A Message From Mann Co. Books:

Dear readers, after a legal battle with our titular character, we settled on allowing him to insert his input in the story, wherever he pleases. Whenever it happens, it will appear like this:

[Readers! Saxton Hale here to teach you a lesson! This is why you don't give too much independence to your divisions! If I had it my way, I would erase all this boring stuff and cut right into the action parts every time! But these insufferable writers say 'this is not how you write a story'! 'Bullshit', I say! But until I get full legal rights to this story, you will have to slog through long uninteresting sequences where nothing happens, and even when you get to the good parts, they'll still be boring, and short too! I am sorry you have to read this, viewers! Until I can get control over this story, try not to jump off the roof out of pity for this sad excuse of a book, and I'll do my best to entertain you when I can!]

You may see traces of our character's influence sprinkled from now on throughout the story, off-brackets. Mann Co. Books reserves their right as a separate division to edit stories to their authors liking. Unlike Mann Co. Comics, we prefer telling Saxton Hale's thrilling adventures as they really were. Without further ado, let us begin.

Saxton Hale certainly knew where he was. In the god damned sky, free falling towards the ground!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

He screamed into the air as he fell. By all means, Saxton was not new to free falling from great heights, he did it all the time. Even at times when he was caught unprepared, he knew what he had to do to stay safe [See Saxton Hale's dramatic confrontation with nemesis and former mentor, Charles Darling, in "Bidwell's Big Plan" to find out more! It's also a much better told story than this one!]

Right now, however, not only was it night time, but it was also stormy, making it even harder to see clearly. Saxton squinted his eyes. It just might be a forest he's falling into. And if it's a forest…

SAXTON HALEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

He shouted into the night sky as he changed his positioning into a diving pose. He knew what he had to do. As he descended, he could just barely spot a tall tree right below him. Saxton focused and readied his hands. When he got to the tree, he quickly grabbed onto a thick branch, swinging on it like a monkey. Any normal man who would have tried something extreme like this would have his arms torn off. But Saxton Hale is no normal man! With staggering elegance, he slid down the tree trunk until he reached the ground. "Hohoho, that trick almost dislocated my shoulders! How foolish of me to slack on the eight-hundred pushups this year!" He said to himself, rubbing his joints. He stepped forward, and a cry was heard.

"NO!"

Saxton looked forward and saw several strange things happening at once. A person the same size as he is, with a deformed head and muscular hairy body, had a dissolving golden dust cloud the shape of a woman in his hands. In front of him, a normal young boy stood with a look of fear and grief on his face. Next to him, another boy was lying unconscious with… Horns on his head? And were those hoofs? Wait a second. That big person had hooves too! And that head wasn't deformed. It was a bull head!

Saxton realized he was talking out loud when both parties turned around to look at him. He waved. "Am I interrupting some sort of low-budget movie cutscene? I'd love to fund it!" He gave a thumbs up.

The bull-headed man roared and charged him with his horns, an act that sparked joy in Saxton's heart. "This is how we play this game, huh?" He laughed and ran towards the charging bull. As they were about to collide, Saxton dived between his legs, legs kicking forward like a donkey with inverted hind legs. The kick made the monster do a backflip on the ground, rolling on the dirt. As it tried to get up, Saxton grabbed it by its hands and threw it on a tree, almost making the trunk collapse. "You're pretty heavy! I'll give you that!" He laughed as he casually walked towards it. The monster surprised him when it recovered faster than he expected and kicked him by his knees, causing him to fall to the ground. "Oh, you tricky-" The monster turned around and delivered a punch to his jaw, making him the one flying back this time. He fell next to the boy watching the fight happening, scaring him. "Ohhh… he got me good." He touched his jaw and turned to the side to look at the boy. "Hey kid, what's your beef with this chump?"

The boy still in a mix of grief and confusion, but he managed to blurt out, "It made my mom disappear- Look out!" He was wise enough to roll away, but Saxton was still distracted as the beast charged at him again, striking his chest with its sharp horns and smashing him against a tree, cracking the trunk. "Argh!" Saxton groaned. The bull had its horns impaled all the way through in his thorax, just inches above his lungs. With force, Saxton pushed the monster's head away until one horn exited his body, but another was still stuck inside, and that's when the bull-man started hitting his face with its strong hands, forcing Saxton to defend himself instead of continuing to push the beast. As the monster towered over him, its body large enough to hold the Australian down, Saxton knew he was in for another Yeti-like fight, and gritted his teeth in preparation for the hours-long wrestling match. But fate had other plans, and the boy jumped on the monster's back. He grabbed its horn and started pulling it with great force until he managed to rip it out.

The monster screamed and pulled its head out of Saxton's chest, shaking its back until the boy flew off of it a few meters away, rolling in the grass until he hit a rock. When the monster turned around to face Saxton again, the latter was already up and charged it, using his forearm like a warthog, hitting the beast's stomach and pummeling its body backwards. Saxton was approaching the dazzled monster, fists clenched, ready to finish him, but then he looked behind him. The boy was hurt, clearly in pain, but still awake, and he was looking at the horned menace with hatred in his face, still holding its bloody horn. Saxton looked again at the recovering monster and then back at the boy, and sighed. "Sorry kid, but this is your fight." The boy's eyes widened.

"What?!"

