DISCLAIMER: HG CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME
A/N: Thanks as always for the reviews! I appreciate the kind words that you have faith for the Everthorne fandom my trying to improve the ending of Mockingjay *insert wink and smiley face*
The next morning when Katniss wakes, she is still sitting in her chair. Woken up due to the smell of Greasy Sae's cooking, and her Granddaughter's laughter, for as Katniss referred to it, her Granddaughter, 'lived in her own world.'
Katniss shifts in the chair and pulls the shawl up over her body. It is still cold in the house; she turns her head and sees that it is snowing outside. She learned on the Hovercraft ride back with Haymitch it was now the end of February.
Sae brings to her eggs and toast and pulls up a seat beside the chair. Katniss feels Sae's eyes on her and realizes pretty quickly that she was not leaving until she ate all of her food.
"When did you return to 12?" Katniss asks as she chews her eggs.
"Before your trial" Sae says curtly.
Greasy Sae's Granddaughter comes over and picks up a ball of blue yarn from the knitting basket that sits near the fireplace.
"Put it back, now!" Sae shouts, knowing that the knitting basket belonged to Katniss's Mother.
"It's okay, she can have it, no one knits in this house anymore" Katniss says in a matter-of-fact tone.
She watches as her Granddaugther grins and scampers out of the kitchen.
Once Katniss has finished eating, Sae takes her plate and cleans the dishes and leaves. She comes back at dinnertime, cooking for Katniss again, and again, cleans up for her. Heading back to the last house on the end in the row of houses on Katniss's side that they are now occupying.
Once darkness comes, Katniss takes solace sitting in front of the fire. She hears the phone ring, it rings and rings, figuring it rings about 20 times before finally stopping.
She knows it is Gale calling, for last night the phone rang at the same exact time shortly after she arrived. Not able to get up from the chair last night, she finds herself in the same predicament again, lacking the motivation to do anything else but sit and stare into the flames.
One Month Later
"See you tomorrow" Sae says as Katniss sits in her chair and stares into the flames. No longer needing the shawl, she sits with her legs crossed up in the chair. She closes her eyes but knows she won't be able to drift off to sleep because in exactly 8 minutes, the phone will start ringing, and continue to ring for five minutes straight.
Greasy Sae informed Katniss shortly after their daily routine started that he has called her, asking her how life in 12 is, and how everyone is, and that each time, the call ends the same, "How is Katniss?". Each time Sae tells him the same thing, that there is no change.
Haymitch never visits, and Katniss has begun to wonder if he left District 12 and gone to live somewhere else. But she knows most likely, he is passed out on his sofa, or the floor.
Some days, Katniss tries to figure out her next move as she sits by the fire. Knowing there is no obstacle now if she wants to take her life, she realizes she seems to be waiting for something. Or someone.
The next day when she wakes to the smell of Sae's cooking, she sees it is bright outside, the sun shining today. Now almost April, Katniss knows the birds are returning to 12, or what used to be 12.
"Spring's in the air today, you ought to get out. Go hunting" Sae says as she hands Katniss her food.
She has not left the house; she hasn't even left the kitchen except to go to the small bathroom a few steps away. Wearing the same clothes she left the Capitol in, all she does, is sit by the fire. She either stares at the fire or the unopened letters that have now piled up on the mantel.
"I don't have a bow" Katniss replies.
"Check down the hall."
Once Greasy Sae is gone, Katniss continues to sit, but several hours later, she finally gets up, and begins walking down the hall of her house. Once she reaches the study, she finds a box and looks inside. She sees her Father's hunting jacket, the plant book, her parents wedding photo, and the locket given to her from Peeta.
She also sees two bows and a sheath of arrows Gale rescued on the night of the firebombing in 13 on the desk. She puts on the jacket and leaves the rest untouched.
She goes over to the sofa and lays down, sleeping through dinner and Gale's call. When she awakens later, she sees it is dark out and finds a plate of food that is now cold sitting on the coffee table in front of her. She takes her plate of food and nibbles on it as she moves to the kitchen and takes a seat in front of the fire.
She is not sure how much time passes before she hears a knock at the door. Knowing it is not Greasy Sae for she would just come in, she sets the plate of food down in the sink and moves very quietly in her sock feet towards the door. Knowing it cannot be Snow or his Peacekeepers, the ghosts of her past still linger, and she opens the door only a slight crack to see who was behind it.
