You knew exactly where to cut the slits in your sweater, how to twist and turn your wings to slip them through the new slits, how to pat down the fuzz at the bases so it didn't appear too lumpy under the fabric. Every move was smooth and practised, even if you hadn't done them for well over seven years. You still felt bad about having to cut into your shirts though. Maybe Eugene could help design and tailor some blouses to fit you better, he'd certainly enjoy the challenge. You'd have to have him adjust your skirts as well, you'd lost quite a bit of body mass in the procedure, not only losing a few inches, but quite a few pounds as well, which meant you'd dropped a size or two.

The fabric felt strange against the chitin of your wings, sending a shiver down your back. They didn't used to be this sensitive, you remembered, giving them an experimental flap. You watched as they stretched, elongating behind you, stretching out to reach the backs of your knees. That's right, you'd forgotten they folded up when not in use. You should have realised that, really, how could wings so small lift you up into the air?

You flapped your wings again, smiling as they caught the light and glistened, showing off an array of iridescent colours. You'd forgotten they did that. When you gently pulled one closer to take a look, it bent slightly, showing off a great deal more flexibility than you'd thought they had. Your fingers traced some of the thick lines of chitin, holding back a chuckle at the tickle that came from the action. The wing felt soft under your touch, covered in a fine dusting of hair-like fibres which would allow them to lock together during flight. You released the limb, letting it flutter back into place.

'What does flying feel like?' you wondered, flexing those muscles as you looked into the mirror. You didn't remember. You hadn't tried to do it since the procedure, O'Deorain having warned you off about it, saying your wings were still developing and were nowhere near strong enough to lift you off the ground without breaking. She never did give a timeframe for how long it would take for them to harden completely. Given the fact that they were still bendy, you didn't want to test anything out. Sighing, you rolled your shoulders back, hearing them crack as your wings shrunk back into place, tucked neatly against your back.

You looked up in the mirror to examine your scars again, because even after months of having them, you still forgot you had them, forgot what they looked like on your body, and you froze when you met your own gaze. Your eyes darkened, and a wicked grin split your lips. Your scars had disappeared. You recognised that face.

"No!" In a flash of fear and anger, you lashed out, fist shattering the glass before you could stop yourself. When you blinked, Morrigan no longer resided in the mirror and only your face, eyes wide and skin white as a sheet, peered back at you from the fractured splinters. You were panting, covered in a coating of cold sweat, and your hand ached. It took you a moment to gather yourself before you hurried to the bathroom to pull out the shards of glass before your hand could heal around them. It sucked and hurt like a bitch, and you let out more than one long curse as you did, but it didn't even compare to how shaken you still were.

That wasn't the first time you'd seen Morrigan in the mirror. It always happened when you were alone, when you didn't expect it. You hadn't told anyone, how could you? The obvious answer would be "Of course you're seeing Morrigan, you two look exactly alike!" But you knew better. Morrigan's eyes had a more sinister tint to them, her laugh lines were nearly invisible, and she was more gaunt. She was nothing like you.

Tears slipped down your cheeks as you disposed of the glass shards and washed the blood off your hands, trying to get the image of that warped smile out of your head. Your mind just laughed at you, replaying some of those gods awful memories which you wish you never recovered. You were helpless as Morrigan taunted you through them. Your ears rang as you stumbled into the living room, your vision blurring as whispers filled your head. You hadn't realised you'd been saying anything, until your voice rose well above a whisper, anger bubbling up behind it.

"Stop it, stop it, stop it!" you screamed, fists gripping at your hair until you spotted a mug sitting on the counter. Without thinking, you grabbed it and whirled around, flinging it at the wall, as if by doing so you were throwing it at Morrigan herself. "Stop!"

The ringing and the whispers ceased when the china shattered against the wall, splashing cold coffee across the wallpaper. You were breathing raggedly, wings twitching behind you as you fought to gather yourself. It was getting worse. During your time in Talon, you'd only had one or two of these episodes after the procedure. Now, having been back at Overwatch for nearly three days, they were happening more frequently. This was your third one since the interrogation, and each episode was getting worse than the last.

You hadn't thrown anything before, hadn't smashed any glass. In fact, up until this point you'd been able to keep your anger contained and had been able to keep the mania at a minimum. Up until this point the episodes had only been somewhere between a minute and thirty seconds long. This one had lasted longer, at least two minutes by the look of the clock. You couldn't tell if it was a side effect from the brainwashing or if it was a conflict between Morrigan's personality or your own. You didn't know, and not knowing scared you.

Trembling, you sank to your knees letting out a heavy sob. Finally, finally her voice was gone, finally you could hear yourself think, finally you were alone. The relief washed over you, followed quickly by a wave of exhaustion and you felt almost hollow. You were crying again, you realised. Gods, how often were you going to do that? It was kind of pathetic.

