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IV. Foreordination
When Kim picked her up for school the following morning, Nina found it hard to meet her best friend's kind eyes. Guilt had plagued her thoughts nearly every moment since the prior night, and while she knew she hadn't necessarily done anything wrong, she knew she'd have to keep such a thing from Kim in order to not hurt her.
They were silent nearly the entire ride, but when Kim shifted into park, she turned to her with a knowing sadness.
"Rough night with mom?"
If Nina could've inconspicuously thrown herself from the vehicle that very second, she would've at least tried.
Instead, she found herself swallowing down a premeditated apology and nodding slowly, shutting her eyes momentarily when Kim reached across to squeeze her knee.
"The weekend always comes soon," Kim offered, her smile mild.
Nina grinned in response and nodded, meeting Kim's eyes for just a second before grabbing her bag and pushing open her door. She found her morning classes breezing by in a blur, and Kim's cheerfulness had successfully rid her mind of most of her guilt by the time free period rolled around.
"If you want, we can head up to Port Angeles this weekend and see if there's somewhere to take pictures there," Kim offered, walking by her side into the library, "... preferably somewhere without ginormous cliffs to hike up to."
Nina chuckled at her, turning to face her with a smile, "Maybe we won't almost get mauled by some wild animal either on the way."
They laughed with one another as the door shut behind them, hushing their voices under the stare of the librarian. They had just settled in across from one another at a table in the farthest corner when the door opened again and Jared, with unhappy, purple smudges beneath his eyes, entered. His eyes found her with ease, and though strained, he smiled at her as he approached.
"Hey Nina," he whispered, eyes flickering to the girl beside her, "Kim," he nodded at her.
He settled in beside Kim, and Nina watched as she glowed scarlet, looking excitedly across the table from her. She smiled back at her.
For some time, they worked together on their project, Kim- to Nina's delight- even interjecting on occasion with insight and assistance. They finished their highlighting and were developing an outline when Jared broke focus, resting his chin into his palm and sending Nina a sly grin.
"So, girls," his eyes flickered to Kim for a moment, "plans for the weekend?"
Nina narrowed her eyes at him.
Kim glanced at Nina, and when she was met without a response, she turned back to Jared and spoke rather confidently, "We're going to head up to Port Angeles so Nina can get some more pictures for her blog."
Jared's eyes twinkled, and he shot another smile in Nina's direction, her eyes remaining narrowed, her curiosity piqued.
"That's crazy!" He exclaimed, "I was just thinking about heading up there the other day."
Nina shared a glance with Kim, and she watched as the lightbulb ignited in Kim's head. When she met Jared's eyes across the table, he winked at her.
"Well," Kim began, her own eyes shining, "you can come with, if you want."
Nina knew her best friend was fighting a blush as she met Jared's eyes, but then he was looking back and forth between the two, his smile broad.
"That'd be awesome! I mean, if you guys don't mind."
Kim smiled again, "Yeah, of course- Nina?"
She inhaled deeply, wondering how Jared would've ever known they were going to Port Angeles and then wondering if she was overthinking the entire thing. Kim's excitement was too endearing to not smile.
"Sure, yeah," she nodded, "it'll be fun."
As if the universe itself were conspiring against her, the remainder of the week flew by, and Nina was soon staring the weekend right in the face. She and Jared had finished their outline and were writing by the time the bell had rang Friday afternoon, and they had managed to reach that point throughout their free period together. She was happy with the way that he and Kim seemed to be getting along in those moments- he even always sat beside her, of course, giving Kim the occasional opportunity to beam across the table at her without him knowing.
By the time Saturday morning rolled around, she had nearly forgotten the fact that Jared had asked her out on a date.
The ride to Port Angeles was pleasant.
Jared was sitting shotgun as Kim drove, and Nina, sitting in the middle of the backseat, spent the greater half of the ride leaning forward between the seats and resting her elbows on the center console. The three of them chatted politely, and while she had been elated at how well Jared and Kim were getting along, their conversations were always tight- something she hadn't noticed about Jared and her own conversations. She allowed that thought to slide right off her back just as quickly as it had come.
They had decided on a hike up Hurricane Ridge- just over a mile hike that would bless Nina with views of Mount Olympus and the Strait of Juan de Fuca, and she was practically vibrating as they approached the trailhead.
