Monster Island

MONSTER ISLAND MONSTER RUMBLE!

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAAAAYYY

COME SEE THIS WEEK'S EXCITING MATCH:

THE EARTH DEFENDERS /VS/ THE ONE AND ONLY GIGAN 2.0

ADULT TICKETS ARE $15

KIDS AND OLD PEOPLE ARE FREE

SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAAAAYYY

"..HAVE AT YOU!"Gigan roared as he sharpened his futuristic hooks.

"But," Mothra explained, "it's all of us against just you."

"I-I know! I jusht didn't think thish plan through!"

"We'll just kick your ass, you know."

"Well, uh, I, uh...ah..." He looked around for a moment, then lightly tapped his eye/visor with a hook. His eye started flashing a bright red, and he was murmuring something. I think he was saying something about how he should have been in charge of making plans or something. Gigan started cackling again.

"Luckily," he said, "I have planned for thish short of thing. Ash we shpeak, I am contacting the Mothership, which will shupply me with more monshters, and then I will be the shmarter one here!"

We all waited a few minutes, seeing what will happen. After a long silence, I asked him what was taking so long.

"Hello!" Gigan said sarcastically. "It taksh a while for the shignal to be notished. Didn't you learn about shpaysh? There'sh a dishtansh between ush and the Mothership. You know, shpaysh shtuff!"

And then we all waited some more.

"A-any time now, trusht me," He said a little nervously. "Any...shecond...now...any...time..."

"They aren't coming, are they?" I asked him.

"Of coursh they are! They trusht me! I wouldn't have my shignal inshtalled if they didn't care, right?" He began to chuckle nervously.

Finally, after fifteen minutes of waiting, another tremor happened.

"YESH! HAHAHA! THEY'RE HERE! NOW, FAYSH THE TRUE POWER OF GIGAN!" he triumphantly said. And then we waited for the other monster(s) to get over here. By the time they got here, all of us, Gigan included, were restless.

"NOW THEN! LADIESH, GENTLEMEN, CHILDREN...uh...MUTANTSH...uh...ah..."

"For god's sake, just get it over with!" shouted Big G's Grandpaps. Oh yeah, I forgot he was here.

"Sheesh, you guysh like to ruin my fun, don't ya?" Gigan retorted. "...where wash-OH YESH. Shay hello to...what the fuck?"

He was taken by surprise to see that the monsters at his side were a gigantic condor and a weird, green lumpy guy with orange hair and a single horn on his forehead.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!? THISH ISH THE THANKSH I GET FOR AGREEING TO WORK WITH SHOME GODDAM ALIENSH!? OF ALL THE MONSHTERSH IN THE UNIVERSH, THEY HAD TO GIVE ME THE GIANT CONDOR AND FUCKING GABARA!?"

"Hey," the green monster, who I think was Gabara, piped up. "Don't complain, you little shit."

"DID YOU JUSHT CALL ME A LITTLE SHIT? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE MOSHT ADVANSH'D CREATURE EVER! I AM THE RESHULT OF A COMBINATION OF MACHINE AND-"

"At least I can talk without sounding like I have a kazoo up my ass!"

"YOU SHUNUVABITCH!"

The two kept bickering, and the Giant Condor just nudged away quietly, not wanting Gigan to notice he's leaving. The whole thing was a riot. What was going to be anticipated as a fight ended up as a spectacle of two immature monsters making fun of each other. Big G's Grandpaps was about to blow his atomic breath at the two while they were still at it, but my dad put his arm out Grandpap's chest as if to say 'Don't do it, pal.'

After a while, Mothra decided this was getting ridiculous and use her antennae lightning powers to get the their attention.

"YOU LITTLE SHOOWOWOWOWOOOWW!" Gigan yelled as he grabbed his buttocks in pain. "THAT WAS MY ASH, YOU ASH-HOLE!"

Gabra gave a snicker, but then Mothra zapped him right in the rear, too.

"The hell was that for!?" he demanded.

"Look, you two," Mothra said, "this isn't going to get any of us anywhere. Gabara, apologize to Gigan for insulting him."

"I'm sorry that I insulted you, Gigan," Gabra mumbled.

"And you, Gigan. You apologize to Gabara."

"What for!? I didn't do any-" Gigan started.

"Just apologize, Gigan."

"Rgrggrgh...I'm shorry, Gabara," he muttered.

"Good," Mothra said. "Now, either you two start acting mature and get this fight over with, or...uh...erm...You know what I mean."

If all the monsters were a family, Mothra would probably be the caring mom. She's so caring that she'll even make the bad guys behave. Hah. I gotta tell Goji...Godzil...B-Big G...all about this if and when we find him.

"It'sh not really worth fighting now," Gigan said. "If we're jusht gonna talk it out and shit..."

"C'mon, Gigan," Gabara said. "Let's fight the shitheads. The sooner we beat them up, the sooner we'll get out of here. Right, Giant Con-Where the fuck is he?"

"What do you mean, 'Where the fuck ish-'Where the fuck ish Giant Condor?"

Giant Condor was nowhere in sight. He probably left during Mothra's talk. Let's all hope he won't be a threat later.

"Shcrew him,"Gigan said. "Let'sh get thish done and over with."

And with that, we fought. And, like any other battle, Gigan and Gabara were beamed back up to their Mothership with the shame and guilt of knowing they lost. Yep, we whooped their asses, as usual.

It wasn't what I hoped it would be, but at least I got to see some rival monsters, again. The Giant Condor must have been beamed up, too, because he hasn't been seen on the island at, and we looked everywhere after the battle.

I think I need to go rest. I'm starting to..erm...feel a little...like...

Okay, I don't know if I have said this enough, but I really, really, really miss Big G, and I want him home and safe. But neither is gonna happen soon. It never works like that.

I just hope he's okay, wherever he is.