Saxton went to him and helped him get up, not letting the two gaping bleeding holes in his chest bother him too much. "This sonovabitch took your mother. You're the one who needs to make him pay." He pointed at the horn. "Want a tip? Use this." The monster growled as it got up, preparing to charge again. The boy stammered, fear creeping into his face.

"B-b-but-"

"No buts. Just do it. I believe in ya. Oh, and another tip?" The monster charged at them. "Jump left." And with this, Saxton bounced up in the air, forcing Percy to quickly react and do as told as the monster charged through nothing and hit its head on a tree. Percy looked behind him, but the strange strongman was nowhere to be found, and instead the Minotaur turned around to look at him, eyes full of rage. Now, it didn't even charge at him again, it started to run like a crazed maniac. Percy panicked, but he knew he had to act. He gripped the horn with both hands, one leg forward and one leg to his right, and readied himself. The Minotaur lunged at him, and with a hurt body, Percy jabbed the horn forward and dived the side, making the Minotaur quite literally fall on its own sword. With a final animalistic cry of pain, the Minotaur crumbled into yellow dust. Percy panted as the muscular man dropped from a tree next to him. "See? I knew you had it in you, boy." In response, he promptly fell to the ground from the fatigue.

"Save… Grover…" he managed to mutter, before fainting.

Saxton wiped a bit of the blood that got on his chin. "Well, you did enough for today. I'll get you and your goat-friend to safety." He looked down on his bloody chest. "And I'll get these two inconveniences plugged as well." He muttered as he grabbed both kids and put them on his shoulders. As he walked towards to what looked like structures, he had a strange feeling inside him. Why did he let the boy get the kill? It was warming up to be one of the most enjoyable fights Saxton had in a long time. It would have been better with a satisfying finish, but… that boy looked special, for some reason. When he looked at him, Saxton felt that he deserved to earn his worth, and get revenge at his mother's demise.

[Let it be known that all of this is pure fiction! SAXTON HALE never doubts himself! This stands true for any further feelings of guilt, shame, or any other self-deprecating and/or personal negative emotion that is attributed to me down the line!]

Saxton shook his head. There'll be time for mixed feelings later. Right now, he has the greet the young teenagers standing guard at a camp's gate, equipped with medieval armor and spears. They stared at him in bewilderment and aimed their spears.

"S-stop! Identify yourself!" They yelled. Saxton smiled at them.

"'Ello there, youngsters! Don't mean no harm now." He presented the two kids like presents. "I bring you two brave boys needing medical attention. And I could use a few plasters, too, haha!" The guards looked at each other and ringed a bell, likely an alarm. Reinforcements came in, dressed similarly to the guards. A few of them had stretchers, and Saxton helped them place them and let them run back. He stepped forward, and everyone aimed their spears at him. He frowned. "Come on now, I do deserve to make sure they arrive safe and sound, don't I?"

One of the guards spoke up. "You must wait for one of our directors, Chiron."

"I'm already here, relax. Lower your weapons everyone." If that bull-man wasn't enough, now Saxton saw a person with the body of a horse galloping towards them. He smiled again, reaching his arm for a handshake. "I take it you're the head honcho here? I really do mean no harm, but I must know where am I and what is this place."

The horseperson looked at him with a thoughtful face. "We heard a lot of loud noises earlier. Some similar to yours. Were you responsible?"

Saxton nodded. "Yes, indeed, I was fighting this rather rude fellow with a bull for a head. He put up quite a fight!" He chuckled, patting on his chest holes. "Speaking of, I'd appreciate this getting patched up, unless you want to see the thrilling race between my blood-loss and blood-clot!"

The horseperson had an impressed look on his face. "From your description, it sounds like you were fighting the Minotaur. Did you defeat it?"

Saxton's face distorted as he struggled to answer. "I… fought this minotaur of yours, yes, I beat it up pretty good, but…" He gritted his teeth and knew he had to overcome his pride, just this once. "That kid, the human one, he got the credit for finishing that freak."

Chiron studied the man's face. He was saying those words with emotional pain, and it was clear there was more to the story, but now was not a time to discuss that. "Very well. My name is Chiron, and I am the activities director at this place, Camp Half-Blood. May I ask who you are?"

Saxton put his hands on his hips, giving a big smile, his pride returning to his face at the request for his identity. "The name's Saxton Hale! Daring Australian billionaire, President and CEO of Mann Co., and the star of many comics series!" He flexed his chest muscles, then realized the blood is hiding them, and instead flexed his arms. Chiron looked at him confused.

"I am sorry, but I have simply never heard of you, your company, or your comics."

Saxton's smile faded. "Oh, yes. I should have thought about that. Mann Co. probably doesn't exist in your world sadly. Let me tell ya, you're missing out on some of the best quality products in the world, all for low and comfortable prices! And don't let anyone tell you they are prone to spontaneous combustion, they're a stinking liar."

Chiron blinked, even more confused. "…Our world? Are you from a different one?"

