Glassware shattered and furniture fell over as Orange Town trembled. A blinding light and a cloud of smoke, followed by an earthshaking noise that sent a wave of relief down the spines of the fleeing beastriders, knowing that they were out of the danger zone. Nami, Usopp and Chopper raised their arms as a wave of dust, rubble and force washed over the trio. Their feet skid against the pavement as the shockwave pushed them backwards. Still, a mild push was preferable to being caught in the middle of the explosion, like the Snazzy Kabuki Pirates were.
Or, at least, like most of the Snazzy Kabuki Pirates. As Nami and her friends opened their eyes, they saw two figures flying through the air towards them. Kumadori and Kanjuro had leaped forward before the explosion, and thus managed to avoid the brunt of the damage. Only their respective manes of hair had been singed in the blast. Both of them had their respective weapons raised as they fell towards the trio of pirates, Kumadori falling directly towards Usopp while Kanjuro aimed at Chopper. Weapons were readied and fighting stances were entered.
Nami tightened her grip on her axe as she prepared to attack the two falling pirates, when suddenly a bright light flashed from inside the cloud of dust and smoke. Next thing she knew, a shoeprint was being painfully embedded into her face. Then, more pain in the back of her head as it smashed through something solid. Before she had any idea what was going on, Nami was in free fall, and her axe had dropped from her hand. She landed roughly on a wooden floor, groaning from the pain surging through her body. She painstakingly opened one eye, just as a figure appeared above her in a flash of light. The figure had one leg raised, ready to stomp down on her. Nami just barely managed to roll out of the way before the stomp shattered the wooden boards. But she didn't escape unharmed, as an explosion sent her flying into another wall.
Both Usopp and Chopper stared in utter shock and disbelief at what had just transpired. Borsalino had emerged completely unharmed from the explosion, and kicked Nami through a wall before any of them had time to react. And the possibility of trying to help her out was made null and void by the attackers directly in front of the two.
"YOYOI!" Kumadori called out as he swung his staff down to strike Usopp, inadvertently shaking his opponent out of his stunned daze. The long-nosed pirate just barely managed to bring his hammer up in time, using the surprisingly sturdy handle to block the incoming staff.
"I shall puuuuurge this beautiful world of your sinful existence, demon!" the pink-haired kabuki yelled as he jumped backwards, spinning his staff around before striking another pose.
"Are you still on about that?!" Usopp yelled in disbelief.
Meanwhile, Chopper was forced to jump out of the way of Kanjuro thrusting his brush right where the short mink was standing. Initially thinking the malicious artist would do a follow-up attack, Chopper stayed on the defensive, but was surprised to see Kanjuro paint on the ground instead.
"Um… I thought we were supposed to fight?" Chopper said confused, tilting his head and lowering his metal pipe.
"That's what I'm doing... " Kanjuro smirked cruelly as he finished his drawing. "Appear!"
From Kanjuro's drawing emerged a being as tall as the vicious painter himself, a red-skinned long-nosed humanoid with wings and dressed in a yamabushi's outfit. The creature unsheathed a katana as it turned to face Chopper, sneering down at the now very frightened reindeer.
"AHA! Your true form has been revealed, tengu fiend!" Kumadori yelled while repeatedly swinging his staff at Usopp.
"Seriously?!"
The shorter of the two long-nosed combatants was being pushed against the wall by Kumadori's assault, when suddenly he jumped backwards into the wall. Kicking against it he flew against Kumadori and delivered a mighty blow with his hammer as he flipped over the tall kabuki.
At the same time, Chopper leaped to the side to avoid a devastating downwards slash from his winged opponent, ending up right beside Usopp.
"U-Usopp! What are we gonna do? What's going to happen to Nami?" Chopper asked, holding his metal pipe up in a defensive position as the three-dimensional tengu drawing twirled its blade menacingly.
"Right now, the best thing we can do is keep these guys from following her. We'll just have to rely on her to handle things on her own" Usopp stated, hammer at the ready as Kumadori turned around dramatically with a comical bump on his forehead. "And if not, we run very far very fast."
"Don't say things like that!"
Nami dove through a window just before an explosion levelled the house, Borsalino calmly walking out of the crumbling ruins with his hands in his pockets.
