The sails of the Going Batty were filled with wind, propelling the ship across the waves. Aboard the dark wooden vessel were eight people grimly surveying the horizon and readying themselves for a future skirmish. Three members of the Straw Hat Pirates; Nami, Usopp and Franky. Three chefs from the floating restaurant, the Baratie; Jesus Burgess, Porche and Monkey D. Luffy. Two bounty hunters and old friends of Usopp; Mozu and Kiwi. Together on a single mission: to rescue their friend Tony Tony Chopper from the fearsome Kawaii Pirates.
"Uuuh… I really think we should have brought more" Usopp complained. "Fighting the Maybe Pirates was already tough, and we practically had an army at that point!"
"Well, three days ain't enough for most to recover from a battle like that" Burgess shrugged with his one arm. "Of course, we eight are NOT most people! Weehahaha!"
"Besides, last time we went to save Chopper we brought all of the Baratie chefs and used about five ships we had confiscated from pirates who tried to rob us. They're definitely gonna be ready for another big assault like that" Porche pointed out.
Nami nodded slowly.
"Which means a smaller group is our best bet to avoid being noticed" the orange-haired captain said. She and Franky were fiddling with her robotic arm, making repairs and working on improvements.
"HEY! GET OVER HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASSES!"
All eyes on deck quickly turned to look towards the front of the ship, where a masked man in a red cape and blue shorts was standing on the Going Batty's figurehead. He had his arms raised, yelling at the top of his lungs towards the open sea.
"Luffy, get down from there" Nami called out to him, rolling her eyes.
"Is that a captain's order?" Luffy asked with a beaming grin, whirling around to face her.
"You're not joining a pirate crew, damn it!" Burgess yelled back at Luffy. "I'M the one ordering you around, ya hear me?!"
"Besides, yelling for them to get out here isn't going to do anything" Nami sighed, rubbing her forehead with her human right hand. "We're still… how far away are we again?"
"10 nautical miles!" "Or 10 leagues." "Or maybe we passed it?" "Wait, are we in the East Blue or the North Blue?"
Mozu and Kiwi were on their hands and knees, feverishly flipping between books, maps and navigation equipment splayed across the deck.
"I thought you two said you knew how to navigate?!" Franky yelled at the two, his teeth turning sharp as his eyes went white.
"Well, we know how to sail to islands we can see." "Mostly."
"Well, then you'll learn now" he grinned with a thumbs up. Nami just sighed heavily and facepalmed.
"Ah, don't worry about it" Burgess laughed, slapping Nami on the back with thunderous force. "Once we get Chopper back, he can help us return to the Baratie."
"And… how are we supposed to get Chopper if we can't even find the island he's on?"
After an awkward silence from Burgess, Porche walked over to the pile of navigation tools and navigation fools.
"Chopper likes to talk about this stuff, I could try to remember some of it and help" she suggested, leaning down to pick up a piece of paper. She studied the paper, which was filled with numbers, complex terms and figures. "...emphasis on try."
"Well, what do you know. We made it!" Porche declared as the Going Batty anchored at a sandy beach.
"And we even managed to avoid detection by going a route they weren't expecting" Franky grinned, while loading up grenades and ammunition in a bandolier.
"Probably because of the whirlpool…" a green-faced and seasick Usopp groaned. The long-nosed combatant hung over the side of the ship, completely limp. Mozu and Kiwi were on either side of him, in similarly deflated states.
"Alright! Now let's go get Chopper back!"
Luffy leaped off the ship and began rushing across the sand to get further onto land, but was stopped by something gripping his cape. His upper torso remained in place while his feet flew forwards, making him fall on his back. He glared up at Nami, who was standing over him with her metal left arm clutching Luffy's cape. Her battle axe hung diagonally on her back.
"Did you forget that the whole reason we went with a small team and went this way was to avoid alerting the Kawaii Pirates too early?"
"That was back then. Now it's later, so it's not too early anymore!" Luffy argued, trying to wrest his cape out of Nami's hand. However, both Nami's grip and her thoughts on what too early meant were steadfast.
The captain and the wrestler began arguing, their arguments growing more and more childish, while the rest of the squad disembarked from the ship. Usopp, Mozu and Kiwi recovered from their battle with seasickness, clutching their hammer and swords. Burgess flexed his one remaining arm. Franky had two bandoliers across his body, a belt with pouches, and a grenade launcher and bazooka strapped to his back. Porche did a few stretches, limbering up her body and readying for a fight. Mohji and Richie stared blankly at the group from a distance.