"Yes. Yes, that would be correct. Long story short, I built a teleportation device, something went wrong, and I landed here. And, lacking any knowledge of how to get back…" He spread his arms. "I am offering my humble services to you, with the enormous generosity of them being entirely free! Terms and conditions apply." Saxton never offered any of his services for free, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Chiron took a deep breath. As eccentric as this man's personality may have been, he was a rich person first and foremost, and his expected greedy nature and competitive attitude to life would surely get on many people's nerves. "I am willing to accommodate you at our camp. We will exchange stories about our worlds, and I hope you will be able to help us properly with our troubles, whatever they may be. But remember that you are a guest, and we are letting you enter out of my own kindness. There will be several rules, customs and traditions you will have to follow to gain our respect. I do not want to insult you, but you must know that excessive arrogance to our laws will not be accepted. Do accept these requests?"

Hale gritted his teeth, thinking about it. He felt slightly offended, but he knew where the centaur was coming from. "I understand, good sir. I will do my best."

Chiron sighed. That's as good as an answer as he's going to get from him. "Very well. Let's get your wounds fixed. While we have many things to discuss, I think we will have much clearer minds if we all go to sleep and talk about them in the morning."

Saxton nodded. "Right then! After you!" Chiron watched him walk through the gate, expecting the invisible barricade to stop him, but it had no such effect. They walked together to the infirmary, where he got his injuries cleaned and bandaged. After hearing about the existence of ambrosia and nectar, he negotiated for him to acquire some, despite the medics warning him that it can kill him. They gave him a small serving, and he quickly ate it, licking his lips. "This thing is amazing! It both heals you and reminds you of fresh homemade vegemite! But I can also see what you're saying. They certainly give a burning feeling inside your body, and not the good kind! I'll make sure not to overdose on these babies." He thanked them and walked to the main cabin, where Chiron prepared a bed for him.

"Good night, Mr. Hale, I hope we will have a productive discussion in the morning."

"Absolutely! I'm looking forward to it!" Saxton raised his thumb at him and gave a friendly wink, then went to bed. It was then that the mighty Saxton Hale finally rested, ready to wreak havoc on this new world as soon as he woke up.

Saxton Hale allowed himself to spend a few more hours sleeping than normal. Normally, on a standard work day, he'd wake up early, seeing it as the most efficient way to get work done. But if he ever went on to fight something big and strong, he thought he could deserve a bit more resting time. And if (on the rare occasion that it happened) he got injured in the process, well, no one could blame a champion for sleeping off his wounds for a little bit more time, just to recover from that annoying blood loss, right?

And while Saxton would never tell this to anyone, there was another thing bothering him that night, making sleeping harder: His prowess in combat was embarrassed. The Minotaur proved how rusty his fighting skill truly become, and it showed. He hasn't fought a worthy opponent for a long time, much less something the likes of the monster he encountered. At least he knew that he was still strong enough to win that fight. But he didn't, he instead did something that he never believed he could do: Hiding and letting someone else finish the job for him. God damn it all, Saxton! What's so special about that damn boy? Saxton never felt like this about someone. Everyone is always naturally under the strongest man in the world! Why should a little child take his rightfully-earned glory? But wait, he is the strongest man in his world. This is a new world. What if there's stronger enemies in this world? Enemies stronger than him?! Inconceivable! and yet-

"BRAIN! YOU'RE GONNA STOP HAVING THESE INFIDEL THOUGHTS IN THE NEXT FIVE SECONDS, OR YOU'RE GETTING KICKED OUT OF THIS THICK SKULL!" Saxton called out loud, pointing at his head. The disturbing thoughts silenced, for now, and he could finally get some sleep.

When he woke up, he felt fresh and unconcerned about the last day's events. He drank strong coffee, did some morning stretches, and came out to the porch to meet with Chiron who waited for him.

"G'day, mate!" He cheerfully greeted the centaur, sitting down and placing his legs on the table.

Chiron closed the book he was reading and turned to him. "Good morning, Mr. Hale. I'll have to ask you to put your legs off the table."

Saxton raised his hand in apology, doing as requested. "Sorry about that, old chap! Acting like this is my office, how rude. I should know better." Chiron gave him a small smile. Saxton knew how to please people when he wanted to. He mastered that kind of beaming expression to put on his face that could conquer the heart of anyone who talked with him. It helped hide the fact that he thought everyone else was below him.

Chiron cleared his throat. "How are your injuries?"

Saxton pat his chest directly where the bandages were. "Healing well, thanks for asking! Don't be worrying about them anytime soon, mate. I've had worse."

Chiron nodded. "I'm sure. Now, to the matter at hand. I'd prefer it if you started talking about your situation first."

Saxton rubbed his hands. "No problemo! Do you want me to tell you my biography? My company's history? My country's? My world's? Or just who I am, what I do, and how I came to be in this prickly situation?"

"Heh, I'd be satisfied with just the basics, yes. I'm sure we can talk about the rest in another time…" Chiron took a sip out of the tea he had on the table. "…As long as you're honest about it."

Saxton tapped on the table, thinking. "Yes, obviously. Honesty is my middle name." He leaned back in the chair. "'Just the basics', huh? Where do I begin…"

Saxton proceeded to give him a rundown of his identity, occupation, and the manner he came to get teleported to this universe. Chiron looked at him as he talked, listening attentively. It seemed like he wasn't just consuming the words Saxton said, but everything else about him as well. Chiron studied his body language, his way of talking, his facial expressions, his gestures and movements. Saxton made a mental note to himself not to exaggerate or lie too much to the wise centaur. When he finished, he coughed. "I must say, my throat has been going dry since that coffee. Do you lot have any good liquor in here?"

