"A-Apa..." Xenudah whimpered. "Stay...stay with me tonight, please...?"
"Of course, Xenu…" Yakunan placed a gentle kiss on the top of Xenudah's head. "Anything you need, my love." He took hold of Xenudah's hand, then helped him climb into bed, pulling the blanket over his tiny frame. Once the blankets were securely wrapped around him, Yakunan lay down next to him, pulling him close to his chest. "Go to sleep, honey. It's going to be okay…"
"A-Apa…I'm scared…"
"I-I know…" Yakunan tightened his grip on his son. "Everything is going to be alright, okay? You're safe now… You'll never be in danger again…"
"But what if it doesn't go away? What happens if we're separated again?" Xenudah buried his face against his father's shoulder. "What am I supposed to do without you, Apa?…" He hiccuped.
Yakunan gently caressed his son's hair as he felt his heart shatter. "Oh, baby… I don't know… I don't think I could bear being apart from you any longer, but we've already discussed this. I need to protect you, and I know I cannot lose you. There is nobody here who is going to hurt you ever again, okay?"
"Promise…?" Xenudah asked quietly.
"I swear."
Yakunan pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "Now, sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow."
"Okay…"
"Goodnight, Xenudah." Yakunan reached under the covers with his free hand and pulled Xenudah closer, hugging him close to himself as they fell asleep together.
"AAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAA!" Xenudah shot up, hyperventilating, and curling himself into a tight ball.
"Xenu...!" Yakunan immediately shot upright, his entire body tensing in alarm. "Hey, baby..." He rubbed his back reassuringly. "It's okay… Everything is ok…" he cooed. "Just a bad dream." He held onto his son as he shuddered violently in his arms.
Xenudah's breathing became irregular and erratic as his eyes frantically darted around the room, landing on each corner of the bedroom, frantically searching for what had awakened him. "AAAAPAAAAAAAAA!" He cried out one last time before collapsing completely against Yakunan, sobbing hysterically.
"Shh…shhh, it's alright..." Yakunan rocked his son as he held him tightly, running soothing fingers through his messy locks in an attempt to calm him down even further. "It's ok, Xenudah. It was just a nightmare. Nothing more, nothing less..."
"Nnnngghhhhh!" Tears rolled down Xenudah's cheeks as his sobs continued to rack his body. His breath was harsh and rapid as he attempted to get enough air in his lungs, struggling to regain some control over his own shaking body.
Yakunan sighed, and ran a hand along the small of his back, feeling his heart ache at the sight of such distress coming from his precious boy. This couldn't have been easy for him; he deserved so much better than this life. And yet, somehow, despite how awful the situation truly was, Xenudah still clung desperately to him and refused to let go.
As long as he needed to be comforted, Yakunan wasn't going anywhere.
"I love you, Xenudah... Please, don't ever forget that." Yakunan pressed another gentle kiss onto Xenudah's forehead, his eyes watering slightly at how broken his son sounded. For once, Yakunan didn't feel like fighting anymore. The tears began falling freely from his face as he continued to rock the small child gently. "Please forgive me for being unable to take care of you... If only I could give you the things that you need... But there is nothing I can do about the past..."
Xenudah shook his head against his father's chest, holding onto him as though he would disappear at any moment, refusing to let go. Despite his words of wisdom, Yakunan knew that deep down inside, he wished he could be of more help.
"We'll take the Oni down together… I promise. I won't let them take you from me ever again. You belong to me, and I will always protect you. Do you understand? No matter what happens, whatever happens, I will be right beside you. I will never leave your side. Even when all the world has left, I will be there waiting for you, ready to follow you wherever you go..."
"A-Apa..."
"Yes, love... I'm here..." Yakunan's voice was soft, so fragile. "You...you have such a sensitive heart... I– If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be here... I would have fallen into despair, too..."
Xenudah murmured quietly. His grip loosened ever so slightly, and Yakunan couldn't help but let out a sob as well. "Don't leave me... Please... Don't let them take me again… I can't live like this anymore, Apa!" Xenudah shrieked, pushing his father back and curling into a trembling ball. "Why won't anything be right?!"
"Xenudah, please... Just breathe. Please calm down." Yakunan tried to keep his voice level. He knew this was hard for him to hear, especially when he was having such a vehement reaction, but he wanted Xenudah to know that he'd stand by him no matter what happened. "Just listen to my voice, little one. I promise I'll be by your side every step of the way."