She sees Haymitch on the other side. Looking his usual self-drunk, but functional.
"What do you want?" Katniss says cautiously.
She sees Haymitch's face contort in discomfort before he says, "Hello to you too sweetheart. I just….wanted to make sure you are okay."
"I'm okay" Katniss says quickly, too quickly for Haymitch's liking.
"Look Katniss, I know I have not come to visit. And I know this probably won't mean anything to you but, I know how hard this is for you. If anyone can truly understand it's me. I know this is a loss, one never recovers from. I hope you can….find a better way to cope than I did. Find a better way to function. I came here today, to tell you….I love you. There's only two people since my family and girlfriend died who I care about; you and Peeta."
She gives him a slight nod and shuts the door in his face and goes back to the sofa.
The next morning, she goes into the bathroom and looks at herself in the mirror and sees her hair is matted into clumps. She goes upstairs and into her room. The room is quiet, too quiet and she opens the windows then rips off her clothes and heads straight into the bathroom and takes a long, hot shower.
After her shower is finished, she goes into her closet and puts on a new pair of clothes and combs her hair for thirty minutes straight and puts on her Father's jacket and heads downstairs. She takes her old dirty clothes and places them into the fire and begins filing down her fingernails.
As she eats her eggs, she turns to Greasy Sae and says, "How's Gale?"
"Doing well. Sounds like he has some fancy job. He's been on television."
Katniss nods as she chews, not voicing what she is thinking at this moment, wondering how many girls in District 2 have flirted with him, and if he has kissed any of them.
As if reading her thoughts, Greasy Sae says, "He's planning to come visit as soon as he can. Be nice if you answered his calls or opened his letters."
"I'm going hunting today" Katniss says in response.
"Well, I wouldn't mind some fresh game."
With her bow and arrows ready, Katniss leaves her house for the first time since arriving back in District 12. As she walks through what remains of 12, she finds herself near the square, and sees teams of people wearing masks and gloves with horse-drawn carts. She sees they are gathering the remains of the dead. She sees a cart parked in front of the Mayor's house.
She then hears someone call out to her, and recognizes Thom, Gale's old crewmate from the mines. She remembers seeing Thom in District 13 but realizes he must have come back.
"Did they find anyone in there?" Katniss asks as she walks over to him.
"Whole family, and the two people who worked for them."
She thinks of Madge, her only other friend in District 12 besides Gale. She thinks of the pin Madge gifted her that started the name Panem gave her.
"I thought maybe, since he was the mayor…."
"I don't think being the mayor of 12 put the odds in his favor" Thom says solemnly.
She nods and keeps moving, careful not to look in the back of the cart. All through the areas that was once the town and the Seam, it is the same-the reaping of the dead. As she heads near the ruins of her old house, the road becomes thick with carts. She sees the meadow is gone, and a deep pit has been dug, lining it with bones, a mass grave for the people of the Seam. Her people.
She walks around the hole and enters the woods at her usual spot. While the fence is no longer charged, she sees long branches propped up on it to keep out predators. She wants to go to the lake, but she is so weak she barely makes it to her old meeting spot, her and Gale's.
She sits on the rock where Cressida last filmed them, and she misses his absence-the space too wide without his body beside hers. Several times she closes her eyes and counts to ten, thinking that when she opens them, he will have materialized, without a sound as he so often did.
But she reminds herself that he is in District 2, and that she has not answered his calls, or his letters.
By the time she makes it back to the fence, she is so sick and dizzy Thom has to give her a ride back to the Victor's Village in one of the carts. Thom helps get her onto the sofa in the living room and she falls back into her old routine of sitting and staring.
She is not sure how much time passes before she hears the familiar hiss. Her head snaps at the sound, for at first, she thinks she must be dreaming, having dozed off, for he cannot be real. 'How could he have gotten here?' she thinks to herself.
She sits up as he comes into view, hissing again at the sight of her. She realizes while looking at him, that he walked all the way from District 13 to District 12, she wonders if District 13 kicked him out or if he left on his own, unable to stand it there without her.
"It was a waste of a trip, she's not here."
Buttercup hisses at her in response.
"She's not here. You can hiss all you like; you won't find Prim."
