XIV. Determinism

Jared's parents were everything that one would imagine would be capable of raising a human so full of life and energy. They were equally as loud and boisterous as he, his mother matching him in charm and his father in humor. It was truly no wonder that he was as wonderful as he was, and Nina was overwhelmed by the sense of belonging that had extended itself upon their home too. While she had never been one to lean on superstition, her belief in the wolves themselves only absolute because she had seen it with her own eyes, she couldn't help but believe that there may be some truth to the gravity of imprinting.

"Nina, you'll just have to join us for Christmas," Lucy, his mother, grinned. She reached her hand out to rest on Nina's. They were seated in Jared's living room. She and Jared sat on the couch, Ray, his father, sat in a recliner to one side of them and Lucy in the loveseat to the other side.

"That's saying Jared doesn't hide her away from us again," Ray added, pointing a playful finger in their direction.

Jared tightened his grip around her shoulders, turning to press a kiss to her temple before chuckling, "I might just go back to keeping her to myself."

Nina shoved at him playfully, turning to his mother with a smile, "I'd love to."

She couldn't remember a time when she had spent more than half an hour with her own mother on Christmas, and in the more recent years, she had simply taken extra shifts at work and ignored the holiday all-together.

Their visit ended with a hug from Jared's mother that reminded Nina of those from Kim's mother, and she was again reminded of just how much damage had been done in the months leading up to that moment. She shut her eyes briefly as she soaked in the affection, trying to ignore the guilt it stirred up in her stomach.

They left with the promise of returning soon, and a part of Nina yearned to immerse herself even deeper into the world that created Jared.

And then they were back at Nina's, maneuvering through the shed in her backyard in search of Christmas lights. Their walk home the night prior combined with the excitement in his house had driven her to the decision to decorate her own for what seemed like the first time in a very long time. Jared did the majority of the work, stringing the lights along the small trailer, and Nina allowed her mind to wander as she watched him, only breaking concentration on occasion to tell him to do something differently- to which he would call her bossy every time.

He hopped down the steps as he finished, tossing a lazy arm over her shoulders and pressing a kiss to her temple as they stood back and admired the finished product.

"Thank you," Nina swallowed down a ball of emotions as she spoke, training her eyes on the front door in an attempt to not give herself away. Jared stared down at her with an eyebrow raised, his grip on her never faltering.

"Yeah, no, of course," he finally shrugged, shaking his head back and forth.

Nina inhaled deeply before turning, wrapping her arms around his torso and burying her face against him, allowing herself to indulge in all that he was. His body responded immediately, arms locking around her and his face coming down on top of her head. A large hand rubbed tender circles across her spine, and Nina found herself pleasantly forgetting the world around them for just a moment. If she tried hard enough, she could pretend they were just two regular teenagers who wanted to be around one another- no supernatural, no broken friendships- just Nina and Jared.

And then his spine went rigid and his head snapped up, and Nina craned her neck to see his face pointed towards the woods beyond her yard, eyes narrowing.

"Shit," he mumbled, shaking his head and bringing his attention back to her.

She raised an eyebrow.

"Redhead vamp," his nose curled as he spoke. He brought his hands to her upper arms, staring at her with an uncommon seriousness as he spoke, "go inside and stay inside. And for the love of God, do not decide to go on some random hike. Promise?"

Nina nodded, "Yeah, yeah, I promise."

He smiled, though it was strained. He moved quickly, leading her up the stairs and practically pushing her in the front door.

"I'll come get you for dinner later," he was rushing as he spoke once more, smiling as she nodded before pulling the door shut and tumbling down the stairs. In just a second, the world fell silent around Nina, and she leaned her head against the door as she realized just how strange life had become in just a few months. She exhaled and shut her eyes, thumping her head softly against the door for just a moment before standing up straight and wandering to her room.

Time spent alone was Nina's least favorite time.

