A/N: Here's Chapter 3 of Total Drama World Tour, which after much deliberation, will occur in China. Anyone want to place claims on who they want to win?
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama Island/Action/World Tour, or the characters, only my OC. On with the chapter!
Chapter 3- Fortune Cookie Always Wrong, Chris
(Recap, narrated by Chris Maclean)
Last time on Total Drama World Tour! Our contestants found themselves stranded in what Ron quickly sussed out as being Surrey as well as revealing some really juicy gossip about Harry and Dudley's past. Imagine the look on his and Harry and Dudley's faces when they found out their challenge was to all be locked in Number 4 Privet Drive, with the last one standing winning invicibility for their team. With the odds against him, due to a stroke of luck, DJ won the challenge for the Globetrotters, sending the Mappers to the Trans-Global Flag Ceremony (now the official name for the elimination ceremonies), and some Total Drama ensued. Fearing that he would be eliminated, Joshua waited at the ceremony with bated breath as it was down to him and Ginny for the final flag, and as he was getting ready to leave in defeat, I surprised him and everyone there by giving him the last flag, thus eliminating Ginny, much to Geoff's chagrin. However, the Mappers believe there was a swap of the votes done by someone, as they swore they voted for Gwen for the most part, save for the 2 who voted for Joshua, and Heather, who voted for Zeke. Will we find out who sabotaged Ginny? Will the GlobeTrotters remain undefeated? Find out the answers to these questions and more on another totally dramatic and thrilling episode of Total….Drama…..World Tour!
(cue theme song, and we're good to go!)
Joshua was reclining in his seat, relaxing as the Airline of Acceptance was en route to the next stop in the contest.
"Joshua, whatcha doing?" Courtney asked him.
"Nothing much, just meditating a bit to sharpen my wits and refresh my mind for the next challenge, as I get the feeling that sadistic bastard's going to make it a hard one." Joshua replied.
"Oh, cool, can I try?" Courtney asked him.
"Eh, yeah, sure, why not?" Joshua replied, as he then began training Courtney in the basics of meditation, which she picked up quickly, and it was thusly that Ezekiel, Gwen, and Noah found them some two hours later.
"Uh, guys, you okay in here?" Noah asked timidly when they entered the silent room, until they heard the sound of two bodies dropping.
"Yeah, we were just meditating." Joshua said as he pulled himself to his feet, then helped Courtney up.
"Oh, that looks like fun, but unfortunately we're at our next stop." Ezekiel said, as Gwen quirked an eyebrow at the awkward position that Joshua and Courtney had ended up in due to the way they fell.
Confessional Booth
Gwen/Ezekiel: Gwen- Methinks a certain CIT and hatchet warrior might be proving to be little more than deadweight for this team, so I think it's time to split up the dream team if we lose today's challenge.
Ezekiel- True, Gwen, however, if we're to do so, maybe we should aim for the both of them at once, so as not to appear overly sexist or biased, not that I'm one to talk, eh?
Gwen- Ezekiel, stop beating yourself up over that. We know you didn't know any better when you made those comments, and we've forgiven you already, especially me. (kisses Ezekiel on the lips, passionately)
Ezekiel- (has a look similar to a deer caught in headlights) Wow, so that's how it's supposed to feel when a woman holds you then, eh? I like it. And I like you a lot, Gwen!
(from outside) Heather/Beth/Courtney- Hey lovebirds, hurry it up in there, will ya?
Gwen- Shut up, we'll be out when we're good and ready.
Ezekiel-Got that right, eh. (returns to making out with Gwen)
Owen- Wow, that was, um, more disturbing than having to listen to Geoff and Bridgette sucking face, like, non-stop last season during the alien movie challenge, but anyhow, it sucks I couldn't help out in the last challenge.
Geoff/Bridgette(from outside): HEY, WE RESEMBLE THAT REMARK, OWEN!
Owen- Oh crap, gotta go.
Courtney/Joshua: Joshua- Wow, methinks it won't be hard to sway the votes to keep me and Courtney in this thing awhile longer, if we lose today's challenge.
Courtney- Right you are, Joshua. Unless, of course, that sadistic narcissist decides to up the ante somehow. He's lucky I can't find any loopholes in our contracts, or we'd have his balls on a silver fucking platter right now, as well as his job.