Chiron nodded in refusal. "In Camp Half-Blood we have a strict no alcohol policy. If our director, the god of wine Dionysius can follow it, you can too."

Saxton opened his mouth to protest, but decided not to say anything. If he were to get this person's trust, he will have to do as he says, at least for now. "I see. I'll comply with your rules, then."

"You don't have to, you know."

Saxton raised an eyebrow. "Say again?"

"I will not be forcing you to stay at this camp. I am not blind, Mr. Hale. I can tell you're uncomfortable here. This new setting, strict framework… I think I'm correct in assuming you will have problems connecting with everyone here. That's understandable, your personality, attitude, and lifestyle are… radically different than ours is, to say the least." Chiron finished his tea. "But it doesn't have to be this way. There's an entire world out there. Granted, a world a few decades forward than yours is, but that shouldn't pose a challenge for you. You could start a temporary new life – it is New York after all – until your employees manage to open the portal again and bring you back. You're strong, smart, you got everything you need to succeed. So why stay here where you have none of those opportunities?"

Saxton couldn't hide the stunned look on his face. Why didn't he think about it? Chiron was right – he could just start a new life here. He could easily become a rich CEO of a famous company. He could easily make a few rare animals go extinct. He could easily-

Wait, that's what he already did. His entire life has been dedicated to that exact hedonistic style. And undoubtedly, it was very enjoyable. But he didn't waste money on that teleporter for no reason. He did it because he was starting to get bored of his normal life (and because all those other benefits Engineer talked about, but that's redundant). It was fun, yes, but… was it really worth doing it again? It would be sort-of new. He wouldn't be born into a prestigious family with an Australium spoon in his mouth, then inherited an already profitable company this time. He'd start from scratch. From zero to hero! He could see himself becoming famous again! In this new age of information humanity is experiencing, he would be a superstar! But…

Chiron smirked as he saw Saxton's face plunging into a thoughtful frown. "Considering it?"

Saxton straightened his look to Chiron. "You know how to make a tempting offer to someone, pal. You'd make a great trader." Chiron laughed.

"Perhaps. But you would make a better one."

Saxton slowly nodded. "Yes I would. And my mind tells me this is what I should do. I was a modern legend in my own planet. I could be one here as well…" he looked around the camp. "Or maybe not. You didn't tell me about your world, my friend. I am curious about all this mythology mumbo-jumbo."

Chiron laid his hands on the table. "Yes. First, I didn't get a chance to say it, but your world sounds very interesting. I would like to know more about it in the future. As for mine, there is so much things to tell you about our universe. I will try to make it brief."

Chiron then gave him a short, yet thorough summary of Greek mythology, why it is real here, and how the world's and the camp's affairs go on. Saxton listened with a fascinated stare as he talked. The Australian's world was certainly very unusual in itself: Abraham Lincoln invented stairs, Shakespearicles was the strongest writer who ever lived, a cursed eyeball of one his mercenaries came back to haunt them every Halloween. But this world was crazy in all other kind of ways. They had gods, monsters, heroes. These old ancient myths that Saxton read about once were real and alive here, and they posed a constant threat to humanity. A threat which these so-called "Half-Bloods" needed to protect from. He looked at the New York skyline, then back at the camp. He already knew how the business world worked. Wall-Street didn't change too much since "Bartleby The Scrivener". Nor, for that matter, exotic and dangerous animals. He could hunt them down just like he always did. But he was used to that. This world that Chiron described gave him something radically different. Different allies. Different enemies. Different starting conditions. The rewards he will receive here may not be as luxurious as he could get out there, but it's possible the experience will be a good enough reward by itself. It's an entirely new adventure to be explored.

"Maybe it's time for Saxton Hale to be reborn." Saxton looked at the rising sun.

"I beg your pardon?"

Saxton turned to Chiron. "I will stay in this camp. I will stand by your rules. And I will support you to the best of my ability, and you better believe your brumby ass it will be the best ya ever knew!" He pointed at him confidently.

Chiron chuckled. "Well, I got to personally know and train many legendary heroes across the years. Maybe you can join them."

Saxton snorted. "Heh, maybe, yeah…" He put his hands on the table. "But that boy I save- I mean, helped, deserves much more of your attention than me. A word of advice, mate! When Saxton Hale tells you someone's special, he isn't lying! Oh, how is he by the way? He took quite a beating back there."

"He's recovering well. Don't worry about him. I am already watching him for a long time by now. I recognize the potential he holds within him. And I will guide him through it with as best knowledge available to me."

Saxton nodded in agreement. "Well now! What now?"

Chiron sighed, knowing that the next segment will be difficult. "Now you will have to meet with Dionysus, god of grape-harvest, wine, madness, parties, religious ecstasy, theater, and director at Camp Half-Blood. We usually call his Mr. D. And Hale? I am saying this with all my kindness, but please do not be cavalier towards him."

Saxton had an offended look on his face. "C'mon, what do ya take me for, a savage? I have not disrespected you, have I? If I did, do mention, but I will show the same amount of respect towards this god of yours, and even more!"

Chiron smiled. "Well, respect is not just being nice towards someone, it's about not being arrogant. Saying 'this god of yours', for example."

Saxton grunted. He always tried to be a well-mannered person, but allowed himself to be pompous as he wanted due to his physical and economical status. Here he needs to play by different rules if he wanted to get around. "You're right, sorry. I'll watch my mouth then."