She had never quite minded it before, sometimes even relishing in laying in her bed with the radio playing softly in the background as she allowed her thoughts and dreams to dance through her head; however, lately those thoughts all came racing back to Kim and Jared. Photographs of her and Kim littered her bedroom, the black walls serving as a directory through their friendship. And the pictures that didn't remind her of Kim reminded her of her father and what her family used to be before her mother blamed her for the loss of their favorite person and blamed the universe for leaving her with a child she had never really understood.

Nina sighed, shaking the thoughts from her head and plopping into bed. Her eyes flickered to her window, narrowing as she desperately tried to imagine Jared and the others barrelling through the woods as gigantic wolves and chasing after a vampire. She wondered at what point did she lose the last ounce of control she once held over her own life, and that thought then graduated to wondering if she had ever had any control of her life in the first place.

Another week passed in a blur as Nina was forced to settle into a life without Kim's friendship. While she searched for her eyes in every class and passing glance in the hallway, Kim held her composure, further proving the seriousness of their situation. While Nina understood that she had broken girl-code to the extreme, she couldn't help but hope that Kim would come around and forgive her- they would be leaving for holiday break at the end of that day, and she couldn't imagine having to wait until the New Year to see if Kim may even look at her again.

"You hear that over there?" Paul cocked his head towards Jacob Black's table, food tumbling out of his mouth as he spoke.

"Jesus, Paul," Embry chuckled, pulling his own food closer to him.

Embry had silently filled the empty seat at their lunch table from Kim's absence, making it seem more real. Nina could only assume that Kim had found a permanent lunch place in the library or a teacher's classroom.

"Oh, get over it," Paul sneered, slapping the table between them and pointing his chin in the same direction, "kid's talking about how shitty he feels today. And look at the sweat pouring right off of him," he chuckled, nodding as he bit into his sub.

Nina's curiosity got the best of her, and she followed in Embry's wake as he looked in Jacob's direction. She nearly cringed at his disheveled appearance, his messy ponytail slicked with sweat.

"I hope he comes and whips your ass into shape," Jared smirked.

Paul's eyes narrowed at him, "Yeah? And what if he doesn't want you as his beta? Won't be so tough then, will ya?"

"Beta?" Nina finally spoke up, an eyebrow raising.

Jared spared only a moment to glare at Paul for a moment before facing her, wiping at his mouth with a napkin as he began to speak.

"In a pack, you've got your alpha," she nodded along, "and he's got a second-in-command, that's his beta."

"The 'b' really stands for bitch, that's why Jared's so good at it," Paul snorted out laughter, his lunch entirely gone by then.

"Feel free to step up to the plate whenever you think you can handle it," Jared smirked back at him, "but hurry up, it's getting a little tiring being better than you at everything," he shrugged smugly.

"Oh, congrats on your eyes working better than everyone else's, what a cool superpower to rub everyone's nose in," Paul rolled his eyes as he spoke, shoving away at his discarded, and untouched, napkin.

Nina rolled her eyes as the two continued back and forth. Across from her, Embry caught her eyes with a twinkle of mischief.

"Five bucks says they take this all the way to Em's."

Nina quirked a grin, her eyes flicking between Jared and Paul for a moment before coming back to Embry, narrowing as she nodded her head.

"You're on."

Nina groaned as she hopped into the cab of Paul's truck, Embry immediately following and sandwiching her between himself and Paul. Jared hopped into the bed, slapping at the roof as Paul began driving. And through the back window, he and Paul were still arguing.

As Paul haphazardly pulled into Emily's driveway, Nina rolled her eyes once more and handed Embry a five-dollar bill. He tucked it carefully into his pocket and smirked at her before following Paul to the treeline, whooping along the way.

"What was that about?" Jared asked, jumping down from the bed of the truck and grabbing a hand of hers. He began leading them to Emily's front porch, taking extra time to press down each step in the snow for Nina to walk in herself.

"You and Paul couldn't stop fighting like kids, so you fought me out of five-bucks," Nina chuckled. Jared picked her up on the last step, turning to place her on the porch and bringing them to eye-level with one another.