The door slid open and you looked up to find a very worried Hanzo looking in, his gaze scanning the room until he found you. His jaw was set, his eyes wide as he looked down at you. What a sight you must have been; skirts flared around you, makeup running down your face, your hair probably a wreck. You felt like disappearing into the floor.

"Hachi?" he asked, stepping cautiously into the room. His gaze never left you. "I heard shouting, are you okay?"

You blinked a couple times, trying to think. You didn't want to explain it, didn't want to tell him what happened. He'd think you're unstable, dangerous, crazy. What would that do to your relationship? Would it ruin it? It probably would. He'd talk to Jesse, and Jesse would know, and then he'd never look at you with that stupid fucking love-sick grin of his again. "I… yeah, I'm okay," you lied, trying for a smile, but ending up with a grimace.

Hanzo cocked his head, like he didn't believe you. But he didn't push it, just looked at you with the softest, most worried look he'd ever given you, and you broke. He was at your side in a fraction of a second, you didn't even hear his feet hit the carpet before he swept you up and brought you to the couch. No doubt he noticed the shattered coffee mug and the stained wallpaper, but he didn't comment on it, just sat you down on the couch, hands cupping your cheeks as he crouched down in front of you.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," you blubbered, shaking your head. "I p-p-promise."

He furrowed his eyebrows, the edges of his lips curling up just a bit as he ran his thumbs across your cheeks. "What do you need, Hachi?" he asked, listing his head a bit as he made sure you met his gaze.

"What?" you managed, sniffling and tugging at the hem of your sweater.

He chuckled, a soft, sweet sound that was surprisingly soothing. "What do you need right now? I can make you some coffee, I can go get you some comfort food, I can grab a blanket and just hold you. Whatever you need, sweetheart," he said softly, smiling just the slightest bit.

Your heart stuttered and you paused, looking down at him. This was… new. You'd never been asked what you needed, everyone just assumed they knew best and you went along with it. You'd never had to think about it before. Also, pet names were exceedingly rare with Hanzo, you didn't think you'd ever even heard him use one with Jesse. It threw you for a loop.

"No… No coffee," you said finally, glancing over at the broken coffee mug. You sniffled, turning your gaze back to him. The way he looked at you, so open and expectant, made you ache. "I don't-I don't think I can eat anything right now… I don't know what I want."

"That is okay. Let's start with things you don't want, then. Do you want me to leave?"

"No, please!" You quickly shook your head, hands flying up to clasp at his wrists as your eyes widened. You didn't want to be alone, a part of you was afraid you'd slip into another episode if you were.

He chuckled, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead. "It's okay, Hachi. Are you cold?"

You shook your head again, finally having narrowed it down in your head. "Just.. hold me?" you asked tentatively, shuddering through a quiet sob.

He smiled, rubbing his thumb against your cheek as he stood. "As you wish, Hachi," he murmured, kissing the top of your head before he settled down on the couch next to you.

You quickly climbed into his lap, tucking your head into the crook of his neck and tucked your hands against his chest, hiccuping softly. His scent washed over you, encompassing you as you closed your eyes, feeling his pulse in your fingers. Being smaller now, it was easier to lose yourself in his embrace, easier to feel completely encapsulated by him.

He did as he said he would, just sitting there and holding you until the hiccups and the threat of tears had subsided. You'd almost fallen asleep, but the knowledge that you had to talk about what happened kept you awake.

"I… I'm not okay," you admitted, burrowing your face entirely into the side of his neck, not wanting or able to meet his gaze. "Ever since… Ever since I started remembering things, I've had these little episodes… It was only one or two at first, nothing bad, just a few seconds of anger, and then nothing, I was fine…"

"But today it got worse," he said, nodding sagely. His voice rumbled through his chest, the vibrations soothing.

"Mmn." You nodded. "I know I need to get help, but I can't see Dr. Penn until after… After I'm no longer a threat to my friends. It got bad, Han," you whispered, shaking your head. "I saw her in the mirror, and then she was fucking whispering to me. And it only went quiet after I threw the cup… I got so angry. It scares me."

He hummed softly, thumb massaging a circle into your arm as he thought. "I'm sorry, Hachi. That does sound scary," he murmured, nodding again. "But you'll get through this. You are such a strong woman, I have no doubt. Jesse and I will be here for you too. If you need me I'm only a call away, you know this."

You sat up in his lap, wiping the residual tears away from your cheeks as you met his gaze. Your fingers played across the slight stubble that littered his jaw. He hadn't shaved recently. Your ran your palm against it, the resulting prickle grounding you in the moment, really cementing in the fact that he was here. You smiled as he turned his head, kissing your palm, and gently turned his head back to kiss him. Your wings quivered as he rested his hands lightly on your waist, letting you set the pace and determine how far to take it. When you pulled away, there was no complaint, no words, just a soft smile and a gentle squeeze of assurance; it was okay.