"Good. Then he's supposed to be arriving just about now."

As if on cue, Mr. D entered the porch. Saxton got up from his chair, smiling widely with his natural pearly-white teeth, giving a small bow and offering the grumpy god a handshake. "Pleasure to meet you, sir! Name's Saxton Hale. I have heard lots about your work. Your job certainly provides many of my greatest pleasures, which I am eternally grateful for." Hey, who said Saxton Hale is bad at flattery?

[No, really, who? Because you better get ready for that defamation charge, punk.]

Despite the warm greeting, it seemed not to have particularly impress Dionysius. "False compliments will get you nowhere, mortal. Especially with me." He sat down, motioning Saxton to do the same. "I do not need you to introduce yourself, I will discuss what I need to know with Chiron later."

"False compliments? Please, I do not compliment anyone unless they deserve it!" Saxton sat down, unfettered by the cold response. He knew Mr. D's type. He reminded him of those corporate people or world leaders that Saxton couldn't kill or buy to get out of his way. It wasn't his first rodeo dealing with a hostile figure of superior power, and it won't be his last. This is the kind of person that you really need to sit down and negotiate with. "There is not a single thing that you govern under your kingdom that I don't have stakes in! Grapes? I got farms that grow the sweetest harvests. Wine? I sell the most quality beverages known to men. Theater? I funded cultural halls of the highest order in the world. Religious ecstasy? Oh, I can promise you those cults I sold drugs to definitely felt some ecstasy, alright! Parties? You should have seen the ones I throw at my mansions! And madness…?" Saxton leaned in, raising his hat to show Dionysus the gleam in his eyes. "Well, you could say I'm a stubby short of a six-pack."

Mr. D couldn't hide the amused look on his face. "I see. But conversation topics aren't everything in the world. What can you offer to this camp?"

Saxton flexed his muscles. "For one, these guns! Need any monster beat up? I'm the Australian for the job!"

Mr. D wasn't someone to be impressed with physical strength, but he could tell a human that was a level above the rest when he saw one. "Hm, that's one nice reason, I suppose. But we already have Half-Bloods to do that, and it's good training for them too. What else?"

Saxton was tempted to say he's be an excellent role model, but he had to keep the pretense of a humble strongman. "I am also a dardy trainer! But I must warn you, I will have no mercy! In my class, there will be no shark biscuits! Boys and girls alike will have to draw their bodies to peak physical performance! I have experience preparing young children for a life of action! You want me to tell ya about Mann Co. Comics Issue #6, 'Girl's Adventure - Starring Saxton Hale'? It's quite relevant to what I'm talking about!" Saxton spoke fast and with excitement, channeling his salesman's soul into Mr. D's heart.

Dionysus's expression now had much less contempt than before. He looked slightly interested in Saxton's service. "You know how to make a good case for yourself… Perhaps you're not the brainless muscular fool I took you for. You will do all this without payment?"

Saxton's face contorted, just a little. "Yes! The experience will be more than enough as a payment." Oh, what cruel world is this where greed is discouraged? He would have to make sure later that the Soviet Union didn't win the cold war in this universe.

Mr. D looked at Chiron. The centaur was now even more impressed by Saxton's marketing skills. "What do you say? I'm personally still unsure, but do you think it is worth it to keep him around?"

"Most likely. I believe he will make a valuable addition to our staff. I will tell you about him more later, in private."

Mr. D turned to Saxton. "Well, I think it's settled then. Welcome to our faculty, Mr. Hale. Remember that you are on a short leash. Do not step out of your boundaries, or I will punish you personally." His voice almost had a hint of friendliness in it now. Saxton reached his hand again. "Sweet as! I'm glad to join you."

They both respectfully agreed to shake his hand now. "To begin with one rule, you're going to have to wear a shirt."

Saxton's smile faded. "What?"

"While your Australia-shaped chest hair is certainly… interesting, we have a code of conduct here at the camp. Walking around like that is indecent."

"Indecent? These kids run around slicing monsters; they can see a few thews!"

Mr. D rubbed his face. This was like arguing with a child. "You will wear a shirt, and that's final. Don't argue with me again."

Saxton sighed in defeat. "If it must come down to this. You have any for my size?"

A few minutes later, and he was wearing the largest Camp Half-Blood shirt they had. It was still far too small for him, his muscles bulged through it, and it definitely looked ugly against the rest of his brown attire. All of them knew that if he did any mild physical action, the shirt will tear. "I'll tell our tailors to make you something comfortable." Chiron promised him. "And since teachers are not required to wear matching shirts, I'll make sure they make it in the color pallet you seem to like."

"Thank you! Another thing I wanted to ask…" They both glanced at him. "How would you like me as a financial advisor for this camp? I could make this little grape-growing operation you got here into a real empire. Just ask all the farmers I helped prop up! I could even teach all the campers here some basic economics classes! Again, free of charge! Spreading capitalism across the universe is enough of a reward for me!"