"Awh, poor Nina," he crinkled his nose, making a playful face at her. She mirrored his mannerisms, jutting her face forward dramatically. "I'm sure I'll make it up to you somehow," he chuckled, bringing his lips to press a kiss on her nose.

"You better," Nina mumbled. She pouted a lip as they began towards the door, and in just a second, Jared had caught the pouted bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, tugging at it gently and releasing. She laughed, swatting at his hand and attempting to shut the door on him. They were giggling at one another as they both finally entered the house, kicking off their shoes on the mat and meeting Emily with smiles.

"I think today's the day, Sam," Jared called out. Sam turned from his spot in the living room, eyebrows raising with intrigue. He stood up quickly to face Jared, leaning forward on the back of the couch.

"We'll have to keep watch over his place…" he murmured, perhaps more to himself than Jared. He lifted his head, "I'll let Billy know."

And just as they had predicted at lunch, Jacob Black phased that night. It was convenient, being that they wouldn't be returning to school for two weeks, but Jared had told Nina later that weekend that he wasn't taking the transformation too well.

"The kid's a wreck," he had told her, shaking his head.

They were walking along the Third Beach trail in search of Strawberry Bay Falls.

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't want it, he keeps thinking about trying to run from it all- before, of course, we all hear it in his head and remind him that he can't."

"It sounds like a prison sentence when you say it like that," Nina mumbled. She had learned over their time together that she could whisper and he'd still hear it.

"It's all about how you look at it," he shrugged. From the corner of her eye, she watched as he began to approach her. "When you end up with a super cool imprint like mine, it doesn't seem too bad anymore."

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, stopping them in the middle of the path and pressing a kiss to her forehead. She giggled as she pushed at his chest, rolling her eyes dramatically.

"I'm sure there's some downfalls, even then."

She resumed walking, casting a smile over her shoulder at him.

"I haven't found one yet."

Nina hummed a response, grinning up at him as he fell into step alongside her. He had insisted that she wouldn't be allowed to go on any more hikes without accompaniment from a pack member, at least until the redhead had been caught, and she doubted she could get through an entire hike with Paul without wanting to murder him.

"And," he continued, his face twisting with distaste, "he won't stop thinking about this girl from Forks- Bella Swan."

"Now stop," Nina shoved at his shoulder, "wasn't it Embry who said all you do is think of me?"

"Well yeah, you're my imprint," he rolled his eyes as though it were the most obvious thing, "this is just some girl-" he hesitated, his eyebrows furrowing. "Actually, no," he shook his head, "it wouldn't be nearly as bad if that was all she was."

Nina raised an eyebrow.

"Apparently-" he paused, his nose crinkling. He shook his head, his face remaining unpleasant, "Apparently, she used to date one of the Cullens before they left."

Nina bit at her lip, her eyes falling to their boots in the snow as she thought.

"I don't get it, what's the problem?"

Jared stared down at her as though she was speaking in a different language.

"The Cullens are vampires, Nina."

Her lips parted with surprise before she had even fully registered his words.

"And she's…"

"Completely human."

"Oh God."

The very thought of someone like her dating a vampire seemed just as disturbing as the fact of their existence in itself; she was still wrapping her head around the fact that they were living in a fairytale book gone wrong.

Beside her, Jared laughed, nodding his head.

"Glad we're on the same page about this."

"Wait," she shook her head, "so why is Jacob Black thinking about her?"

Jared snorted, "He's got some puppy dog crush on her."

When Nina raised an eyebrow again, he held up his hands in defense, "That's as much as I know! The kid's obsessed- that's half of why he's so against joining the pack."

"Between Bella Swan and the redheaded vampire, I'm not sure how you manage to still only think of me on patrol," Nina chuckled.

"Maybe the redhead will eat Bella Swan and they'll both be out of our hair."

"Jared!" She swatted at him, "that's awful." Despite her words, she laughed at his morbidity, shaking her head at him as he cackled.