Joshua- Whoa now, easy there Courtney. I know you're upset about the Globetrotter thing, so am I, but let's not get carried away. Remember what happened in TDA?
Courtney- (shudders at memory of losing in semi-finals with Owen) You're right, of course. I need to stay focused.
Beth/Heather/Eva: Eva- Wow, my first confession. I heard these things were supposed to be dumps, but this is actually really nice. Too bad I didn't last long enough to see one of these on TDI.
Beth- There now, Eva, it's okay. You're still here on TDWT, after all, and you can get as far as you want to if you set your mind to it and give it your all. Why, if someone like Heather here can be a real witch one second, and your best friend the next, no offense Heather, then you can certainly turn over a new leaf.
Heather- Yeah, like Beth said, and no offense taken. She's right though, I was a total shrew before, but now that I've had time to realize how fucked up I was, I can come back to this thing and compete for all the RIGHT reasons, and make friends in the process, which should be easy since I made friends with you guys.
Eva- Yeah, I suppose you're right, Heather.
Harry/Ron/Hermione: Harry- Hey Ron, ever notice that we get almost no lines in these things?
Ron- You're right, mate, I did. I'm also pissed that those spineless assholes voted out my sister for no reason.
Hermione- Ronald Weasley, shame on you. You knew when you let her sign up that this would probably happen. Now, if you don't want us to do the same to you, I suggest you button it, now.
Harry- (deadpan) Wow, Hermione, you tell him.
Ron- (scowls at Harry) Okay, Hermione, I'll be good.
Hermione- Thank you.
Dudley/Draco: Draco- Wow, this is rough. Scarhead and Sir Mudblood surprised me by being forced out of their childhood home. Lucky for them DJ came through for the team, or that Mudblood Dursley would have been the one out of the contest.
Dudley- WHAT did you just say to me, Malfoy? (cracks knuckles)
Draco- (facepalms) Nothing, Dudley, nothing at all.
Dudley- That's what I thought. If I ever catch you calling me OR Hermione OR Harry that foul name again, I'll wallop your bloody arse from here to the other end of Bumfuck Egypto, capiche? (cracks knuckles again for emphasis)
Draco- (quivering in fear, deadpan, and fearful) Yes, Dudley, capiche.
Dudley- Good to hear that, Draco.
Outside of the booth, Harry, Ron and Hermione were all staring, dumbfounded, at each other, surprised at what they'd just overheard.
"Attention, all contestants! Report to the Dining Facility ASAP for breakfast and today's challenge. Repeat, report to the Dining Facility ASAP for breakfast and today's challenge. That is all." Chris said via a megaphone he'd brought with him for just this purpose.
Joshua and Ezekiel exchanged surprised looks at this.
"Wow, man, that guy never quits, eh?" Ezekiel asked.
"No, Ezekiel, he doesn't." Joshua replied.
After the campers reported to the Dining Facility, they were surprised when they saw none other than the recently-outed Harold, as well as Izzy, working the kitchen, causing a fair few eyebrows to rise in surprise.
Confession Booth
Joshua- WTF? How did they get here, and where's the real chef? At least let good old Zeke cook, he's really good at it.
Ezekiel- What a dickweed, eh. Everyone knows that Izzy can't cook to save her life, and that Harold only has enough cooking ability in him to sustain himself.
After a hearty breakfast, Chris approached the tables.
"Welcome, contestants, to China, and challenge the third of Total……Drama……World Tour! For today's challenge, we will have a group of five represent each team, and the group that does the best will earn their team invincibility, while the losing team has to send someone home in another dramatic Trans-Global Flag Ceremony." Chris said.
"The five competing for the Juggalo Mappers are Ezekiel, Gwen, Eva, Courtney, and…..Heather! Competing for the Killer Globetrotters are Trent, Hermione, DJ, Katie, and…….Dudley!" Chris said.
Confessional Booth
Joshua/Courtney: Joshua- What? I'm being sidelined for this challenge? The team could use my gourmet culinary preparation skills.
Courtney- Trust me, I'd much rather be working with you in there than Gwen, Heather, and Zeke, but we have to take the hand dealt us, however, he didn't say we couldn't have assistants in the kitchen..(smirks sexily as Joshua catches on)
Joshua- Ah, I see, then that way, the rest of can help out somewhat.
