To hear her confession, to hear that she still carried a torch for Jesse's old commander definitely stung, but it was to be expected. If she was really remembering her time as Morrigan, there were bound to be emotions that persisted. He could only guess how much she remembered, how much she knew. Did she remember him? Young, cocky teenaged Jesse McCree, a fresh face in Blackwatch? He remembered her, she'd been older than him then, maybe a handful of years younger than the Commander, and he remembered how vicious she had been. He also remembered how… bothered the Commander had been to be investigating Organic Omnics, and Morrigan Morgan by association. He realised now that they must have been seeing each other at the time.
That didn't mean he loved her any less, it was an unsavory part of her past, of course, but he'd seen how she changed, had now seen the person who'd resided under all that grooming and brainwashing Aderyn had done to her. She'd done some terrible things, sure, but who hadn't? He certainly wasn't clear of that either, not with his time in Deadlock or with Blackwatch.
"Do you know what it feels like to have another voice in your head besides your own, Agent Garstka?" Briallen asked, her voice so mellow and somber, full of so much grief that Jesse looked up in surprise. "Do you know what it's like to remember doing things, terrible things, things you hadn't known you'd done? Do you know what it's like knowing that what you remember is only a fraction of your past and that there is so much more stuck there beneath the surface? Do you know that fear?"
Garstka leaned back in his chair, his gaze cool. "I can't say that I do, Panno Marsh."
She nodded, not looking up at him. Her gaze was focused on the table, her arms wrapped around her knees. "I do. I feel that fear even now. Morrigan did terrible things, and I can only remember a fraction of what she did… I remember recalling my relationship with Gabriel Reyes, remember how much she had cared for him… I remember worrying that, with these new found memories and emotions, that I would no longer hold the same affection for-" she stopped herself, looking over towards the glass and inadvertently meeting Jesse's gaze, though Jesse knew she'd only been looking at her reflection in the mirror. "For a certain few back home," she murmured, looking away. "But I was worried for nothing."
Garstka nodded. He'd dropped most of his antagonistic act now, knowing he'd gotten through some of her barriers. From experience, Jesse knew he'd pick it up again if she put up any resistance. "You are a very loyal person at heart, pani. Why don't you tell me what happened when you reunited with Gabriel Reyes? What happened at Talon?"
She took a shuddering breath, her wings fluttering and adjusting themselves. "Well, I didn't realise who he was at first, which seemed to surprise him. I don't think he knew what had happened to me. He was… upset when he found me with Hanzo. I couldn't see his face, but some part of me recognised it in his speech patterns. Gabriel didn't visit me for a while. I don't know how long it was, I believe they had the lights set on a timer for sleep deprivation. They wanted me to talk."
"And did you talk?" Garstka probed, raising an eyebrow.
She offered him a wicked smile. "I talked, but not about Overwatch and not to him. I made a friend, a little bird, you could say. They were a prisoner, like me, except they got "walking privileges". They'd visit my cell from time to time, talking about where they went, what kind of mood Gabriel was in, how the base was a living nightmare, that kind of stuff. The last time I saw them, we talked about escaping together, made an alliance. But, then they disappeared, I assume because they were taken into Overwatch custody."
Jesse chuckled, shaking his head. "Of course she made friends with Jay," he murmured, smiling to himself. "She's always been good in pickin' out friends."
"Maybe not lovers," Angela murmured back, a cruel, playful grin pointed at him. "But friends, yes."
"You wound me, Doc," Jesse groaned, laying a hand over his chest.
"And what happened when you saw Gabriel again?" Garstka asked, drawing Jesse's attention back to the interrogation.
"I yelled at him."
Garstka paused, blinking. "You yelled at him?"
"Yeah, he threatened my friend, saying something about the fact that they shouldn't have been there and then began cursing them in Spanish, acting like I didn't understand a word he was saying. And then I yelled at him for abandoning me. I made it extremely clear that I'm not Morrigan, not anymore, and that the woman he loved was gone."
"But, you are Morrigan, are you not?"
Jesse watched as Briallen's eyes hardened, wings twitching dangerously. "No," she said, voice clipped and sharp. "I am not. Morrigan Morgan was a murderous criminal. She and I may share a body, but we are nothing alike."
There was a flicker of emotion on Garstka's face, too quick for Jesse to catch, but Briallen had. She tensed, lifting her head and watching him carefully.
"Explain," he said simply, gesturing to her with his hands, and she flinched.
"I'm unclear on what you want me to explain, Agent Garstka, I thought I made myself very clear," she said slowly, looking like she was ready to leap out of her seat at a moment's notice. There was nothing predatory about her body language, if anything, she looked almost scared, ready to bolt. Whatever she'd seen in his face had spooked her.