She watches as he perks up hearing her name, and meows in hope.
"Get out!" Katniss screams, throwing a pillow at him that he dodges.
"Go away! There's nothing left for you here!" Katniss begins shaking in response she is so furious at the sight of him.
"She's not coming back! She's never coming back here again!" she rises from the sofa, her arm raised, another pillow in her hand, but before she can throw it, she cannot see for the tears have suddenly flooded her eyes, making their way down her cheeks.
"She's dead" she says as she clutches her stomach to dull the pain. She sinks to the floor as she rocks the pillow and cries. "She's dead, you stupid cat, she's dead."
All she hears is the sound of her cries, mixed with sounds that resemble a sound somewhat like singing. Buttercup begins circling around her, not going away, as wave after wave of sobs come out. She begins to think he understands in some way that Prim is gone, along with her Mother.
Eventually she falls unconscious, and hours later, when she wakes up and goes into her bed, he's there in the moonlight, crouched beside her, his yellow eyes alert, guarding her from the night.
The next morning, he sits patiently as she cleans his paws. When she digs a thorn out from his paw, he makes a sound a kitten makes in response. It causes her to do something in response she has never done before, picking him up and cradling him close, like Prim used to. She begins crying again, and he comforts her in response, gently licking her face.
Later that night, after Katniss helps Greasy Sae clean up after dinner, she finally gets the courage to answer the phone when it rings at its usual time.
She says only four words before hanging up on him, "Come to District 12."
He arrives the next day, late. As she opens the door for him, she sees he is dressed in black, casual clothes, a small bag slung over his shoulder.
He follows her into the kitchen, where he sets his bag down by the mantel, seeing all her unopened letters sitting there.
He is taken aback when he sees Buttercup devouring his food out of a bowl on the kitchen table.
"He came back" she says curtly.
"I see."
"How's District 2?"
"It's fine. We are in a house near the Justice Center. The whole area is going to be re-built, with new construction and re-modeling."
"Sae says you have some fancy job."
"My exact title is government official."
"What is that exactly?"
"A new position President Paylor created. She wanted a group of officials to monitor resident activity in the assigned District, as well as being…the face so to speak of Panem's new government to help rebuild."
"You got sent to 2 because you are already familiar with the area after Coin sent you there?"
"Yes."
"How many of you are there?"
"Six right now. I'm the official for 2, and there is an official for District 1, another for District 5, and the other three cover multiple Districts, including 12."
"The Districts that are not as much of a threat do not need their own dedicated official?"
"Exactly" he says.
"How long can you stay?"
"Just till tomorrow, a hovercraft is picking me up at 3 pm."
"You can't stay longer?"
"I'm sorry but no, there's a group of civilians we have been keeping our eye on, these civilians used to work in the Nut."
"Have they been trying to get back inside?"
"Yes, and it would not be good if they did. We have a small group that have been going into the Nut each day, but you know these former workers know all of the hidden tunnels and rooms that will take us weeks, maybe months to learn."
"I would think Snow would have had this information."
"Not as much as you would think."
Katniss is not surprised, for she always knew Snow didn't have quite the hold on the career Districts as he pretended that he did.
Knowing her time is limited, she offers him a glass of water as they sit by the fire. While it is warm during the day, at night it is still chilly, and the fire keeps the house warm.
After a few moments of silence Gale says, "I didn't think you'd ever pick up the phone."
"I couldn't….I wasn't ready to talk to you."
"Because you still can't forgive me?"
"Because I couldn't face…what I am about to tell you."
He gives her a look of concern mixed with curiosity in response. But he patiently waits as she takes a deep breath and looks down at the table as she says, "When I was in the burn unit, the nurses and doctors told me…..that they couldn't save it."
He gives her a look of confusion and says, "Save what?"
"The baby."
"What baby?" he says, his voice raising ten octaves higher.
"Our baby" she says, her eyes finally meeting his.
She watches as he blinks his eyes several times, as if making sure he was awake and not dreaming. He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again, finally managing to say, "Katniss-are you telling me that the entire time we were in the Capitol you were pregnant?"
"I didn't know. I felt fine, truly I did…it wasn't until we were in Tigris's basement that I started to feel…not myself, but I thought it was just due to stress, with Boggs dying, then the Mutt attack, then Finnick and the others dying."
