Mass Effect 1: World Without End

by Manda091987

Commander Hayden J. Shepard of the SSV Normandy recruits an elite recon squad to cross a turmoiled galaxy in a desperate race to stop the return of an enemy who holds no mercy. To prevent this outcome, Shepard must act outside the limits of the law without remorse and hesitation. Her only imperative is to preserve the safety of civilized life in the galaxy - at any cost.

7. Shepard's Troop

Title: ME1: World Without End

Author: Amanda Rau (manda091987)

Game: Mass Effect 1

Characters/Pairing: (Characters) All from Mass Effect 1 (Pairing) N/A

Disclaimer: All characters, the name 'Shepard', and story are the sole property of Bioware. Hayden is mine. Some words and items are mine and are indicated with an *. Please ask for permission for use of these things.

—

After debrief, I took a rather long hot shower, then went through my routine before settling down in my room with tea. I was going over some reports when there was a knock at my door.

"Come in."

Karen entered with her kit in hand. "Since you won't come to me, I am coming to you."

I sighed. "Sorry, Doc."

"I thought I would bandage up your arm."

"Please." I motioned for her to sit. "You know, through everything, I didn't even bother to apologize for addressing you by your first name. I shouldn't disrespect you like that."

"You didn't," she replied, then looked up at me with a smile. "I like it when you use my first name. But I understand that you have a ship to run, and you are the Commander. If you feel that it is best, call me Doctor or Doctor Chakwas."

"I don't prefer to." I shook my head. "I…" I took a deep breath "… you mean the world to Steve, and you mean the world to me. If I had my way…."

Karen chuckled. "I'm happy with where I'm at with Steven. He's a good man."

I told her, "Steve's scared. He cares about you, and he doesn't want to lose you. So in his mind, he thinks that if he marries you, he'll lose you like he lost Sarah. It was tragic. But he's not the guy that every bad thing happens to."

"Of course he's not," Karen responded. "He has you. You were and are the greatest thing that has happened to him."

"He won't have me forever. But he will have you forever. I've never had a mother figure in my life." I looked down. "If I could have chosen—"

"I know, and I would have picked you," Karen said softly. "You were a wonderful kid, and you are a phenomenal woman, Hayden."

"Thank you" I smiled, "Karen."

Karen noted muscle tremors and slight seizing, evidence that the numbing chemical I'd applied hours beforehand was starting to wear off. She peeled back the towel, studying the scorched traces of armor on my skin, as well as the surrounding bruises. Karen injected me with a muscle relaxer, then used a cooling gel to keep everything else calm and pain-free. She then tied it up so the gel wouldn't rub off and my armor or uniform wouldn't irritate the sensitive skin. Just watching her work was almost therapeutic. I was happy she was here with me.

"At least your armor works; this could have been a lot worse," she confessed.

As Karen patched me up, I decided to ask her about Kaidan. "Karen, how well do you know the Lieutenant?"

"I never worked with him before Eden Prime. But he has an impressive service record. Over a dozen special commendations." She jolted her shoulders. "Tends to keep to himself, though. Maybe because of the headaches. It's not easy being an L2."

I furrowed my brows at her. "What does that have to do with it?"

"Well, like you, most biotics now use the L3 implants. Alenko was wired with the old L2 configuration. Sometimes there are complications."

"What kind of complications?" I questioned.

Karen shook her head. "Severe mental disabilities, insanity, crippling physical pain. There's a long list of horrific side effects. Kaidan's lucky. He just gets migraines."

"Hmm..." I sat thinking about him.

There was another knock on my door, and in walked the L.T. It was as if Kaidan knew he was being talked about.

"I am sorry, Commander, I can come back."

"No, it's fine, Kaidan. What can I do for you?"

The Doctor quickly finished while Kaidan stood by my desk. She cleaned up her things and left my cabin. There was a long pause before Kaidan continued.

"I just came by to drop off the mission reports. I have Tali's as well." He set them on the desk and headed for the door.

"Kaidan, wait," I called to him. "Indulge me for a minute?"

I gestured for the Lieutenant to sit across from me in the chair. As he got closer, dark brown eyes focused on the nerf football-sized scar on my right leg, just above the ankle. His features had an inquisitive but apprehensive expression.

"Is this where...?"

"Yes. I had gotten out of the truck at the wrong time."

"Actually, I was hoping you could spare me a minute."