"Calm down?! How can I?! How am I supposed to relax when all I can think about is the possibility of losing you?!" A tear escaped from the corner of Xenudah's eye. "How can I rest peacefully, knowing that everything I've worked so hard for is in jeopardy?"
"Xenudah–" Yakunan started.
"I don't know how long I can deal with this... Not knowing why you disappeared all of a sudden... Not knowing what will happen to us... All these horrible scenarios just keep happening and I..." A choked sob escaped his lips. "I don't want to wake up one day and find out that you're gone forever!" Silence descended upon the two as tears began flowing freely down Xenudah's cheeks. He curled in on himself, his hands grasping the sleeves of his kimono tightly. "I'm sorry..." His voice cracked as he finally managed to utter those two words. "I...I should never have dragged you into this... I...I ruined everything...!"
Yakunan frowned deeply. He hated seeing his little boy crying like this, but it was clear to him that his son needed something more comforting than his own fears and uncertainties. "No… Please... Stop beating yourself up over this." He reached up and wiped away a stray tear from his son's cheek. "I know you're terrified right now, love... But there is nothing either of us can do to change the past... Let's just move forward, please love…"
"You wouldn't understand, you never have! I can't keep living like this anymore! I can't move forward if I don't know if we are safe or not!" Xenudah shouted as he glared at him bitterly. "You said everything will be ok, but I– I don't believe you!" He turned away abruptly. "I'm so tired, Dad..." He whimpered weakly. "I hate this... I just want to go home..." He wrapped his thin arms around his midsection as he hugged his knees to his chest in silent misery.
"Xenudah..." Yakunan trailed off as he gently placed a hand on his son's shoulder. "I know it hurts... Please, listen to me, please…" He looked straight into his son's tear-filled, bloodshot eyes, and squeezed his shoulders in an attempt to console him. "There is nothing we can do about this. We cannot change it, and until we manage to solve this problem once and for all, we cannot stop worrying about our safety... So, please, try to calm down, and let me try to figure out a solution…"
"I can't keep…keep doing this…enduring this… It's too much, Apa… Everything is wrong… I've never felt so alone… Why can't you understand me?" Xenudah mumbled pitifully. "My mind is screaming at me over and over for you to come back, because I don't want to live without you..."
"I know..." Yakunan breathed, his brow creased. "But you have to trust me..."
"I–I…I can't." He buried his face in the crook of his elbow, his entire frame quivering as his breath hitched and hiccuped with each shuddery exhale. "This isn't fair… It feels like every time something good seems to start turning out for the best, it just has to fall apart in front of my eyes...!"
"Xenudah, it won't always be like this…" Yakunan spoke softly. "One day… One day everything will be just fine again... You must believe that, my dearest… There is no point in worrying about things that may never happen. We've done all we can for now."
"Why can't it be over right now?! Why…why do we have to wait?!" Xenudah sobbed desperately. "The only thing we did to get through this mess was hope! To stay alive…and now you just want to abandon me?! After everything that I did for you?!"
Yakunan took in a sharp inhale, his heart nearly dropping from his chest before he quickly regained composure.
No. I cannot allow myself to lose my temper like this… He thought to himself as he swallowed thickly, forcing himself to remain calm and collected. Xenudah needs me… He needs someone who will reassure him that he was making the right decision. As much as I despise the fact that he's suffering from these nightmares and paranoia attacks, I cannot afford to lose my patience. Xenudah needs me, and I refuse to fail him. If I cannot keep him safe, then nothing else matters. He had to keep reminding himself of that fact as he stared at Xenudah sadly, his expression contorting into anguish. He lowered his gaze, closing his eyes momentarily, his mind filled with countless memories from the times before everything fell apart.
"Xenu, sweetheart… I love you, even though we don't always see eye to eye sometimes. You know that…"
"…I know..."
"It's alright if you're afraid... That's totally valid…but you needn't be alone in thinking about it all." Yakunan whispered tenderly as he slowly pulled Xenudah closer to him. "You needn't worry. Nothing bad will happen to us. No matter what happens, you will never truly be alone… No matter what happens in our life together, I will still be there…"
"Apa...please stay..."