"Why didn't you tell me? I saw you in the hospital, then at the mansion!"
"I told you….I couldn't."
"Katniss-" but he is cutoff from saying any more when she shouts, "It wasn't about you! It was about them! I couldn't face the reality, that they were gone, including something growing inside of me that I never wanted!"
She sees the look of sadness in his eyes followed by hurt, he learns forward and says, "I understand, but…you didn't even let me try to be there for you."
"I didn't want to be reminded of…."
"What we did?"
Her eyes move to the table, unable to meet his. It seemed like a lifetime ago, the hour or so they spent together in her compartment. Once they had exited the stairwell, she had invited him in after he walked her back to her room. Within minutes, they were underneath the white sheets, their clothes littered on the floor beside the bed. Just like the previous time in the cave, she learned the mechanics of lovemaking was much easier once she figured out how it all worked. After Gale had begun his rhythm, she surprised him by moving over so that she was on top. Feeling insecure after the sudden decision, for she had trouble figuring out which way to move once she re-positioned herself. Sensing her uneasiness, he sits up, and wraps his arms around her. Looking into his eyes, she begins to relax as she moves back and forth with his movements, letting the pleasure take over. She begins leaning forward as she gains more confidence and after a while, he leans back down as she moves faster on top of him. Their bodies slicked with sweat, she feels his arms reach up to move her off of him, but she forcefully grabs them and pulls him up towards her, catching him off guard. Stronger due to her intensive training, she shifts her body slightly and crosses her legs around his lower back as she sits in his lap, her lower body moving frantically to ensure he remains inside of her. Once they finish, he looks into her eyes and says, "Katniss-" the fear evident in his voice.
But she places a finger to his lips and kisses him softly in response. Knowing that the likelihood of them both coming back from the Capitol was slim, she wanted to have that final moment with him, to experience for herself what it was like to have him finish inside of her instead of to the side of the bed, or into the ground.
Surely, she would not get pregnant after one time.
But she did. Both punished for their moment of pleasure in that short amount of time they had spent together. It wasn't like she didn't think about options. Birth control was not something that was available in District 13, and while she could have rummaged around in her Mother's box of supplies, she wanted those medicines and herbs to saved, in case they needed to be used when their families were at the cabin.
Remembering what he said to her as he departed her room that night, as he pulled his clothes on and headed for the door, he had turned to her and said, "No matter what happens after we leave tomorrow, remember that I'll always love you."
Still under the covers of the bed, she jumps up and grabs her shirt and pulls it over her head as she reaches for his arm, pulling him back to the door.
"Gale-I-just want you to know-"
"Yeah?" he says, standing by the doorway.
But she cannot bring herself to say the words, even after what they had just done.
"I don't regret what's happened between us-any of it."
She watches as he nods his head in assent, and she reaches up and touches his face gently before moving her feet up to kiss him. Turning her head to kiss him more deeply, she feels him break away from her and kiss her hand gently then whispers, "Get some sleep."
Her thoughts now in the present, she looks up from the table and says, "I didn't want to be reminded of…..what we lost."
She watches as he tries to hold back his tears, instead taking a deep breath and saying, "You need to leave 12, being around all this death can't be good for you. As great as Sae has been, I want you to return to District 2 with me, we can make room for you at our place. You can stay in Posy's room and she can sleep with my Mom in her room."
"Have you gotten permission from President Paylor for me to leave?"
"No, but I can talk to her about it. Originally she said six months would most likely be the amount of time you would need to stay in 12."
"I haven't even been here two months."
"I'll tell her she owes us this favor now."
"Owes you this favor."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"I don't know if I want to go to District 2 Gale. I can't leave Haymitch."
"No offense Katniss, but Sae told me Haymitch never visits."
Totally understanding why Greasy Sae would update Gale on her visitors, Sae did not know of Haymitch's visit three days ago. While she did not acknowledge his words, what Haymitch said to her meant more than he or anyone could ever know.
"He doesn't visit during the day."
Gale pauses, then says, "Well, I still hope you will consider it. The hovercraft will be picking me up near the square."
She takes him upstairs and shows him to the guest room where he sleeps, while she sleeps in her room with Buttercup.
His room is far enough away from hers that she does not hear his sobs as he cries himself to sleep that night.