Dionysus and Chiron looked at each other, sharing an equally concerned look. Economic prosperity and education are certainly good, but advised and taught by a ruthless billionaire who has no morals when it comes to making money literally hand over fist… The kind of corporation Hale could turn the camp into would be scary. "We will consider it." Chiron told him with an unsure voice. Hale wasn't even disappointed – not the first time a company was hesitant to merge with his'. They all come around eventually. No matter what universe it is, he knew money trumps over morals. "No worries! My offer stands indefinitely!" He saluted them off and went off his merry way, eager to meet every camper he can. [First impressions, folks – it's no laughing matter!]

The following days were rather rough for Saxton Hale. He found this fall from grace not as easy to adapt to as he hoped. Apparently, it was hard for an adult man who spends most of his time hunting wild animals and makes corrupt deals to relate to young teens who live life completely differently. His charisma was built to persuade diplomats, judges, lawyers, executives, and the various other ills that plagued the bureaucratic world, whether they were private or public sector. Back in his world, he was basically a cult leader. Here he was viewed like he was a misanthrope. It proved difficult to become liked by anyone. He could adapt, of course – but that would require learning a new set of problem-solving abilities, ones that don't rely on punching or bribing his way out of. He neglected his negotiation capabilities as Mann Co. became stronger and stronger, letting Pauling, Bidwell, and Reddy do most of the work, and now it came back to haunt him. "Develop better communication skills with little children", He wrote on his to-do list. Old habits die hard, and Saxton discovered this the hard way. Even his exercise classes were difficult to teach. The tasks he required were far too demanding.

[Who knew kids in the future would be such wimps? Can't even run for an hour straight without getting tired!] But worst of all, it was making him more disliked amongst the campers. This was a summer camp, not a boot one, and no one likes a strict trainer. He knew how much the campers whispered about hating him behind his back.

It was difficult to connect with that Percy Jackson as well. The boy was still fresh meat and adapting to this new setting himself, and Saxton was a little too extreme for him. Saxton brushed this off as just a kid needing to find his own place before making friends with strangers.

[This is really all too much self-serving pity for one day, so why don't we move on to the good parts?]

For it was Capture the Flag day, and Saxton knew all too well how that goes. From what his mercenaries reported, it was quite enjoyable to constantly steal top secret intelligence from the other team, or a flag in this case. But it wouldn't be fair for him to participate, of course, so when the Ares and Athena team ran off into the woods, he climbed a tree, watching the game unfold, and swinging from tree to tree to get a better angle or new sight. He came to a stop upon hearing a familiar voice. He looked down and saw Percy getting surrounded by kids from the Ares cabin, all with a similar malevolent looks on their faces.

"What have we got here?" Saxton revealed himself, sliding down the tree and startling everyone. The Ares cabin's counselor, Clarisse, looked at him with cautioned anger.

"N-None of your business, Hale!"

"A little help, please?" Percy spoke up, his hand bleeding from a slashing wound, his other hand holding a shield. Saxton nodded his head in disapproval.

"Bullying builds character. Sorry lad, but I'm not your babysitter. This is your fight." Percy groaned as the looks of fear from the Ares kids faded, and they kept attacking him. Clarisse stabbed his shield away, her spear's electric jolt making him drop it. "Come on, kid, you're better than this. How about you take a dip in the water behind you to freshen up?" Saxton yelled. Clarissa helped follow up that tip when she kicked Percy backwards into the water. Hale shook his head, disappointed. As the Ares kid laughed, he was about to step in to make sure they don't actually kill the poor kid, when something miraculous happened. Percy got up from the water, his eyes burning with passion. You could almost see the newfound strength surging through his body as he started blitzing through the five enemies, taking each of them down skillfully and finishing it up with breaking Clarisse's spear over his knee. "Magnificent form!" Saxton clapped, approaching him, not even noticing Percy's team winning the game behind him, causing everyone to cheer. "See, son? You always have it in ya! You just need to man up and pull it out. Though, I have a sneaking suspicion that water-" His face froze, and he suddenly started looking around, confusing Percy.

"Uh... Hale? What are you..."

"I know an unseen fella when I sense one." His eyes scanned the area suspiciously. "Show yourself!"

"Whoa, relax." The air shimmered behind Percy and Annabeth revealed herself, taking a cap off her head. "It's just me." Saxton's body calmed, his smile returning.

"Ah, forgive me, Miss Chase! I just have experience dealing with invisible foes back home." He looked at her hand. "My, is that a hat you use to become invisible? How uncomfortable, I sell watches that do that just as good! Shame I can't sell you one right now." Before she could process what he said, Percy turned around to her, upset.

"So what's the deal with you? You used me." They then started having a small argument because she used him as bait.

[Silly kids, being someone's pawn is how the world works! They'll understand that when they grow up.] Before he could give them this useful life advice, a loud growl was heard, silencing everyone. A large black hound with red eyes was standing on the rocks above, staring right at Percy. Chiron yelled an order, the campers drew their weapons, and Annabeth told Percy to run, but the hound reacted faster than everyone, leaping right over them, reaching its sharp claws to Percy's backside… and getting intercepted in the air by a massive jumping Australian. Saxton grabbed it by its lower belly, spinning both of them downwards until he strategically positioned it so the dog would fall on its back. He got up, fists raised, but the beast was hellbent on one target: Percy. It quickly recovered and slipped between Saxton's legs, claws aimed at Percy again. The hound managed to sink its frontal claws inside Percy's armor before Saxton grabbed it by its tail, swinging it around his head like it was a lasso and throwing it on a rock, the impact causing the pooch to die on the spot and melt into the rock as it was a shadow. He turned around, dusting off his hands. "That mongrel got put down. How are we doing back there?" He walked back to the campers, ignoring the many impressed looks he received. Annabeth inspected Percy's injuries.