You couldn't help the stupid smile you got, shaking your head at yourself as that emptiness slowly started to fade. "Gods, I'm a wreck," you murmured, groaning at yourself as you rested your foreheads together, keeping his gaze. "Brainwashed, possibly psychotic, definitely depressed… I still don't even know what we are."

"That depends on what you want, Hachi," he said quietly, his gaze never leaving yours. "You're the only one holding back."

You blinked, a little surprised by that notion. It hit you then that, yeah, you really were the only one holding back. Both Jesse and Hanzo had expressed their desires in one way or another, you were the only one who hadn't decided what she wanted. "I… I love Jesse and I definitely care about you," you started, sitting back a bit, letting your hands fall into your lap as you looked away. "I think… I want the both of you… if-if you'll have me." It felt weird to say that, it felt strange to put it into words, but that's the way it came out, and you cringed.

Hanzo just laughed softly, reaching up to turn your gaze back to him. "You've already got us, Hachi. There are going to be some growing pains and some kinks to work out, but you've got us." He ran his thumb across your lips, giving you a smile similar to the one Jesse got when he thought you weren't looking.

You cheeks picking up a blush, you reached up to slip your hand into his, his knuckles pressed against your lips as you shot him a sly smile. "Kinks, huh?" you asked, just to be a little bit difficult.

To your surprise, he chuckled, cocking his head and regarding you quietly for a second before he let out a breath. "You'd be surprised. Jesse likes to hold hands," he murmured, watching your lips with interest.

You quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You know what, I can see it," you said, nodding a bit as your cheeks took on a deeper blush; you could totally see being slowly edged along, his hands tucked firmly into yours, pinning them to the pillows- Your wings quivered slightly and you grinned as Hanzo thumbed your side, reading your expressions with ease. "And you, mo grá?" you asked softly, meeting his gaze.

He just smiled wolfishly and tugged you flush against his chest, arm wrapping around your waist as he pressed a kiss to the back of your jaw. "Wouldn't you like to learn?"

"Is this going to be a hands-on lesson?" you asked, nearly jolting up out of his lap when you felt his fingers brush against the fuzz at the base of your wings. Wow, yeah, those were super fucking sensitive. "Because I don't learn well from just taking notes."

His responding chuckle was deep and made the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. "I can't think of a better way to teach you, Hachi. You'd better pay attention, then," he rumbled, nipping lightly at your neck.

You sucked in a breath. "Yessir."

Being Winston's assistant meant more than just transferring files and filing reports. You had a budget to watch, multiple agents that reported to you when Winston wasn't available, requests to field, and a small department to help manage. Many field ops were sent directly to you for archival, which meant you had to field a lot of those as well. If that wasn't enough for you, if ever there was an emergency and Jack, Ana, Reinhardt, Winston, and any of their prospective assistants weren't available, by title alone, you were on the list to take charge. You hadn't really thought about that, about those implications. You certainly weren't one for leadership, at least, you didn't think so. It wasn't like you'd had many opportunities to test that.

You didn't have to work, in fact, Angela had tried to veto the notion, but you needed something to do, and you didn't want to spend all this time distracting working agents or moping about alone in your room. So work continued on, even with your current afflictions, and you found many agents pinging in their concerns, well wishes, and "congratulations on the anniversary of your annual rotation around the sun". You were more than sure that was from Winston's tech junkies. They never seemed to tire of ribbing you for not knowing anything remotely tech related, especially since you worked for the gorilla. You didn't mind too much, they were a friendly lot, invited you to some lunches here and there before Norfolk. It was nice to see that, after everything that had happened, some things didn't change.

"No, Winston, I'm telling you, you're going to go over budget with this one," you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, somewhat wishing that being conditioned to kill him meant you didn't have to listen to his rants over the phone. Unfortunately, your brain wasn't programmed for an audial tripwire, so you had to put up with it. "I understand that it's important, but I can't field any more requests for that titanium alloy this week, let alone anything remotely radioactive. See if Torbjörn has any left over, I'm sure he'd be happy to share. Yes, I'm aware he's been grumpy as of late. Maybe bring him some of that Tunnbrödsrulle he likes."

You rubbed your cheek, shaking your head as you paced. For someone so smart, sometimes you wondered if Winston ever really thought things through. You couldn't be too harsh on him, though. He just got so sucked into some of his projects that he didn't really stop to think about the consequences of some of those actions. It was like dealing with a 220 kilogramme toddler in a sense, even if that did sound a little bit of an insult to Winston.

