Lloyd gazed down at his calloused hands, watching them tremble before gripping his sword out of its sheath, swinging at a dummy he had created with his powers. He let out a guttural scream.
Kai turned to Garmadon in concern. "Is Lloyd alright? He's never usually this...unnerved."
The destruction elemental sighed. "He's gone through so much these last several years. I can't begin to imagine the turmoil that must be going on in his mind. But if he can handle it for so long…I don't doubt that his strength is something we can all learn from. It's just…" His voice faltered as he looked over at his son once more. Garmadon stood in silence and listened as Lloyd continued to cry out, slashing furiously at his opponent, screaming with every blow.
"Looks like he has no outlet for his anguish," Kai noted.
Garmadon watched Lloyd continue to tear into the wooden target at a rhythmic pace. He breathed heavily, gasping for air as he stared at the ground, tears streaming from his eyes, still unable to even bring himself to lift his sword again.
Suddenly Lloyd began moving around aimlessly, muttering to himself under his breath as he tried not to fall apart in front of them.
"Son…" Garmadon whispered, moving toward him slowly. "What are you talking about? Why won't you talk to me? What happened? Please talk to me." He begged, sitting next to Lloyd gently, putting an arm around his shoulders.
Lloyd was still shaking uncontrollably, trying hard not to cry but failing miserably at it, his breathing ragged, chest heaving slightly.
Garmadon pulled Lloyd closer to him protectively, rocking slightly. "You aren't alone anymore. We're here now. You've done so well already…"
Lloyd didn't respond. He couldn't bring himself to speak. Instead, he held onto his father tightly, burying his face against Garmadon's chest.
Garmadon closed his eyes, feeling Lloyd shake in his arms. He tightened his hold on the boy, whispering reassurances, brushing his hair. They stayed in their embrace until Lloyd's breathing slowed, his shaking subsided, and he quieted down.
They remained there for some time until Lloyd lifted his head off of Garmadon's chest. He kept his gaze firmly on the floor as he wiped away the few stray tears that had escaped.
Garmadon gently cupped Lloyd's face in his hands. He tilted Lloyd's chin up gently and gazed into those golden-rimmed emerald eyes. He brushed away the tears with his thumbs. "You are more than enough, Lloyd Ryuda. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
"I-I'll tear them apart!" Lloyd sounded delirious. His breathing was uneven again.
Garmadon shook his head, placing one hand on his cheek and brushing the stray tears. "No, you won't." He assured. "Not right now, at least. Not like this. You'll come to terms with everything you've been going through, but you need to take care of yourself first."
Lloyd looked away and sighed shakily. He nodded softly. "Okay…okay…" He rubbed at his eyes as he leaned into Garmadon's touch, closing his eyes. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me...I'm never like this–" Lloyd took a shaky breath, letting his tears stream down his cheeks. He gripped Garmadon tightly, taking a moment to calm himself down before pulling back, wiping his cheeks. "I–" Lloyd paused and shook his head, his vision blurry. He swallowed, closing his eyes. "I'm s-sorry." He choked.
Garmadon reached up and wiped away another tear, rubbing Lloyd's cheek gently. "Why are you sorry?" He asked calmly.
"For losing control. For making a fool of myself...for being...being so impulsive...a coward…" Lloyd murmured, squeezing his eyes shut as new tears fell freely.
"Stop," Garmadon said softly. He grabbed hold of Lloyd's shoulders and gently guided him to sit on his lap, holding him close. Lloyd leaned forward and rested his forehead on Garmadon's shoulder. His breath hitched slightly, his entire body trembling slightly. "You're not a coward…"
"I'm scared…" Lloyd breathed. He opened his eyes as they met Garmadon's worried ones. He squeezed his eyes shut tight. "I can't help thinking I'm gonna get hurt...or someone gets killed or kidnapped or worse…" Tears streamed down his cheeks. He buried his face in Garmadon's shoulder, clutching his shirt. His grip loosened ever so slightly, releasing Garmadon's shirt.
Garmadon wrapped his arms around Lloyd as tight as he dared, cradling him in his arms. "It's alright." He spoke soothingly, brushing Lloyd's hair gently, trying desperately to calm him.
Lloyd shook his head lightly, sniffing. "I'm pathetic..."
Garmadon sighed deeply, resting his forehead atop Lloyd's. He rubbed Lloyd's back comfortingly, continuing to run his fingers through Lloyd's hair. "There is nothing pathetic about you." He muttered.
Lloyd sobbed quietly, leaning against Garmadon and clinging to him as tightly as he could, clinging to Garmadon for dear life, crying out. "Dad…please…it hurts...every day…it's not fair… I know I'm the green Ninja, but I can't even go through this without help…"
"We'll get through this together." Garmadon assured. He placed a soft kiss on Lloyd's forehead, pressing Lloyd close. "Just breathe," he whispered. "Deep breath. In…out." He kissed his son's forehead again. "Keep breathing. That's it. Just breathe." He rubbed Lloyd's back. "Shh... Shhhh.."
Lloyd sniffled, burying his face in Garmadon's shoulder once more, hugging him as tightly as he possibly could. He felt a little better, but the pain in his chest and lungs and stomach wouldn't go away. He wasn't sure when the pain would fade, maybe never, maybe always. He wondered if he'd ever get over it.
"How are you feeling?" Garmadon questioned, running a hand through Lloyd's wild hair softly.
