DISCLAIMER: HG CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME
A/N: Thanks for the continued reviews!
Katniss falls asleep quickly once the hovercraft takes off, for she was wiped out from hustling to get to the square. She is awakened by the feel of Gale's hand on her shoulder, letting her know they have landed.
After petting Buttercup so the cat is more at ease as she encloses him back in her bag, she can tell that he has something to say, but is contemplating how to say it.
"Go on, say it" Katniss says, not wanting any time to be wasted.
"I might have to get a disguise for you, everyone here in 2 is supposed to think you are still in District 12."
She rolls her eyes in response and says, "I already got it covered" and walks over to one of the large bags in the corner and pulls out a long, silver cloak. Once she pulls it over herself and puts the hood up, he sees her face is completely hidden.
"Compliments of the Capitol. This was sent to me shortly after I moved to the Victor's Village, but it sat in my closet. Guess now it can finally go to good use."
He nods and says, "This will work, if anyone asks, I will say you are from the Capitol, your home destroyed and have relocated to District 2 and I'm your escort."
"Okay" she says as she reaches for her bags, but he grabs them first, telling her she needs to hide Buttercup under her cloak.
Once they exit the hovercraft, she walks silently behind him as they walk through the main square towards his house. When they arrive, she sees the house is quite large, thinking it was most likely the former mayor's house. She begins to wonder what happened to him and his family if he even had one as they walk through the front door.
After Gale sets her bags down in the front living room, she removes her cloak as she hears footsteps come into the room. With Buttercup still strapped to her body, she feels Hazelle's arms wrap around her. Quickly reaching up and gently patting Hazelle's shoulder so that she releases her grip, she is informed that Rory, Vick, and Posy are in school, but will be arriving home any minute.
Katniss sees the time is almost 5 pm and looks at Hazelle in confusion.
"They get transported to and from a school about an hour away from here. They leave every morning at 7:30 am" Hazelle says.
"They don't go to the school here?" Katniss asks.
"Destroyed during the war, a new building is being built, it should be ready by the fall" Gale says.
"Was it destroyed before or after your plan to take the nut?"
"Shortly after" Gale says curtly.
They are interrupted by the sound of Buttercup's annoyed meowing. Katniss reaches into her bag and pets him lightly. "I'll head to the store to get him food and a litter box, what else will he need?" Gale asks.
"Just a bowl. Maybe a few cat toys and a scratching post? I don't think I'll be letting him outside here."
"Sure, I'll be back soon."
"Thanks" she says appreciatively as she watches him head out the front door.
Hazelle then escorts her upstairs to Posy's room. Katniss thanks Hazelle as she closes the door behind her, giving Katniss privacy once both of her bags are in the room. Once Buttercup is out of her crossbody bag and begins sniffing the room, she sees the room is decently sized. She sees a full-size bed with pink sheets and a pink bedspread. She also sees a small white, child's desk in the corner, and a dollhouse along the wall on the opposite side. At the bottom of the bed is a large wood chest, when she opens it, she sees it is filled with toys inside. Knowing most likely Gale is responsible, for the first thing he would want is for his family to have the things they couldn't have in District 12 and 13.
He returns less than an hour later. She stays with Buttercup in the room and watches as the cat paces and sniffs the room before finally settling down, eventually getting into the cat bed Gale bought and allowing sleep to overcome him. Once Katniss sees he is comfortable and his eyes shut, she sneaks out of the room and heads downstairs. When she arrives in the kitchen, she sees the Hawthorne's have just finished eating dinner.
Vick and Posy get up from the table and run over to her, engulfing her in a hug. Rory trails behind, giving her a warm smile. She mumbles a response when they tell her that they've missed her. When the embrace ends, she manages to give them a forced smile before standing up and telling Hazelle and Gale that she suddenly was not feeling well and turns around, mumbling that she'll see them tomorrow as she heads back upstairs to Posy's room. Seeing all five members of the Hawthorne family, seemed too much of a crowd after her time spent with just Greasy Sae and occasionally her Granddaughter. Too overwhelming, she had to go back upstairs to the comfort of isolation.
Once the door is closed, she gets under the covers and falls asleep, not even bothering to change into her sleep clothes or unpack. When she awakens the next morning, she sees a tray of food on the white desk and a note.
Her stomach rumbling for she had not eaten in over twenty-four hours, she begins eating the fruit, granola, and muffin placed on the tray as she reads his note, looking at his penmanship as she stares at the piece of paper:
I had to come into the room this morning to get some of Posy's things. I'll be home from work around 5 pm given there are no problems at the nut. My Mom knows how to reach me if you need me-I love you. Gale.
