Chapter 21: The Truth Will Come Out Eventually
After the dismissal, Kakashi's team left the office. Kakashi himself didn't move as requested. Hermione watched as he kept his gaze on the leader. The Hokage didn't start speaking right away, instead he was sorting through some paperwork.
"Alright, first things first. Kakashi, I want you to fix the wards around your house. They need to be impregnable. With the current state of affairs, Danzo will try to come after the both of you. There's someone I know who can help with this, I'll send him your way."
"Understood." Kakashi said."This will mean, Hermione-san, you will continue to stay with Kakashi for the time being." Hermione flinched as the Hokage turned to her as he spoke. From the corner of her eye she saw Kakashi following his gaze and she knew they both saw her flinch at what he had said.
"Is there a problem with this arrangement, Hermione-san?"
She looked up at the older man in fright. She wasn't ready for this. It was too soon to talk about it. And she didn't want to accuse Kakashi of anything. Not if she didn't know what was real, even if she was fairly certain he wasn't involved in what had happened to her.
"I- No, it's not that. It's, um-," she struggled getting an answer out.
She heard a sigh and looked to the side, at Kakashi, who looked at her. Was he actually sighing at her? Unbelievable. It's not like she could help it. She didn't ask for this. Merlin, she didn't ask for any of this. She opened her mouth, to try and give an answer as the Hokage was still waiting for an explanation. Kakashi answered instead, giving a blunt answer.
"She was tortured."
The tone of his voice made her wince. She felt like she just majorly screwed something up. They were already on a thin line as it is. The surge of rejection she felt threw her off. Yeah, she realised, she did screw up with her reaction. It's not like she did it on purpose, though. Surely he knew that? She figured it didn't matter to him, it still stung, if the look on his face was anything to go by. So now she would have to rebuild not only her trust in him but make amends with him as well.
"I see," the Hokage said, interrupting her thoughts. He stayed silent for a moment after that. "While I understand this makes things a bit more complicated, I do insist she stays at your house, Kakashi. She'll be safest there, especially after the wards have been upgraded."
He turned to look at Hermione, silently asking her to comply. Not that she really had a choice, now did she? It was what she had expected anyhow. Nothing had changed. Kakashi was still the best fit in order to help her. She nodded softly, looking away. Hermione couldn't bear looking at the silver-haired teen at the moment, not when she was quite certain that the hurt she felt was coming from him, even if he didn't show it.
"Alright, both of you are dismissed. Kakashi, expect the shinobi to arrive later today."
"Yes sir," Kakashi complied. He then moved to where she was still sitting, holding Teddy to her chest. She knew what was coming next as he slowly reached out to her. He would have to touch her and take her back to his house. Okay. She could do this. She wasn't going to flinch. She was not going to do that and.. Damn it. She flinched.
Hermione knew the moment she flinched, because Kakashi's grip on her tightened as he readied himself to take them back to the house. The second they landed in the house, he released her next to the couch and walked away from her.
"Kakashi-san, please wait!" She struggled juggling Teddy and finding her balance after the transport. "Kakashi!" But no response came. Nor did he come back, leaving her in the living room. Hermione shifted the boy to her hip and tried to sit down, without putting any weight on her leg.
"Mai-mai!" Teddy startled moving in her grip, clearly not wanting to be held any longer. She let him go on the floor, not even registering what he almost said, taking out her wand to summon a couple of toys to keep him busy. Dropping the wand on the couch next to her, Hermione put her hands to her face and cried. She just didn't know what to do anymore. She was completely utterly lost, not knowing what to do about any of this.
The more she thought about it, the harder she cried. Fuck, her head hurt. Her leg hurt. Honestly, everything did, but mostly her heart. And rationally, she knew it wasn't just her causing the ache in her heart, which made it even worse. Not being able to keep herself upright, she moved to lie down on the couch and curled up in a ball, softly sobbing. She couldn't do this anymore. It was too much.