Everybody turned to look up at the huge white lion looking down at the group from atop a nearby grassy hill, and the bearded man perched atop said feline. They stared silently at each other for a while, until Mohji broke the silence.
"Richie… there's a big, juicy steak back at Perona Castle. It's yours if you get back as fast as possible."
Richie's pupils turned into steaks, his tongue flopping out of his mouth along with a large amount of drool. The giant lion quickly turned tail and started sprinting, actually getting up on his hind legs to run like a human. Mohji desperately clung to Richie's mane, his body flopping in the wind like a bizarre cape.
"Damn it! Luffy, looks you're getting your wish for some action" Nami said through grit teeth, before she started spinning around. She still clung onto Luffy's cape, swinging him around like an Olympic hammer thrower. When she let go, Luffy was launched towards the fleeing pirates, letting out a cry of excitement. Mohji turned his head to look, and screamed at the top of his lungs as he saw Luffy's grinning face grow bigger.
Meanwhile, on another part of the island…
On the coast of the Conomi Islands sat a five-story castle, surrounded by an ominous stone wall. The tower and wall had a gothic style to them, with dark colors, spires, intricate overlaid traceries, and flying buttresses. Each floor was smaller than the ones below, giving the castle an almost cake-like appearance. This was what was known as Perona Castle, the place from which the Ghost Princess ruled with an iron fist.
The top floor, which had a huge round ornate window surveying the open sea, was dedicated to be Perona's bedroom. The room was filled to the roof with plushies, both of regular cute animals and terrifying monsters. In the middle of the room was a colossal bed with curtains and pink striped sheets. And sitting on the bed, gently hugging a strange patchwork teddy bear, was the "Ghost Princess" Perona herself. The most notable of her features were her large, circular eyes, and her long pink hair done into pigtails. She wore a white long-sleeved shirt, a red skirt, black and white striped tights, and red buckled boots. To fit with her title of princess, she also wore a short red cape over her shoulders, and a black and red crown.
"Choppyyyy" she whined childishly. "I'm thirstyyyy!"
Near the foot of the bed, she could hear the sounds of grunting and a plate with a wine glass filled with an orange liquid was placed onto the bed. This was promptly followed by a pair of hoof-like hands gripping onto the edge, and a small Mink climbing up with a great struggle. Chopper was wearing a cow costume, with the head of the "cow" as a big hat.
"Kyaah, so cute~" Perona squeed, putting her hands up to her face as she moved her torso from side to side. Once Chopper had gotten up on the bed, he bent over to pick up the plate and wine glass once more, and brought it over to Perona. She delicately picked up the glass and sipped from it.
"Mmmh, only a true princess can sip from a wine glass in such a cute way~" she giggled to herself.
"Most princesses actually have wine in their wine glasses, and not orange juice, ya know."
Perona turned her head and frowned at the man leaning against the bedroom's wall, who had just so rudely insulted her.
"Wine tastes gross! Just because I prefer juice doesn't make me less cute! And why are you looking so glum anyway? I got my Choppy back~"
"Well, that's just it…" the man sighed. He was quite tall, and had similarly circular eyes to Perona. His attire consisted of an orange shirt with blue sleeves and a high collar, blue jeans and white shoes. He also had a white cap. However, the most notable part about his appearance was the fact that he was a humanoid giraffe with a rectangular nose. "Last time the Baratie chefs came in full force, and he ended up escaping in the chaos, along with a honkin' amount of our wares. We even had to unleash those four to knock them back, dagnabbit!"
"Bleh. You're just being a scaredy-pants, Kaku. We've already set up defenses, if they try sailing any big ships our way they won't even reach us" Perona smirked. Chopper stood there in silence, avoiding looking directly at either of them. He hoped that if he didn't say anything, they wouldn't pay attention to him… and Perona wouldn't remember how adorable she found Chopper when he cried.
"Gan Fall made a mistake not killing them. Too yellow-bellied for a bit o' blood" Kaku frowned.
"Well, we'll just kill them if they show up here" Perona shrugged, clearly not intimidated by the prospect of a rescue operation.
"The main thing I'm worried about is if they cause a ruckus and let more of our animals skedaddle. The fellas we promised rare animals are quite miffed about the delays already, and that giant yellow monster is making trips to the Island of Rare Animals quite the undertaking!"
"Geez, I'll tag along for the next one if it's that much of a bother. Now shush, I wanna dress Choppy up in a cute piggy costume~"
Chopper sighed as he prepared for his seventh costume change of the day, though he felt a cold sweat trickle down the back of his head. Nami had signaled that she'd rescue him in three days when he was taken, and this was the third day. Today would show whether or not Perona's confidence was deserved.