"Terrible." Lloyd murmured. "This world isn't made for someone like me. It's too harsh." Lloyd whimpered as he sobbed silently, clinging tightly to Garmadon's shirt. "So I'm trying…but I'm failing every time…and I just want it all to stop…"
Garmadon hugged Lloyd tighter. He felt the tension in Lloyd's body and knew that he was hurting. Lloyd needed some kind of release. He would try to ease Lloyd's suffering if he could. Maybe he wouldn't be able to though, especially after everything that Lloyd had gone through today, everything he had endured while being locked away for days on end. Perhaps Lloyd needed a break. Garmadon wanted to say that he would gladly accept any sort of reprieve and allow Lloyd to take as much time as he needed to recover, however, he also felt that it wouldn't do anything except further upset Lloyd. And that he needed to stay strong for him. It would be selfish of him to demand that Lloyd recover quickly. Lloyd needed to make things right with his father. There was still time to fix all of this. It might be best to wait a little longer.
But as soon as the thought came into his mind, he realized that he had absolutely no idea whether Lloyd was actually willing to fix things. No one had ever seen the child act with such clarity and maturity before. It seemed almost as if he had completely taken charge, not only by his own power but with the help of everyone else. And it wasn't a good trait either, not when he didn't understand what was going on or why.
It was difficult to explain. So, instead, Garmadon decided to just do whatever he could do and make Lloyd feel better. Even if it may not be what he really wanted to do. He was trying his hardest to be supportive of Lloyd. He could always tell how much he needed help with his emotions, it was very easy to see that. Lloyd needed someone there for him, just like he did for Garmadon. But he hadn't been there for Lloyd in years.
The two sat in silence for a bit, holding each other until Lloyd eventually calmed down and pulled away from the hug. "Thanks…thank you, dad…" He smiled sadly.
Garmadon returned the smile gently. "Anytime." He offered his hand to Lloyd, who took it gratefully. "Oh, Lloyd...you're so precious to me... You always have been… I love you so much." Garmadon pulled him into another tight embrace. He held him closer as he spoke. "Never forget that, Lloyd...never forget just how wonderful you are, alright?"
Lloyd closed his eyes as he buried his face into Garmadon's shoulder, hugging him tightly as tears continued to fall.
As Garmadon gently rocked Lloyd back and forth, brushing his hair softly as he spoke to him. He kept whispering sweet, loving words into his ear until Lloyd's shaking stopped, his sobs finally ceasing. Lloyd slowly lifted his head, looking up at Garmadon with watery eyes. He reached up and rubbed at his wet cheeks, smiling a tiny, watery smile as he snuggled closer towards Garmadon. "Thank you…" He mumbled quietly.
Garmadon smiled down warmly at Lloyd. "You're welcome…" He whispered back. "When all this is finally over, I promise I'll give you the love and attention you deserve…" Garmadon ran a hand gently over Lloyd's back, holding him gently, his hand occasionally moving to rest in his hair again. He let Lloyd lean against him and relax, allowing him the comfort that he desperately wanted.
"I'm scared, dad..." Lloyd looked up at Garmadon with wide, tear-filled eyes, his bottom lip quivering. "Everything's so overwhelming and I want it to stop…" He hiccuped quietly, his throat tightening slightly, the urge to cry coming back full force, his body shaking. "I-I don't know what to do…"
"Oh, Lloyd…" Garmadon sighed sympathetically, stroking Lloyd's hair again. "You don't have to figure this all out alone…"
Lloyd frowned, looking up at Garmadon. "I…can't help feeling like I am doing something wrong, that people are angry at me for something." He stared down at his hands. "And…" He clenched his fists tightly. "And sometimes…sometimes I just feel so tired." He sniffled, letting out a small choked sob.
"I'm sorry..." Garmadon tightened his hold on Lloyd.
Lloyd closed his eyes, sighing heavily. He wiped his tears off his cheek. "Sometimes, dad…it feels like my whole life is falling apart," He began, his voice shaky. "Every single day, it seems like I keep making mistakes…like there's something wrong with me…" He shuddered, closing his eyes tightly. "Like it's because of something I did…"
"No, Lloyd. No...no...that's not true. It's not true at all…" Garmadon leaned forward, kissing the top of Lloyd's head. "None of that is your fault…none of it. You did nothing wrong, you hear me? Nothing at all. You have me, Lloyd. You'll always have me." Garmadon rested his chin atop Lloyd's head, rocking him slowly side to side slightly. "If anyone should be the lonely one here, it shouldn't be you. I am so proud of you…of what you've accomplished…of who you've become. I'm so proud of you, Lloyd."
"Dad…" Lloyd sniffled, wrapping his arms around Garmadon tightly. "Tired." He closed his eyes. "I'm so tired…."
"I know..." Garmadon whispered. "You've been through so much today...so much has happened... I wish I could protect you from it, but I can't," he sighed. "I wish I could take away all of these fears for you, but..." His voice shook slightly as he spoke. "...I can't. All I can do is support you, and hope that you will find some kind of peace in the process of healing and that you can feel safe and happy again. You have us, Lloyd. We won't leave you. You'll never have to worry about anyone hurting you again." Garmadon paused. "I swear on it."
Lloyd nodded slowly, taking in Garmadon's words. He hugged Garmadon tightly, hiding his face in Garmadon's neck, closing his eyes tightly again, unable to contain any more sobs, his body trembling, shaking.
"Shhh...shhh..." Garmadon rubbed Lloyd's back softly. "I know, I know. I know… I'm sorry...just...let it all out…" Garmadon held him, pressing his forehead against his hair. His hands gripped tightly to the material of Lloyd's gi. A small sob escaped his lips, one he tried hard to suppress, to force back even though it felt like his heart might tear open from the effort. It felt like it had been far too long since he last held his child like this, in such a tight embrace, with such desperation. He couldn't remember when was the last time he held him like that or pressed his forehead to his hair and cried, and he realizes with a pang how much he hasn't allowed himself to mourn, not truly mourned. Not until now.