There was no other way to explain it. She looked absolutely terrified at the thought of going back home with him. Realising that hurt. It was rejection upon rejection today. Kakashi clenched his jaw at this realisation, shutting the feeling down as soon as it came. Why the fuck would he care? Sure, she was tortured. She wasn't alone in that, however. It's not like he was never tortured. He had his own terrors that he had to deal with on a daily basis. She was nothing special in that case. Watching her struggle to get the words out just made him sigh in annoyance.
"She was tortured." He supplied in an uncaring way.
"I see," his leader responded, giving him a look. Acting like this was a bit suspicious to the Hokage, but really, at this point he didn't care. He was tired and wanted to go home. "While I understand this makes things a bit more complicated, I do insist she stays at your house, Kakashi. She'll be safest there, especially after the wards have been upgraded."
Whatever, he thought. It would seem he would just have to deal with that, just like before. At least he had more answers now. He wasn't going in blind, knew quite a bit of what she could do. Of what the kid could do. Maybe he could take advantage of that.
After the dismissal of the Hokage, he walked towards her and slowly reached out to her in order to take them home. He couldn't help himself as his grip tightened as she flinched. Come on, Kakashi, he thought. He would not let it get to him.
As they appeared in the living room, he was glad they appeared next to the couch. It meant he could leave right away. He heard her call after him, asking him to wait. He didn't. He wanted a shower and his bed and there was no way he was giving that up in favour of watching her be terrified of him. She could go and figure that out on her own. He already told her what he could. There wasn't anything else he could do for her anyways.
He turned on the shower and stripped out of his clothes. The water was scorching hot, but he didn't care. Maybe the sting on his skin would help him forget, even if it was only momentarily. Just to be able to not think for a little while. He'd give anything in the world to not think or feel anything right now. Feeling the burn of the water, he changed the temperature to cold. He placed his hands against the tiled wall and ducked his head under the spray, soaking his head, clenching his eyes shut.
After a few minutes, he heard shuffling on the other side of the door and sighed. Couldn't she just leave him be? He didn't want to talk with her, he wanted to be left alone. A soft pound was heard on the door, a lot lower than he had expected. Had she fallen? No, she would've yelled out if she had, right?
"Shi!"
Of course, the kid. How could he have forgotten? But what was the kid doing here? She should be watching him, not let him wander around the house. He turned the shower off and grabbed a towel. Cursing himself that he forgot to bring a mask with him, he looked around for anything else to use. Kakashi, you idiot. One towel, really? Well, he sure as hell wasn't going to scare the kid by showing up naked, so he would just have to hope it was only the boy that was behind the door. He hated not being able to sense them, he would have to figure out how to change that.
He wrapped the towel around his waist after quickly drying himself and opened the door. "What?"
"Shi!"
The boy said, holding his hands up.
"Yes, what?"
Kakashi said impatiently. He was definitely not going to pick the kid up. He wasn't his responsibility.
"Mai,"
he said, pointing towards the living room, before signalling he wanted to be picked up again.
"What about her?"
"Mai hurt."
Hurt? Not this again. He hadn't felt anyone enter his house and he hadn't heard her fall or call out for help, so what..? Then he heard it. The sniffling and the soft sobs. She was crying. Of course she was, she was always crying it seemed. But, he supposed it was to be expected after everything. He just didn't know how someone could cry this much. He couldn't even remember the last time he cried.
"And what am I supposed to do with this?" Why was he talking to a toddler again? It wasn't like the kid could hold a conversation.
"Mai
hurt!" The boy spoke insistently, reaching for Kakashi's leg to stabilise himself as he looked up and pointed towards the living room.
Kakashi let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead. "Okay, okay. Let me get dressed."
He walked past the boy and quickly threw some clothes on, including a mask this time. As he walked back out, he looked at Teddy whose lip was trembling as if about to cry. His shoulders sagged as he moved towards the boy and bent down to pick him up before making his way towards the living room. She was no longer sobbing, but still sniffled a little bit. He knew he should've stopped when she asked him to as he looked her over. She looked absolutely miserable. Damn it.
