DISCLAIMER: HG CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME
While Katniss walks with Boggs away from the encampment, she begins thinking how she has never seen Boggs so angry before. The minute he returned from his phone call with the President, he began barking orders to begin a two-person round the clock guard on Peeta.
"He will try and kill me anyway, especially now that we are here. Where there are so many bad memories to set him off" Katniss says.
"I'll keep him contained Katniss" he says to her.
"Why does Coin want me dead? Why now?"
"She denies she does."
"You and I both know that is not true. And I'm guessing….you have a theory as to why."
Boggs gives Katniss a long, hard look before he answers. "Here's as much as I know. The President doesn't like you; she never did. It was Peeta she wanted rescued from the arena, but no one else agreed. It made matters worse when you forced her to give the other Victors immunity. But even that could be overlooked in view of how well you've performed."
"Then what is it?"
"Soon, in the near future, this war will end. And a new leader will be chosen."
Katniss laughs and says, "No one thinks I'm going to be the leader."
"No, they don't" he says with the slightest smile forming on his face. His face then becomes serious again as he says, "But you will throw your support to someone, would it be President Coin? Or someone else?"
"I don't know, I never thought about it" she says honestly.
"If your immediate answer is not Coin, then you are a threat. You are the face of the rebellion. You may have more influence than any other single person. I think the most you have ever done is tolerate her."
"So, she will kill me to shut me up?"
"She does not need you anymore. As she already told you, your primary objective, to unite the Districts, has been achieved. These current propos could be done without you. There's only one last thing you could do to add fire to the rebellion."
"Die" Katniss says quietly.
"Yes. Making you a martyr is good for the cause, gives something for people to fight for."
Katniss looks down, trying not to show Boggs the overwhelming emotion she is feeling. Knowing Coin could not be trusted, she never thought ending up in District 13 would result in yet another leader wanting her dead.
"But that's not going to happen, not on my watch. I plan for you to have a long life soldier Everdeen."
"Why? You don't owe me anything."
"Because you've earned it."
She nods at him. Appreciative of Boggs for helping to ensure she is safe, she is frustrated, for she knows she cannot steal his Holo and take off. She cannot betray him, especially now.
Right before she turns to head back, she hears Boggs say, "Katniss-one more thing."
"Yeah" she says turning back to face him.
"I plan on telling soldier Jackson that I will take each rotation to watch Peeta with soldier Hawthorne."
"Okay" Katniss says, unsure why Boggs was telling her this.
"I can't trust him."
"Because of me" Katniss says in aggravated tone.
"He has a temper. I haven't forgotten how he broke my nose. The minute Peeta makes a move, I know Gale will not hesitate to kill him. If that happens, this will not help us when it comes to President Coin. What the two of you do in private, is not my business, but it is my business to keep everyone safe."
Immediately thinking of her Mother and Prim back in 13 and her need to keep them safe, she says, "I'll talk to Gale."
"Let's head back to the squad" he says.
Katniss forces herself to not scream at Peeta when she arrives back at camp and sees him calmly pitching his tent. Fed up with how one minute he is as cool as can be, and the next minute, morphs into the insane person set out to kill her.
"What time is my watch?" Katniss asks Jackson.
"I didn't put you in the rotation."
"Why not?" Katniss says angrily.
"I don't think you can really kill him, if it came to it."
Katniss raises her voice so the whole squad can hear, "I wouldn't be shooting Peeta. He's gone. Like Johanna said, I'd just be shooting one of the Capitol's mutts."
"That does not help get you on the rotation either."
"Put her in the rotation, and I want to talk to you about my rotation" Boggs says to Jackson, and the two of them head off to talk alone.
Gale comes up to Katniss and the two of them head to a private area to talk. Once they are a safe distance where no one can hear he says, "Do you want me to kill him?"
Angered by his bluntness, for Boggs was spot on with his assessment of what Gale would do, she is bothered by the brutality of his offer. "I can deal with him" she says in a tone indicating her feelings.
"You're angry."
"How can you just….offer to kill Peeta!"
"I heard what you said to Jackson, he's gone."
"I didn't mean it! I wanted to hurt him like he's hurt me."
"So, if it came down to it, you couldn't kill him?"
"I don't know."
"I know you are planning on taking off. We have our paper maps of the Capitol. All you need is to get your hands on a Holo."
"Is it that obvious?" Katniss asks, unsurprised that he has picked up on her preparations.
"None of them know you like I do, not even him."
Knowing that his words rang true she says, "No, not even Peeta."
"You are not planning on leaving me behind, are you?"
