Well after noon, Amy and Spartan rode the dirt drive through the Heartland gate. No one was there to greet them, no one to ask where they had been.
Dismounting just outside the barn, Amy untacked him, carrying the herbs Mrs. Bell gave her into the barn. She felt surprisingly calm as she quickly brushed dirt and muck from his coat.
"Hey Spartan, its a pretty day, how about a bath?" He didn't answer. But, his big brown eyes watched carefully as she assembled the bucket, sponges, hose, soap.
"Yeah, I know its been a while. But, better late than never." She took her time, hosing him down, neck to tail, stomach to legs, rubbing him as the cool water ran. She began to hum, a Tom Petty song, one that Ty liked, Learning to Fly. Today, for some reason, it took on new meaning for her.
She didn't like the commercial equine soaps, they smelled medicinal, often irritated the horse's skin, so she made her own. She mixed together batches of the stuff, first an olive oil based castile soap, then aloe vera, glycerin and avocado oil. And, only because she loved the smell of lavendar, she added a few drops of that essential oil too.
Adding the concoction into her bucket of water, she dunked the coarse yellow sponge in. With diligent circles starting at Spartan's neck, she slowly made her way all over his body. Enjoying his bath, Spartan stood absolutely still, closing his eyes lazily, almost in mediatation.
She drenched his tail and mane with the remaining soapy water, then began the rinse cycle. She saved washing his face for last, she was carefully not to get the soap in his eyes or nostrals. His coat gleemed, as she brushed the tangles out of his mane and tail.
Her clothes and hair were soaked by the end, she looked a bit like a drowned rat but she was pleased. As she turned to stall Spartan, Old Blue with Ty behind the wheel drove by on its way to the house. Neither acknowkedged her. She sighed, headed into the barn with Spartan.
Ty's truck was still parked at the ranch, when she finished, ready for hot shower and clean clothes. She debated. Not ready for uncomfortable looks and conversation from her family and Ty, she turned around, headed up the stairs to the loft, stretched her body across the bed, feet dangling. The air was warm, stagnet, quickly lulling her into a light, but sweaty sleep.
When she woke, she heard laughing, then Old Blue's engine trying to come to life. After two tries, the engine caught, the truck drove away. She sat up, stretched, headed down the wooden stairs, walked quickly to the house. She wasn't sure of the time but figured it was late afternoon. Stepping quietly into the house, she removed her boots, slid them under the bench. Lou and Georgie were busy in the kitchen washing dishes, Jack, Lisa, and Katie were lounging, reading in the living room.
Clearly, she had missed dinner. As she passed through the living room, Jack questioned her, simply by glaring over the top of his reading glasses, eyebrows raised. He didn't say a word, she didn't respond. Gathering clean clothes from her room, she headed into the bathroom to shower.
Fresh, wet hair wrapped in a white towel, Amy headed to her room. Lou called, "Amy. You missed dinner."
"I wasn't hungry." She responded. Her stomach betrayed her, growling, rumbling, begging for food. Frowning at her body's need for sustenance, she acquiesced, headed into the kitchen, grabbed a couple apples and glass of orange juice.
"Ty had dinner with us." Lou informed her.
She nodded, not sure what to say that wouldn't seem snarky.
Grinning, Georgie excitedly wanted to share with Amy. "Guess what! Ty took me to the wildlife perserve again. The wolf pup is doing good. He is so cute." Georgie paused, a little hesitant. "You should come next time."
"Good to hear about the pup. Know you did a good job caring for him." Then she touched her niece's shoulder. "Georgie, as much as I'd like to spend time with you, Ty and I are taking a break. You know that." she softened. "But, let's plan something, just you and me, okay?"
The young girl nodded.
"Okay. Headed to bed. I'm bushed." Lying to everyone who cared to listen, it was just easier.
"Amy. I have a supply run in the morning, want to join me?" Jack offered.
"Sorry Grandpa. I've already made plans." She quickly amended her comments. "Mind if I borrow your other truck tomorrow? The gold one?"
"Its yours."
"Thanks grandpa." As she turned the corner to her room, "Good night everyone."
The night was a sleepless one. Once everyone had retired to their rooms, Amy packed a few things, stole into the night, to the barn, up to the loft. The space was no different than earlier in the day, but somehow she saw it differently. Maybe it was the stark comparison to her bedroom, filled fancies from her younger self, ribbons from her past desires and accomplishments, teenage books, pictures of Ty. Her promise and engagement rings. The necklace from her European adventure. They were all left behind.
The loft was a blank slate, offered a promise of change, of growth. Scott changed from a derelict, misfit, rebel into a respected member of Hudson society, a professional, kind, gentle. Ty was on that same path. Maybe it was the loft, spare, unencumbered with past reminders, harsh at times, heat in the summer, cold in the winter, rain any time the sky grew cloudy. Maybe it was that space that forced the change, the evolution. Maybe it was her turn.
Amy pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag. She wrote down the things she liked about her life. Horses. It was the only thing she wrote down. She sighed heavily, continued on. What she liked about herself. Kind. Good with horses. Blonde hair. Good laugh. Blue eyes.
Then she wrote down what she wanted to accomplish in her life. Own a successful horse business. Own a ranch. Own a truck and trailer. Get a college degree. Own a dog. Be married to Ty. She crossed off the last one. What she wanted to be. Strong. Independent. Educated. Smart. Respected. Brave. With friends. She laughed harshly at herself. She truly had no friends, except Soraya who was thousands of miles away. And, Ty, who wouldn't talk to her.
So she unpacked the few things she brought, her mom's and her journals, a change of clothes, her toothbrush, hair brush and two cowboy hats. She was home. Taking off her clothes, she slid under the blanket, fell asleep.
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