Yakunan softly nodded, his fragile heart breaking at his child's desperate plea. "Of course I'll stay." He sighed shakily as he held onto him. "I promised I would. And no matter what happens… No matter where we end up, I will make sure you're never alone. And I swear... The next time something happens... Whatever it might be… I will protect you, even if I have to die myself… I…" He took a deep, shaky breath. "I will protect you forever. I promise you that… I love you."
Xenudah whimpered and curled closer... "Sorry...for upsetting you..."
"Sweetheart, your feelings are valid too, you know... I understand why you feel this way…" Yakunan smiled softly as he brushed his son's hair. "We're both dealing with a very difficult situation... This is bound to be tough for me too... It'll take some time to process it all. But you'll never be alone. I'll never leave you... And I won't give up on you. Never again. Alright...?"
"I wish you could understand me more instead of pushing my feelings aside...instead of us fighting all the time… It makes me so angry." Xenudah murmured quietly, sniffling slightly. "Even though I know you didn't mean to hurt me, I still get so scared whenever you say those words."
"That's normal, son, I get scared too when you say these things…"
"…But it's not the same... I just feel so empty when you push me away, I… I just…" He paused, his throat feeling tight with unshed tears. "I just miss you so much… What if one of our arguments tears us apart completely? What if...What if you don't love me anymore?" Tears ran down his cheeks as he sobbed brokenly. "What am I supposed to do if that happens?"
Yakunan tightened his grip around his son as tears started streaming down his cheeks. His heart clenched painfully as he heard the desperation in his son's voice. Oh, how did I ever forget that he'd lost so much already… How did I ever ignore his painful cries of loneliness… How could I let that happen? Even with him being as old as he is now, there was still so much pain hidden within his heart… Just what did I do…? Why did it feel like I did nothing to help him…? I'm such a horrible parent…
"Dad, I'm so confused right now…" A faint whisper made its way to his ears. "Everything just keeps repeating... Everything keeps spinning in circles around and around and around like a broken record… Every time we move forward, the same thing happens again… Why can't anything work out for us now?" He let go of his father's arm as he stood up. "I– I don't know what's happening…" He shook his head violently as tears began to stream down his face. "I don't understand any of this…" He cried hopelessly as he turned around to look at him. "I don't understand anything anymore…" His lips trembled as he uttered these words.
For a moment, Yakunan simply remained silent, looking at his son in shock. Xenudah had never spoken about his problems with their relationship before.
Xenudah stood up, turning to his father sharply. "I'm scared of bringing this stuff up because I'm scared we're going to fight about it and–" He paused as he took a shuddering gasp of air. "And I'm scared it will all fall apart... What if we never find a resolution to this? What if we just keep spiraling down this road of madness until neither of us can get out of here in one piece..?!" Tears began to stream down his cheeks as he clutched at his hair tightly with his fists, letting out loud cries as he shook uncontrollably with fear and panic. "Please! Please, Dad… Can't you see what it's doing to me!? I feel like I'm losing my mind! I'm so tired of being afraid…! I'm tired of living inside of my own fears! I'm tired of constantly waiting and hoping that everything will be okay! I'm tired! I'm so, so tired of having to hide! Of having to pretend to be happy, to act like I'm alright so that nobody has to suffer even more than they already do! And yet… and yet…you're always doing this to me, and all I want is for you to acknowledge and finally let me share my thoughts for once! Can't you see how scared I am!? Can't you see just how lonely I feel?! I'm scared of all of this! I'm so scared! I don't know anymore! I don't know anymore…" He dropped his hands to his sides as his legs trembled beneath him, collapsing on the floor with a heavy thud. He sat there, sobbing into his hands as he continued to shake in despair. For a brief second, he lifted his head briefly to look at his father, his eyes widened by terror as he felt his throat tighten. His heart sank, and his breathing became erratic as his whole body seemed to turn numb from sheer terror and confusion.
"Oh, Xenu…" Yakunan breathed as he stared at his son, unable to tear his gaze from the boy. He couldn't believe what he saw. His little angel crying and shaking in utter devastation… What have I done… What kind of monster must I really be? Why didn't I think to try talking to him earlier…? He silently berated himself for being so stubborn and ignoring Xenudah's cries for attention... Why did I just continue to brush him off…? Why did I just sit back and watch him suffer all alone while I just ignored him…? How could I have been so stupid…? He thought sadly, feeling a bitter taste form in the back of his throat.