The truth was that Katniss was planning on leaving Gale behind. Wanting to face Snow alone, she couldn't risk the person she loved becoming one of the Capitol's hostages. Couldn't risk him being hijacked or worse. Barely making it in 13, then dealing with the stress of what happened to Peeta, if it happened to Gale, she is certain she would take out her nightlock pill and swallow it without hesitation. She was at peace with herself if she didn't come back. But she realizes, perhaps having her hunting partner watching her back was not a bad idea, at least for part of the way.
"I can't stop you from coming, can I?"
He grins at her and says, "Nope."
Later that night at dinner, Katniss notices that the squad members and television crew give her unfriendly looks as they eat. Confused by the sudden change, she quickly figures out by her phone call with Haymitch why they have turned on her.
"What are you trying to do? Provoke him into an attack?" Haymitch says angrily.
"Of course not! I just want him to leave me alone" Katniss says defensively.
"Well, he can't. Not after what the Capitol has put him through. Coin might have sent him there hoping he'd kill you, but Peeta doesn't know that. He doesn't understand so you can't blame him-"
"I don't!" Katniss yells interrupting him.
"Yes, you do. You keep punishing him for things over and over that are out of his control. Try to put yourself in his shoes, if you'd been taken by the Capitol and hijacked, and then tried to kill Peeta, is this the way he'd be treating you?"
Katniss stays silent, thinking over Haymitch's words. She knows Peeta would act in the exact opposite, doing whatever he could to get her back. He wouldn't shut her out, he wouldn't abandon her, or greet her with hostility.
But one thing that is different for her than for Peeta, that has always been different, is that his feelings have always been stronger. Knowing that her feelings for Peeta went beyond friendship, what she has with Gale was stronger than she ever had with Peeta. It took her a while to realize it, and while she still has not told Gale she loves him, one thing she knows, is part of the reason she is shutting Peeta out, is to save him from learning the truth about her and Gale should he someday return to the way he was. Not wanting to hurt him, it was easier to abandon him than try to help him.
"You and me, we made a deal to try and save him. Remember?"
When she does not answer, Haymitch curtly says, "Try and remember" before disconnecting the call.
Katniss's behavior towards Peeta changes in the coming days, instead of trying to hurt him, she helps him. Along with the other soldiers and crew they help Peeta play a game he begins calling "real or not real" in order to help him figure out illusion from reality.
"Don't trust them, don't go back. Kill Peeta. Do what you came to do" Boggs says to Katniss as he takes his last breath. Accidentally setting a pod off, his legs were blown off and he somehow managed to find the strength to transfer the Holo to her.
"Boggs? Boggs!" Katniss yells. The shock and fear of the last few moments catching up to her. The squad manages to get into an apartment, with Peeta relapsing and attacking Soldier Mitchell which resulted in his death.
Peeta now locked in a closet, Katniss feared the worst when she did not see Gale, but he arrives inside the apartment last, and once she sees him, she feels her heart begin to slow down.
"We need to move now! We just set off a street full of pods. You can bet they've got us on surveillance tapes" Finnick says.
"Our radio communicators went dead almost immediately. But I can get us back to camp. Give me the Holo" Jackson says to Katniss reaching for the device.
"No. Boggs gave it to me" Katniss says, holding the Holo to her chest.
"Why would he do that" Jackson snaps.
In that moment, Katniss decides to come up with an answer that she hopes Jackson will believe. "I'm on a special mission for President Coin. Boggs was the only one who knew about it."
She sees Jackson is not convinced. "To do what?" she asks.
"To assassinate President Snow before our population losses are too great."
"I don't believe you. As your current commander, I order you to transfer the Holo to me now!"
"No" Katniss says calmly.
Katniss sees guns drawn immediately, half of them pointed at her, half at Jackson. She sees Gale begin to move in towards Jackson when Cressida suddenly says, "It's true. This is why Plutarch wants it televised. He thinks if we can film the Mockingjay assassinate Snow, it will end the war."
Jackson then points to the closet with her gun and asks, "And why is he here?"
Unable to think quickly to explain Peeta's arrival, Cressida speaks up again and says, "Because Peeta's interviews were filmed in Snow's personal quarters. Plutarch thinks Peeta can be of use as a guide in a location we have little knowledge of."
Not waiting for Jackson to answer Gale says, "We have to go! I go where Katniss goes, if you don't want to come, head back to camp, but let's move."
And Katniss angers Jackson again when she asks the soldier to help teach her how to use the Holo.
The squad watches as the Capitol have declared Katniss, Gale, Finnick, and the rest of the squad dead on the emergency broadcast.
"Finally, a bit of luck" Leeg 1says.
