When we landed I shivered at having to deal with the freezing and creepy way of traveling. I slid off of the massive hellhound who promptly slumped to the side and began snoring.
"Yo Sam can I ask you a question?" Percy asked as he slid next to me and I cracked my back. I checked my weapons and I still had them all so everything was good on my end.
"Shoot." I responded as I looked around the alley we were in.
"Well...I mean just when we were traveling I got to wondering. Why can't you Shadow Travel?" he asked curiously, I turned and looked at him with a frown. The hell is he talking about? I can't shadow travel, only Nico can do that shit...right?
"Nico told me the only types of people that can use shadow magic is demigods of Underworld deities...isn't your mom from the Underworld? From Nyx herself?" he asked and the thought hit me like a punch between the eyes. That's true...why didn't I ever piece that together? All this time I've always focused on the vengeful side of me, the side of conflict, my wrath. I never once even thought about dipping into darker magic like the shadows, the domain of my grandmother Nyx.
"I...I never thought about it...I mean, technically yes I suppose I could control shadows and even shadow travel but I've never actually tried. Didn't using that magic almost kill Nico?" I asked and Percy nodded "Then why the hell would I want to try that?" I asked.
Percy shrugged "Might be handy, shadow traveling to make a quick get away, Nico can even make himself invisible with shadows...makes Hide-and-Seek impossible with him." Percy explained. I chuckled as I patted his shoulder and we walked out of the alley together.
We looked around and we were right in the middle of the bustling city of Philadelphia. I clicked my tongue in annoyance, how in the absolute fuck are we supposed to find a Gargarean general in a city this big?!
I sighed heavily and suddenly my stomach rumbled, I never did get those cookies from Sally Jackson "Wanna grab a bite to eat and go over our plan?" I asked and Percy nodded before we walked down the street.
We entered a small steak house and sat down by the windows in a booth. We ordered our food and drinks but I barely registered it, I was looking at my hand...shadow magic...the magic of the Underworld. The magic of Nyx...did I really have the power to harness it? All these years have I never been fighting at my full potential?
I closed my hand into a fist and took a deep breath, the same way I summoned the Phonois, the spirits of murder, I sent my thoughts not into the earth but into the shadows. I thought about the darkness around me, the void of nothingness it enveloped, I felt a tug in my gut as I opened my eyes and gasped.
Small wisps of shadow, almost like smoke, danced along my palm. I gave a soft chuckle as I turned my hand and the shadow snaked across my fingers and arm.
"Percy? You were right..." I said softly and he grinned as he stared at the black mass in amusement. Suddenly the door opened and I'm not sure why but I flinched and flicked my hand causing the shadow to fire like a projectile into a soda machine, slicing it in half and spraying soda everywhere.
Percy and I stared, completely stunned, as workers ran out shouting what happened and what to do. I glanced at Percy and we both had the same thought, we got the hell out of there.
"Well that was exciting." Percy said sarcastically as we walked out, I rolled my eyes but looked at my hand again, the shadows were gone but...they had solidified almost like a spear. Does that mean I could create weapons using shadows?
I saw a hot dog stand and nudged Percy in that direction "I'll buy you a steak later. Food isn't our priority dude." I said as I ordered us some hot dogs, after that we sat down in a park and ate out food.
"So, we have to figure out where the general is and talk to him right?" Percy asked as he inhaled his hot dog.
"More like interrogate...I can't exactly go into full detail but I have permission to kill him if necessary." I said and Percy stopped eating and stared at me. I looked at him too and frowned "What?" I asked curiously because that stare was unnerving.
"Is it easy?" he asked after a few seconds, I was about to ask for clarification when he spoke again "Killing. Is it easy for you? You're taking a life and...it never seems to really get to you." he explained.
I sighed, honestly I'm surprised no one asked me this sooner I rubbed my hands together and looked at the ground.
"Yes, it is easy for me to take a life. However, it does get to me a lot more than you think. I've never really been...good with empathy. To be perfectly honest I almost completely don't understand it. Of course I love my wife, I love my siblings, I love my friends...but, when I was younger I never cared...I almost killed Luke on more than one occasion never once thinking about what he must be going through. I shot people for my own amusement, I broke bones just so people would understand I always meant business...but what if the person who's hand I shattered was a guitar player? I ruined that for him...and I felt nothing. I shot people in the legs but what had they ever actually done? Nothing and I felt absolutely nothing except rage when I did it." I rambled on before I chuckled lightly staring at the ground.
"Maybe I am a monster." I muttered softly, god why did I open that fucking floodgate?! Ugh goddamn you Percy Jackson why are you so easy to talk to?! God fucking dammit just let me wallow in self pity alone you demented bastard with your...feelings and whatnot!
"You're a fucking idiot!" Percy exclaimed loudly causing me to shoot my eyebrows up...alright I wasn't really expecting that. Percy was glaring at me "You're not a monster dumb ass! You completely contradicted yourself! You called yourself a monster for hurting people for no reason but you started with how you love your family! You then say you have no empathy!? Are you deranged?!" Percy shouted causing me to sit up.
"I'm-" but Percy held his hand up and continued.
"You're a sociopath! Not a psychopath! If you were a psychopath maybe what you said would have more ground but the only thing about you was that you never cared about anyone because you never had anyone! Now you do! You have friends and family who care about! You have a kid on the way! What you're just gonna ignore the kid when he's crying?! Never gonna help him?! You are the biggest idiot on the planet! Stop acting like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders and no one to help you! Stop acting like you have to be the toughest guy on the planet! Just...be you!" Percy yelled at me.
Wow, you know I never expected that kind of pep talk from someone like him. I thought back as what he said echoed in my ears. Shooting people in the legs, breaking bones, laughing at misery...loving my friends, protecting them, my siblings, my wife...my child.
"Look, however you want to put it you aren't a monster, you're a survivor. Would you call a tiger sociopathic for attacking its prey? It was surviving! Protecting its family! You're the same way! The true difference between us is that you know how to take a life and not tear yourself apart with guilt. You know how to get the job done, you know how to get your hands dirty Sam! Some people look down on that being so callous but sometimes it's necessary. I could never do it but I'm glad you can." Percy finished before taking a sip of his soda.
I sat there for a good long while not even noticing the silence and then finally looked at Percy.
"You're right, I should just be me." I said softly and Percy grinned glad he got through. He really shouldn't have been happy though.
Because I slapped him across the face knocking him to the ground, he stared at me in shock.
"You have a really annoying voice." I said honestly before helping him up. He's right though, I always go with the world on my shoulders believing I have no anchor. I go on a suicidal charge thinking no one will be there if I get back. Now I do have people waiting for me, I have a reason to live.
Fuck wanting peace! These pieces of shit want to try and destroy my fucking family?! I'LL RIP THEIR FUCKING HEARTS THROUGH THEIR THROATS!
I grinned feeling like my old self again before Percy glanced behind me, I turned to what he was looking at and spotted a military jeep passing by "Didn't you once tell me the Gargareans have a lot of military vehicles?" Percy asked and I nodded.
The jeep parked outside a large corporate building and I saw a few guys dressed in military fatigues walk out, they were different from regular standard military because the clothes were black and grey. They walked into the building and two men stood out front to keep guard.
I sighed heavily before looking back at Percy.
"Wanna sneak in or fight our way in?" I asked with a hint of danger in my eyes.
He glared at me and I knew the answer.
"Fine we'll sneak in...buzzkill."
REVIEW! KIND OF AN EMOTIONAL CHAPTER I KNOW! ENJOY GUYS!