"By all means." I motioned for him to speak freely.

"Off the record, I think there's something wrong here," he began. "This Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction. But we can't get back-up from the Council? Sorry, Commander. There's writing on the wall here, but someone isn't reading it."

I agreed with him, "The Council doesn't want to believe anything's wrong. I'd call it human nature, but..."

"I hear ya." He chuckled lightly. "It just seems like a group that's been around as long as the Council should see this coming. It's funny. We finally get out here, and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don't seem too impressed by the view. Or the dangers."

"Well, well, you're a romantic? Did you sign on for 'the dream', Alenko? Secure man's future in space?"

His expression was nervous, though he was smiling. "Yeah. I read a lot of those books when I was a kid. Where the hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of the girl he loves. Or, you know. For justice. I was a romantic in the beginning. But I thought about it after Brain Camp— sorry, 'Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training'. I'm not looking for 'the dream'. I just want to do some good. See what's out there. Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn't a big focus back in BAaT."

"Tell me about it," I said.

"Okay. 'Biotic Acclamation and Temperance' didn't last past the airlock. To the kids they hauled in, it was 'Brain Camp'. Sorry, 'hauled in' is unkind. We were 'encouraged to commit to an evaluation of our abilities, so an understanding of biotics could be compiled'. There are worse results of 'accidental' exposure to element zero in the womb. Beats the brain tremors some kids grew up with."

"Is there some question about how you were exposed?" I wondered.

Kaidan shook his head. "My mother was downwind of a transport crash. It was before there were human biotics. A little after the discovery of the Martian ruins. It only gets iffy around '63 when Conatix was running out of first-gen subjects. Until then, they'd relied on accidentals. A bunch of guys in suits show up at your door after school. Next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero."

"There were other kids in the same boat, right? At least you weren't alone out there."

He smiled. "That's true. We did have a little circle that'd get together every night before lights-out. We didn't have much to do, though. It was a research platform then, and Conatix kept Jump Zero off the extranet to prevent leaks."

"Then you must have had plenty of time to get to know each other."

"Yeah. We'd sit around and bull every night after dinner. Play cards or network games," he confessed. "There was this girl named Rahna, who had a little circle grow up around her. She was from Turkey. Her family was very rich. But she was smart and charming as hell. Beautiful, but not stuck up about it. Like you or Ashley, I guess. ma'am."

"Sounds like she was special to you."

"She was. Maybe she felt the same, but..." Kaidan trailed off a little. "Things never fell together. Training. You know?"

I sensed he didn't want to continue with Rahna, so I moved on. "Jump Zero's a long way from home. What was it like?"

"The grand gateway to humanity looks a lot better in the vids. Anyway, this was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago."

"I wanted to get to know you a little better, that's all. Thanks for the talk, Kaidan." I nodded.

"Well, you're welcome, ma'am." Kaidan smiled. "You make a habit of getting this personal with everyone?"

"Not everyone. Just those nearby. I want to make sure there is trust and accountability."

"I understand, Commander."

Kaidan excused himself, leaving my cabin. A few hours later, after cleaning up and answering messages, fidgeting in light of boredom became too overwhelming. It would take a few days to reach the Citadel, so I decided to use my time wisely by connecting with my crewmen. I left my room, summoning the elevator. I stared over and saw Kaidan talking to two other techs. He was reviewing information on a datapad they offered him while they continued conversing. He noticed me, causing me to make a silly face and him to chuckle slightly.

I boarded the elevator when it came to a halt, riding it down to cargo. I felt something compelling me to migrate toward Wrex as soon as the door opened. I padded off the lift, approaching the large krogan, intimidatingly standing there with arms crossed.

"Shepard," Wrex greeted. "What can I do for you?"

"What's your story, Wrex?" I wondered, hopping up on a crate next to him.

"There's no story," Wrex remarked. "Go talk to the quarian if you want stories."

"You krogan live for centuries. Don't tell me you haven't had a few exciting adventures," I prodded.

"Well, there was this one time the turians almost wiped out our entire race. That was fun," Wrex said sarcastically.

"I heard about that. You know, the turians almost did the same to us," I tried to connect.

"It's not the same," Wrex retorted.

I shrugged. "Seems pretty much the same to me."

"So your people were infected with a genetic mutation? An infection that makes only a few in a thousand children survive birth? And I suppose it is destroying your entire species?"