"Listen, Winston, he's your friend. He won't be upset that you came to talk to him. Yes, I'm sure. Look, I would love to stay on the phone with you all day, but I've got reports to file, I- yes. Thank you." You let out a loud sigh as you hung up, collapsing back onto your couch with a dramatic flair.

Piddie looked up from his perch on the back, letting out a sleepy "Mrrw?" as he got up and stretched before hopping down to lay on your stomach.

"Be grateful you don't have thumbs, Pids," you said, running your fingers through his soft fur, "or else I'd make you file the reports. You could be my little office cat. I'd put you in a little suit with a teeny little bowtie, and Brigitte would lose her mind whenever she'd drop by."

Euripides just flicked his ears, looking down at you with those pretty green eyes of his.

"Oh, don't look at me like that, you know you love the attention she gives you. She's absolutely enamored by the fact that you don't have a tail."

A knock on the door saved Piddie from any more of your devious machinations, and startled you. You hadn't been expecting any visitors today, no one had said they'd drop by. You found Hana, Genji, and Lucio outside the door. Almost immediately, you ducked behind it, closing your eyes.

"Genji, you're not supposed to be here! You're on the list!" you said, gritting your teeth, even if it didn't feel like you were fighting against Morrigan. It was better to be safe than sorry.

"I have my mask," he said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "As long as you cannot see my face, we are fine, right?" You could practically hear that smug smile. Apparently the habit of not following rules ran deep in Blackwatch blood. He held up a large plastic bag as you peered around the door. "I have offerings of cake and snacks!"

Hana smiled up at you, holding up her own bag. "I brought the drinks! Lucio's got the cups and everything. We thought we'd surprise you, you know, since you're so lonely down here." She eyed your neck knowingly, and you instinctively covered up where the mark had been, even though it had long since faded. She smirked. "So, are you going to let us in or what?"

You sighed and opened the door all the way, gesturing them in. "Of-Of course! You-" you paused, spotting the second bag Lucio carried in. More importantly, spotting the little bits of shiny spirals that stuck out of the top. "Nách mór an diabhal thú.You didn't. Tell me you didn't!"

Lucio smiled at you, shaking his head. "What, did you think we were going to forget about your birthday, girl? Uh-uh! No way! You're another year older, and that's awesome!"

"Yeah, what's it feel like to be old?" Hana called teasingly from the kitchenette as she helped Genji set up the snacks and everything.

You crossed your arms over your chest, shutting the door behind them. "I don't know, how about you ask Genji? He's the oldest out of all of us!"

Genji just laughed. "Perhaps you should ask my brother, Briallen. He would know better than I." You couldn't see it, but you knew he had a stupid little smirk on his face when he looked up at you. Bastard.

Hana made a face. "Yeah, that's right! I can't believe you're dating that old fartbag. Does Jesse know?"

You blinked, realising that Hana hadn't been around to see how Jesse was around you, all love-sick and dopey as shit. "Of course he knows."

Hana gaped, looking between you and the two men in the room, one of whom was desperately holding back a snicker. You wanted to shove a fork in his thermal coils.

"And he's okay with this?" Hana asked, her eyes wide. It was amusing to see how surprised she could get.

You chuckled, hugging yourself a bit. "Of course, he's the one who suggested it. He is part of this relationship too, you know."

Hana's gape turned to a gawk, as she stared at you, open mouthed. "No fucking way you bagged both of them."

"It should have been obvious, Hana," Genji said, giving her a gentle nudge. "My brother is not overly fond of anyone besides her and McCree. Everyone noticed how tense they were when she disappeared."

"Yeah, those were not a fun two months. Jesse pretty much nagged everyone who had clearance day in and out about something called an APB, and Hanzo wasn't much better," Lucio said, shaking his head. "They were not over raising hell over it all, even if we couldn't do anything because we couldn't find the base."

Your heart stuttered a bit as you drew your shawl around yourself. You hadn't realised how much your disappearance had impacted them, had thought they would have gone about it with a clear head. "They… They were that worried about me?" you asked quietly, looking between your friends.

They went quiet, a small ripple of surprise running through them.

"We all were, Bri," Hana said, frowning sadly. "We were all scared something bad happened to you and that…"

"That you wouldn't make it home," Lucio finished, nodding at Hana, who shook her head and cleared her throat. "We've all lost friends, Briallen. Some of us too many to count, we were afraid you were going to be lost too."

You felt your chest squeeze, and you came around the side of the counter, wrapping both Lucio and Hana up in a hug. "I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean-"

"Do not apologise for something you could not have controlled, Briallen," Genji sighed, shaking his head at you. "You are at no fault here, so do not blame yourself. You will never grow if you blame yourself for the actions, or inactions of others."

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, opening the hug for him. "Stop spouting wisdom and join the hug, tin man," you teased, smiling as he heaved a giant sigh before joining in.