Courtney- Yeah, something like that.
Ezekiel/Gwen: Ezekiel- Yes, this challenge is in the bag, eh. I have a innate talent for cooking gourmet dishes.
Gwen- True, Zeke, but methinks our dear sadistic male host is trying to stir up the drama as much as he can, hence the reason for such random groups.
Ezekiel- Oh, that's true, eh. But I think we can tolerate our groups for this challenge. Besides, it's probably better off this way, as girls are superior to guys in many ways, but most especially in the kitchen.
Gwen- (quirks eyebrow and facepalms at Ezekiel) Wow, Zeke, that's deep. (kisses Ezekiel)
DJ- Yeah, this thing is ours, that is, if Dudley and Katie over there can keep from sabotaging us.
Katie- Why that no good arrogant asshole, making me work with that dickweed Trent after what he said about girls. The guy's damn lucky the cards were in his favor on Day 1, or he'd already be out. Thank god Ezekiel's gotten past that, as we don't need two people like that.
Trent- Damn, I don't think Chris wants us to win that much.
Dudley- This should be a simple task.
Hermione- Oh great, a air headed bimbo, a teddy bear with bite, a washed up musician wannabe, and Harry's overblown cousin are what Chris gave me to work with? This is going to take a miracle for us to win.
Heather- Thankfully our group has mended our differences and can work together well, I hope. If not, I don't think one needs to be psychic to see who's going on the Flight of Failure.
Eva- Chris put ME in a kitchen with home-school, Crazy In Training, Gothic Airhead, and Ex-Queen Bee? He must have a lot of faith in me not doing anything stupid, that or he's after drama again, in which case, I know just what to do to circumvent that. (smirks knowingly)
Chris- You only wish you knew, Eva. You only wish you knew. And who do I want to win? Duh, the Mappers. I put a huge bet on them winning today's challenges.
Harold- Wow, it's great to be back.
Explosivo- Si, is good to be back indeed, now to find place to go mucho BOOM BOOM!
"Oh, and one more thing. Harold is now back in the competition on the side of the Mappers while Izzy will also be joining, however, her team placement will not be determined until after the challenge, as whoever loses this challenge will be one player short, so Izzy will join the losing team of today's challenge, which is: Try and make fortune cookies that have excellent fortunes! Best fortune wins!" Chris said.
Confessional Booth
Joshua- OK, then it's a GOOD thing I'm not a part of today's challenge, as I suck at writing fortunes, as verified by past experience.
Courtney- FORTUNE COOKIES? THAT'S WHAT THIS CHALLENGE IS? AND WE HAVE TO TAKE THAT LOUSY NERD BACK ONTO OUR TEAM? THIS SUCKS MAJORLY!
Harold- Yeah baby, I'm back in this thing! Now to hope that my mad skills will be of use to me.
Gwen/Heather/Eva: Gwen- Well, one good thing came of today. I happen to be a certified fortune-writer, having used to work at a Chinese restraunt as a summer job before TDI.
Heather- (Raises eyebrow) Really? That's cool, Gwen.
Eva- Are you freaking serious? Hell yeah, we have this thing in the bag, baby!
Ezekiel- All right, writing fortune cookies then, eh? Sounds like fun.
"All right, contestants, get ready, and….GO!" Chris said.
Gwen, Heather and Ezekiel all set forth and busily started writing fortunes as Courtney and Eva were sitting on the sidelines watching, and in Courtney's case, being distracted by Joshua.
"Hey, Courtney, come here for a sec, will you?" Heather beckoned.
"Um, okay, sure." Courtney replied.
"Hey, Gwen, Zeke, and I were thinking, one of our fortunes should be a Confuctian inspired saying, so can you ask Joshua what that funny quote was he used on Trent?" Heather asked Courtney.
"Uh, okay." Courtney replied, then she went back to Joshua.
"So the team needs a funny Confuctious quote for a fortune, eh? I got a good one for them, two even. First is: Confuctious say, he who go to sleep with itchy hand wake up with smelly butt, and next is: Confuctious Say, he who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly hand." Joshua said, just loudly enough for Heather, Gwen, and Ezekiel to hear him, which they did, and gave him a thumbs-up.