Sitting on the floor, for Posy's chair was too small for her to sit in, she sits for an unknown amount of time, continuing to look around the room, memorizing it. She watches Buttercup eat his breakfast, use his litterbox, and rub up against her before jumping up on the bed to lounge.
Forcing herself to remember why she agreed to come, she gets up and begins unpacking her bags. She hangs up her clothes in Posy's closet and places her stack of unopened letters on the desk, along with her parent's wedding picture, plant book, and locket. She places her bows and arrows in the closet, knowing most likely she will not be using them anytime soon.
One Month Later
Katniss sees the sunlight pouring in through the light pink curtains of Posy's room. Now the end of April, the sun rises before 7 am and she has been waking up earlier and earlier each day.
Unable to leave to house, she takes her time getting up and out of bed in the morning, for she figures why get up when the Hawthorne's have their lives to live. Even though Gale had told her she could use the bathroom in his room whenever she wanted, she often waited until Rory, Vick, and Posy left for school and Hazelle was downstairs before getting out of bed and using the bathroom.
The house had five bedrooms upstairs and as confirmed by Gale, was the home of the former mayor of District 2. That mayor and his family now buried six feet under the ground.
Gale was occupying the master bedroom, as insisted upon by Hazelle, with Hazelle and the kids occupying the other four bedrooms. Katniss had learned very quickly after coming out of Posy's room the third day after she arrived, that this house was much bigger than her home in the Victor's Village. She had mixed feelings about this, with Paylor allocating this home to the Hawthorne's, and what that said about the current political climate of District 2.
As she feels the sunlight hit her face, she yawns and stretches as she slowly opens her eyes. She hears a noise, sounding like movement, and she sits up and looks around the room. Parts of the room still dark for the sunlight had not reached all areas of the room yet, she sees a figure lingering near Posy's desk. As she adjusts her eyes, she sees Prim, her blonde hair and blue eyes coming into focus. As Katniss's eyes go wide, she sees Prim give her a sly smile, that turns into a huge grin, showing her burned mouth before her eyes start to glow bright orange, the color of fire.
Terrified, she screams at the sight before her, now awake, she finds herself still screaming, sitting up in response.
Once she stops the onslaught of screams, she exhales heavily as her chest moves in and out. She looks over at the clock on the nightstand and sees the time is 9:07 am. Knowing the reason Hazelle has not come into the room is because she is currently at the town square market, for she leaves the house each morning at 8:30 am and returns around 10 am.
Buttercup at her side, the cat rubs his head against her as she cries, her legs pulled up to her chest and her face buried in her knees. Hours pass before she rises, and she finds herself wandering into Gale's room.
She looks around the room, taking in the silence. Even though she has been in his room before, it was only for brief periods of time and never by herself. She walks around the large room and stares at the large king bed, observing the navy sheets and bedspread. She sees the large work desk in the corner, along with a glider chair in the opposite corner, a book placed on the cushion. She goes over to the desk and sees two picture frames. She sees one of the pictures is of him and his family. Taking a closer look at it she sees the picture was taken here in District 2. The other picture is an older picture of herself when she was crowned Victor.
She notices that Peeta has been carefully cut out of the picture to fit into the frame.
Looking at the picture of herself, reminds her of a time when even though she was scared of her future after returning to District 12, she had Peeta, Haymitch, Gale, and most importantly, her Mom and Prim.
Now only two in that group remains, for it was still unknown if Peeta would ever be the way he was before.
She goes into his bathroom and strips off her clothes and steps into his shower. She notices an unused shower sponge with gel soap in the bottom shelf in the extremely large stand-up shower, for there was a large tub on the other side. Knowing that was left for her to use, she turns on the water and lets the hot water descend on her.
She emerges from his bathroom thirty minutes later, only wearing a towel, she then heads back to Posy's room to get dressed and dry her hair. Once finished, she sees the time is 12:47 pm. Starving, she heads downstairs and as expected, Hazelle has lunch prepared and ready for her on the kitchen table.
Her routine the last two and a half weeks has been helping Hazelle with whatever needed done around the house. Since Hazelle went out daily to get food and other items needed, she helped with the cleaning. She mopped and swept the floors downstairs, dusted, cleaned the kitchen countertops, and helped with the laundry. Wishing she could do more, Hazelle reminded her often that her assistance helped a great deal. Wanting to help clean up and do the dishes after dinner, Hazelle ensured that Rory and Vick took care of that, for it was part of their assigned chores, along with Posy's help with clearing the table.
