Author's note:- Long time no see? I have the whole thing figured out, just, I'm literally unable to write. Idk if it's the writer's block or my lack of concentration or maybe just me not wanting to end the story I started a long time ago.

Anyways, enjoy!

I'm leaving today.

To spend the night alone, trapped in his own head which was filled with thoughts of every catastrophic end to his current situation possible, was more than difficult for Ash. His thoughts were suffocating him, but he still managed to sleep for a few hours.

The scenes from previous nights were playing in his head in a painful, endless loop.

"I'm a starmie!!" cheered May, trying to free herself from Misty's grip, which was the sole reason she was standing straight.

"May, you idiot! You're drunk!" shoutedMisty.

Ash held May's other arm. "Here, lemme give you some support."

"Thanks Ash."

"No problem."

"I'm a shiny starmieeee!"

"Honestly," Misty piped up, "she can be crazy when she's drunk."

Ash half laughed. "That's May for you."

For the next few seconds they struggled to take May inside the lift, but after a lot of effort, they succeeded. Ash pressed the button for May's floor as they patiently waited to reach the top floor.

He wanted to talk to Misty. To try and find a solution to their problem. But before he could think of a proper start to the conversation, Misty broke the silence.

"You know Ash, I've always wanted to tell you how I felt."

Ash felt peculiar. He knew this conversation wouldn't go anywhere he desired, no matter how much they wanted it to end differently.

"But the only thing stopping me was my fear. That you might not feel the same way, or even though, somehow, you do feel the same, we won't work out because you'd be traveling and I'd be battling in the gym, and we'll have communication gaps and misunderstandings and eventually…" She sighed. "We'll fall apart. Because it's inevitable. It's not in our hands. And even though I'm all for fighting for what I really want, I wasn't sure you'd want to do the same." Her voice cracked while saying the last part.

If he's being completely honest, he never gave the matter much thought. And sadly, though hard to admit, Misty could be right. He didn't want to ruin his friendship with her. Kalos' wildcard tryouts could be his one chance. If he wins, which he believed he had a strong chance of doing, he'll have to dedicate himself to the Kalos league. He'll have to move to the Kalos region, permanently.

He didn't reply. He didn't know how to tell her that her fears were coming true, and that she was absolutely right.

He was afraid. Tomorrow he'd be back to his journey where it was only him and Pikachu and none of his old friends to comfort them. Sure, he'd likely meet new amazing people, but no one would know him like his friends do. Like Misty does.

To find himself at such a stage of life was surprising, afraid of doing the only thing that once kept him alive. What if, like last time, he almost loses another loved one while traveling and never gets to tell them how much they mean to him?

In the past few years, everything he did ended badly. Every decision he made was the wrong one. He felt so hollow that the only thing that kept him going was his Pokemon. He was sure she felt something similar because he could see it in her eyes.

Getting up from the bed this morning seemed impossible to him. It wasn't laziness, not at all. It was the fear of starting the day and eventually reaching the part where he leaves for Indigo Island, without Misty. Without paying a visit to his mom. Without making everything alright. Too much pressure. He didn't want the day to start at all.

Though no one would care if he didn't attend May's wedding ceremony, his phone rang. It was Leaf.

He groaned and reluctantly picked the call on the last ring.

"Mhhm?" He answered the phone, not realising his voice was still hoarse, and the first thing he heard from the other side was soft yet excited murmurs.

"Get your lazy ass to the breakfast buffet right now!" The annoyed voice of Leaf pierced through the phone.

He groaned again.

"Use some words, Ash."

He sighed. "Do I have to come?"

"Did I not make myself clear? You're coming here in ten minutes or I'm sending Brock to drag your butt across the whole villa," she whispered sternly.

"Jeez, what a nice way to start a day-" But she already hung up. Ash buried his head in the pillow and groaned for the millionth time this morning. "Leaf and her stupid fantasy of a perfect wedding, and her annoying over optimism that everything is perfect- ughhh!"

To Ash's own surprise, he almost arrived on time.

Leaf was the first one to greet him when he joined the table where all his friends were having breakfast together. "Hey! You finally woke up?" she chirped as if she just didn't threaten to drag his butt across the villa ten minutes ago.

He squinted his eyes at Leaf as he sat beside Misty, the only chair left. He was pretty sure it was done on purpose, completely aware of the fact that his friends paired Misty and him all the time to push his buttons. Little did they know he always liked it.

"Morning," Misty greeted him, her voice neutral.

Ash half smiled. "Morning!" Not sure what else to say, he started eating his sausages. Completely aware that Misty is sitting right beside him, it's hard not to think of their conversation last night.

On the other end of the table, Ash could feel Brock's eerie gaze on him and probably on Misty too. He strongly hoped Brock did not have a clue what happened between them, but Brock always seemed to notice stuff quicker than anyone else.

"Last night was fun, wasn't it?" Brock said casually. Ash knew he was trying to get a reaction from them. And it was working because he could feel the heat rise on his cheeks. Thankfully, his tan skin did not allow such a small amount of heat to make his cheeks any redder than that of a cold morning.

