A Collection of Letters, written between February 16-23, 4991
Dear Queen Scarlet,
You might not remember me, but we met each other during the opening of your grand coliseum last year. I was Burn's assistant, the one who built all the cool weapons for the "participants". If you're reading this, then I'm assuming my messenger did her job in convincing you not to kill them, for which I'm thankful. Yes, as incredulous as it may sound, I did indeed survive the Battle of the Palace, and through a bizarre series of events became the King in the Rainforest. I need not waste your time with what I've been up to since, so let me get straight to the point. The deal I made with you still holds: I provide you with more of my latest and greatest inventions (now being mass-produced by my skilled Rainwing workers), and in return, you keep the Seawings from travelling in and out of your territory. In order for Blister and Coral to win, they need you to act like their doormat. All I'm asking of you is to be the fierce, beautiful, powerful Queen that Burn and I know and respect you for.
Your Friend,
Xerophilous, King of the Rainwings
Dear Xerophilous,
Why yes, I do remember you. Your toys proved to be positively thrilling when in the claws of a true warrior, not just some pathetic prisoner. It's an absolute tragedy that your Princess Burn met such an untimely end. We had so much fun together when you both came to visit. I suppose congratulations are in order for your promotion to King - though it mustn't be that hard, since they're dumb, lazy Rainwings.
You'll be pleased to know I accept your offer. Those gill-breathers won't be getting more reinforcements through my kingdom, and they're going to pay very high tariffs to transport their goods through here. Coral will have to take the long way if she wants to keep her Sandwing puppet supported. I'm also having Hypaethral keep an eye on the borders, just in case the Seawings start getting any ideas.
I will of course be expecting more shipments of those thrilling crossbows of yours, as well as whatever else you happen to come up with. And by all means, come up and visit sometime. I'd love to have your toys in a live demonstration for this year's tournament.
Yours Truly,
Queen Scarlet of the Skywings
Dear Queen Moorhen,
You might know me as the late Princess Burn's assistant, the one who sent you those crossbows for your support against the Seawings. Yes, as unbelievable as it might seem, I am indeed the King in the Rainforest. I need not bore you with the details, for we have far more important things to discuss. The Seawings are on the move, spreading their influence all across Phyrria, including my homeland. There's no love lost between me and Queen Coral, but you have much more at stake with an expansionist Sea Kingdom. If they put Blister on the throne, Coral will turn the largest kingdom into a puppet, which gives her free reign to expand anywhere they want, including your own kingdom. With that in mind, know that you won't stand alone against the underwater menace. The newly rebuilt Army of the Rainforest stands ready to aid you, should our enemies turn their gaze upon you. Our soldiers are disciplined, are weapons cutting edge, and our will's strong as iron. All you need to do is ask, and we shall join you in stopping these imperialist Aquatics.
Sincerely,
Xerophilous, King of the Rainwings
Dear Xerophilous,
While I appreciate your efforts to move science forward, and I certainly love the presents you've been sending us, I'm afraid we have no interest in having an alliance with your kingdom at this time. We in the Mud Kingdom are skeptical over your claims that you can make the Rainwings do anything, let alone fight. Quite frankly, in my experience dealing with your "subjects", I find their capabilities as fighters to be worse than useless. Do you expect them to hug the Seawings to death? Sing and dance them into submission? We Mudwings are a strong, hardy folk, with the latest and greatest in modern weaponry thanks to your handiwork, and we're more than capable of defending ourselves. You can just stay in your jungle and tinker with your lazy new subjects, and let the professionals handle the fighting.
Signed,
Queen Moorhen of the Mudwings
Dear Smolder,
First off, surprise, I'm still alive! Crazy as it sounds, I made it to the Rainforest, and long story short, I'm King of the Rainwings now. Things have been busy, but in a good way. I've been working on implementing all those ideas I've been telling you and the boys about, and they've been beyond helpful and receptive, making them all come true in record time! Your brothers would love it here: My subjects have a talent for art and performance, and are openly polyamorous. In fact, one of my advisors recently confided in me that he now has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and not just for a one-night stand!