"You know, that big blast you guys made was real scaaaaary…" he calmly stated as he walked up to Nami, who was still recovering from the tall man's relentless attacks. His foot shone as he prepared to kick her again, but this time she managed to throw herself backwards in time. Instead of hitting her, the kick simply fired a laserbeam into another building, blowing it up. "Oooh, you reeeeally should be dead by now. It's rude of you to still be alive, you know? You should at least have the decency to stop moving around so much."
Nami responded with a punch in Borsalino's gut. However, her fist simply phased through the yellow-suited man. It was like punching air, his body turning into pure light wherever she touched him. He tilted his head as he looked at her, his expression unreadable beneath his macaque-mask. A sharp pain suddenly struck Nami's chin, and soon she was once again sent flying into the air, this time by Borsalino's knee.
"Ooh, I love skeet shooting…" the light man said calmly as he lifted a hand out of his pocket and pointed a finger towards the airborne Nami. He lined up his shot, taking his time… until Nami just smashed through the roof into the second floor of one of the buildings nearby. "Looks like I was too slow to the draw agaaaain…"
Given a short break from Borsalino's merciless barrage, Nami clenched her fist and slammed it against the wooden floor. She was clutching her side, panting heavily as every nerve in her body screamed in pain and most of her skin was charred from explosions.
"Damn it… how am I supposed to fight someone I can't even touch?"
A flash of light announced Borsalino entering the building as well, his prodigious height just barely fitting beneath the roof.
"I think you're supposed to just diiiiie..."
Once more Nami was forced to roll out of the way of another explosion-causing stomp from Borsalino. Of course, given that they were on the second floor, the explosion caused the entire floor to collapse and drop the two pirates down to the first floor. Desperate, Nami looked around for something, anything that could potentially harm the seemingly untouchable villain. Her axe had been dropped when she was first kicked through the wall, though it was unlikely to do much more than her punches. In a last ditch effort, she started grabbing and throwing whatever random objects she could get her hands on within the house.
"Oooh, growing scared are you? That's understandableeee…" Borsalino said as he phased through the rubble of the collapsed second floor, the things Nami threw harmlessly passing through as well. But suddenly, to the surprise of both of them, something shattered against Borsalino's head. His macaque-mask was broken as well, revealing the captain's wrinkled and somewhat off-putting face. But more than that, it actually properly hit him. His neck arched backwards, and he stumbled back a few steps more in surprise than anything. There was a pause, as both combatants tried to figure out what had happened.
"LIFE RETURN!"
Kumadori clasped both hands around his staff and hit it against the ground, as his flowing pink hair started to lengthen and move around on its own. Before Usopp even had the chance to ask what was going on, the hair formed into a series of sharp tentacles that shot forwards in an attempt to stab the hammer-wielding pirate. The hair proved itself strong enough to pierce stone as Usopp narrowly avoided the attacks, the stabs hitting the walls and ground instead.
"And you call ME a demon? You futakuchi!" Usopp yelled, unable to get close to Kumadori while his hair threatened to perforate him.
"Silence! Your poisoned tongue no longer affects me! My dear mother in heaven shields me!"
"Your mom is still alive, you idiot!" Kanjuro yelled at his over-dramatic crewmate. He shook his head before returning to his painting, featuring a giant skeleton. Chopper, meanwhile, was still struggling with the cruel painter's past creations. The tengu warrior had been joined by an oni, a kappa and a small cyclops known as a hitotsume-kozo. The reindeer mink was panting and sweating heavily, having nowhere near as much fighting experience as the rest of the combatants here. Just staying on the defensive was already tiring him out, and the enemy's forces were only growing. They had the poor boy backed into a corner, as Kanjuro watched with sadistic glee.
"Don't kill him just yet… I wanna give some payback for that bomb trick. Now, appear! Gashadokuro!"
With that, the giant skeleton drawing came to life, towering over everybody else in the area. As Chopper saw it, his heart sank. He had been hoping he'd be able to keep Kanjuro's drawings from getting him until Nami or Usopp would be able to come save him, but it was becoming clear that that would be impossible for him to achieve.
"I have to do this on my own…" Chopper gulped, deflecting a sword slash from the tengu and dodging a strike from the oni's iron club. "But I can't fight them… can't fight them…"
The metal pipe clanged against the ground, before Chopper fell onto his very short knees. He then fully collapsed, face down on the stone pavement. The yokai-drawings stopped, remembering their creator's wishes. Seeing the reindeer lie prone put a cruel grin on Kanjuro's face. He stopped his painting and slowly walked over to Chopper.