"You mentioned you heard a voice that wasn't your own in your head earlier, and now you are saying you and Morrigan share a body. Is she speaking to you? Did you somehow develop another personality by rekindling those memories?"
She narrowed her eyes. "No. This is not a psych eval, sir. I would like it if we could move on." There it was, she was putting up walls again. Jesse could see why, these topics made her very uncomfortable, these were questions even he wouldn't ask her, but he wished she would stop being so damn defensive. Things would move a lot faster if she did.
"That isn't entirely correct, Panno Marsh," Garstka said, shaking his head. "It's my job to assess what happened and where you are right now, to determine if you're a threat to everyone in this base. And right now, it's sounding like you are. Now, I'm sure you don't want to be a threat, or to be seen as one, so if you aren't, you'd better start explaining things to me."
"I am not Morrigan Morgan, she does not exist anywhere except in my memories. I hear her in my anger, I hear her in my memories, and I hear her in my judgement which says not to trust you as far as I can toss you, Agent Garstka," she said lowly. "I heard her in the hangar when she told me I had targets to eliminate, and I chose to fight her. I think that proves I'm less of a threat than you're painting me to be." With that, she stood, putting distance between herself and Garstka. There was so much tension surrounding her, and her back muscles were pulled so taut, Jesse could see the bits of fuzz at the bases of her wings trembling.
Garstka didn't move, watching her with a keen eye. No doubt he could sense he was getting somewhere, needling her until he found those sore spots, and no doubt he was getting frustrated he couldn't prove she wasn't as innocent as she seemed. "How did you fight it? The brainwashing Doctor Morgan is known for is extremely powerful and nearly unbreakable by the subject without outside help. It should have been impossible for you to resist the urge to kill him."
She hesitated, wincing and drawing her arms up to hug her chest as she glanced back out at the glass. "It… It was Jesse's face. I saw it and I knew he wasn't… I couldn't do that to him. It was hard, but I couldn't… I couldn't hurt him. Uhm," she shook her head, bringing her hand up to rub her fingers across her lips, looking down at the ground. "Just the thought of hurting him like that, it made me sick. My brain went through all the ways I could…" Her voice caught in her throat and she cleared it, shaking her head again. "All the ways I could kill him. And I just couldn't. And then Lena showed up, and it got even harder. Gods, I love Lena, but… she was a threat. That's what I knew. They hurt me, they hurt Mother, that's what went through my mind, on repeat, like a fucked up mantra. They hurt me, they hurt Mother, they need to be eliminated… I don't remember when she did it to me, it must be somewhere in that abyss of memories I can't recall…" The look on her face was heartbreaking, like she didn't know what she could trust when it came to herself, how terrifying that thought was, and then she shook it off like it hadn't happened. "I don't know how I did it, sir."
"Do you think you could do it again?"
She gave him an alarmed look, her eyes wild and scared. "I don't know, and I'd rather not test it if that can be avoided."
Garstka nodded, narrowing his eyes just slightly before he waved his hands, looking away as he pulled out a pen. "Let's go over that list of yours. Which agents are you a danger to, Panno Marsh?"
She flinched, drawing back a bit more, and Jesse wanted to reach in there and slap him. He already had Briallen where he wanted her, he didn't need to torment her while he was at it.
Briallen cleared her throat, hugging herself tighter as she closed her eyes. "Uhm… Jack Morrison, Ana Amari, Angela Ziegler, Cadan Johns, Winston, Reinhardt Wilhelm, Kamilla Ekern, Torbjörn Lindholm, Lena Oxton, Oliver Oxton, Olivier Depoorter, Genji Shimada, Noêmia Lopes, Jesse McCree, Masashige Kimiko, Nikolai Egland, Tazwell Adams…" The list went on, a lot longer than Jesse would've liked it to. He knew that a handful of the agents she'd mentioned were already dead, either by her hand, or someone else's, he didn't know.
"That's a long list, Panno Marsh," Garstka said, pursing his lips as he looked down at the list in front of him.
"I was a very effective agent," she replied meekly, almost looking sick.
"You were a very effective pawn," he corrected, shooting her a look. "Why on earth is reporter Oliver Oxton on your list?"
She just shook her head. "I don't know sir, I only remember the faces and their names, not their transgressions."
Garstka grunted, turning back to his list, making small notes.
Briallen shifted uncomfortably, rubbing at her arms. "Is.. Is that all?"
After a few moments, Garstka put down his pen and smiled at her. "Let's talk about Gabriel Reyes again, shall we?"
Garstka kept her long into the night, which wasn't against protocol, but it meant the commanding officers also had to stay. Jesse didn't have to, but he did. He wasn't about to leave her there alone with Garstka, and… he was hoping to talk to her afterward, if she would like. He couldn't go into the room, of course, but with Athena's help, he might be able to talk to her through the glass.