But Katniss does not look at the announcement as luck, thinking of her Mother and Prim and the devastation they must be feeling right now. She thinks of Hazelle, Rory, Vick, and Posy, the last footage shown of Gale alone on the street shooting frantically.
Her heart breaking, she begins thinking of her former mentor, and of Annie.
Gale asks what their next move is, but before anyone answers they are taken aback by Peeta's response; "Our next move…is to kill me."
"Don't be ridiculous" Jackson says dismissively.
"I just murdered a member of our squad! Katniss is right. I'm the monster, I'm the mutt. I'm the one Snow has turned into a weapon!" Katniss sees the tears form and begin to run down his face.
"It's not your fault Peeta" Finnick says gently.
"You can't take me with you. It's only a matter of time before I kill someone else. Do you think you'd be doing me a favor by sending me back to Snow?
Katniss begins thinking of the lyrics to the hanging tree but her thoughts are interrupted when she hears Gale say, "I'll kill you before that happens. I promise."
Katniss sees that Peeta thinks over Gale's offer then says, "What if you are not there to do it? I want one of those poison pills like the rest of you have."
Katniss feels the atmosphere of the arena all around her, as if she never left. Once again battling not only her own survival, but Peeta's as well. Knowing Snow would get great satisfaction seeing her kill him. To have Peeta's death on her conscious for the rest of her life, whatever is left of it.
But she wasn't going to let that happen.
"It's not about you. We are on a mission and you are necessary to it" she says to him before asking the group if they were hungry.
As they pass around fancy cookies, they see Coin appear, interrupting Snow's broadcast.
"Dead or alive, Katniss Everdeen will remain the face of this rebellion. If ever you waiver in your resolve, think of the Mockingjay, and in her you will find the strength you need to rid Panem of its oppressors" Coin says in the last lines of her speech.
"I had no idea how much I meant to her" Katniss says, and Gale laughs in response, everyone else giving them a questioning look.
They then see Katniss's picture appear on screen looking fierce but beautiful with a bunch of flames flickering behind.
Snow then comes back on screen and says, "Tomorrow morning, when we pull Katniss Everdeen's body from the ashes, we will see exactly who the Mockingjay is. A dead girl who could save no one, not even herself."
"Except you won't find her" Finnick says.
"We can get a head start on them at least" Katniss says. With Jackson's help, Katniss looks at the Holo and her heart sinks, for the number of pods has increased significantly.
"Any ideas?" Katniss asks.
"Let's start by ruling out possibilities. The street is not a possibility" Finnick says.
"The rooftops are just as bad as the street" Leeg 1 says.
"We can't move up, we can't move laterally, that leaves just one option" Jackson says.
"Underground" Gale says.
As they move through the tunnels, Katniss thinks how she hates being underground. How it reminds her of the mines and 13. To make matters worse, she forced Peeta to join them. Wanting to stay put in the second apartment they found shelter in, he begged her to let him go. Understanding his actions, she does not know if her refusal to let him stay behind was because she cared about him too much or that she didn't want to give Snow the satisfaction of being the one to end Peeta's life.
Two hours later, the group sleeps as Katniss and Cressida keep watch on Peeta. As she talks with him, beginning to play 'real or not real' she begins to hear her name echoing throughout the tunnels.
Realizing that Snow knows they are down here, she sees Peeta's eyes go wide in alarm. "Katniss! Get out of here" he says, the fear evident in his voice.
She hesitates, she can see he is alarmed, but not insane. Immediately raising her bow out of caution she says, "Why? What's making that sound?"
"I don't know. Only that it has to kill you. Run! Get out!"
The entire squad now awake and alert, Katniss lowers her bow and looks at the anxious faces looking at her. "Whatever it is, its after me. It might be a good time to split up" she says.
"I'm not leaving you!" Gale says immediately.
"We're your guards" Jackson adds.
"And your crew" Cressida reminds her.
"Okay" she says, then hands her gun to Pollux, as an overwhelming feeling of dread builds faster and faster inside of her.
As Katniss emerges from the pipe, her mind is racing. Unable to process what has just happened, she looks around and sees that only she, Gale, Peeta, Pollux, and Cressida are all that remains. Jackson gone, Leeg 1 gone, Finnick gone, along with all the others.
Knowing that the loss of her friend will materialize later, she says, "We can't stop here."
Seeing his injury, Cressida ties a bandage around Gale's neck and Katniss helps her get Gale to his feet. As they stand, Katniss sees Peeta huddled against the wall.
"Peeta" she says going over to him. He does not respond. She moves closer, wondering if he has blacked out. When she crouches in front of him, she sees his cuffed hands in front of his face. She pulls them away and he whispers, "Leave me, I can't hang on."