"Ah, better make sure this isn't a trick…" he said calmly, snapping his fingers and making each of his four drawings pin down one of Chopper's admittedly tiny limbs. The giant skeleton was forced to use a pinkie finger for this.
"Ch-Chopper!" Usopp called out, seeing the distressing scene.
"Silence! Your vanquishing will not be delayed by your concerns for another! Yoyoi!"
Kumadori's hairtillery continued laying down a barrage upon Usopp, whose short-ranged hammer was ill-suited against Kumadori's long range.
"Can't get close… if only those hair-whips weren't moving around so much!" Usopp grumbled as he danced through the danger. But he wasn't just avoiding attacks, he was also peeking in through the windows of the nearby houses. Looking for a special something he had in mind to deal with Kumadori's hair. "Ah, here we go…"
Usopp suddenly dove in through a window, before diving straight back out. In his hand was a box he had taken from inside one of the buildings. He raised one leg, placing the foot besides the knee on his other leg. His hammer was raised up, and he extended the arm holding the box in a pose.
"Now you shall witness the brilliant tactical prowess of Usopp the Magnificent!"
"I WILL NOT LET YOU TRAP MY SOUL WITHIN THAT BOX TO FOREVER SERVE YOU IN UNDEATH!" Kumadori yelled as his hair lunged forth once more.
"WHEN DID I EVER SAY I WAS GONNA DO THAT?!"
Usopp once more avoided the hair-stabs, but this time he had a plan. With a flick of the box, a small object emerged, and he used his hammer to slam it down on a hair-tentacle that had just embedded itself in the ground right in front of Usopp. He then hit the hammer several more times. Kumadori was confused at first, but when he tried to pull that hair that had been hit back, he found that most of it was stuck.
"Wait… that box… don't tell me?!"
"That's right!" Usopp grinned proudly. "NAILS!"
"WHAT A DIRTY TRICK!" Kumadori roared, as he attempted one more time to skewer Usopp with a barrage of hair spikes. But Usopp was too fast, avoiding and nailing down each of the lethal clumps of hair. Kumadori ended up completely trapped, as whatever hair wasn't actually pinned down by the nails were tangled up with other strands.
"I shall have to call upon the wisdom of the elders to discover a path out of this situation…" the kabuki said as he closed his eyes, clasping his palms together in meditation. Right then, Usopp hit him in the face with a hammer. "AH! MY WISDOM!"
"USOPP POW-POW-POW-POW-POW-POW-POW-POW-POW!" the long-nosed pirate yelled as he swung his hammer into Kumadori's face with each resounding "POW", eventually knocking the pale-faced man backwards with such force that all of his hair was ripped out, leaving him entirely bald. Nevertheless, Kumadori stood long enough to deliver a haiku before he fell.
"My wounds are mounting
And so a brave warrior falls
Oh god my head hurts"
As the large pirate collapsed, Usopp ran over to check on Chopper.
Kanjuro's dark red lips split open to show teeth as pearl white as his skin. With Chopper exhausted and pinned down by four of Kanjuro's creations, things seemed bleak for the poor reindeer. The tengu drawing handed Kanjuro his katana, the summoned weapon as sharp and dangerous as the real thing.
"Maybe I'll start by-"
"WAIT! What you've heard about my fur is a lie!" Chopper suddenly yelled out.
"Your… fur?" Kanjuro asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.
"You must have heard all about how mink fur makes for the greatest brushes, right? Well, it's a lie! S-so there's no need to do anything cruel!"
Kanjuro scratched his chin, staring down at Chopper. He had never heard about anything like that before. But he always looked for new ways to elevate his art...
"Well… it doesn't matter what other people say. I'll check it for myself. Now then, just lie still and this will be over soon."
The kabuki painter knelt down, placing one hand on Chopper's head while the other raised the katana up high. But he stopped when a small light caught his attention. He didn't see where it came from, but it was soon followed by another. Small lights quickly dancing over Chopper's body, growing brighter and more numerous. By the time Kanjuro heard a humming sound and understood what was about to happen, it was too late.