"I really didn't think this would end up as another hike," Kim chuckled nervously.
Nina looked back at her from over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow, "What did you think we were going to have to do for a good shot?" When Kim stared back in response, she chuckled and returned her gaze forward, "At least we probably won't have to flee the scene like last time."
From beside her, Jared raised an eyebrow, "What happened last time?"
She shook her head, "It was the weirdest thing! We went up to the cliffs to get some pictures, and on the way back down, we heard something crashing through the woods- like something really big."
Jared visibly paled.
Nina raised an eyebrow at him.
"That's uh-" he scratched at the back of his head, "that's really crazy."
"We probably would've been eaten if it weren't for Nina," Kim giggled, quickening her pace to join Nina's other side, "she's like a bullet."
"You're fast?" Jared faced her, intrigued, a light smirk on his lips.
She shrugged, "When I need to be," she laughed.
"Betcha I'm faster," Jared said, a cocky smile taking over his face.
Nina laughed again, and though she was certain that Jared probably was faster than her, her face lit up at the thought of a challenge, and she was quickly shaking her head, "No way."
As if possible, Jared's face glowed brighter than before, and then they were throwing off their backpacks and marking a starting point and finish line, laughing as they did so. Kim stood to the side, face eager and bright as she did so.
"On my mark, and you're not gonna let her cheat, are you?" Jared pointed to Kim, gesturing playfully at Nina as he did so.
"Oh stop," she shoved at his arm, shocked once more at the temperature of it and her inability to make him budge. With one more cackle, he was settling in beside her, glowing, and waiting on the 'go.'
Kim called out to begin, and in just a second, Jared was barreling by Nina- faster than anyone she had ever seen before. He was already waiting at their finish line, smiling when Nina reached him, and with one hand, he had caught her by the arm and was pulling her in for a lighthearted hug, even patting her on the back as he did so. Once again, his heat was overwhelming, but Nina's happiness and their combined laughter was enough to push the thought away just as quickly as it came.
She wiggled from his grasp, hoping Kim didn't note it too seriously, and she swore his fingertips lingered on her spine a moment longer than necessary.
"Say it, Nina," Jared chuckled, "say that I'm faster than you."
"Fine, I'm faster than you," she wrinkled her nose at him playfully, undoing her ponytail and flipping her head down to readjust it.
"Noo," Jared shook his head, his smile seemingly permanent as they resumed their hike, "I just smoked you!"
"Huh, that's funny," Nina pulled her lips to the side, "that's not how I remember it happening." With one more exaggerated eye-roll from Jared, they carried on.
To Nina's relief, Kim did begin joining into conversation once more, and she breathed a little easier at the thought that she hadn't taken anything to heart.
By the time they reached the peak, Nina's heart was racing at a million miles an hour with excitement. She vaguely noticed Jared watching her out of the corner of his eye, but the pure thrill of the peak was enough to keep her distracted from any of his confusing behavior.
She breathed in deeply as her eyes danced across the open sky around them, absentmindedly spinning in place, lips parting slightly. The crisp air tickled her lungs, and she gulped it in happily, her mind suddenly free of all worries. She felt invincible in those first moments.
"Isn't this amazing?" She asked breathlessly, facing Jared- his eyes already on her.
He stared at her for another moment but nodded nonetheless, a wisp of a smile on his face, "simply amazing," he muttered.
She looked away before she could blush, clumsily pulling her camera from her bag and making adjustments. As she worked her way to the edge, she could practically feel Kim's apprehension rising, twisting outwards like nervous tentacles.
"Oh God, be careful," she heard Kim utter, and she felt Jared's presence as he sat down beside her.
He remained silent until she dropped the camera from her face, turning to face him, an eyebrow raised. For a second, he just stared at her, a pleasant grin still overtaking his features. She swallowed hard and broke their eye-contact, turning around in search of Kim. As expected, she was hovering around the center of the flat rocks they were on, lips a thin line and fingers twitching at her sides.
"Wanna come take a look from over here?" Nina offered. She stood, holding out her hand towards her friend.
Kim pondered for a moment, eyes analyzing the edge, before shaking her head no. "I'm good," she chuckled nervously, "want me to take your picture?"
"Of course."