What was he supposed to do now? He wasn't one to comfort anyone. Honestly, he didn't know how. Never had to comfort anyone, not really. And he doubted a challenge would be something she wanted, she wasn't Gai. He was tempted to ask for his friend, but knew he had to explain everything to him first, so there was no way that was happening. Who else? Shisui? No, he was good with the kid, but didn't speak her language. Tenzou was out, he wouldn't do that to either of them. Then.. Genma? No, definitely not. He was not letting him near her. He was going to have to trust his gut on that.
Again, he sighed. Fuck, this was all so troublesome. He set Teddy down on the floor and walked towards her. What now? Think Kakashi, you're a genius, surely you can think of something to say.
"Hermione-san?"
"Go away."
She said, her voice muffled by the pillow she was resting on.
"I'm not going away, this is still my house."
He deadpanned, with a raised eyebrow. Which she couldn't see, but that didn't matter. He didn't mean it in a harsh way and had made sure his voice portrayed that.
"Fine," she said, sitting up but not looking at him. "Then I'll go." She stood up slowly, obviously in no condition to leave, even if she was allowed to, which she wasn't. There was a massive target on her back, his as well.
"No, you won't." Kakashi got up as well. She tried to get away from him, but was hilariously slow and stumbled as she tried to speed up. He was beside her in a blink of an eye, stabilising her.
"Don't touch me!"
He didn't listen and didn't let her go as she tried to pull her arm away. She kept tugging and even started crying again. "Damn it Kakashi, let me go! Please, please!" She cried out.
"No." He pulled at the arm he was holding, pulling her towards him and encircled his other arm around her as well, holding her to his chest. She started thrashing about, trying to get out of his hold, but he wouldn't budge. While he didn't know what he was doing exactly, didn't know what to say either. He was just copying what he had seen his sensei do in the past with Kushina and Rin when they were upset. He knew she needed this and knew deep down she knew that too. "I'm not going to hurt you, so stop fighting. You are safe here. No one will hurt you."
Trapped. She felt trapped and she needed to get out, but he only held her tighter. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?! He didn't want anything to do with her half an hour ago, so why bother now? Hermione tried her hardest to get him to let go, even going as far as to punch his chest multiple times.
"I'm not going to hurt you, so stop fighting." He said in a calm voice, which was almost soothing. "You are safe here. No one will hurt you."
Kakashi comforting her only made her cry harder. It was so goddamn ironic. After a few minutes of resisting and punching his chest she lost the strength to keep fighting. Her fist that still rested against his chest opened and she grabbed his shirt, twisting it in her grip. She was tired, so tired. All the fight in her left as he said those words. Feeling her knees buckle, she hung onto Kakashi as he gently lowered her to the ground, kneeling down next to her as he held her tight.
It was quite clear he hadn't done much comforting in his life. His hold was awkward and not really comforting at all, but the thought that he of all people held her, somehow helped. He didn't do anything other than that. He just held her and it had been just what she needed. To know she wasn't alone. After a few moments, he started to move a little and she backed away. She noticed he actually looked a bit embarrassed, a small blush appearing at the edge of his mask. She wasn't surprised to see him this flushed, she didn't think he'd go around hugging women on a regular basis.
"Um, thanks." She said softly. She wasn't really sure what to think of this.
She heard him clear his throat and mumble something as he stood up and left again.
"Wait, Kakashi-san?" She tried again, hoping he would actually wait this time. Surprising her as he did, turning to face her. "I- I wanted to apologise, for my reaction. From before." She started, looking at her hands instead of him. "I didn't- It's like I don't know what real anymore and-"
"It's fine." Hermione looked up in surprise. It was fine? She knew it wasn't, she had felt it. Felt the hurt she had caused. It was far from fine.
"It's not, though." She argued. "It can't possibly be fine! I hurt you!"
Kakashi let out a humourless chuckle, "you hurt me? As if." He shook his head and turned back around, leaving the room.
"Don't lie to me! I felt it! The hurt you felt, I could feel it!" She yelled at him as she sat up on her knees. The previous vibe had completely disappeared from the room. Even Teddy had looked up to look at both of them in confusion.