"Electro!"
Electricity surged from Chopper's body and into the five enemies surrounding him, temporarily paralyzing them as bolts arced between them. The painted demons began dissolving from the voltages coursing through them, fading into nothingness as the Electro stopped. Chopper, now even more exhausted than before, smiled happily. He couldn't actually see what was going on since he was still face-down, but he assumed Kanjuro had gone down with his creations. After all, he couldn't still be standing after a shock like that, right?
"Ok… kill you from a distance… got it…" the crimson-haired man panted, lightly charred from the electrocution but still very much standing. Chopper's heart dropped. A chill went down his spine, as tears of fear started welling up in his eyes. The Electro had taken all he had left. He was unable to even stand up to face his would-be executioner. A cold fury radiated from the pale man as he picked up his brush, poising to finish off the exhausted mink. He raised his weapon, and…
Kanjuro fell forwards, landing face first besides Chopper. Using the last of his strength, Chopper looked up to see his long-nosed savior:
"Special Usopp Technique: Attacking From Behind!"
Nami lunged back and forth as she avoided Borsalino's attacks. Explosions and lasers blasted the barely-standing house, as the orange-haired girl somehow managed to stay mostly unscathed. While dodging she was slowly making her way towards where Borsalino had stood when that one object smashed into him. Considering the ease with which he phased through everything else, it seemed unlikely he simply messed up. Whatever it was that hit him it seemed to be able to somehow nullify his intangibility.
"Oooh… you're quite elusiiiiive… I think I should just blow everything up~" the yellow-suited captain said calmly, before disappearing into the air with a flash of light. He reappeared above the house, crossing his arms as he prepared his next attack. Nami took the brief lull in the barrage to dive over to her target, quickly scooping it up in her metal hand. She peered down at her palm to see… her own face staring back at her. Confused, she lowered her arm, and now she instead saw the figure of Borsalino in her palm.
"A… mirror?" Nami whispered under her breath. As a bright light started reflecting from the mirror, she knew it was time to get out of there.
"Yasakani Sacred Jewel" Borsalino said in his usual laid-back voice, as a torrent of deadly light projectiles started raining down over the building Nami was in. Taking advantage of the fact that he couldn't see her through what remained of the roof, Nami dashed through the back door to escape the assault. "I have to find another mirror… a big one!"
She looked down at her metal arm, still clutching the sharp mirror shard.
"Then again…"
More random explosions rung out through the ghost town. Borsalino had lost track of Nami when she ran out of the building, and thus he was left fruitlessly searching for her… by blowing everything up.
"Oooh, this is like one of those horror novels, isn't it? Hiding from the big scary bad guuuuuuy… but you'll run out of buildings before I run out of stamina, so it's pointless to hiiiiide..." the calm man said as he casually walked through the streets, firing off a barrage of destruction at random around him.
Suddenly, from the second floor window of a building not yet blown up by the light man, Nami leaped through the glass carrying a standing mirror. She raised it high, poised to strike. But Borsalino, calm as ever, simply threw a piece of rubble he had been carrying with him for this exact occasion. The stone smashed the mirror into pieces, leaving Nami without a big weapon once more.
"I knew you'd do that… thinking you could win with just a big old mirrooooor?" Borsalino said as he calmly watched Nami fall towards him, her victory condition apparently having been literally shattered.
"Not with a mirror…" Nami shouted back, gritting her teeth with determination. She raised her robotic left arm, which Borsalino noticed looked quite a bit shinier than before. A shine of sunlight bounced off of it, and soon enough Borsalino's wrinkled face was mirrored on the metal of Nami's knuckles. "With polish!"
Clean enough to reflect light like a mirror, Nami's metal fist collided with immense force. Borsalino was not used to taking hits, his Devil Fruit's intangibility making physical damage a thing of the past. Or so he thought. His already somewhat odd face was distorted furter as Nami's punch dug into it. He was knocked on his back by the powerful blow, landing with such force that he bounced into the air, flipping over to land on his face. Body splayed out like a star, with nary a "Oooh" to be heard, Captain Borsalino of the Snazzy Kabuki Pirates was finally defeated.
Feeling the temptation irresistible, Nami celebrated her victory in the most appropriate way she could think of: hands fully opened, knees bent and palms outstretched as she struck a kabuki pose.