"All right, it isn't the same," I surrendered.

"I don't expect you to understand, but don't compare humanity's fate with the krogan, Shepard. You seem to be smarter than that."

"I was just making conversation," I confessed. "I wasn't trying to upset you."

"Your ignorance doesn't bother me, Shepard."

"Ignorance?" I retaliated. "The Genophage was a biological weapon deployed against the krogan by the turians during the Krogan Rebellions. It was designed to limit numbers by 'infecting' the species with a genetic mutation. The genophage's modus operandi is not to reduce the fertility of females but rather the probability of viable pregnancies. Many die in stillbirth, with most fetuses never even reaching that stage of development. Every cell in each krogan is infected to prevent the use of gene therapy to counteract it. Though the Genophage didn't get designed as a 'sterility plague', the combination of a low frequency of viable pregnancies with the krogan proclivity to violence and indifference about focused breeding makes your people a dying race, and soon to be extinct."

"Okay..."

"Also," I continued, "the salarians generated the Genophage. They believed that, as the consequences would be so devastating, no one would ever deploy the Genophage, thus wielding it as a deterrent. However, the salarians and the turians had different military attitudes, the turians only appreciating an approach of 'massive retaliation'. Once the Genophage was complete, the turians immediately used it, and krogan numbers dwindled rapidly. Any female krogan who could carry young to term became a prize of war who was viciously fought over. Taking advantage, a female warlord named Shiagur used her fertility as a bargaining chip to attract the strongest males to her army."

"You know about her?" Wrex asked

I nodded. "I am an open book, Wrex. I've heard of many krogan females who commit suicide or severely damage themselves because they can't handle the helpless feeling of stillbirths. It's such a humiliating feeling. Women are beautiful creatures filled with life who give life. When we can't, we feel useless. It isn't our sole purpose, repopulating the universe, but it's one of them. I could keep going."

Wrex put his hands up. "No, Shepard."

"It was wrong of me to compare humanity's fate at the hands of the turians to that of the krogans. I apologize for that, Wrex, I do." I bowed my head. "But not every human is insensitive about your situation."

"I am learning that. As for the krogan, I gave up on them long ago." Wrex sighed. "The Genophage infects us, but it's not what's killing us."

"How bad is it?" I asked sincerely.

"We're too spread out. None of us are interested in staying in our own system."

I shrugged. "Lots of species have left their systems and prospered."

"But they colonize new worlds," he pointed out. "We're not settlers. We are warriors. We want to fight. So we leave. Hire ourselves out, and most of us never go back."

"Thanks for talking to me, Wrex."

"Shepard."

I turned, shuffling toward Garrus. I told myself that Ashley and I would talk over lunch on the Citadel. Garrus was inputting diagnostic results on Mako's terminal. As I inched closer, the turian noticed, facing in my direction.

"Commander, good job out there!"

"Is that a sincere comment or a bitter one?"

His mandibles fluttered. "Both, but more the first than the second. I just wanted to say: I knew working with a Spectre would be better than life at C-Sec."

"Have you worked with a Spectre before?" I wondered.

"Well, no," he confessed. "But I know what they're like. Spectre's make their own rules. You're free to handle things your way. At C-Sec, you're burned by rules. The damn bureaucrats are always on your back."

"Well, for the most part, the rules are there for a reason, Garrus."

He shrugged. "Maybe. But sometimes, it feels like the rules are only there to stop me from doing my work. If I am trying to take down a suspect, it shouldn't matter how I do it, as long as I do it."

"Well, that could be a problem, Officer. If I am with a friend that kills someone, I stumble upon it, that friend runs one way, and I run another; are you going to shoot me? Injure me? Kill me? The rules are there for a reason. You start shooting innocence, and that leaves a lot of blood on your hands, Garrus," I reiterated.

"Sounds like you are speaking from experience, Commander."

I turned and leaned up against Mako, crossing my arms. "I am. I've never worked security. I can't relate too much, but I do know what it is like to think you know someone, aware of their situation and their contribution to that situation, yet be so totally far off base. I've seen firsthand what those types of mistakes can do. Just keep in mind sometimes, things are the way they are to protect not only civilians but you as an officer or soldier, as well."

"You bring up a good point, Commander. It's just that C-Sec wants it done their way, sometimes more often than not, the suspect ends up getting away because of protocol, and protocol and procedure come first. That's why I left."