"Alright, that takes care of that."
Mozu and Kiwi were hard at work placing branches and bushes over the very unconscious forms of Mohji and Richie, who were laying in a crumpled heap in a ditch. The others were discussing their plan of attack, hidden amongst some trees.
"Chopper is going to be with Perona, no doubt. She's… got a bit of an obsession with him" Porche explained.
"And as far as we can tell she's usually in her bedroom, at the top of the castle. It's also where she fights from, using her Devil Fruit" Burgess continued.
"So all in all, her bedroom is going to be our primary target" Nami nodded. "And if they're expecting a large assault from sea, we should try to approach from the other side. They kicked all the other inhabitants from the area, so they probably won't expect anyone to come from there. We should go for a quick attack, in and out before they can organize. If… Mowgli or whatever his name was doing a patrol, someone might notice his absence. Let's hurry."
And so the squad set off, eight people versus an entire pirate crew. They tried to keep a low profile, even if Luffy had to be physically held and forced into it. Running near trees and bushes, circling around to reach Perona Castle. The sun was behind the tower, casting a wide shadow that aided the group in their stealth. As they approached the wall, the group crouched inside a bush to survey it. Burgess had at this point fully enveloped Luffy in a one-armed hug to hold him still, his inner elbow going over Luffy's mouth.
"Hmm… I can see a guard up there…" Nami whispered, gesturing to a bear mink lazily leaning on the castle wall's ramparts. "Perfect opportunity to try out this new upgrade me and Franky have been working on…"
She lifted her robotic arm and held it straight, palm pointed directly at the guard. She then gripped a small lever on the upper arm with her right hand. As soon as she pulled it, there was the sound of a small explosion coupled with a puff of smoke from her wrist as her hand shot out like a projectile, along with a piece of rope emerging from her arm. The hand flew straight up to the mink guard and clutched across his face, preventing him from calling for help. The mink began to stagger backwards, but was prevented from going too far by the rope. Nami then grabbed a small handle and pulled it with force, activating a pull engine within her arm. The engine roared to life and started rapidly winching the rope back into her mechanical arm, dragging the bear mink off the ramparts with it. The confused guard waved his limbs around wildly, until he was slammed hard into the ground behind Nami.
"Field test complete!" Franky declared, slamming his wrists together while leaning to the side.
"Yeah. I'll launch myself up to the ramparts now, and use this to bring all of you guys up the wall as well" Nami explained while the other stomped, kicked and punched the Kawaii Pirates guard to ensure he was knocked out. Nami repeated the procedure to launch her hand up to the top of the wall, this time gripping onto the ramparts themselves. She flew forwards as the engine winched her arm and hand back together, and quickly made it to the top of the wall. She turned around and aimed her hand back at the gathering of bushes the others were at, only to see them waving their arms and pointing to Nami's left. She turned just in time to see a big pink, dotted figure cover her field of vision.
Nami coughed up some blood as she was violently knocked backwards, carried along with a thin blunt object against the middle of her chest. Her hands clutched the weapon, preventing it from doing anymore damage. Her feet had left the ground, carried into the air by a flying foe's lance.
"You had the chance to walk away…" Gan Fall, the man astride the pink pegasus, spoke solemnly. "But now… I can sympathize with your compassion for your friend, but I can't let you get off this island alive."
Gan Fall flew around to the other side of the castle, to the brightly lit courtyard where most of the Kawaii Pirates were. The courtyard also had many cages filled with exotic animals, the main product of the smuggling operation the pirates were running. With a shake of his lance, Gan Fall dropped Nami to the ground. She managed to catch herself and roll to avoid taking much damage, but by now she had caught the attention of everyone in the courtyard.
"A group of enemies from the Baratie are preparing a sneak attack from the east side!" Gan Fall yelled as loudly as his old lungs could handle. "This one is their leader. Some of you stay to take care of her, the rest follow me!"
Nami pushed herself up on her feet as the courtyard erupted into a deafening cacophony of roars, hoots, growls, ooks, oinks, whinnies, and a stampede of pirates and beasts. The animals in the cages were riled up, clawing at the bars and making noise. Around a dozen pirates remained to face Nami, while the rest charged after Gan Fall. Everyone was either a mink, a Zoan-user in hybrid form, wearing some kind of animal costume, or were riding a large animal.
"Invaders! Awooooo!" "Stupid cooks… don't know when to quit." "Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl! Hoot! Growl!" "Let's feed them to the lions!" "I don't want to eat them, gao!"