"She wants to become a field medic, you know," he said quietly, his eyes locked on the girl in the glass. They had a short recess, allowing Briallen to eat a little more and gather herself again. Garstka had needled her to tears and couldn't move on until she'd calmed down. Jesse hated watching this, but he couldn't leave. He wouldn't abandon her.
Angela's head snapped up in surprise. "What?"
"She was talkin' with Hanzo about what she wants to do movin' forward, before we found out about this." He gestured to the window, watching as Briallen curled in on herself again. It hurt him to see her in so much distress, with him unable to do anything to soothe it. He ached to rush in there and just hold her until she felt safe, until she knew she was safe again. "She said Morrigan had hurt so many people and she wants to make up for it, wants to help people instead. God… she's such a different creature than she were before. I remember when she wouldn't've hesitated to rip my head off, and now?" he chuckled, letting his head droop as he looked down at the floor. "Now she's the sweetest damn woman I ever met."
Angela nodded. "Briallen Marsh is a far cry from the woman she used to be… I suppose we could use more field medics. It would be a while until she'd be allowed out on a mission unsupervised, but with the omnic part of her brain, I'm sure she'd be able to retain plenty of training a lot faster than most students, and her enhancements would make her a godsend in a pinch…" She frowned in thought, bouncing her foot.
"I just got one request, Doc?" Jesse looked up, his smile tired and weary. "Just make sure she's good and ready before you send her out alone."
Angela looked about ready to protest, possibly about to say something along the lines of "I'm not stupid, I've been at this a long time, I know not to send an untrained agent out into the field", but then she paused and glanced back up at Briallen, her eyes tracing those scars, and she nodded. "Of course, Jesse. I would rather avoid her getting hurt as well, that is always the goal, isn't it?" she asked, offering him a small smile and patting his hand.
Jesse sat quietly through the rest of the interrogation, even when the non-essential agents had left. By the time it was done, only he, Jack, Ana, and Winston were left. Reinhardt would be receiving a copy of the transcript as he was currently out on an op. It had taken too long, in Jesse's opinion, far too long, but Briallen's innocence had been proved. Tomorrow, Angela would set her up with a specialist to break through Aderyn's brainwashing. Depending on how deep it went, Briallen would be "back to normal" in a month. Jesse knew better. There was no such thing as "back to normal" when it came to shit like this. Sure, she'd be able to look at people again, but she'd never be the same, not entirely.
He waited until his COs had left, waited until he was sure they were alone, before he stood and approached the glass, laying one hand against it. "Athena, if you would please?"
"Of course, Jesse. Whenever you're ready."
"Hey there, sweetpea," he said, chuckling when Briallen jolted up in her seat, looking around. Her eyes were wide, as if afraid he'd show up in a corner or something. "Don't worry, I'm not comin' in. Love you to bits, sweetheart, but I seen you in action and I'm not lookin' to lose another arm tonight."
She smiled weakly, her exhaustion clear in her eyes, but she stood anyway, coming up to the glass with her arms crossed over her chest. "You have? I don't remember… I'm sorry it turned out like this… I really wish it hadn't. I was so looking forward to seeing you guys again…"
"I know. I'm a little to your left, sweetheart," he said, chuckling as she shimmied over, her gaze sightlessly dancing around, focusing nowhere near him. "A little more, that's it. There's that pretty face."
Her smile widened a bit and he saw her cheeks turn out a nice pink dusting. "And there's that Southern charm. I missed you. It was lonely in Talon… I met a friend of yours, they said their name was Bird."
"Yeah, Jay told me about you. I damn near pissed myself in relief when they told me you were okay," his smile widened at her giggle, though some part of him felt it bittersweet. How he wished the glass between them could just disappear, he just wanted to hold her, to feel her fingers in his hair. She didn't have to look at him, she was short enough that she could safely bury her face in his chest without looking at his face… But he knew that wasn't going to happen, not for a long time, and he didn't want to risk whatever emotional damage that might cost her. "Hanzo told me about what happened in Norfolk."
Her cheeks darkened and she turned her head a bit, trying to hide her smile. "Yeah?"
He chuckled. "Yeah. Said I interrupted a moment. Took you long enough, but you finally got him wrapped around your little finger. I think I might be right there with him."
She snorted, shaking her head. "From what Hanzo told me, I've always had you wrapped around my finger."
"Nah, not always. But I was fond of you from the beginning. It's not every day you're sent to go rescue a pretty civilian girl only to find she don't need rescuin'. Gotta admit, sweetheart, you looked pretty hot."
"I was covered in blood!" she protested, her eyes wide, but her smile unfading.
"And it was hot!" he laughed, shaking his head. "You looked like you'd hardly broken a sweat, and you had this look on your face…"
"Jesse McCree, you have such an odd taste in women," she laughed, shaking her head at him. "Did you know who I was?"