I shrugged. "So you just quit because you didn't like the way they do things?"

"It didn't start out bad, but as I rose in rank, I got saddled with more and more red tape. C-Sec's handling of Saren was typical. I just couldn't take it anymore. I hate leaving..."

"Well, I hope you made the right decision. I'd hate for you to regret it later."

"Well, that's sort of why I joined up with you." He looked to the side, then back to me.

"Oh?"

"It's a chance for me to get off the Citadel, see how things are done outside C-Sec. Either way, I plan to make the most of this," he guaranteed. "Without C-Sec headquarters' looking over my shoulder, well, maybe I can get the job done my way for a change."

"As long as you do your job well and follow my orders, you are free to go about everything else as you see fit," I said honestly.

"Thank you, Commander." His mandibles twitched again. "I better get back to calibrating the cannon. We'll talk later?"

"That'd be great."

I glanced at my wristwatch, noting that I still needed to check on Liara. I'd have enough time for a visit before dinner time. I boarded the elevator, arriving at the level above, sauntering toward Med-bay. Kaidan was standing close to the doorway, conversing with another group of his techs. I entered Liara's space, the woman immediately standing to greet whoever waltzed in.

"Commander, are you coming to check up on me?"

"You look better. How are you feeling?"

"Doctor Chakwas assures me I am going to be okay. I was impressed with her knowledge of asari physiology."

"You're in good hands. Doctor Chakwas knows what she's doing."

"I never properly thanked you for saving me from the geth, Commander. If you hadn't shown up..." she drifted off.

"I am just glad we got there on time," I put my left hand on her left forearm.

"So am I." She smiled. "I know you took a chance bringing me aboard this ship, and I see the way the crew looks at me. They do not trust me," she stated. "But I am not like Benezia. I will do whatever I can to stop Saren. I promise."

I shook my head. "Don't worry, Liara. I trust you. I know you won't let me down."

"It means a lot to hear you say that, Commander. Thank you."

"Well, it's dinner time. I better get out there before everyone kills each other. I will have our chef bring you a tray. Get some rest, Liara."

Chakwas was sitting with Kaidan and conversing when I exited Med-bay. Others were also seated with their dinners. However, practically everyone on that level was waiting in line for their meal. I noticed Tali waving at me and approached to join the young quarian.

"Your ship's amazing, Shepard. I've never seen a drive core like this before. I can't believe you were able to fit it into a ship this small," she sounded ecstatic. It was rather adorable. "I'm starting to understand why you humans have been so successful. I had no idea Alliance vessels were so advanced!"

As I finished getting my food, she and I sat down at the end of a table and resumed our conversation as we ate our dinner.

I started. "The Normandy's a prototype. Cutting edge technology."

"A month ago, I was patching a makeshift fuel line into a converted tug ship in the flotilla. Now. I'm sitting onboard one of the most advanced vessels in Citadel space. I have to thank you again for bringing me along. Traveling on a ship like this is a dream come true for me."

Tali was a sweetheart, and I loved her enthusiasm. "I had no idea you found ship technology interesting. Comes with being a quarian, I guess."

"It does. The Migrant Fleet is the key to the survival of my people. Ships are our most valuable resource. But we don't have anything like this. We make do with cast-offs and second-hand equipment. We just try to keep them running for as long as we can. Some of the fleet's larger vessels date all the way back to our original flight from the geth."

My jaw nearly dropped. "I can't believe your fleet's still using ships that are three centuries old."

"They're constantly being repaired, modified, and refitted. Our ships aren't pretty, but they work. Mostly. We tried to make ourselves as independent as possible on the flotilla. Grow our own food, mine and process our own fuel. But some things we just can't make our own. A patch to maintain the hull integrity requires raw materials we just don't have. That's why our pilgrimages are so important. Our lives aren't easy. Resources are scarce, and we are constantly on the move. Everything we do must in some way contribute to the continuation of the Migrant Fleet."

Tali and I conversed about quarians and their Pilgrimage for the next fifteen minutes. She inquired about my knowledge. I explained that I came across a quarian on his Pilgrimage many years ago. However, I quickly diverted the conversation after that. It concerned a man from my past, one I kept quiet about for my own protection. Suddenly, shouting was heard, causing me to shift my gaze. Four men were arguing loudly over something. I got up and followed Kaidan.

"You can't do that, sir!"

