Monster Island- 3 AM
30 Days Before Great Battle
After the meeting, I stayed away from everyone, including Minilla, my son. I mean, he didn't say anything, but I just needed to be alone.
I was at the shore, as usual. A lot of shit happened earlier that made me feel like I did when my old man died. I felt weak. I felt small. Like a bug.
I felt vulnerable.
I was too busy being a sad shit to hear Baragon try and talk to me. I completely ignored him.
"Hey, Big G," he said to me. "You okay? Dude? If you don't want to talk, that's cool. I understand that what happened earlier kinda made you feel a little vulnerable." Hey, didn't I just say that?
"I also understand that it's a hard life for you. I mean, you lost your dad pretty early. That's something hard to get over. The other guys shouldn't have said those things. I honestly didn't find them funny, either. When you left, they moved from you being stupid to..well...some deeper stuff. I left around there. Didn't say a word. Not even an insult." I still didn't budge.
Baragon's pretty fucking mature, despite how he has a childlike attitude. He knew it was getting hit close to home. He knew I was getting really upset. He chose to leave the other monsters because he saw that they hurt me. He was hurt, too.
That's what I like about him. He's got respect. Cares about others. Not just himself.
"It's kinda funny, actually," I said after a long silence.
"What is?" Baragon asked me.
"I try to only care about myself. I want to be in power. I want to control. I want to dominate. I want the old-fashioned 'Monster Way'. Y'know, fighting for glory. You...You care about others. You want to have shared power. You don't want to be in control of everything. You only fight anything that tries to destroy the universe. You want the modern-day 'Monster Way'. You want to fight for freedom. We're like a yin-yang, almost."
"W-where did this come from, Big G?"
"I was just thinking about it."
"Ah."
There was some more silence. I like silence. I mean, I don't mind Baragon, but silence is peaceful. Sitting with Baragon is peaceful. Sitting with Baragon in silence is peaceful. It's...I don't know how to describe it. It's...
Amazing.
Woah. Woah, woah, woah, woah. What am I saying? What is this? Do I...?
Do I actually...?
Am I...?
In...?
"H-h-hey, Baragon," I start to say to him.
"What?" he asks me.
"Uh...ah...eh..."
"What is it?"
"...n-nevermind..."
"No, tell me."
"It's stupid. Forget it."
"No. Just tell me, Big G."
"Believe me. It was stupid."
"C'mon, man. You're always hiding away from everyone, sad or not. Tell me what's up." He got real close to me. I didn't feel really uncomfortable. Like my personal space is shrinking or something.
"I...uh...it's..." I stutter. Since when did I stutter? I don't act like this, and I don't think friends act like this, either.
"Gojira. C'mon. Tell me," Baragon said. That's the first time I've ever head him say my real name. That's the first time ANYBODY has ever said my real name. I never told anybody. How did he know?
I was almost gonna crack when we heard rustling from behind us. It was a couple of those Kam..Kama...mantis guys. Baragon, with his favorite food being the mantises (manti?), quickly ran off to hunt the group. I sighed a sigh of relief. I wasn't pressured. I had time to myself. I was saved by the bug.
But, at the same time, I felt kinda lonely. When Baragon got kinda close to me, I didn't want him to leave. Him being there and all. I wanted to...
...To hug the little bastard.
Oh my god. I think that I might...
N-no. No, no...That goes against the natural order. I'm supposed to love my own kind.
But, then again, the only living people of my kind I know of are my son and I. My whole family is my kind, so it would be incest, anyway. But how did I lay an egg?
What's going on with me? I'm losing it.