Authors Note: I know, another short update, but I have a good reason this time.

Tomorrow, I'm heading out of down to visit my grandmother, who's not doing so well. I'll be gone until Saturday, and even though I'll have the story with me, I doubt I'll have much chance to work on it. So I decided to post these two chapters to fill in for the gap in writing.

Without spoiling anything, I hope these chapters aren't too over the top.

Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. Reading your amazing comments blows my mind, and definitely make some dark days brighter. :)

Hope you enjoy the update!

Chapter 82: The Letter

Alicia's Point of View

I woke up to the sound of the hotel rooms alarm clock.

I groaned quietly as I reached over to the nightstand and turned off the alarm.

It was then that the memories of the very early hours of the morning came back to me.

I looked back over my shoulder to find nothing but empty space beside me, the blankets slightly pushed down, and the pillows propped up on the headboard.

I was alone.

Zak must of left sometime after I had fallen asleep.

It's your fault…you could of fixed things, but you didn't…

When I had realized Zak was staying with me, I had felt so relieved, but I had also felt worried.

Would he still be there in the morning? Could this be a start to finding our way back to each other?

I knew I should have opened my mouth and apologized for everything that had happened since the Hoia Baicu Forest, but I had been too tired and too emotionally wrung out to deal with anything else.

Especially not after dreaming about Zak being dead.

I just wanted to curl up beside him, and relish in the safety, comfort, and knowledge he was alive.

And I had done all of that.

But now I was laying in bed by myself.

At that moment, I couldn't remember a time where I had felt more alone.

Roughly six hours later….

I was sitting next to Cheryl on our twenty hour flight back to Vegas.

Seeing Ashley and the guys outside the hotel earlier that morning had been awful.

They all greeted me - except Zak, who kept his distance – but generally everyone was very quiet as we loaded our luggage into the vans that were taking us to the airport.

Now, only five hours into our flight, I had never wished to be anywhere else more than I had at that moment.

I knew the guys were all experiencing lockdown hangovers, but I also knew that my actions at Hunedoara Castle were weighing heavily on everyone.

Zak had even gone so far as to change his seat at the check-in counter before we boarded the plane.

He had two seats to himself at the front of first class.

I felt horrible…I was still suffering from my cold, had a lockdown hangover, and most likely had just lost my job, lost a wonderful group of friends, and lost a man who was better than I could ever have imagined…

I should of booked a separate flight home… I thought.

Roughly two hours later…

I was curled up against a pillow I had resting against the wall of the plane, snuggled up in my seat with the hood of my hoodie pulled low over my eyes, and my earbuds in, listening to music.

I wanted to be completely oblivious to the world.

Cheryl had left a few moments ago to go for a "pee break", but she seemed to be taking longer than to be expected.

As I stared out the window and watched the clouds pass by, I tried to figure out what I was going to do when we landed.

Did I really want to quit 'Ghost Adventures'?

No.

It was an amazing opportunity, and had given me a few answers to questions I had had about Emily, and I was beginning to understand the paranormal world a bit more.

I had also met a wonderful group of people, who had quickly become like family - people who had welcomed me with open arms and accepted me for who I was.

And then there was Zak…I knew now that I thought of him as more than just a friend to me.

After having the scare during his asthma attack, and then the scare with Aaron, and then my two nightmares of Zak being dead…I knew I…

No…don't say those three words…it'll only hurt more if things don't work out… I thought.

I had to find a way to fix things…I couldn't lose all of these wonderful experiences and people that had come into my life.

I could not lose Zak.

I knew I had to get up, march my ass to the front of the plane and apologize for everything.

He'll reject you… The thought crossed my mind unwillingly.

I felt tears well up in my eyes.

Fuck.

I closed my eyes and buried my face into my pillow, willing the fear to go away.

My eyes shot open when I suddenly felt someone tap me on my shoulder.

It was Cheryl.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Cheryl asked.

I shook my head, tapping the pause button on the screen of my phone, to stop the music I was listening too.

"No," I replied, and noticed an envelope in her hand. "What's that?" I asked.

She held the envelope out to me.

"It's for you," she replied, her voice slightly quiet.

I took the envelope and saw my name written across the front of it, and recognized the handwriting immediately.

It was Zak's.

"He stopped me for a minute on the way back from the bathroom, asked me to give that to you," Cheryl said.

I felt eager - but also dreaded - opening the envelope.

Assuming Zak had contacted the network to tell them of my ridiculous actions, maybe this envelope contained legal documents, terminating my contract with the network.

Or even worse, suing me because they were under the impression I wanted out of my contract early.

A look of worry must of crossed my face, because I felt Cheryl rub my shoulder a bit.

"I'll give you some time to read it, I'm going to go sit with Aaron for a while," Cheryl said.