"Shut your damn mouth, Dubnikov!"

"What's going on here?" I inquired.

Before Ensign Dubnikov could open his mouth, Ensign Kansinakis mumbled, "Keep your mouth shut."

"Your Commander asked you a question." They were quiet. "Speak! That's an order!" Kaidan's shouting scared Dubnikov into submission.

"I overheard Ensign Kansinakis telling Corporal Pillai and Chavan that plans were set to-" he stopped, almost afraid of saying more.

"Ensign," Kaidan said with a firm tone.

He sighed, then responded, "He's planning to rape the Consort."

Ensign Kansinakis went to punch him, but Kaidan intercepted with his own face. I grabbed the Kansinakis' arm and put it behind him, pushing him to the wall.

"You never throw a punch on this ship unless you intend on throwing it at me," I yelled, "because I will be the one who retaliates, and you don't want that. Sergeant Vakarian!"

"Yes, Commander." He approached.

"Take Ensign Kansinakis to the brig," I ordered.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Wrex, I know Garrus can handle himself, but go with him just in case." I nodded toward the lift.

Wrex agreed. I turned back to everyone else, who was a little put off by what happened. Chakwas grabbed Kaidan. "We'll be in Med-bay."

I peered at the other men. "You two, get back to work. Ensign Dubinkov" I turned to the young man, "quarters."

Everyone resumed their conversations and consumption. I sat and finished my talk with Tali as I ate the rest of my meal. Afterward, I got up to discard my items when I noticed Garrus' tray; it was practically untouched.

"Robert, can you put this in a container so I can take it down to Garrus, please?"

"Of course, Commander."

"Also, can you take a tray to Liara, please?"

He grinned. "I can."

"Thank you. I'll be back in a second; I am going to check up on the Lieutenant."

The chef bobbed his head. I walked over to the med-bay. When I went in, Kaidan was sitting at the table, and Chakwas was checking his eye.

"It might get a bit puffy, but you'll be alright, Lieutenant. We're all done here."

I pulled a sucker out of my pocket. "Would you like a lollipop for being such a good patient?"

"How the hell did you get that?" Kaidan looked at it.

"The Commander has oral fixation," Chakwas replied.

"That explains the gum and sucker wrappers filling your receptacle." He smiled.

"They help."

"Is it sour apple-flavored?" Kaidan wondered.

I scoffed. "Is it—? Who do you think you're talking to?" I teased, handing it to him. I examined his eye, which was already starting to close up. "Are you gonna be able to do your job? I wouldn't want you to get hit with your own Stasis."

"You keep picking on me, Commander, and I'll test it out."

"Oh!" My eyes widened. "Someone is pumped full of adrenaline and feeling feisty."

Chakwas and Liara, who had joined during the sucker fiasco, were laughing.

"You know how it goes." Kaidan unwrapped his sucker.

"I've got ways you could get that out of your system. There's an 800-pound krogan below us who would love to let loose. If you're nice, Wrex just might let you use biotics to help."

"Now, who's being feisty?" Kaidan crossed his arms.

Robert approached with Garrus' meal in hand as the Lieutenant and I exited Med-bay. I thanked him, then padded to the elevator. I studied the turian's meal on my way down, Pacal* with rikorn* on the side. When I arrived, everyone was gliding through their station's closing checklist. I strolled over to my turian comrade, handing him his dinner.

"Take this before I eat it."

He looked at me, somewhat surprised. "Levo's can't have dextro food."

"Yes and no." I leaned against the wall near him. "Human bodies have nine amino acids referred to as 'essential', because the body is incapable of making them independently. All other amino acids necessary for life are created in the body. Assuming dextro metabolisms operate the same way, and they do, all a dextro would need to live off levo food is dietary supplements containing their species' essential amino acids and vice versa. The human body predominantly uses levo amino acids, but it also synthesizes and uses its own dextro amino acids for certain functions. Now, I'm not necessarily saying to eat our food or that I should eat yours. Most human bodies have a reaction similar to lactose intolerance. I don't have that issue, but I break out in a small rash on my forearms. Totally worth it, depending on the dish."

"Huh," he puzzled. "Well, I guess I will just have to keep a closer eye on my plate. Thank you, Commander."

"You're welcome. I figured it was the least I could do; I did pull you away from your dinner before you finished. So?" I motioned to Ensign Kansinakis.