They poked and laughed at one another as they finished the short trek to Strawberry Bay, and Nina found her heart racing with anticipation as the falls came into view. She grinned sideways at Jared as she felt his eyes on the side of her face- he always stared when her heart rate picked up.

"This is amazing," Nina breathed. They stepped out onto the snow-covered sand, and her mind was a million miles away as her eyes fixated on the frozen falls. A curtain of ice trailed down the entirety of the rocks, and she could just imagine the way it would photograph with the sun streaking against it. She spared only a smile over her shoulder as she hurried towards the falls, though she could feel Jared's presence as he followed behind.

She took her time working her way along the falls, paying great attention to the details of the shots as well as her footing on the rocks beneath the snow- she could only imagine Jared's reaction if she were to fall.

Even as she moved and captured her images, he remained silent, though she never felt his eyes leave her as she went, and she appreciated his- shockingly- quiet presence.

It wasn't until she had let her camera fall to her side that he finally spoke, moving to join her beside the frozen falls.

"I've never seen this part of the coast," he commented, turning slightly to face the ocean. The sky was surprisingly clear for December.

"I've never been here before either," she shrugged. She followed suit and faced the water, inhaling. The salty breeze was muted slightly by the snow, but she still welcomed the way it tickled her lungs.

"I'd never seen a mountaintop until I went with you either." He was still looking out to the water as he spoke, but he tossed an arm over her shoulders and brought her against his side.

She hummed a response but kept her eyes on the icy whitecaps.

"I'd never seen a lot of things until you, really," he shrugged. She felt the flush creeping up her neck and was thankful for the windchill to disguise it.

"I'm really glad I found you." The sincerity of his words brought a lump to her throat, and she swallowed it harshly, struggling to keep her eyes facing forward.

"I wouldn't exactly say you found me," she finally mumbled, shaking her head as her cheeks grew warm, "you knew who I was."

"Yeah, but I never knew who you would be to me."

Nina was sure Jared could tell the difference between wind-bitten cheeks and the blush that devoured her cheeks in that moment, and if it weren't that, he was certainly able to hear her heart as it ricocheted about her chest cavity.

"I definitely didn't see it coming either," she admitted, shaking her head.

"Well either way," he pressed a kiss to her temple, "I'm sure glad it did."

Since Nina had first seen Paul and the redheaded vampire crashing through the woods just off the side of Emily's house, she had been doing her best to take in the supernatural for what it was, which, unfortunately and fortunately, was then a part of her world. She had grown rather accustomed to the sporadic patrol schedules, the large amount of food the boys would eat at every meal, the temperature at which their bodies ran, and even their gargantuan size. She knew that very little of what passed through Jared's mind belonged to him, as it was for the others as well, and she knew that they could all hear most things she said throughout the school day, even if they were across the building from her.

What she hadn't been prepared for, however, was Jacob Black and all that his addition to the pack would bring.

They met just before Christmas. It was the first time he had successfully phased back and agreed to embrace some aspect of pack-life, and he was joining them for a Christmas Eve lunch at Emily's.

"Emily…" Sam entered the house, tucking his chin down in a playful manner as he smiled. She raised an eyebrow. "Jacob's going to be joining us for lunch."

She glowed in response, her shoulders flexing upwards as she smiled, scurrying to a cabinet and taking out another plate.

Nina had sat up and peered over the back of the couch as another set of footsteps came up the stairs, and she watched in awe as he ducked beneath the doorway to enter. He stood even taller than Sam, and he wore a scornful glare across his face- Nina pursed her lips. She watched him analyze the house for a moment more before plopping back down to her previous position on the couch.

Her head sat in Jared's lap, her feet resting on the arm of the couch, crossed at the ankles. He had previously been stroking her hairline as a football game played on the television, and his hand resumed its habitual caress as she settled back into his embrace.

"Any time that you need something… a place to sleep, a warm meal-" Sam paused, his voice carrying in their direction, "a friend or a brother. You can come here."