"You're wounded. Quick, Percy, get in the water."

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not. Chiron, watch this."

Everyone looked in awe as Percy entered the water and started looking better immediately, his wounds closing up. Saxton stared at him in a curious eye. The way he healed resembled the effect of one of his mercenaries Medi-Gun. But what was causing… Oh, there's a symbol of a trident appearing over his head. And everyone is talking how it's important. And they're kneeling for him too? Well, when in Rome!

"Poseidon." said Chiron. "Earthshaker. Stormbringer. Father of Horses. Hail, Perseus Jackson, son of the sea god."

"I told ya that boy's special, mate."

After what happened that night, Saxton's relationship significantly improved with everyone. The new respect he gained by effortlessly slaying the hellhound helped him get closer to them. Since Mann Co. became a company that sells every kind of product on Earth, Saxton was invested in all industries. This let him find and discuss many conversation topics with children of every cabin. The age difference still was an obstacle in relating, but Saxton assured himself that he will learn modern youth culture soon enough. Even Dionysus himself started warming up to him, and Saxton enjoyed talking with him about various things, sometimes not even related to Mr. D's interests. Only Chiron was slightly difficult to have a conversation with, but not because he wasn't friendly, but because they didn't find many things in common.

[Don't be fooled, though! The road to becoming a Camp Casanova was still long and hard, and I did not suddenly become a loveable and trusted teacher like the other counselors were.] It was progress, and he was satisfied.

The only unfortunate thing was that his relationship with Percy Jackson worsened. They didn't have an argument or a fight, Percy simply became more depressed once he was revealed as the son of Poseidon. [Bah, kids! They don't know the value of getting famous overnight.] But this relationship was destined to improve too. In the meanwhile...

[Here, there's now a bunch of boring stuff happening in the setup. Percy gets called to the Big House, he is explained that there's a brewing war between Poseidon and Zeus, gets a quest from an oracle, told to go to Hades and get the bolt back, Grover and Annabeth join him, blah, blah, blah… Exposition, I tell you! Such a boring method of storytelling that just wastes the reader's time. Now, if all stories adhered to Saxton Hale's invention, "Explosition®", it would be a much, much better story! Sadly, this method has not been perfected yet, but I assure you Mann Co.'s top scientists are working on adapting this unique method on all forms of readable material. Until then, you'll probably want to skip-

Wait, actually, there's one part in that event that you should read!]

…"A trio." Percy said. "That'll work."

"Count me in." Saxton suddenly interrupted the conversation, moving all eyes on him. He chose to stay quiet throughout the discussion, preferring to listen instead. It was useful to learn how this world works and what problems plague it. "I'll help ya find the %$#head who swiped this lightning weapon."

Chiron frowned. "First, I must ask you to stop with this overt profanity. I understand that your national culture has a… very colorful vocabulary, but it is unacceptable. Second, I'm afraid you can't join them. Three is a sacred number, any more than that and it can endanger the quest's members' life or even fail the quest."

"Hm." Saxton stroked his moustache. "That's gonna be a problem."

"Yes, which is why it's best that you let them do this by themselves. Don't worry, they-"

"Hold ya horses, chief, I just might have an idea…"

Everyone looked at Saxton in curiosity as he walked back and forth on the porch. "Think, Hale, think! What was that spell that old Turkish, no, Iraqi man sold you? Hmmm…. Oh, yes!" You could almost see the lightbulb turn on above his head. He cleared his throat. "Now, my Latin isn't pretty, but…" He put a finger on his temple and closed his eyes, pulling the words out of his memory, and then began reciting a sentence in the ancient language. The rain started getting worse, and even more thunders erupted in the distance. Chiron moved around nervously.

"Ahem, Mr. Hale? Can I ask what you are…" Saxton raised a "stop" hand signal at him, closing his eyes and concentrating on saying the passage right. He gestured at the air in front of him. A small, deep-purple colored vortex started forming. After a few seconds, something started coming out of it. It was a twisted looking, leather-bound book with glowing eyes. In the center of the cover, there was circle of jagged teeth clutching… was that a cartoon-like bomb?

"Ey buddy, you want ta' wizard? Not the best place to summon him, but alright! Make it quick, eh?" A demonic sly voice came out of it. The book fell back inside the vortex, and it changed into a green color. Saxton stopped chanting and coughed a few times, smoke coming out of his throat.

"Now those words were SPICY! Don't ask me why I know Latin."

Around the camp, campers already prepared for a fight, donning their armor and weapons as they cautiously approached the sight. The vortex changed into a humanoid shape and grew larger until it became the size of a tree, and then it exploded in a cloud of lime smoke, throwing everyone on their knees with the shockwave.

"WHO DARES SUMMON MERASMUS THE MAGICIAN TO A FOREIGN- GAH!"

The wizard's body contorted in an unnatural way. Saxton got up, cleaning some of the dust on his body. Chiron and the rest of the campers stared in amazement at the tall man wearing a one-eyed ram skull, a suspiciously dress-like robe and a crooked staff that appeared floating in the air. Saxton was unfazed and waved at the hovering wizard. "G'day, witch!"