"Hasn't said much."

I walked over to the brig, stepping in, Garrus behind me. I spoke, "Talk to me."

"Ensign Dubnikov blew things out of proportion."

I shrugged. "What did you say?"

"It's not any of your business," he snapped. "It was a private conversation."

"It happened on my ship. That makes it my business. In addition, the conversation wasn't private. You were yelling at each other in a crowded cafeteria. Not to mention, you struck a commanding officer."

Ross huffed. "Just because you are the Commander of this ship doesn't mean you shouldn't know your place. Anderson was forced to give you command. That doesn't make you my leader."

"You're the one in a cell, Ensign."

Instinct kicked in when Ensign Kansinakis charged at me, fists balled. I abruptly headbutted him, his head flying back with a pain-riddled moan. I cautiously approached the surface he was leaning against.

"I was ten years old when a man, two times the size of me, slapped me around. It only happened once. The next time that man raised his hands against me, I not only put him in his place, but I also took away his ability to do it again. Catch my drift? I will be submitting a Deferred Charge to JAG. You're looking at an Article 90, Ross, at the very least."

Garrus and I left the room, the door locking behind us.

"Not so sure he thinks it was worth it now," Garrus muttered.

"We'll see." My neck twitched when I inhaled. My exhale was slow as my eyes met Garrus'. "You know why my record is so highly classified, and what isn't classified is cryptic?" Garrus gently shrugged, causing me to continue, "Because people press me for selfish reasons, their own agenda. My past connects to shady people, and others would use that to their advantage. If such evidence existed and it was stacked against me, it would be their duty. However, those ties were cut many years ago, and there is evidence to support that."

"Why are you telling me this?" his tone was genuine. My eyes gazed into his, causing him to nod seconds later. "You consider me a friend."

"What I choose to tell you or not tell you is merely an indication of how close or distant I consider you. One day, I hope to tell you everything. So, yes. I do consider you my friend."

"Is this why you talk to me instead of Ashley or Kaidan?" I glanced over to Ashley, intently working at her station. I turned back to Garrus, his head once again bobbing up and down. "She asks, I don't."

"Yes. But it's more than that. The people from my past are criminal types. The chief is military through and through."

"I don't think it will go the way you anticipate. She might surprise you."

"She might," I agreed. "I'm just not ready to take that gamble."

I smiled at him. It wasn't something I did often, but Garrus managed to coax it out quite a bit lately. His mandible twitched, mouth opening to say something, but closed. His mandibles fluttered once more.

"I understand."

I turned, heading for the crew quarters a floor above. Kaidan was inside with Ensign Dubnikov.

"Boris," I greeted. "You all right?"

"Yes, ma'am," he responded.

"Account the events to me, Ensign."

He slowly nodded. "I was going through the line. Ensign Kansinakis, Corporal Pallai, and Corporal Chavas discussed Kansinakis going to the Consorts during our last R&R. He knew Anderson was bringing them six months ago and made an appointment with her then. He stated that she didn't like his advances and kicked him out, making a public scene. I have no evidence, ma'am, but given his next comments about forcing her to see him and teaching her a lesson by taking sex without paying for it, it makes me think he was the one disrespectful to her. I'm not exactly good with women." He nervously rolled his hands, one in the other. "But my mother raised me better than that. I tried to get him behind closed doors, but he started to get angry. You heard the rest." He sighed, peering up at me. "I want to apologize for behaving the way I did. I shouldn't have made the argument public."

I put my hand up. "Thank you for your apology, Ensign. I will be submitting paperwork to JAG, and Ensign Kansinakis is receiving an Article 90. I need for you to type up what you just told me and have it to me by the end of your shift."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Normally, I would submit an Article 15 to your file. However, your outburst might have just saved the Consort or some other woman none the wiser. But the disrespect you showed to a superior officer cannot go without discipline, Ensign. You understand that?"

"I understand, ma'am."

"Okay. I will talk with the ship's janitorial staff and see if they can find some work for you. You'll have to work off your demerits when you aren't taking care of your other duties."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Go back to your station." I motioned toward the door with my head.

The private left the dorm after saluting, and Kaidan came up beside me.

"I don't think he realizes that you just saved his career."

"The private didn't do anything wrong other than yell. He didn't even provoke Kansinakis, not really. Not to mention, Dudinkov has a promising record. I'd like to see what happens from here."