It took him another few seconds to realize what was happening—what he was seeing. There were so many mixed feelings and memories swirling through his brain. Anger, sadness, pain, betrayal…but also relief… Relief that he finally had an answer... Relief that he finally understood what was causing his son's anxiety. He glanced away from him, clenching his jaw shut firmly, trying to stop the onslaught of emotions coursing through his body, preventing himself from getting caught up in them. He felt so helpless as he watched his son struggle and cry for help, yet he found it hard to breathe properly. His mind was racing at a million miles per hour, each memory playing repeatedly in his mind... Every single moment he'd experienced with his son... Every single word he spoke about his experiences, about his struggles, about the darkness that surrounded them, about how he missed the only person he had ever cared about… They had all played a huge part in his decisions, in the decisions that ended up leading them to this point…
So, he owed his son an explanation. He owed his son an apology. He owed his son… Slowly, his gaze returned to the crying child beside him, and his heart broke once more.
The image of his beloved, broken, and suffering son flashed before his mind once more. It brought tears to his eyes again as he stared at him helplessly. It reminded him so much of how their relationship used to be… When they were young. So naïve. Too innocent, too pure and sweet… But then again, that naivety was slowly starting to fade over the years… They grew older and wiser… Their love strengthened and flourished over time… Yet, somewhere along the way, they lost sight of who they truly were and changed. Xenudah's gentle nature became cold, his kindness dimmed… Until it faded entirely.
"My love… You don't have to force yourself. You don't have to be strong anymore. Just come to me. I promise I'll listen if you just tell me what's troubling you. Just tell me what happened to you during my absence." He let out a sigh. "Xenudah…" He whispered quietly as he lowered himself down on the ground, his voice barely audible to his ears as he knelt beside his weeping son. "Please talk to me… I'm sorry… I failed to notice what was happening, and I failed to take proper care of you…" He gently wrapped both of his arms around Xenudah's shoulders, pulling him close and hugging him as best as he could without hurting him.
"I just want to feel heard..." Xenudah whispered, too emotionally exhausted to muster the strength to speak up louder than a mere whisper. "Why does no matter what I say or ask you, it's like you refuse to hear anything I have to say like you don't care about me... Like you hate me… I know you love me, but it feels like you don't… I need you to try harder... To show me that you still care enough to listen... I… I love you so much… I've spent so long hiding, but not anymore... I can't hold it in anymore... The burden is killing me…"
It hurt Yakunan to hear his son saying those words. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. It almost made him sick with guilt. He hated to see his son in so much pain, and he hated himself even more for causing it. He wished he wasn't blind. "Honey, I'm sorry…" He whispered softly, tightening his embrace slightly as tears started pouring from his eyes. He knew that his silence caused his son so much worry and stress. If there was anything he could have done differently, he would have. "You're right. I don't know what it means for you to be afraid or frustrated, but I can assure you… I do love you. That hasn't changed."
Xenudah sighed sadly. It felt like something he should be able to hear after all he had said in their past conversations. Hearing those three simple words from him felt like a miracle to him. After spending so many years hiding his true emotions, hearing his father say those loving words to him felt like a dream… It was hard for him to believe it, so he was afraid he was going mad... Still, hearing those words made him feel so relieved. For the first time since before their initial separation, his father actually listened to him. He didn't have the slightest idea how he managed to convince him of that, but he wouldn't question it.
Yakunan sighed as he rubbed his son's back gently as he tried to contain his anger and bitterness towards himself for failing to show his son any affection and understanding... It was difficult to accept, but he knew that there was nothing he could do about it now. His actions had caused a rift between him and his son , a rift that needed to be fixed before things could ever go back to the way they used to be.
He needed to change for the better. All he wanted was for his son to forgive him, and for them to move forward together. He didn't want to make Xenudah miserable or angry. He didn't want to upset him. He just wanted to protect him from all the pain that the future held for the two of them.
But he never imagined it would lead them to this day.