He nodded in response to Brock's question as Dawn excitedly broke into the story of how May's guitar cousin thought she was a star coordinator. Ash was so thankful of Dawn for diverting everyone's attention. But just to be safe, he looked at Misty from the corner of his eyes to check if she gave away even a tiny hint that Brock's first attempt had gotten a reaction from her.

Her cheeks are glowing red.

Yet, despite the fact that a flustered Misty was a rare sight- and as he resisted his new desire to kiss her cheeks every time she blushed- he cursed in his head because he would swear on his life that Brock would not miss the blush.

His worst fear came true when Ash noticed the victorious smirk on Brock's face. The audacity of this jerk. He snapped out of his thoughts when his friends' voices pierced through his ears and he returned to reality.

"-that was when I said, I'm not the coordinator you think I am." Everyone laughed as Dawn, who was barely controlling her own laugh with mouth full of food, finished her story.

"I was once asked if I am Andrew Garfield," chuckled Gary.

Leaf shook her head. "If I remember it correctly, they asked you if you were Andrew Garfield's stunt double!"

Misty, who was in a deep thought, let out an almost authentic laugh when she realised everyone else was laughing too. She couldn't help herself from zoning out every now and then, questioning her choices. Her brief chain of thoughts regarding Ash usually goes in a sequence, the first thought being the unbelievable fact that she fell in love with the goofy, stubborn, dense kid she met years ago. Then her mind replays the time when the realization hit her that she had 'accidentally' developed a little crush on her traveling companion. She still remembers how panicked she was and how she calmed herself thinking she would get over it. That was the biggest lie I ever told myself. And, skipping the part where they were teens and had so much sexual tension that they bantered to utilize all that energy somewhere, she could not believe she managed to confess to this thick headed man, who, surprisingly, did not completely shut down when she did so. And to her shock, he managed to confess his feelings back, which was still big news for her, and managed to make her a lovesick pile of blushing goo! And after all this melodrama, they just realized they can't get together.

Before her own thoughts and her recently developed quirk of not wanting to vent about her problems to a friend take away her sanity, she decided she should join Dawn and Leaf who were getting ready for the wedding ceremony together so they could help each other with makeup and hair. Nothing some girl time couldn't fix.

Ash watched the trio of girls as they left the breakfast buffet a little earlier than the guys.

Scratching his cheek, Ash looked into the bathroom mirror. There was a storm like fuss in his gut.

"Still growing that beard, Ashy boy?" Gary chuckled as he entered the bathroom.

"Huh?"

"You looked stressed."

"I do?"

Gary grabbed his face wash and stood beside him facing the mirror. "Just think before making decisions."

"Sure." Ash shrugged and left the bathroom while Gary washed his face.

At least some bonds were mended.

Ash wore his best suit that he had brought for the main event. He looked at his reflection again while knotting the tie. He sighed.

How is this selfishness of yours

That you pick neither Sun nor the shade,

How is this selfishness of yours

that your feet don't Stay anywhere.

The sun was going down slowly. People started gathering at the venue on the beach. He was one of the first people to arrive. He picked a seat in the back corner, the closest to the sea. He closed his eyes and felt the wind on his face. The air was moist yet cool. The waves crashed to the shore like the sea was breathing. Everything else around him was so alive, but he felt something inside him suffocating, almost dying.

You've tried being your own god,

and crossed all seven seas,

Still, there is a draught within your heart,

Why is it so…

Before he knew it, the ceremony had started. Drew stood tall and stiff, as stiff as he had ever been.

The music started playing when Norman walked May down the aisle. She looked beautiful. She looked like a little girl and a beautiful woman at the same time. When she stopped by Drew, they looked at each other as if the universe started and ended with them.

The sun was ready to dip in the ocean when May recited her vows, "I, May Maple, take you, Drew Hayden, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death does us part."

And then Drew kissed her.

The air which was filled with soft murmurs and the sound of the sea waves some moments ago was now replaced with cheers and applause.

He felt May's happiness, but he felt his own sadness too.

I am so selfish.

Surrounding the newly wedded couple stood the bridesmaids, and there she was. Misty. The setting sun's last few golden rays hugged her warmly and she looked radiant as the cool wind touched her. But her smile-there was something about her smile. It was not one of the smiles she gave him when he won a match or when she won a match. It was the smile she wore when Togetic left her. She was not okay, either.

How's this selfishness of yours,

that you have forgotten old love..

O free man, free spirit,

you're a storm of wind..

then why have you ended

within yourself only..

His flight would be taking off in four hours. He felt a pang of pain in his chest and he took a deep breath. Out in the freshest air possible, he couldn't breathe.

The crowd started to make their way towards the newly wedded couple, to congratulate and bless them, and also to click group photos to capture the moment. May's family was the first in the queue followed by Drew's family and everyone else.

May looked a little teary and a little tired, but mostly she was happy while Drew looked relaxed and the happiest he'd ever looked. Ash saw his friends gather around May and Drew. Brock, Dawn, Leaf, Gary and Misty, they were all hugging and congratulating the couple.