"How could you possibly have felt it?" He hissed, clearly challenging her. "Wasn't it you that told me that you didn't know what I was talking about when I asked you what you were doing to me?"
"I-" Shit. Shitshitshit. She had said that, hadn't she? Stupid. What now? She couldn't lie now, he'd never believe her. Not that he had before, but at least she could feign ignorance then. She screwed up majorly now.
"Well?" He moved back into the living room, arms crossed. "Please do explain that to me, Hermione-san."
Leaning back, she looked back down. How was she going to explain this to him? He'd think she was mental. Did they even know about something like this here? Damn it, this just got a whole lot more complicated. "I- I don't know how to. It's going to sound crazy."
"I'm sure I can keep up."
Of course he thinks that. He probably could, too. She knew he was smart, that much had been clear. Okay, think, Hermione. She felt her brow furrow as she thought about how to explain this. But wait, she wasn't the only one who needed to explain things, was she? Not really. While she knew he was completely in his right to not say anything about it, she would still need to address it. It would also help to explain all this.
"I know you're Hound." She whispered softly.
"Don't change the subject." She wasn't sure if she should count it as a win that he didn't deny it. This was going to be harder than she thought.
"I'm not changing the subject."
Kakashi snorted in response, "you just called me a dog."
"Don't be an idiot, I did not." She said, she felt herself get annoyed with his attitude, crossing her arms as well. This was not helping at all. It was truly impossible to have a normal conversation with this guy, wasn't it?
"Yes, you did. You do know a hound is a dog, right?"
"Of course I know- You're being impossible! I did not call you a hound. I said that I know you are Hound. The guy with the white animal mask?" She said, using her hand to make a vague motion towards her face.
"Uhu, right." He responded dismissively. "And what makes you think I am?"
Hermione rolled her eyes at that. This was even worse than having an argument with Harry and Ron, his attitude was absolutely awful. "I don't think you are him, I know you are."
"Oh, right. My bad, you know. And of course, you know everything and you're always right, aren't you?"
That stung and hit a bit too close to home. She swallowed the lump in her throat before responding. "Stop being like this, you're acting like a child."
Before either of them had a chance to say something else, someone knocked on the door. Her heart started racing. She heard Kakashi sigh and mumble again, walking towards the front door and opening it. She couldn't hear what was being said, but a short moment later, the door clicked shut. Hermione looked up to see Kakashi walk back in, followed by a younger kid. He looked to be mid-teens and had his brown hair pulled up in a ponytail. The most notable feature was the horizontal scar on his face.
The kid looked extremely nervous and started blushing as he saw her, stuttering something that maybe sounded like a greeting, but she wasn't sure.
"This is Umino Iruka-san," Kakashi said. "He's here to help with the wards."
Ah, right. The Hokage had said something about that, hadn't he? She just didn't expect someone this young.
"Stay here while we work on the wards."
"I- yeah, sure. I'll just-" but whatever she wanted to say fell on deaf ears as Kakashi left the room, the younger teen in tow, Iruka was it? He seemed nice enough. She didn't think he spoke English though, so it would be of no use to try and converse with him.
Hermione shook her head and glanced at Teddy, who was busy trying to build something with the blocks she had provided. Now that she thought about it, maybe she could take a shower or better yet, a bath. She felt disgusting and all the crying she had done didn't help that fact. And she could definitely use that time to think things through. She had a feeling Kakashi wouldn't let this go, so she'd better think of a good answer.
"Okay, bud, let's get ourselves cleaned up, hm? After that we'll have to go hunt for some food, you must be starving. I know I am." She said to him.
As she stood up, she tested her leg by applying a little bit of weight on it. It didn't hurt as much as it had before, for which she was glad. She would just have to make sure not to apply too much weight on it. She couldn't wait to get to bed and just sleep. She felt like she could sleep for at least a week. But, first things first. Shower, then food and somewhere between those two she would have to figure out what to tell Kakashi. Hermione didn't think she could do anything else than tell him the truth. Yeah, if anything was clear it was that sleep would have to wait for now.