Speaking of which, you'll be happy to hear that I might have two girlfriends of my own. There's Queen Fruit Bat (no, we're not married, it's just a title), easily the smartest dragoness in the entire kingdom - as smart as I am, if you can believe it - and cute as hell! Then there's Majestic, my Captain of the Guard. I wish more than anything that Burn could've been like her: not just beautiful and strong, but sweet and flirty and not into torturing dragons! I can hear Scald telling me to just make both of them my girlfriends already, and truth be told it's something I might consider after I'm more secure in my reign, but I've been so busy turning this place around that we have to keep things professional for now. Tell your brother I'm saving the fun times for after the war is over, I promise.
On that note, you and I both know that neither Blister nor Nightshade are truly good for the Kingdom. Nightshade might be worthy of the Eye (and holy shit, that thing is a lot scarier than I thought it was), but they still had me mugged in public, and they're a glorified puppet of the Nightwings. And we both know your sister can hold a grudge, so there's no way in hell I'm going to let her get a chance to come after me. In my mind, there's only one dragon in all the Sand Kingdom who should be sitting upon your mother's throne. It's a damned shame that Phyrria doesn't view Kings as legitimate rulers in the same way as Queens. Hopefully, that's something you and I can rectify.
In the bundle attached to this letter are documents detailing everything I could gain on both Blister and Nightshade's activities. What you decide to do with all this is up to you. Maybe there's enough Sandwings out there who'd fight for a Third Option. Maybe you can take the fight to your sister directly, and show that bitch who's boss? Or, if you wish, you can come over to the Rainforest and wait for our enemies to thrash each other before making our grand entrance together?
Whatever you choose to do, know that you have my support. If you need anything else, give a letter to a Rainwing and send them my way.
Your Friend Always,
Xero
Dear Xero,
Your letter is the first good news I've read in months. Scald was certain Hallowglide caught you after his goons brought out the crossbows. Singe hoped that you found someplace safe in the desert to hide and wait things out. Never would've guessed you made yourself king before me. Couldn't be more proud, though - the Rainwings couldn't have a better leader if they built one from scratch!
We're all really proud of you for finally getting yourself out on the dating scene. You should've seen the look on my brother's faces when they learned you had game! Yes, Scald did say you should stop "pussyfooting around" and have yourself a threesome already. "A King can do anything or anyone he wants," He says. "So do your royal duty and make some eggs before they learn you're a dork!"
As the only one of us who's been in a real relationship before, let me give you some advice. There's a difference between being attracted to someone, and being in love. Scald's had many girlfriends, but he's never LOVED any of them. There's a lot of dragonesses out there who only want to sleep with a prince or king as a way to get power. If you're just looking to lose your V-card and sleep around with a different girl every night, that's fine (and I don't blame you, a lot of drakes would). Just make sure you have enough of that "moon tea" for them all, or you'll have more bastards than you can count!
But in all seriousness, my time with Palm was the best in my life. There were moments, right after we kissed for the first time, or after we made love, when we looked into each other's eyes, and the whole world faded away until it was just the two of us. It's hard to explain, but I can't think of a better feeling. I know you'll find it someday - whether it's with Fruit Bat or Majestic or someone way down the line - and I can only hope you can keep it better than I could.
As for the rest of your letter, you've given me a lot to think about. Things are so bad around here, I can't help but think maybe I should challenge her already. She's smart, but I know her tricks, and she's not as tough as Burn. I think I can take her. Should I emerge victorious, you and I should have a little chat over the future of our two kingdoms. My brothers and I would love to meet your subjects and your girlfriends, and reminisce on the old days.
Hope to see you soon,
Smolder (Future King of the Sandwings?)
Dear Queen Battlewinner,
It has come to my attention that you and I have mutual enemies, in Princess Blister and Queen Coral. I'm sure you've heard of the old saying "The enemy of my enemy is my friend", and I believe that adage applies very much to our situation. I've heard you've been struggling to keep your army supplied with food and water. My kingdom can help you with that. Blister and Hallowglide are using my crossbows. I can make you weapons even better than those. Surely with my kingdom helping yours, we can turn the tide and put the true, rightful Queen on the throne, and end this pointless and costly war. All you need to do is ask, and we shall provide you with all you need to win. The Liberators of the Sand Kingdom are more than welcome within the Rainforest.
Sincerely,
Xerophilous, King of the Rainwings