He had tried everything and everything in his power to prevent his son from falling apart, but it didn't work in the end... This was something beyond him, something that he could never understand or control…
"Let's start over..." Yakunan murmured as his grip tightened around his son even further. "I'm… so sorry... I really did miss you so much, Xenu... All I wanted was to be there for you whenever you needed me... But... I let myself become consumed by my rage and hurt instead, and you suffered all alone, and...and I can never forgive myself for it… I was so selfish back then… And… It's because of that selfishness and pain that you're so scared… Because you're afraid that you won't be loved by someone ever again. Because I abandoned you when you needed me the most… I failed you… I hurt you..." Tears began to fall from his eyes once more as he shook his head weakly. "...And I am so sorry… Please forgive me... I swear to you... I will be better... I promise… I won't make that mistake again…"
Xenudah closed his eyes tightly and nodded. "A-Apa..." He whispered softly, letting his father hug him tighter as he cried into his shoulder. Even though it hurt to feel his father's tears soak through the cloth on his shoulder, the sensation somehow brought him relief as he continued to sob quietly with his face buried in his chest. "You really do care... Thank you..." He sniffled before continuing. "I love you..." He looked up and smiled slightly. "Thank you for listening... I've been waiting for someone to listen to me for so long... And… it's nice to finally have someone to talk to…"
"You deserved the world, Xenudah... I just didn't know how to give it to you... I was always too busy focusing on myself…" A tear slid down his cheek as he pressed his lips against his son's forehead. He pulled away, holding Xenudah by the shoulders as he gazed at him lovingly. "I'm sorry," he muttered softly. "But I'm so proud of you, you've grown so much... I wish I could spend every single second I had being there for you instead of leaving you alone…"
"You were gone for so long…" Xenudah mumbled softly as he averted his father's concerning gaze. "It completely screwed me over… I had been so lonely all those days… I couldn't sleep at night… I couldn't eat… I couldn't think… I was so tired, and I kept having nightmares… I was so scared, and I was confused… I just wanted you to come home, and I thought…maybe…you'd be able to fix everything… Fix my problems… Fix my broken heart… Fix my dreams… Fix my life… Fix you… Fix us… But you never came… And I just…" He inhaled deeply as his lower lip trembled. "...I just gave up…"
"Oh, Xenu…"
"I just… I missed you so much…" He closed his eyes tightly to keep himself from crying as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. "I was terrified of everything you told me that one day… Everything you promised me… Was just a lie." He sniffed softly. "And that hurt a lot… I thought that maybe… Maybe you didn't care about me at all… Because why else would you leave?" He took another deep breath as he clenched his fists tightly. "So, I started to hate myself… And I just…couldn't stop myself from thinking about it…" He bit his bottom lip as a few stray tears fell from his bright indigo eyes as he tried to fight back his overwhelming sadness and grief. He felt like he was suffocating.
"I just… I hated myself so much!" Xenudah's body shook as he hugged his legs to himself while burying his head in between them as a few silent sobs escaped from his mouth. "I hated myself so much… And it hurt so bad, and… And I just… Why did it have to hurt this much? It was all my fault, and I was so scared… And I kept thinking… What if I just stayed away from you forever? What if I never talked to you again?"
"Xenudah…"
"And then the darkness in my element...I let it consume me...I hated you... It didn't help that Shiren had a one-night stand with me and took Kymi with her without looking back because she knew I was related to you... And that's when I broke... As much as I wanted you back, I also just wanted you to suffer... I wanted you to die... I just wanted you dead!" He yelled angrily, tears streaming down his pale cheeks, as he gripped the fabric of Yakunan's shirt tightly, trembling uncontrollably. "Why would you do that to me?! I thought I could trust you with my life! You were supposed to be my dad... I trusted you... So, why?!"
Yakunan shivered slightly, knowing that this conversation was bound to happen someday, but at least it happened sooner than expected. He felt like his own heart was breaking inside his chest. He could only imagine how his son must have felt when he found out about all of this and what happened with Shiren and Kymi. Knowing that his son went through all of that, he was filled with guilt as well. All he wanted to do was apologize for everything that had happened but he knew there wasn't anything he could say.
The only thing he could do was hold onto his son tightly.