She handed over the camera and, despite Kim's protests, neared the edge once more, smiling brightly at Kim as she clicked off photos. When Kim spoke again, she shocked both of them.
"Wanna hop in, Jared?"
They all stared at one another.
"And then you can take one of the two of us, but I'm not going anywhere near that ledge," she smiled kindly, and Nina could've wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her right then and there, but instead she nodded and laughed lightly, turning to Jared as she did so.
As if struck with pure delight, he extended an arm towards her, inviting her against his warm side with a smile that spread from ear-to-ear. She found herself tucked nicely against him, an arm winding around his waist as they smiled at the camera.
Something about the moment seemed too good to be true, and as she looked at Kim's kind face, diligently taking photos as if it were the most important thing in the world, that unkindly, familiar ball of cotton balls formed at the base of her throat, and she stepped out of Jared's grasp. The wind struck her hard, but the unhappiness settling itself into her chest hit her harder.
"Let's get our pictures and head down," she spoke quietly to Kim as she approached her, gingerly taking the camera and holding it out to Jared. While he listened as she explained how to work it enough for the few photos, she found his troubled stare peering into her soul each time they made eye-contact.
She tried her best to smile as genuinely with Kim as she had with Jared, but even the way his eyes rested on her through the lense nearly took her breath away with guilt. While the day had seemed so perfect, as she reflected on their way down the hike, she attested the majority of her elation to Jared and their time together, and the guilt from that was nearly unbearable. As her mind searched for some sense of comfort, she wished she was in bed- though her own hadn't proven to make her feel better since she was in middle school, and the thought of Kim's bed being her "safe-zone" just solidified the wrongness of the situation. She shut her eyes, slowing down as they were nearing the parking lot, and wished for nothing more than some sense of clarity.
Jared's large hand cupped her shoulder blade, heat emulating from the point of contact. She exhaled, eyes lingering shut.
"You okay, Nina?"
She forced herself to step away from his touch once more, opening her eyes and nodding quickly. They reached the car in silence, her excitement from the day left somewhere along the ledge of the lookout with a warm hand tenderly gripping its shoulder.
Their ride home was nowhere near as pleasant as the one there, and while she was sure that she had gotten some beautiful pictures, she couldn't decide if she thought it was worth it. Taking such a chance of making Kim feel bad was one of the more regrettable things she had done in a long time, and she told herself that she wouldn't allow her selfishness to take that risk again.
They dropped Jared off at the top of a long, winding driveway. He thanked Kim for bringing him along before twisting in his seat to face Nina. She didn't want to meet his eyes and see the expression she somehow knew was in them, but she looked up nonetheless.
"I'll start typing up what we have, and we can add to it Monday, yeah?"
She nodded, forcing out a grin, "Yeah, sounds good."
As Nina replaced him in the passenger seat, she was engulfed in warmth lingering on the seat from his presence, and she was once again wondering how a human could run so warm all the time.
Kim turned to her as she pulled away from his driveway, smiling pleasantly, "This was so much fun!"
"You had fun?" Nina raised an eyebrow as innocently as possible, but Kim's smile told her all she needed to know.
"Spending the whole day with my best friend and the love of my life? Of course I had fun!"
Nina swallowed hard, forcing another smile and nodding, bringing her eyes back to the road in front of them, "Yeah, it was fun."
The remainder of their weekend was dull by comparison to the day before, but for that Nina was grateful. A whole day spent without Jared and the worry of something happening that would upset Kim was relaxing, to say the least, but the coming week still loomed over her head like a raincloud.
Late Sunday night, long after being dropped off by Kim and locking herself in her room, Kim called her.
"Hey! What's up?" She sat up in bed, turning down the already dim volume of the radio.
"Hey, I'm sorry this is late," Kim wheezed out, "I'm just not having a good night with the asthma- I don't think I'm going to go to school tomorrow."
Nina pursed her lips, Kim's words sinking in.
"Mom said she'd come pick you up in the morning and bring you, if you want."
"No, no," Nina shook her head, despite knowing Kim couldn't see her, "tell her it's fine! I could use a good walk," she chuckled.
"If you're sure…"
"I'm sure, Kimmy, you feel better."
As if he hadn't surprised her enough in their short time as… acquaintances? Jared was standing on her front porch the following morning.