"Still nice of you, Commander."

I thanked Kaidan, then made my way back to my room, going through my nightly routine, then got in bed. I laid there a little while before falling asleep.

The sound of my door opening, and someone abruptly entering my cabin, caused me to jolt awake.

"Commander." Karen entered my room. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I need you in Med-bay."

"All right."

After getting dressed in my uniform, I quickly scurried toward Med-bay. The main body crew was already inside; what was more alarming was the sight of Boris on a bio-bed. The private's face looked like ground-up hamburger meat, his hands were bruised and bloody, and his pajamas had a few tears.

"What happened?"

"I believe that Ross was let out of his cell and attacked the Private," Karen replied.

"How is he?"

"He's stable," Karen said. "He'll be fine."

I peered over at Wrex, who I had put in charge of security. "How did Ross get out of his cell?"

"We don't know, Commander," Kaidan answered.

"Are Corporal Pallai and Chavas responsible?" I inquired.

"I don't know," Garrus responded.

Before exiting Med-bay, I signaled for Wrex to follow. Ashley, Garrus, Tali, and Liara filed into the elevator after Wrex and me. Eerie silence blanketed the Cargo Hold. Ashley attempted to exit, but I intervened, my arm across her torso. I cautiously stepped off. Ross clobbered me with something dense, causing me to stagger back. I snatched the item off the ground, hurling it in his direction. The Ensign was unable to escape as a consequence. I lunged before he could stand up, my arms latching around his waist, feet perching on one of the pillars to hold him down.

I shifted my weight, turning me into a human backpack. Ross clumsily stood, spinning around, smashing me against the post I'd used mere seconds ago. The drastic action caused me to let go, falling. Ross swung, but I dodged, rising to my feet. I deflected, using that momentum to lurch, elbowing him in the face. I struck him with the other fist, pivoting to boot him. The second kick was more powerful, thanks to another pillar. However, Ross immediately recovered.

Ross unholstered a pistol, aiming it in my direction. I kicked him in the knee, knocking him to the ground, where I planted one foot on the other side, and flipped him back with the assistance of his belt. Ross was able to rest on his undamaged knee and take aim, but I read it and maneuvered; Cargo's flooring damaged in the process. I rolled, my legs wrapping around his neck. Ross was pinned down, where I effortlessly yanked the firearm from his grip, hitting him in the stomach. Before shoving him away, I folded back, dislocating his arm. I struck him with the handgun, causing his head to swing around and collide with another pillar, putting him out cold.

I tossed the weapon down, panting. "Put this asshole back in the brig and put two people on him at all times till we get back to the Citadel. They have my authorization to use any means necessary to keep his ass in there."

"You got it, Commander."

"I want Corporal Pillai and Chavas in my quarters, now," I barked.

Garrus and one of his men returned Ross to the brig while I padded past everyone else toward the elevator. The two Corporals, escorted by Ashley and Kaidan, entered my cabin shortly after I arrived. I was standing with my arms clasped in front of me. Despite the rush of adrenaline coursing through my veins, I maintained my composure.

"Did you let Kansinakis out of his cell?"

They glanced at each other, then at me. Almost as if Pillai and Chavan cemented each other's silence.

"Your commander asked you a question," Ashley sneered.

"Ensign Kansinakis didn't do anything wrong. The Consort promised something special, but she spouted lies. I think Kansinakis has a right to do whatever he needs to do to teach aliens their place. They can't mess with us just because they think they're smarter." Corporal Chavas glanced over his shoulder to Ashley. "You should understand that. You've told us and others that you disapprove of aliens being on the ship."

Ashley glared. "If that's what you heard, you might want to get your hearing checked."

"Lieutenant Alenko, I want both Corporal Pillai and Chavas placed under arrest. I will be submitting paperwork to JAG for them as well."

"Yes, ma'am."

Kaidan and Ashley left with the Corporals in hand. I walked over to comms and pressed a few buttons.

Pressly answered, "Yes, Commander."

"Meet me in my quarters, earliest convenience, please."

"On my way."

While I waited for him, I notified Anderson of the situation. I sent it as Pressly entered.

"I apologize for taking so long. Karen was catching me up."

"It's all right, Charles. I updated Captain Anderson on the situation, though I imagine he won't see anything till he wakes up in the morning. When he does, get with him on finding a new Ensign with superior technical qualifications as well as two promising Corporal's for Sergeant Vakarian and First Lieutenant Thompson's team."

