Chapter 40: Near Slip
Roughly a week and a half later…
We were on the road again, heading to our next investigation.
Our destination - The "Queen Mary" - a retired ocean liner that mainly sailed along the North Atlantic Ocean between 1936 to 1967.
It was now considered to be one of the most haunted places on Earth, and permanently docked in Long Beach, California.
Long Beach was a little over four and a half hours from Vegas, so we were all driving.
The past week and a half since Zak and I had patched things up, had been wonderful.
We had started hanging out again in our free time, although, with my neck still healing, we mainly just hung out to watch movies, play video games, or just have long, wonderful conversations about life.
The only thing different I had noticed, was that Zak had been looking exhausted and unwell.
It reminded me of how he looked when I first met him, and even though he still kept up the positive attitude around me, there were moments I'd see him sitting in silence, just staring off into space.
After not being able to stand it anymore, I finally asked him what was going on, and that I was worried about him.
He didn't give up much resistance in telling me.
Ever since we investigated at Poveglia Island, he had been having horrible nightmares again, and he wasn't able to sleep much.
However, when I asked him what the nightmares were about, he refused to tell me. He'd only get a terrible look of pain in his eyes.
Currently, as Billy was driving on the highway, Zak was passed out in the front seat.
It made me wonder why he could sleep peacefully during road trips, but not in the comfort of his own home.
Regardless, I was thankful he was getting some sleep.
Three hours later…
The drive had been pretty quiet.
Billy, Aaron and I talked occasionally, but I think we all knew how much Zak needed sleep, so we kept as quiet as possible.
I sat now, with my headphones still on, focusing on a sketch I was working on.
I was so completely engrossed in my sketchbook, that all my current worries and fears were temporarily gone.
Since I had worked on the "Uncharted" video game series, I had always been a huge fan of it. And even though I had worked only in the Motion Capturing department, I liked drawing artwork of the characters.
So currently, I was working on my own image of two of the main characters, "Nathan Drake" and "Elena Fisher", standing on a cliff that looked over a large body of water. The rocky cliffs were covered by different types of foliage, and I drawn tropical trees at the top. I had the two of them holding hands, as there was a love story between them.
As I was lightly sketching, planning on doing a full on piece and colouring it in with pencil crayons later, I listened to music on my phone.
A new song had just started, and it didn't take me long to realize the lyrics fit my current situation with Zak almost completely.
The song was "Stranded" by Jennifer Paige.
I started to sing along with the song, but only "mouthing" the words, at least I had thought I was only mouthing the words at the time…
Zak's Point of View
I woke with a slight jump when I felt something touch my knee.
I looked down and saw Billy had his arm resting on the console between our seats, and he had tapped my knee.
I looked up at him in frustration.
I was still tired, why in the hell had he woken me up?
Before I could speak, he mouthed "listen".
I looked at him like he had two heads.
I realized first, that there was no music playing from the SUV's speakers.
That was rare.
Then I heard it.
"You know it only breaks my heart
To see you standin' in the dark
Alone, waitin' there for me
To come back
I'm too afraid to show..."
Alicia was singing.
Her voice is beautiful…I thought.
I quickly, but quietly took my phone out of my hoodie pocket, not wanting to distract Alicia and cause her to stop.
I quickly brought up the camera option on my phone and lifted my right arm. There was less chance of her noticing the phone with how she was sitting - slightly to the left in her seat, with her head tilted down. I leaned my head back against the head rest of the seat and took my sunglasses off.
I knew a small part of my face would be in the frame. I hit the record button and then slightly made a "shh" motion with my finger to my lips, as if an audience was watching.
"If it's comin' over you
Like it's comin' over me
Crashin' like a tidal wave
That drags me out to sea
I wanna be with you
If you wanna be with me
Crashin' like a tidal wave
I don't wanna be
Stranded...stranded…stranded
So baby come back to me
So baby come back to me"
I did my best to not let my emotions show on my face, my eyes however, were probably another story. But I ignored my thoughts and just listened to Alicia's beautiful, softly singing voice as I held the camera steady, watching her on the phone's screen.
"I can only take so much
These tears are turnin' me to rust
I know you're waitin' there for me
To come back
I'm too afraid to show"
As I listened closely to the lyrics as she sang the chorus again, I was surprised at how perfectly they fit our situation right now.
I probably would of felt more sadness, if I wasn't so happy to see her having a moment without any of her fear, her pain, or her insecurities.
"I miss you
I need you
Without you
I'm stranded
I lo-"
She stopped suddenly when I had reached up with my left hand to take the phone, to give my right hand a break.
Had she been just about to sing-
"Oh my god! Zak!" Alicia shrieked.