Nami was surrounded by a variety of animal-themed pirates, including a person in a full body bunny mascot suit, a shirtless bandicoot mink, a woman peeking out of the mane of a giant lion, and what she was pretty sure was just a mandrill with a sword. Nami's head lowered, her face shadowing over.
"Looks like you're realizing this was a bad idea" a long-necked green man, in the hybrid state of some form for snake Zoan, grinned at her.
"I'm just annoyed that I'm getting left with the C-squad" Nami grumbled.
"C-squad?! We're B-squad at lea-"
The snake-man was interrupted by Nami's metal fist colliding with his face, sending him spinning and flying backwards. The rest of the Kawaii Pirates took a fearful step back.
"One thing that both animals and humans have in common is survival instinct" Nami declared, reaching to her back to grab her giant axe. "Are you going to act on it?"
"Nami!"
The bush-group rushed out after Nami as she was taken away by Gan Fall, but most stopped as they saw her disappear behind the castle. Luffy, however, attempted and failed to scale the wall with his hands and feet.
"Ok, screw sneaking. We're going in loud!" Franky growled through grit teeth, grabbing his bazooka. "Aaaand… BLAST!"
He fired his Burn Bazooka, launching an explosive cannonball straight at the wall. A huge smoke-filled blast covered a large part of the structure, rocking the stone and sending trembles that could be felt almost the whole way around.
"We're coming, Nami!"
All seven poured through the newly created hole in the wall, breaking through a veil of smoke and emerging in the courtyard behind the castle.
"Come on, we gotta go get to Nami before-"
Usopp was interrupted by the distant sound of a ferocious stampede. Stomps and animal noises grew ever louder, as soon enough a massive horde of bestial combatants rushed around the corners on either side of the castle, pincering the cooks and pirates.
"...after we deal with these guys, I guess" Usopp gulped, clutching his hammer.
"Why are you looking so suspicious?" Perona asked Kaku with an eyebrow raised. The giraffe man was looking around, apparently listening for something.
"I thought I heard something…" he muttered, frowning. Suddenly, a thunking sound came from the huge window. Gan Fall and Pierre were there, Gan Fall tapping his lance against the window. Kaku walked over and opened a smaller window in the huge window, something built in specifically to accommodate flying animals.
"Attackers from the Baratie. I've sent most of the crew to attack the invaders coming from the east side, and their leader is being dealt with right now" he explained quickly, bringing Kaku and Perona up to speed. Gan Fall then looked down towards where he had left Nami.
"Oh dear…" he sighed before flying down towards her.
"They're here…" Chopper gasped softly, in his little piggy costume.
"Grr, those stupid chefs! Can't they just leave us alone?!" Perona whined, slamming her fist into her bed. "Urgh, how annoying. Well, shouldn't take too long to get rid of them…"
She closed her eyes and fell onto her knees, as a spectral version of herself floated into the air alongside several small white ghosts with thick lips and big tongues.
"Don't worry, Choppy. I'll kill all your friends in no time. Horo-horo-horo~"
With that Perona's astral projection and the ghosts flew off, passing straight through the wall. Chopper gulped, glancing at Kaku. The giraffe-man had drawn two swords, dutifully guarding Perona's unconscious body and preventing Chopper from trying to escape on his own.
By now the courtyard had erupted into battle. The Kawaii Pirates had the advantage in numbers, but each member of the small team was capable of taking on waves of foes at once. Even still, it was clear to them that this was anything but a favorable position.
"Grr, we're getting nowhere with this!" Porche grunted, as she leg dropped a gorilla in the face.
"Worst part is, Perona's gonna start using her ghosts on us soon…" Burgess agreed. After uppercutting a rhino Zoan trying to smash into him, he rushed to the side to clothesline someone in a fish costume trying to spear Usopp. "Hey, don't get distracted now!"
"You mentioned those ghosts before… shouldn't one of us try to get up there and stop Perona from doing that?" Usopp pointed out, glancing up towards the top of the castle.
"You're right! Good luck" Burgess nodded with a grin, before grabbing Usopp's shoulder. He spun around once before throwing the long-nosed combatant into the air, clearing a good portion of the castle's height.
"WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN THIS WAAAAAAAAAAY…" Usopp screamed as the air resistance whipped his face, disappearing into a window high up.
"Whoo, perfect aim!" Burgess cheered.
"Speaking of…" Franky grinned while blasting several flying enemies out of the air. "No misses. I'm way too super this week! Nothing can stop m-WHOUGH!"