The next morning, when Katniss goes downstairs, she is surprised when she sees Gale in the kitchen with Greasy Sae, the two of them erupting in laughter when she arrives.
As she sits across from him and begins eating her eggs, this time served with bacon, she notices Sae's look of content at seeing the two of them together.
"What are your plans for today?" Katniss asks him.
"Planning to head over to the square. I know they will be starting new construction soon, then I was planning to head to the area where Thom is working. Sae told me he returned to 12 a few weeks ago, I plan to bring lunch to him and his work crew. I know that the clean up is still expected to last another week or so."
"Thom will enjoy that" she says as she finishes her last piece of toast.
"Do you want to come?"
"No thanks, I'll stay here."
"I might not have time to make it back over here, part of the reason I could come here is because I have to report back to the Capitol and the official who covers 12 the progress that's being made here. I plan to take my bag with me when I leave."
"I understand."
And she rises from the table and puts her dish in the sink and grabs her bow and heads out the front door, leaving Gale and Greasy Sae to finish cleaning up.
Katniss returns to the Victor's Village at 1 pm. Carrying four rabbits over her shoulder, she knocks on Sae's door and invites herself in when her Granddaughter answers the door.
"Wonderful, I can make rabbit stew tonight with one of these" Greasy Sae says as she takes the rabbits from Katniss.
"Did you enjoy your visit with Gale?" Katniss asks.
"Yes, I always enjoy his company, much more than yours" Sae says giving her a wink.
Katniss snickers in response. As she turns to head for the door Sae says, "I hope you are going back to your house to pack."
She turns around and says, "District 12 is my home. Not 2."
"You're right, 12 is our home. And I hope someday you will return here. But I think a change of scenery will be good for you. He loves you, but you already know that."
Katniss does not respond, instead heading for the door, as she exits, she yells, "Enjoy the rabbits" and closes the door behind her.
She heads to Haymitch's house next, his door unlocked as expected, she steps inside to a dark house. The curtains drawn; she sees him passed out on the floor of the living room.
She gently kicks his leg, waking him up. Once he awakens and realizes he is no longer dreaming, he says, "Oh, it's you" when his eyes come into focus.
"Hello to you too" she says in response.
"I was having a nice nap" he says as he gets up and sits on the sofa.
"Well, you can return to nap time soon, I don't plan to stay long" she says as she sits in the chair across from him.
"Everything okay?" he says in a tone indicating his concern.
"Yeah-I want to thank you, for what you said a few days ago. It…it meant a lot."
"I meant every word it."
"I know you did. Listen Haymitch, Gale is here, he came to see me. He wants me to come back to District 2 with him. Thinks I need to….get away from here."
"I think that will cause some controversy."
"Yeah. He seems to think he can convince Paylor to let me stay. I don't know, maybe he can. He does have an important job now."
"Do you want to go?"
"I don't know. I don't know if it will help. I don't know if I'll ever…be the same again. I don't know if I can."
Haymitch nods in understanding. "Well, I can tell you this, don't make any decisions based on me. I'll be fine sweetheart. I found a new housekeeper, a woman who used to live in the Seam who came back. She's good, and cooks pretty good too."
"I don't want to leave you. It doesn't feel right."
"Just don't be a stranger" he says with a smile.
Gale stands on the ramp of the hovercraft as he waits. The time is 3:03 pm and Katniss has not arrived. Knowing he can only wait two more minutes; a feeling of dread begins to form in his stomach and his heart begins to race as he realizes that she is not coming.
As he turns to begin walking up the ramp, he hears his name in the distance. He turns back around, and sees her running towards the hovercraft, seeing two large bags hanging from her shoulders, with one smaller bag strapped across her body.
He runs down the ramp and meets her at the bottom, taking both of her bags as they head up the ramp. Once the ramp is closed, he sets her bags down and watches as she removes the smaller bag, and places it in her lap after she straps herself in, panting heavily and totally exhausted.
He hears meowing, then sees Buttercup's head poke out.
"He goes where I go" she says unapologetically.
He gives her a small smile as he feels the hovercraft lift off the ground and take off into the sky, his heartbeat returning to normal now that she is with him.
A/N: You will see some things similar here to my other story, such as Gale's government official job and other small details now that the story is somewhat AU