Meanwhile, the GlobeTrotters were doing, well, poorly.
"What the fuck do you mean none of you are good at writing fortunes?" Hermione snapped at the team as they sat and pondered fortunes. Luckily for her, DJ came through for the team again.
"How about this: Do unto others what you would have them do unto you, or everybody wang chung tonight, or perhaps bite my shiny metal ass, or something like that?" he asked, unaware of the gaggle of deadpan teammates staring blankly back at him, stunned expressions of disbelief showing all around.
Confessional Booth
DJ- What, something I said? Or are they sleeping on the job again?Hermione- I cannot believe he JUST said that, or any of the other obscenities that he said.
Katie- (gasps, deadpan) DJ, what you said is worse than what Ezekiel said in TDI, and that got him eliminated the day he said it, so just imagine what's going to happen to you.
Joshua/Courtney/Gwen/Ezekiel: Joshua- WTF? Did DJ just say what I think he just said?Courtney- He totally did, that asshole. Has he no respect for girls or anyone?
Gwen- Methinks DJ might just end up getting shot if he doesn't watch it.
Ezekiel- Uh, Gwen, are you serious? Because we both know you don't need to be disqualified for murder, and that Duncan might be willing to deal with it if he gets eliminated.
Joshua- That's true Zeke, but what if WE lose?
Courtney- Then we all pool our votes, as well as those of Eva, Beth, and Heather, and vote for Geoff, as he's been pining for Ginny too much, and we'd be putting him out of his misery, but we'd have to obtain Noah's cooperation in that instance.
Gwen- That would work, but what if not everyone agrees to that?
Ezekiel-If that happened, it'd be a disaster on a grand scale, eh.
Beth/Eva/Heather: Eva- So, girls, any thoughts on who to vote for if we lose today's challenge?
Heather- Yeah, I say we vote for one of these three: Ezekiel, Joshua, or Harold, or Izzy as if we lose, she's on our team, but I think our best bet is to pool a voting bloc against Harold, to get him right back off the show.
Beth- That could work, but what if one of us gets a lot of votes instead?
Heather- We won't, I'll make sure of that.
Eva- I hope not, but there's no pressure on you, Heather.
"30 minutes left, everyone!" Chris said.
Half-an-hour later, Chris came up and said, "STOP! Time to judge the fortunes! Let's see, myself, Izzy, and Hatchet all will be reading these fortunes, and we will each pick ONE fortune we like to be our Preferred Fortune, and whichever team that fortune belongs to gets a point, so the team with two of three preferred fortunes, or the first time to two preferred fortunes wins." Chris said as he, Izzy, and Hatchet examined the fortunes.
"Okay, we've conferred, and we are ready to reveal our Preferred Fortunes. Izzy, if you'd be so kind as to start us off?" Chris said.
"Absolutely. While all of them were good, I like the one about tracking down some unlucky bastard 7000 miles away and sticking a nuclear warhead right up their ass* was very good, so the GlobeTrotters score the first point." Izzy said, surprising everyone there.
"I thought they were well written, but the double header about Confuctious say he who go to sleep with itchy butt/hand wake up with smelly hand/butt was good, so the Mappers get the second point, so it looks like it's up to Chris to serve as the tiebreaker." Hatchet said.
"And for my Preferred Fortune, I liked that one about the Lord calling the guy only to… 'oops, busy signal.' So, the winners of today's challenge are……the Juggalo Mappers! Globetrotters, I'll see you at the Trans-Global Flag Ceremony." Chris said.
Confessional Booth
Joshua- Wow, that was, uh, really lucky.
Gwen/Ezekiel: I'll say, eh.
Courtney- Yeah.
Katie-I can't believe we lost the challenge. Now, I know I said I was voting for DJ, but I realized just WHO lost us the challenge, so good riddance to bad rubbish.
Ron/Harry/Hermione: Ron- Well, DJ, looks like you fucked up too much today.
Harry- I agree with Ron, though admittedly Hermione could have done better, I vote for DJ.
Hermione- DJ, you are gone.
Owen- Wow, I hope no one votes for me. Anyhow, I vote for Hermione, as she was being WAY too bossy in the challenge, that and on account of a suggestion.
DJ- I can't believe we lost. Looks like I have no choice. Nothing personal, but this has to be done.