I simply nodded.

She smiled briefly at me before standing up, and vanished from my sight as she walked up the aisle toward where Aaron was sitting.

I looked down at the envelope and lightly ran my fingers over my name on the front of it, and then turned it over to open it.

I pulled two pieces of folded paper out of the envelope, and when I unfolded them, I was relieved to see that it was a handwritten letter.

At least it's not legal documents, yet… I thought.

I took a bit of a deep breath before I began reading.

Hey Doll…

As I start writing this, I realize I can't remember the last time I've written a letter to someone, other than fan mail, so I apologize in advance, because I know I most likely will suck at it.

I didn't get a second of sleep last night, so I was able to do a lot of thinking…and I came to the conclusion that you're right.

I should have taken my asthma attack more seriously, especially since it was probably the worst one I've had – that I can remember anyway. I guess I just didn't want to frighten you more than you already were. And I'll admit, I was probably trying to be a tough guy, like most guys do in those type of situations.

Men are idiots, I know.

You were also right about Aaron. I should of made the call myself to stop the investigation and force him to go to the hospital. I guess over the years, the guys and I have all just learned to take each other for our word when things happen on investigations. But I know that doesn't make it right.

While you were sleeping last night, I started thinking about what you had said to me when we were in the forest. About how if the attack had happened to you, I would have been rushing our asses out of there, and you're right, I would have. I started to imagine you having an asthma attack, or having a possible heart attack…I even started thinking about the nightmare you had told me about – only with you trapped in that cell, and me being unable to get to you…it was absolutely agonizing…

I realized the incredible amount of fear and pain I most likely caused you, and I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry for everything that happened in Romania…I truly am.

I hate even thinking about writing this next sentence…I know in the back of my mind you also said that you were, or are, starting to wish you had never of taken the job…and probably wished you had never met me...

I don't know if you really meant it, or if it was just said in the heat of the moment. I hate the darkness you've had to go through since you joined us, and if I could fully protect you from it in someway, I would.

Actually, I guess I can protect you from it, and I'm not...I'm being incredibly selfish by not telling you that you should leave…because more than likely, if you did quit, you'd go back to just having paranormal activity via Emily and you'd be rid of the darkness eventually.

I know being around me doesn't help that…I hate myself at times for having let myself get so close to you, because I know it's affected you in a negative way…I'm sorry for both the emotional and physical pain I've caused you…

Before I end up writing something that will ultimately freak you out, I just want to say that as selfish as it is…I really don't want you to leave…but I understand if you need to.

Please know that even if you do leave, I'll always be there for you,

Zak

P.S. Check your phone before you do anything else.

Oh my god… I thought, staring at the letter with tears silently falling down my cheeks.

I took a bit of a deep breath before picking up my phone from my lap, wondering why in the world Zak wanted me to check it.

It was then I noticed I had missed a text from him, sent only a moment ago.

"I've been looking into these 'boys' you like, and although they're not quite my style, they have a few good songs…I thought this one was appropriate…"

I laughed slightly to myself, a bit surprised he was apparently "looking into" my favourite band, the "Backstreet Boys".

I clicked on the thumbnail for a video he had also sent me, noticing in the preview that "DubSmash" was written in white font in the bottom right hand corner.

I knew the website.

"DubSmash" is a popular website that has apps available that allow you to record a short video of yourself with audio from any range of genres, including: movies, TV, music, etc.

The video loaded up to show a very serious, but also a very tired looking Zak.

Since I still had my earbuds in, I didn't have to worry about the volume.

I was surprised when the music for the song "Shape of My Heart" by the "Backstreet Boys" started, and even more surprised to hear my favourite members – Brian Littrell – voice "come out" of Zak's mouth, as he acted out as if he were singing the song.

"Baby, please try to forgive me,

Stay here don't put out the glow,"

I giggled quietly when Zak turned his phone to show the sun "glowing" outside the window he was sitting beside, before he turned the phone back on himself.

I was touched at his choice of song and lyrics for our situation.

"Hold me now don't bother, if every minute it makes me weaker,

You can save me from the man that I've become, oh yeah,"

I felt tears in my eyes again, both from being so touched by the lyrics, but also from the last line.

What kind of man does he think he's become?

"Lookin' back on the things I've done,

I was tryin' to be someone,

I played my part, kept you in the dark,

Now let me show you the shape of my heart."

I managed not to laugh when Zak moved his phone toward his chest until the screen went black, as if he was trying to show me his heart.

I can't leave…there's no way…

I pulled the earbuds from my ears, and put them and my phone in the pocket of my backpack.

I also folded up Zak's letter and slipped it back into the envelope, and then put it into my backpack as well.

I then stood up, picking up my backpack and my pillow and stepped out into the aisle, before heading to the front of the plane – to Zak.