After she finishes lunch, she cleans up and goes to the mud room by the home's side door to retrieve the mop. She sweeps and mops all the rooms downstairs, the hardwood floors looking brand-new once finished. She found the monotonous routine of cleaning helps clear her mind and calm her nerves. Part of 'going through the motions' as Dr. Aurelius called it.
When she dumps the water out and places the bucket back in the mud room's closet, she sees the time is 3:18 pm. Just enough time to go into the study room and be ready for her expected phone call at 3:30 pm.
For two weeks now, she has received a phone call from Dr. Aurelius each weekday at 3:30 pm sharp. A condition for being allowed to stay in District 2, President Paylor informed Gale that she had to participant in daily calls from Dr. Aurelius, along with her restriction that she could not leave the house. The first week she did not have much to say, but this week she had begun to participate more.
"What did you do today?" Dr. Aurelius asks.
"Swept and mopped the floor."
She hears him pause before he says in a gentle tone, "Usually when you do the floors you also dust all the rooms downstairs."
"Woke up late today."
"You had another nightmare."
"Yeah" she says in a tone void of emotion.
"Did anyone hear?"
"No, Gale's Mom had already left the house by the time I woke up, I'm glad whenever they are spared from the awkwardness."
"You don't know if it is awkward for them."
She snickers in response and says, "Trust me it is, you should see the way they look at me sometimes."
"Maybe they are sad, they knew your Sister and your Mother correct?"
"Yeah."
"Most likely they are grieving too."
"Maybe" she says dismissively, for while she knew the Hawthorne's were dealing with their own grief, it was nothing in comparison to hers.
"What will you be helping Mrs. Hawthorne with tomorrow?"
"Laundry, that will take up most the day."
"Good-I'm glad to see that you have acclimated into this routine so quickly. At this rate, my goal for you might be achieved sooner than I thought."
"What goal is that" she asks, unsure if she really wanted to know the answer.
"For you to come back to life."
That night, she reflected on his words while she stared up at Posy's ceiling, the stars and shapes pasted on the ceiling glowing a bright green color. If Dr. Aurelius's goal was for her to 'come back to life,' she begins thinking about how that can even be achieved.
The next day, while Rory and Vick's clothes were drying, she asks Dr. Aurelius for a favor.
One Month Later
Katniss sees the sunlight pour through the light blue curtains. Now the end of May, the sun rises before 6 am. Hearing movement in the bathroom, she knows if she gets up now, she can catch him before he leaves.
She slowly rises from his bed, having officially moved out of Posy's room a week ago, she told the youngest Hawthorne it was time she had her room back. She goes over and pets a now alert Buttercup who has risen from his cat bed, adjusted to his new space and happy that he has more room to roam.
Going over to the windows and opening the curtains, her plant that was dangling from the ceiling could now get sunlight. Her birthday a little over two weeks ago, she had gotten the large potted plant from Hazelle, Rory, Vick, and Posy. With Gale's gift to her an automatic food feeder for Buttercup along with an automatic water fountain, and a box of handmade arrows, each fletching a different shade of green.
"For when you can finally get out and hunt again, there's an older man who lives not far from here who makes bow and arrow sets" he says to her as she opens her gift.
She thanks him as she closes the box and carefully sets it down. "How does it feel to be 18?" Rory asks.
Remembering that she told him turning 18 felt no different than 17, she didn't want to kill the mood by saying that she has seen and lived through more hardship than most adults, and that turning 18 was not a moment of celebration, not anymore.
She looks over at the clock and sees the time is 6:05 am. She goes into the bathroom as silently as she can and hears the shower, along with the feel of heat. Quickly removing her clothes, she opens the shower door and steps inside.
Seeing that he was rinsing his hair, she gently touches his shoulder. When he turns around, he asks, "Did I wake you?"
She shakes her head no and reaches for him, instinctively, he bends down and wraps his arms around her. Knowing she does not have much time for he leaves the house at 7:20 am on the dot to get to work, she reaches down and begins stroking him.
She hears him grunt softly in her ear before he lifts her up and places her against the shower wall. She wraps her legs around him, locking him into place, her hand still moving up and down.