"S-Saxton Hale? Is that really you?" Merasmus asked in a pain-filled voice.

"The One and Only!" He put his fists on his hips in pride.

"What in Hell are you doin- INGAH!" Merasmus's limbs twisted, causing him further suffering.

"You don't look good, champ. What's going on?"

"Merasmus rarely practices cross-universal teleportation magic!" The wizard struggled to talk. "Curse the fool who invented this spell forcing me to travel worlds against my will. Make your demands fast, or we are all DOOMED!" He managed to raise his hands in the air for dramatization.

"Alright, alright. The kids here are going on a quest, and I want to join 'em. But there's a curse or something like that that causes bad things to happen if any additional member joins." Saxton talked casually, as if he has all the time in the world.

"Is that all? Why didn't you say so before?!" Merasmus reached into one of his satchels and pulled a scroll out of it. "BEHOLD! ANCIENT SUMERIAN PROTECTION SPELL!" He passed the scroll to Saxton via telekinesis. "Read this in close proximity to the other three members of the journey, and you all shall be protected from any fate-bound misfortune!" Even intense pain couldn't stop Merasmus from making a show of himself.

"Right, and will this Sumerian spell work on Greek myth heroes as well?"

Merasmus's face cringed. "YES! YES! IT IS INFLUENCED BY NEOLITHIC MINOAN BLESSINGS!" His voice cracked. "NOW RELEASE ME BACK INTO MY WORLD OR EVERYONE, WILL, DIE!"

"Just one last question, ma'am! Is there any chance you can bring me back with ya?" Saxton acted casual, but there was a sliver of hope in his voice.

"Hale… I can barely keep my own being here without collapsing… bringing you with me would only end in both of our demises…" The edges of Merasmus's body started to burn.

"All-right. Do you know anything about my machine's repair prog-"

"RELEASE ME, MORTAL!" Flames came out of Merasmus's facial orifices, nearly harming Saxton.

"Hale, do as asked please!" Chiron told him, his expression turning worried as the wizard's body began to glow.

"No time for chit-chat, I suppose." Saxton then said the Latin command to return Merasmus.

"GOODBYE, FOREVER!" Merasmus's voice echoed across the camp as the vortex appeared under him and sucked him in.

"Hey! If you ya want a reward, go to Miss Pauling and tell her Saxton sent you!" Saxton yelled into the vortex as it disappeared. "Let's hope he didn't hear that." He turned around grinning, noticing the shocked look on everyone's faces. "What?"

After explaining to Chiron and the rest of his future quest-mates how his mercenaries came to know Merasmus as an enemy, and how eventually Saxton turned him into a reluctant ally, Saxton reassured them that the dubiously-sane magician was reliable.

"Look, I'll square with you, he's an idiot. Possibly mentally defective. Absolutely deranged." Off to a good start. "But he's undeniably a good warlock. That's the best thing about him – his magic is very strong, but he's too dumb to use it properly. Luckily, I know how to manipulate him to get the job done for me when I need it." He raised the scroll. "And this, I'm most certain will!"

Chiron now looked indecisive. "So, everything he said about 'neolithic Minoan blessings' is correct?"

"Oh yes. He's six-thousand years old. Old fool doesn't share his secrets though, so you have to build Life Extending Machines if you want to be like him."

Chiron made a note to ask about that part later. "Very well. I trust what you say is true, but I want a final confirmation." His face turned serious. "Will you swear on River Styx that this spell works?"

Saxton said it nonchalantly. A loud thunder sounded off in the distance. Chiron took a deep breath. "Okay. Then go perform it." Chiron clopped away to tell the rest of the gawking campers to go back to their duties. Saxton looked at the scroll. It was written in an ancient language he couldn't understand, but Merasmus was kind enough to attach a magical translating object. "Let's do this."

After he finished reading the annoyingly long spell, everyone felt a short surge of confidence filling their insides. A heavenly aura surrounded their bodies, and Saxton's was the strongest. As it faded, Annabeth noticed a dissatisfied expression on Saxton's face. "Is there anything wrong?" She asked.

"No. Well, yes. I just hate magic, much more using it." He watched the scroll turn to ash in his hand as it was consumed. "And twice in a single day too. It's a coward's tool."

"That's debatable, but I understand why someone like you would think that.

"Yeah…" He looked at the sky.

"I really didn't like his ram skull hat." Grover mumbled. "I don't trust someone who wears something like that."

Saxton smiled, patting Grover's head. "Then don't trust him, trust me!" He turned around. "There'll be time for worrying later! For now, you should all go sleep. We have a big day tomorrow."

Percy yawned. He just realized how tiring this day was. "Are you not sleeping?"

Saxton grinned. "I'll need a much better-looking shirt than this is if I'm going outside soon. If Saxton Hale is forced to wear an evil confining cloth, at least he could look good at it!" And like that he was off, running into the night in search of a fitting manly garment.

[That's enough for today, readers. If you haven't literally DIED of boredom yet, congratulations! There'll be more chances later. Or, you can continue reading this piece of garbage just because I am starring it! That's a good choice if you do so! See you soon!]

Author's Note: Reviews are so refreshing to receive. Hope this turns out okay, I've read this three times and edited it dozens. Tell me what did you think. Criticisms and suggestions to improve are welcome.