"No. You looked familiar, but I didn't know, not until later. But that don't change anythin', darlin'. I love you for who you are now, not who you were under all that brainwashing, you hear? And I will be here through all of this, no matter how long it takes, I'll be waiting, do you understand me, missy? You ain't gettin' rid of me that easily," he said, his smile fading just a bit as his gaze sharpened. He would not abandon her, not when she needed him most.
She was quiet for a bit, and Jesse could see the battle of emotions in her eyes. But she wasn't fighting herself, per say, more like trying to figure out how to respond. "Okay," she said softly, nodding. She reached up, laying her hand on the glass where his rested. For a second, it felt like she could see him, but then he saw how her eyes focused around where his elbow would be and chalked it up to dumb luck.
"I love you, sugar, ain't nothin' gonna change that," he said lowly, once again wishing they weren't separated by this damn piece of glass. One month, one month with you home, one month with you safe. He could wait one more month.
Her smile was serene as she looked up past his shoulder. "I love you too, Jesse."
Lena wasn't surprised when Jesse walked out of the observation room with a thunderous, slightly murderous look on his face. He'd always been the protective type, of his friends and his partners, and he knew exactly who had hurt Briallen, which was bound to amplify that a bit. He, however, looked surprised to see her.
"Lena? What are you doin' here? It's late," he said, blinking at her, some of that thunder beginning to fade.
"I was waiting for you, funnily enough. Walk and talk?" she suggested, offering him a small smile. There wasn't much more she could offer him, not when she felt almost as upset as she did. She didn't know who'd hurt her friend, just that her friend was hurt, and she had the innate urge to make sure that didn't happen again.
Jesse gave a noncommittal shrug, which was slightly out of character for him, and began walking down the hall. "Just as long as you ain't goin' a mile a minute, speed racer," he teased, though it fell flat.
Lena nodded and hurried to catch up with him, making sure to keep pace. "Is she okay?" she asked, first and foremost, because that was her friend and she needed to know.
"As okay as she can be. Got a nasty case of old brainwashing she's got to get over, some memories she's gotta compartmentalise, but she's alive," he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "There a reason you waited outside the O.R.?"
"I don't like interrogations. They make me feel sick. You and your old Blackwatch chums have stronger stomachs than the rest of us," she said, shaking her head. "Is there anything I can do?"
Jesse sighed, tilting his head back to look up at the ceiling as he walked, obviously chewing through a few thoughts. "Not right now. She needs company, that's for sure, but you and I aren't allowed anywhere near her until they've undone Aderyn's programmin'. She also needs sleep, lots of it…"
Lena frowned. "That bad, huh? Blimey, never thought she would… Strike Commander's written up a new op, just in case she- just in case something goes wrong. He's got a taskforce assigned to keep her subdued, put me on it, can't tell you why, though, I've never been good at actually fighting friends… That's a bloody long list she's got."
Jesse nodded, clenching his jaw. Maybe she shouldn't have brought up the new op, no matter how curious she was about her father's name being on the list. Whoops. "Of course he has," he growled, and Lena had the distinct impression he was balling his hands into fists within the confines of his pockets. "Jack's always "prepared"."
"Hey," she said, stopping and grabbing him by the arm. She looked earnestly up into his eyes. Jesse was her friend too, and she hated seeing him so upset, even if he had good reason. "Everything's gonna be fine, Jesse. It's just a contingency plan. We've got good specialists here who have proven they can undo the conditioning that comes from brainwashing. Briallen is going to be fine. I'll make sure to send Lucio or Hana to her temporary quarters tomorrow so she has company, we already know Hanzo's going to spend time down there with her. She isn't going to have to get through this on her own, she has all of us."
Jesse looked down at her, and for the first time, Lena could see how exhausted he was, physically and emotionally.
She sighed, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "It's gonna be alright, Jesse. We'll make sure she gets through this okay, and then we're all gonna baby her because she's "Jack's secret love child" and she's gonna get frustrated and yell at us, but there's not gonna be any venom in it because she knows we're doing it out of love."
""Jack's secret love child"?" Jesse asked, incredulous.
Lena chuckled, shrugging. "It's the rumour going 'round. You've seen the way he dotes on her, how easy on her he is. Doesn't help that they're both blonde, stubborn, and loyal to a fault."
"Huh," Jesse shook his head, looking slightly amused. "You know, if I didn't know for a fact that they ain't related, I might be a little bit convinced."
Lena smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Feeling better?"
"Yeah, a bit. Thanks, Lena. Now, I'm starvin'. I've been in that O.R. for a long spell, I need somethin' to eat."
"I'll race ya!" she said, perking up as a bit of her high-energy returned and she took off sprinting down the hallway.
Jesse just laughed as she sped away, calling after her. "Hey! That ain't fair!"