Franky coughed as he was sent flying backwards, bowling over a big dog person. He glanced down, seeing that a huge turtle shell had been launched at his gut. He stared at it with a raised eyebrow, before a fist suddenly shot out of one of the holes in the turtle shell and tried punching him. Franky threw the shell off and rolled away, getting into a crouching position to look at his new opponent. Four limbs clad in a pink suit and a lion's head and tail popped out of the shell. The lion wore sunglasses and had an earring.
"How do you like my special Turtle Bowling? My shell is too tough for any gun or bomb you can throw my way, gao" the lion, Pekoms, spoke, waving his fist towards Franky.
"Man, I hate to have to shatter those sunglasses, but if my guns lose to a turtle-lion, I'll hang up my bandolier" Franky shrugged, bringing up his bazooka again.
"That bandolier will be hung up on your tombstone!" Pekoms roared, before rushing towards Franky.
Meanwhile, another Kawaii Pirate ran feverishly away from the battle.
"These people are nuts! We gotta bring out the big guns, gotta bring out... those four" he muttered to himself, as he ran through a small side door leading into the castle. He ran through big, empty hallways and rooms, until he eventually reached a huge metal door. With a gulp, he grabbed a handle and twisted it, slowly opening the door.
Soon after, the wall nearest the battle in the courtyard burst outward, creating a huge cloud of dust and smoke. The fighting stopped for a moment, as everyone turned to look… then saw four huge silhouettes, each with a pair of glowing red eyes.
"Crap…" Burgess growled with a frown.
"Those four again" Porche gulped, taking a step back.
"Cool, I never got to fight them last time" Luffy grinned, entering a combat stance.
The figures roared and charged into the fray, knocking aside their own allies. Each of them were massive, odd-looking Zoan users who had awakened their fruits and reverted into being mindless, brutal beasts with runny noses. Minotaurus, Minorhinoceros, Minokoala and Minozebra had joined the battle.
Minotaurus, a black and white bull with striped pants and wielding a big club, rushed towards Burgess. He swung his club at the one-armed wrestler, who countered it by punching the club. The force of the collision created a shockwave of dust and wind around them.
Minorhinoceros, a rhino in overalls with a club in each hand, charged with his horn low towards the ground. He attempted to gore both Mozu and Kiwi on his horn, who both leaped aside to evade his charge. But their dodge left them in perfect position for Minorhinoceros to strike them both with his clubs, which he held outstretched on either side of him. They barely managed to bring their swords up to block it, but the force of the blow still sent them flying backwards into a wall. They smashed into the wall, creating some cracks in the stone, before dropping back to the ground on their feet. Though dirtied and bruised, they were both more than ready to continue the fight.
Minokoala, a yellow koala with pants and spiked brass knuckles, didn't get to charge along with his compatriots. He instead got a double drop kick in the face, courtesy of Monkey D. Luffy. The grinning wrestler was promptly sent flying into the air when Minokoala uppercutted him, but he flipped around while in midair and landed on his feet. Despite his fresh wounds, he was still grinning as he and Minokoala stared each other down.
Minozebra, a zebra with long beautiful pink hair and a long mace, leaped into the air with his mace raised high. He brought it down where Porche had been mere moments ago, turning his head to follow the blue-haired cook as she tried to run around Minozebra. He swung the mace once more, trying to sweep Porche as she ran. But once again she evaded it, this time by leaping into the air and delivering a powerful kick to Minozebra's face.
"Stupid one-armed jerk…" Usopp grumbled as he ran up the stairs inside Perona Castle. "At least warn me if you're gonna do that. I felt like my heart was gonna stop!"
Most of the castle's interior was devoid of pirates, most having poured down into the courtyard. Thus Usopp had a fairly free route straight up, towards Perona's bedroom. After a long spiral staircase he reached a big, ornate door and pushed it open…
"Usopp!" Chopper cheered, waving his arms at him. Usopp saw not only Chopper, but Perona on her bed. He also saw a humongous humanoid giraffe wielding two swords, and promptly slammed the door shut.
"You asshole!" Chopper jeered, waving his arms at him.
The door was soon shattered by Kaku crashing through it nose first, only to get immediately smashed in the face by a hammer.
"Special Technique: Feigned Retreat!"
"I see I underestimated you" Gan Fall declared as he soared down on Pierre. Nami was standing on a pile of defeated Kawaii Pirates, while another one collapsed in front of her. She frowned as she looked up at Gan Fall.
"Maybe you'll also realize you were wrong to hold Chopper and let him go?" Nami suggested while looking at him cutely, fluttering her eyelashes.
"That is not my decision. I follow my captain's orders" Gan Fall rebuffed her, pointing his lance at her.
"Ah well, can't say I didn't try to save you some pain" Nami shrugged, spinning her axe once.