Alicia's Point of View
As I was focused on my drawing, and the lyrics and music of the song, I suddenly noticed movement in my peripheral vision.
I looked up to see Zak holding his phone up, clearly aimed at me.
I must have been singing out loud.
I immediately felt embarrassed beyond belief.
"Oh my god! Zak! How long were you recording me?!" I shrieked, leaning forward in my seat and making a grab for the phone.
"Since Billy woke me up, presumably, at the beginning of the song," Zak said, pulling the phone out of my reach.
I shot a look at Billy.
"Damn you, Billy!" I said, smacking his arm.
I was so embarrassed.
Especially to have been heard singing lyrics like that, in front of three men…
Oh my god!
I almost sang "I love you"! I realized, feeling myself fill with panic.
I didn't honestly know if I was that far into the feelings process. I hadn't even been on a first date, let alone in love with anyone. Zak and I had only known each other for roughly three months now.
How quickly can people fall in love?
But regardless, I had almost said those three words, and in front of two of his closest friends.
Damn it…
"Ow! That hurt!" Billy jokingly whined.
I could tell Zak was playing with his phone, probably about to post the video online.
No way in hell.
I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt, closing my sketchbook and setting it inside of my backpack.
Then I "stood up", as best as one can inside an SUV, and leaned against the back of Zak's seat, reaching down for his phone.
"Hey! Sit back in your seat," Zak said.
"Give me that phone," I retorted, reaching for it again, but Zak moved it out of reach.
Then he suddenly pulled on the collar of his shirt with his free hand, stretching out the material, and dropped his phone down his shirt.
He smirked at me.
"Seriously? You think that's going to stop me?" I asked, thrusting my hand down inside his shirt.
Zak jokingly yelped.
Billy and Aaron were laughing.
Zak squirmed as I tried to find his phone.
"Since when did you get so feisty?" Zak asked, laughing himself as he scrambled to grab his phone from the bottom of his shirt.
"Since you have an embarrassing video of me on your phone," I replied, and groaned in frustration to see he had pulled his phone out from under his shirt.
"It's hardly embarrassing," Zak said, holding the phone out of my reach again.
"Delete it," I said, looking at him.
"Nope," Zak said with a grin.
"Bagans, I'm warning you. ." I replied.
"Ooooo," Aaron and Billy both said at the same time, and then started laughing.
Zak looked at me, as if contemplating giving me my request.
Then, before I could react, he had lifted his hips up off his seat, and shoved his phone down the front of his pants.
"Make me," Zak said, with a sly look on his face.
My eyes widened in shock.
"Hey man! No touchy feely while I'm driving!" Billy said.
Aaron laughed.
I felt my face flush, as I also feel my embarrassment reach a maximum level.
I wanted to crawl into the deepest, darkest hole I could find.
Right now, the closest thing to that was the mostly empty, third row of seats.
I turned, grabbing my backpack and climbed back to to bench seat that was in the very back.
"What are you- Ali! Sit back in your seat!" Zak exclaimed from the front.
I ignored Zak as I moved some of the equipment bags aside to make room for myself.
"Ali, come on, I didn't mean to upset you…" Zak said.
I ignored him again as I sat behind Aaron, so the three of them wouldn't be able to see me so easily, and buckled my seatbelt.
I then curled up in my seat, facing the window.
I knew I was being completely ridiculous, and reacting like a big baby, but I couldn't help it. I felt humiliated.
I was also on edge.
I had been really worried about Zak since I had noticed how exhausted he was. I was afraid that Poveglia Island was affecting him more than he was letting on, but I was afraid he'd shut me out if I pushed him too hard.
I was also now afraid Zak would figure out what I had been about to sing, and God only knew what his reaction to that would be.
I was also concerned with our investigation.
One of the often reported sightings on board the "Queen Mary" was a little girl. I was nervous it might get too emotional for me.
And most of all, I was upset at myself.
I had been lucky to have Zak back as a friend, and was basically being given a second chance.
And no matter how hard I had been trying, I couldn't find the courage and strength to start the conversation with him that he needed to hear in order to be with me.
I kept my earbuds in my ears, to make it look like I was listening to music.
None of the guys had said anything, so I hoped they were respecting my need for space.
Or they thought I was being a big baby.
Fuck, I thought, feeling my eyes watering.
I heard music start up in the front, and was thankful for that, at least it eased some of the awkward silence.
Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrate in my hand.
I looked down at it and saw I had a text from Zak.
"I'm sorry doll…I didn't mean to upset you or embarrass you."
I felt a few tears fall down my cheeks when I read "doll".
Zak sent another text.
"I only recorded you because you really did sound beautiful…you sounded and looked so beautiful…"
I turned my phone off, I couldn't read anymore at that point.
I closed my eyes, tears still silently falling down my face.