Brock waved at Ash, signaling him to join them for a picture. That's when Ash realized he had tomark his presence too and that he should probably congratulate the couple and hand them the gift he'd statshedin his tuxedo's pocket.

He walked through the crowd, towards his friends.

"Congratulations, you guys!" Ash hugged them.

Drew beamed. "Thanks a lot, Ash!"

Ash smiled back. "I have something for you." He pulled out a wooden case from his pocket.

"Look at my boy, all grown up!" Dawn cooed and everyone laughed.

He handed the wooden case to them, "Thank you, Ash!" May said sweetly and hugged him again. She whispered in his ear, "I know you are not at your best right now, but it will be fine." Ash was trying not to cry. The thing about crying is that when you have a shoulder you'd always want to cry.

"Now stand still everyone", Brock commanded, "And say cheese!"

The group stood close, facing the camera and they gave their best smiles. They scattered when the cameraman gave a thumbs up.

The rest of the time flew by fast.

May danced with her father. She was so graceful in her white puffy dress, she looked like a cotton cloud floating in the sky. Her father had tears in his eyes at the end of the dance; most of the women had teary eyes too. It fascinated Ash so much that women could be so brave about expressing their emotions. Then it was Max's turn to share a dance with May.

"You better not trip this time!" May chuckled, which changed the mood of everyone.

And finally, she danced with Drew.

They were dancing beautifully, the 'made for each other' kind of beautiful. Ash felt happy watching everyone enjoying the moment.

At the end of the couple's dance, the music transitioned into a very fast and energetic song, so almost everyone else jumped on the dance floor. Leaf grabbed him by hand and dragged him along. Though he was not really in a mood to dance and he would rather watch them from a distance, dancing along gave him a sense of belonging.

Eventually, Gary and Leaf started dancing together. Colette joined in too and coupled up with Brock. Ash, Misty and Dawn were still enjoying themselves until May's guitar cousin asked Dawn for a dance.

"I'm Eric, by the way," he introduced himself and offered his hand to Dawn.

"You certainly are an Eric." She laughed and took his hand before they disappeared somewhere in the crowd.

Ash wanted to dance with Misty, but when he checked the time, it was time for him to leave.

He looked at her and she instantly understood what that look meant. She took a step forward and hugged him. "Goodluck Ash. Goodbye."

Still hugging him, she pecked his cheek. He wanted to cry, but not in front of her. Instead, he nodded and took a deep breath, bottling her scent in his mind. They broke the hug, he turned around and walked away.

Ash went back to his room and made sure everything was packed. When he was about to exit his room, he looked back and scanned the room to see if he left something. No matter how many times he checked, he felt something was missing.

Was he allowed to cry yet? Did he still have the right to cry? It's his choice after all. Why was he being so dramatic? The thing was, Kalos league wildcard tryouts or not, he would have to leave either way. It has always been his thing, traveling and battling.

The walk to the exit was tiring. He encountedr a few people asking him why he was leaving so early or if it was time already. He would just smile at them and politely inform them he had to catch a flight.

Loading all his luggage in the cab, they headed to the Pokemon Center to pick up Pikachu. In the loud and crazy events that happened in the last few days, he didn't realize just how much he had missed Pikachu. They cuddled the whole way to the airport.

Pikachu's presence made the tiring trip to the airport a little easier. He almost forgot about that feeling of carrying this burden with him, which was so exhausting that he wanted to switch his brain off for some time. The whole week, he tried not to think about any triggering thoughts, but now all of a sudden, the thoughts overwhlemed his mind in a very drastic, tsunami kinda way.

Sitting among a crowd of strangers waiting for their flights, he bought some packets of ketchup for Pikachu and grabbed a hot chocolate for himself to soothe his mind. It helped a little because, now, instead of thinking about terrifying memories, he started recalling that time when he was first flying to Kalos. He was nervous, he wanted some company. But mostly, he was excited.

He wanted to learn and train; these were the motives that carried him all these years. But now, he was practically forcing himself to feel that same rush of excitement, that old thrill. He was unable to do that. Those forces had exited his body after the big landslide accident, and his mother's accident made sure the crippling anxiety can pave the way in.

Do I want this? Am I hurting myself?

A sudden announcement startled him."Good afternoon passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 89B to Indigo Plateau. We are now inviting those passengers with small children, and any passengers requiring special assistance, to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately ten minutes time. Thank you."

It's time. But am I sure about this?

He stood up and grabbed his luggage. A lot of people started moving ahead to complete the formalities. He looked at the passage leading to the flight.

He shook his head and walked out of the airport.

That familiar white wooden door, and the old ash tree in the front yard stood still, yet in a strange nostalgic way, as if welcoming him home after a long summer day of playing in the woods. Ash could see the lights coming from the window illuminating a small part of grass.

"She must be awake, right?" he asked Pikachu, his voice shaky.

Pikachu licked his cheek, encouraging him to go ahead. He smiled weakly at Pikachu and stepped forward.

Taking a deep breath, ash knocked on the door.

P.S. JUST ONE MORE CHAPTER TO GO YAY!! (Or maybe two it totally depends on me mwahahaah!)