Xenudah slowly lifted his head up to look at his father. His eyes were glossy from the amount of tears he had shed, and he wiped them off with his sleeve. However, he could still see the guilt and regret that he saw in his father's eyes, and the fear that lingered within his expression. "And then you came back…but I was too far gone... You tried to reach out to me, but I turned away from you… I hurt you! Attacked you! Nearly killed you and the Kamiare family for tearing my life apart! I hated you...so...freaking...badly… But at the same time...I couldn't hate you, no matter how badly I wanted to…because all I wanted from the start was to have you back in my life…"
"Sweetheart…"
"But I was so broken and scared that you'd leave me again...That you'd abandon me just like everyone else has done…" His voice cracked as he spoke. "So, I stopped caring about you. I pushed you away because I wanted to make sure I wouldn't get hurt again… I thought I was stronger than that... And now...now, it seems, I was wrong... " He let out a shaky sigh as a tear rolled down his cheek and landed right on his father's chest. "But... I want to fix things now. I want to be your son again… I want to be happy… I want to be loved again… I'm glad you listened to me… I need you, so much... More than anyone else... I don't want to be left alone anymore... Please... Don't let me go..."
For a brief moment, Yakunan's eyes widened slightly in surprise before closing briefly as a single tear escaped his own eye, sliding down his cheek as he held onto his son tightly and squeezed him, pulling him closer as he rested his chin atop of his son's head. "My little boy… My sweet little angel… I'll never let you go… Never..." He murmured softly. "I swear it on my own life…" He sighed sadly. "Please let me tell you that I love you... Let me try to show you I'm sorry… That I'm not abandoning you this time…"
"I know that now... I'm just...slightly in denial... I'm afraid to believe it... I don't want to hurt you again, dad." Xenudah sighed, wiping his eyes as he looked at his father with pleading eyes. "Can we just stay like this for a while...?" he asked. "Please... Hold me as you used to… Just like old times…"
"Of course…" Yakunan nodded gently, wrapping his arms around his son's trembling frame, and pulled him close, pressing his lips firmly to the top of his head. "I missed you so much, Xenudah… I'm so sorry... I should have never left you, baby…" He whispered quietly, feeling helpless. "I love you so much... And nothing is ever going to change my mind about that… No matter how much pain you're going through, or where you end up… The way I see it… We both suffered from our mistakes. We both deserve forgiveness... If not for you, then for me. For everything I have done to you." He swallowed thickly. "I failed to protect you… I'm sorry. So, so sorry," he added as a few more tears fell from his eye and trailed down his face. "I love you... I really do."
"I love you too."
"And I know I hurt you terribly..."
"I forgive you, Apa..." Xenudah stared into Yakunan's watery deep blue eyes with a desperate longing. "Just please...please don't do it again…"
Yakunan nodded silently, carrying his son closer, and back onto the bed, before wrapping him in a fluffy blanket.
"Apa..." Xenu mumbled, curling up on his side towards his father as he placed his hand over his chest, letting his head fall against Yakunan's shoulder while he closed his eyes, hugging him tightly. "It hurts... So, so much...I'm not strong enough... To deal with this… This hurts so much..." His body shook with every emotion that consumed his whole being as he buried his face against his father's chest, trying to keep the tears in check. He whimpered as a sob escaped from his mouth. "This hurts so much…"
"Shhh..." Yakunan tightened his arms around his son. "Shhhh...I know it does…" He whispered softly. He rubbed his back as he slowly rocked back and forth. "It will get better… You're going to get through this… I promise..." He sniffled slightly. "If there's anything I can do… Anything at all, please tell me."
"What am I supposed to do? Apa... AAAAAPAAAAAAAA!" He screamed in frustration loudly as he covered his face with his hands and tried desperately to fight back his painful emotions. "Help me! Someone please help me... I can't handle this... How can I be strong if I feel like this? How can I survive if I can't even hold myself together?" His voice cracked.
"Oh, sweetheart…" Yakunan frowned worriedly. "You need to take care of yourself first. Let's focus on getting stronger again. After we heal from this trauma, you can take care of yourself. Right now, taking care of yourself needs to take priority."
"I can't…"
"Yes, you can. Everything is going to be okay. You're not alone anymore, my son…"
As Xenudah cried, his father gently combed through his son's soft hair with his fingers, continuing to whisper comforting words into his ear as he rocked him back and forth in a gentle manner. At some point, Xenu finally managed to calm himself down, although he remained huddled up against Yakunan's body. When his breathing became steady once again, he raised his head from his father's shoulder and glanced upwards at him before curling closer and finally falling asleep once more.