"Yes, you can!"
But he shakes his head in disagreement and says, "I'm losing it. I'll go mad."
Knowing if that happens, she will have to kill him. In a last-ditch effort to defeat Snow from taking Peeta away from her, she leans forward and hugs him, holding him tightly. Feeling him shudder, she whispers into his ear, "Don't let him win."
She pulls away and sees him panting hard as he tries to fight the rage forming in his head, "I don't want to…."
She clenches his hands in hers to the point of pain and says, "Stay with me."
"Always" he murmurs as his breathing returns to normal. Feeling a slight pain of guilt, for she realizes what this response means, she pushes the thought from her mind as she stands up and asks Pollux how far the street was.
Knowing they are underground in a building somewhere; they emerge in a utility room. Katniss is startled when she sees a woman appear, her magenta hair fluffed up like a cloud and decorated in butterflies.
As the woman begins to open her mouth, Katniss shoots her in the heart with an arrow immediately.
Cressida leads them to Tigris's apartment. Now only blocks from Snow's mansion, Katniss knows the end is near.
But seeing that Gale needed medical attention immediately for his neck wound was still bleeding and that he was about to collapse, she decides to be the one to stitch him up once they help get him onto his back and strip off the top of his uniform.
She grits her teeth as she puts in a row of jagged sutures. It does not look pretty but its functional. Once it is wrapped and she sees he swallows the needed painkillers, she leans down and says, "You can rest now, it's safe here."
"Katniss" he says, the tone of his voice indicating he was still in a lot of pain.
"Shhh, try to sleep" and she leans in and kisses him softly. Once she pulls away, she runs her fingers through his hair as he passes out.
She the tends to Peeta's wrists. Unsure if he saw her moment with Gale, she comes to the realization he most likely did by his slight snap at her when she tells him he must keep his bandages clean.
He tells her he is exhausted afterwards and as with Gale; she tells him to go to sleep.
It is not until about two hours later that sleep overtakes her as well.
The next day, maybe due to fatigue, the stress of the last 24 hours, or both, Katniss begins to think through her plan to assassinate Snow and concludes it is a stupid one. Once everyone awakens, she confesses that there was no special mission from Coin for her to kill Snow.
There is a long pause before Gale says, "Katniss, we all knew you were lying about Coin sending you to assassinate Snow."
"You knew, but the soldiers from 13 didn't."
"Do you really think Jackson believed you had orders from Coin? She trusted Boggs, and he gave the Holo to you" Cressida says.
"I never even told Boggs what I planned to do."
"You told everyone in command! It was one of your conditions for being the Mockingjay. I kill Snow-remember?"
"But not like this, this has been a complete disaster."
"I think they would consider this a highly successful mission. We've infiltrated the enemy, we've managed to get ourselves all over the Capitol's news, and we've thrown the whole city into chaos trying to find us" Gale says.
"Trust me, Plutarch's thrilled" Cressida says.
"That's because Plutarch doesn't care who dies. Not as long as his Games are a success" and Katniss reminds herself she cannot become them, hating herself even more than she already did for she is now killing innocent people.
Later that day, Tigris has them come up from the cellar to the main floor of her shop to eat. When Katniss asks Tigris if the rebels have made a statement today, she shakes her head no.
"I doubt Coin knows what to do with me now that I'm still alive."
Tigris laughs and says, "No one knows what to do with you girlie."
Right before they go to bed that night, it is decided that the group will split up before Katniss becomes bait. Katniss begins to wonder if she should give herself up once she is split up from the others.
She also knows though, that Gale will insist the two of them stay together.
She awakens after a few hours of sleep and is surprised to overhear a quiet conversation taking place between Peeta and Gale.
"Thanks for the water" Peeta says.
"No problem, I wake up ten times a night anyway" Gale says.
"To make sure Katniss is still here?"
"Something like that" Gale replies.
She hears a long pause before Peeta says, "That was funny what Tigris said, about no one knowing what to do with her."
"Well, we never have" Gale says.
She hears them both begin to laugh. She begins thinking how strange it was to hear them in conversation. Almost like friends. Which they most certainly were not. Never have been, although they are not enemies either.
"She loves you. You know that right?" Peeta says. "She as good as told me after they whipped you."
She hears another long pause then hears Gale say, "I know Katniss's feelings towards me. But….I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then."
"You couldn't. She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They matter more to her than her life."
Unbeknownst to her, Peeta's words to Gale would replay over and over in her mind in the months to come.
A/N: Thanks as always for the reviews!