Jacob grumbled something too low for Nina to hear, but Jared rolled his eyes dramatically and Paul narrowed his eyes in the younger boy's direction.

He was relatively quiet as they ate their lunch, and Nina noted the fact that he ate no less than any of the others. He sat beside Embry, and she found herself watching the two interact- Jared having told her of how strained their relationship had been since Embry first phased. At one point, he mumbled something to Embry about Quil- the third member to their previous trio- but Nina's hearing was nowhere near strong enough to pick up the full sentence.

Jared, Jacob, and Sam left shortly after lunch for patrol. Paul followed them out, mumbling complaints of having to go home for Christmas Eve to be with his father and their visiting relatives.

The more time spent with him, the more Nina appreciated Embry's membership in the pack; he was playful like Jared but more polite and reserved than the others, which was often refreshing after a full meal with the whole pack. She was unsure of how the dynamics would continue to change if and when the pack grew again, which Embry had spent the afternoon speaking of.

"I'm telling you! Nina-" he turned to her, a hand gesturing, "you see Quil at school too, don't you think he's getting bulkier?"

Emily faced her, an eyebrow raised.

"I…" Nina shrugged, "I don't know, I never really look at him."

"Yeah yeah, eyes just for Jared, whatever," he waved a hand towards her as he resumed his one-sided debate with Emily. "I'm telling you, Quil's gonna be next, and then the trio is back together." He grinned proudly, crossing his arms over his chest and nodding.

"I hope so," Emily shrugged a shoulder, "maybe then Mr. Grumpy pants will smile."

"Jacob?" Embry raised an eyebrow, shaking his head, "doubtful." He rolled his eyes and leaned onto the counter, his eyes moving between Nina and Emily. "The only things that would make him smile is if Sam lifted the gag order, he was magically un-wolfed, and Bella Swan suddenly loved him."

"Who is this Bella Swan?" Emily asked.

"She's some girl from Forks who dates vampires," Nina finally spoke, her nose wrinkling with distaste.

Emily raised an eyebrow, "she dates vampires?"

Embry snorted, "Yeah, pretty messed up, huh?"

Later that evening, Embry volunteered to walk Nina home. They walked in silence, and Nina was grateful for the time to admire the snow as it fell- it seemed only appropriate for it to snow on Christmas Eve. They had spent dinner with Emily, the house seeming strangely quiet with Jared, Paul, and Sam.

The reservation, up until that point, had been beautifully quiet, the snow muffling most sounds and the majority of houses already closed up for the night.

And then a truck, louder even than Paul's, began roaring down the street.

Nina looked to Embry with a raised eyebrow, and he narrowed his eyes as it turned onto the road they were walking on. He stopped walking, staring at the headlights, and Nina followed suit, only turning her face away from the beams.

"I don't believe it," Embry mumbled, shaking his head. He nudged Nina's elbow and began walking, ducking his head down low as she moved alongside him.

"Who is it?"

The truck was almost to them. Nina could see the red paint and could hardly hear her own thoughts over the screeching and groaning of its engine.

"Bella Swan, who else?" Embry rolled his eyes as he spoke.

"What is she doing here?"

"What do you think she's doing here?"

Nina thought for a moment. The truck slowed down as it was passing them, and she looked up long enough to catch sight of two occupants in the cab before it sped up and blew past them down the road.

"Who was with her?"

Embry shook his head slowly, his head still craned to watch the truck as it turned at the end of the street. As though a thought were confirmed, he curtly nodded once and brought his eyes back to the road in front of them.

"Quil." He spoke bitterly, though matter-of-factly, and Nina watched the way his jaw flexed. They were silent for the remainder of the walk to her house, and she quietly thanked him before hurrying up the front steps and stomping the snow off on the landing.

She thought of Bella Swan and Quil for the majority of her night before bed, yet despite all the thought that she put into the situations surrounding them, she was still painfully unaware of all the more chaos that Bella Swan would bring to their lives in the coming months.