She feels him get hard quickly, then inserts his shaft inside of her. He begins to thrust her against the cool tiles of the shower wall, the only sound around them is the water coming out of the shower head above. He leans in to kiss her, but she turns her head away, his lips coming upon the bottom of her jaw then moving down her neck.
They began having sex again two weeks ago, shortly after Dr. Aurelius helped arrange a house visit from one of the Capitol doctors. The doctor examining her skin, he tells her he is pleased with how her skin has healed and tells her once she is allowed to leave the house, she can undergo another procedure that will erase the patchwork look of her new and old skin. Before he leaves, she asks the doctor if he could write a prescription for morphling, along with a prescription for birth control.
This doctor being one of the doctors that treated her after she arrived in the burn unit, writes her a re-fillable prescription for birth control without hesitation. He refused however, to write the prescription for morphling, telling her that her body has healed and that she needs to keep working with Dr. Aurelius to get through her "mental pain."
Having accomplished at least one goal, Hazelle goes to the pharmacy and brings back the box of packaged pill packs, she does not ask Katniss any questions and Katniss does not offer an explanation. Katniss reads in the directions that the pills will begin working after one week. Later that evening, she goes into Gale's room and tells him about the doctor visit and shows him the pills.
She was not expecting his reaction.
"Katniss, I'm glad the doctor came to see you today, but I don't know if we should-be together."
"WHAT?" she says in exasperation.
"Don't think I don't want us to be together; I do. But I want us to be together for the right reasons, like we were before. I don't want you to be with me if you haven't…."
"Forgiven you" she says.
He nods, the vulnerability showing on his face.
"I haven't found a way to make peace with it, but I'm trying."
"Do you still love me?
"Gale….you know how I feel about you."
"That's just it Katniss, sometimes I don't. In District 13, you gave yourself to me, you allowed me to show you how much I love you. I ended up getting you pregnant and I didn't even know! We haven't talked about what happened, what you went through-the child that we will never have. My Mom doesn't know, I can't tell her because I know you don't want anyone to know. She knows something is wrong, since you have arrived here, she's asked me at least a once a week what's going on with us. She knows things are not the same between us."
"When she asks you this week, you can tell her things will never be the same because I'll never be the same-ever again" she says angrily as she storms out of his room.
The next five days are awkward for the two of them, and she is glad conversations at the dinner table are driven by Rory and Vick, the two boys trying to impress Katniss by one upping each other when it came to what they were learning at school.
She was taking the birth control pills despite their argument, for she knew eventually he would come to her.
And he did three days later. Feeling him rouse her from sleep, for he had slipped into Posy's bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist.
She felt his hands moving up her nightshirt, desperate to feel the touch of her skin. She tells him they should go to his room, for she didn't think he'd want to have sex in his little Sister's bed. He laughs in confirmation as he picks her up and carries her into his room.
She allows him to kiss her patchwork skin, closing her eyes as his lips moved from her neck to her breasts, down her chest, to her stomach, inner thighs then to her most sensitive area. She loses herself to the pleasure as she feels his head between her legs, her leg trembling while draped around his shoulder.
A week later, she moves her things into his room, Buttercup in tow.
But one thing she has not done, is allow him to kiss her on the lips. For while she needed to feel something and wanted that feeling of pleasure again, she was not ready to show him that she loved him back. In District 13, when she could not tell him that she loved him, she tried to show it in other ways, an intimate touch, a deep kiss. Now, she cannot do any of those things.
Each time they were together he gave her a look she knew all too well, a look letting her know that he loved her. In that moment when their eyes met, she turned her head and refused to look at him, instead focusing only on the sex.
Rubbing her hands along his back, she digs her fingers into his skin as he continues his movements, moving in and out of her at a faster pace. She feels her toes begin to curl as her body begins to orgasm, and she goes limp as she remains firmly planted against the wall, waiting until he is finished. Once she feels his final thrust, she opens her eyes as she feels her feet hit the shower floor.
They wash themselves after, she begins washing her hair as he closes the shower door after exiting. Once she is done, she sees that he has just finished shaving as she goes into his room and begins getting dressed. As she begins towel drying her hair, he comes over to her, tells her he hopes she has a good day and squeezes her shoulder before he turns and heads to the door.
She remains silent as he exits the room.
As he heads downstairs to make himself breakfast, he tries not to be disappointed by her actions, reminding himself as he often does the day she tells him she loves him, is the day he knows he is forgiven.
But he is devastated three weeks later when he comes home from work and learns what she has done, and the consequences of her actions that follow.