Draco- Well, looks like I might have an easy pass to deal with that Mudblood witch, so bye bye Granger.
Dudley- DJ did say some fucked up shit, but Hermione's been really creasing me of late, so I vote for her.
Trent- Wow, that was harsh, man. However, this freakshow boy thinks he can get in the way of taking my sweet Gin-Gin? I think not. Adios, Potter.
Izzy- Wow, cool I'm a GlobeTrotter, but first I have to help dispose of some deadweight.
At the Trans-Global Flag Ceremony…..
"Globe-Trotters, there are 11 of you here, but only 10 flags. When I call your name, come up and accept your flag. The one of you who does not get a flag must immediately proceed straight down the Runway of Rejects and board the Flight of Failure, where you will leave Total Drama World Tour, and not come back, EVER! First, the people with no votes. Trent, Owen, Cody, Ron, Katie, Draco, Dudley, Izzy. Harry, Hermione, DJ, you all received at least one vote. The first of you to receive one of the remaining flags is….Harry! DJ, Hermione, this is the final flag of the night. And the flag goes to……DJ! Hermione, sorry, but the Runway of Rejects awaits. DJ, head for the Airline of Acceptance." Chris said.
At the Airline of Acceptance….
"Dude, that was too close of a ceremony for Chris to call, only to joke about Hermione being safe, and DJ being out…DJ IS out, right?" Ron asked Harry with a face showing worry. "Of course he is." Harry replied reassuringly, not wanting to tell Ron who he voted for. Just then, a commotion ensued when not Hermione, but DJ boarded the Airline of Acceptance, followed by Chris Maclean.
"So, if DJ's here, then….. (eyebrows raise and eyes widen in realization) ! Why, Harry, Why? Why is Hermione out already? It's not cool." Ron said.
Confessional Booth
Joshua/Ezekiel/Courtney/Gwen: Joshua- Wow, even I didn't see THAT coming. I'd have thought DJ or Trent would be out.
Ezekiel- I know, right, eh. If it were us, he would be out, not Hermione.
Gwen- But it WASN'T us, now was it Zeke?
Courtney- Excellent point, Gwen.
Ezekiel- No, I suppose it wasn't us, Gwen. You're right. I'm just glad I'm still in the contest at this point.
Harold- Wow, back in the contest, and on the winning team? How cool is that?
Izzy- Si, si, and now Explosivo, he is fiending to do what he does best, and make BOOM BOOM!
Chris- Okay, barring the obviously flawed logic in bringing Izzy onto the show, I was in shock at today's results, but I'm happy I won my bet, thanks to that hilarious Confuctious fortune. I have to remember to find out who wrote that, and give them props.
Noah- Hey, what happened to me? Don't I get any lines in this?
Joshua- Yeah, you do. Sorry about that. Why don't you start hanging around with me and the others?
Noah- Really? You mean that, Joshua?
Joshua- Yes, Noah, I do mean it.
Chris- Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, It looks like things are going downhill for the GlobeTrotters with the loss of Hermione, which was leveled out by the addition of Izzy to their ranks. Will it be enough to keep them from becoming perennial losers like the Grips of TDA? Tune in next time to see if they can win a challenge, or if the addition of Harold to the Mappers was the masterstroke needed to secure victory for the Mappers from here on out? Tune in next time on Total……Drama…..World Tour to find out.
A/N: I apologize to any Hermione fans out there, but that was a needed move for a subplot that will occur later in the competition.
*DJ's quotes were taken from, in order, Small Soldiers, a random techno song I forget the name of, and Bender from Futurama, none of which belong to me.
Teams
Killer GlobeTrotters- Trent, Harry, Ron, Izzy (Explosivo), Draco, Dudley, Katie, DJ, Owen, Cody
Juggalo Mappers- Noah, Joshua, Courtney, Eva, Beth, Ezekiel, Gwen, Heather, Harold, Geoff
Voted Off- Duncan, Ginny, Hermione (20 left)
Votes
Harry-Hermione
Ron-DJ
Hermione-DJ
Katie-Hermione
Cody-Hermione
Trent-Harry
Owen-Hermione
Dudley-Hermione
Draco-Hermione
Izzy-DJ
Hermione-DJ
Total
DJ-4
Hermione-6
Harry-1