He stepped forward. "I worked with a specialist on the Hastings. He's about to leave to be reassigned. He's a great man, Shepard. I think he would work well with Vakarian and Thompson. It will be a coup if you ask for my professional opinion."

"Do you trust him?"

"A hundred percent, Shepard. He's not as… wary of other species like I am."

"Go through the proper channels, Pressly. Let me know what comes of it."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Get some rest."

"Commander."

Pressly retreated from my cabin. I collected my clothing and toiletries, wandering to the lady's bathroom. In the shower, I was contemplating everything that had happened. My right hand was on the wall, supporting most of my weight, and my head was down, allowing the water to relax my neck muscles. I massaged them with my left hand, trying to focus on something other than what had just occurred, but all that came to mind was how I had no knowledge of stopping Saren and his geth. They were persistent and skilled at covering their tracks, but I had to convince myself that I was stronger and more intelligent. I could out-plan and out-organize them. But after Eden Prime, Jenkins, and Nihlus…

Jenkins.

I lightly punched the tile wall with my fist.

Nihlus.

I punched it again, a little harder.

Jenkins.

"Ripped right through his shields." Kaidan said as he closed Jenkins' eyes. "He never had a chance." I punched the wall harder.

Nihlus.

"Look, Commander," Kaidan pointed to the turians lifeless body. "It's Nihlus."

This time when I punched the wall, my biotics helped, leaving a hole.

"Commander?" Tali walked in with Liara behind her.

"We heard about the fight. Are you all right?" Liara asked me, glancing from the hole to me.

"I'm fine."

I abruptly wrapped my towel around me, seizing my belongings. I hurried out of the bathroom, leaving water puddles in the wake of my footsteps. The captain's cabin door shut behind me, my frame leaning against it after tossing toiletries and clothing to the nearby table. Trembling hands covered my face as I deeply inhaled. The calming silence was short-lived. Garrus knocked on my door, causing it to slide open. The sudden movement didn't leave me enough time to compensate; my body collapsed.

"Oof!"

I looked up and saw him standing there. I wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or was concerned.

"Commander?"

"Yes, Sergeant?" I responded firmly, trying to regain control.

Garrus knelt beside me and drew my towel across my chest. I stood up with his assistance, holding onto the towel, glancing over my shoulder to ensure no one was there. Garrus' gaze followed mine before returning to me.

"It's just me, Commander. Everyone else is heading to bed."

"I'm sorry, Garrus."

"Are you all right?" the turian wondered.

"Yes," I turned to him with my tongue on my top lip then exhaled. "Just upset."

"That results in a hole in the wall?"

"I'm upset at what just happened. I'm angry at Ross for being an asshole and bubbling up memories I suppressed for a long time. I'm angry when I think about Jenkins, Nihlus, and everyone else who died on Eden Prime." I huffed.

Garrus stepped forward into my cabin. "I read the reports. Want to tell me about it?"

I took a deep breath. "It started off as a routine mission. Nihlus had a different drop point than my team. Once we had boots on the ground, we proceeded. It was quiet, almost too quiet. Kaidan, Jenkins, and I approached a field. I stopped them and looked around. When I didn't see anything, I sent Jenkins to another area of cover, but a geth turret came out and took him out in a matter of seconds. I wasn't fast enough."

"What next?" Garrus asked in a calm voice.

"A few kilometers ahead, we found the chief running for her life away from geth. We saved her, but again I was too late; I couldn't save anyone from her squad. They all perished, along with the colonists. We proceeded a few more klicks south and reached the dig site, but the beacon was already gone. At that point, Nihlus contacted me with an update. Told me he was going ahead to the spaceport, so I proceeded to the area. Came across a few survivors, but after that, we stumbled upon Nihlus' dead body. Saren had already killed him."

"I assume this is where you went after the beacon?" Garrus questioned.

I nodded. "After saving a dock worker, we proceeded to a tram that would take us to the spaceport where Saren had moved the beacon. When we finally made it, geth were setting up bombs all over the area, probably getting rid of the evidence, only to lie to the Council about it later. We managed to stop the bombs from exploding, but not after Kaidan took a painful hit to the upper arm. We went down a ramp on the other side of the port, finding the beacon, but Saren was already gone. I stepped back from it to call Joker, Ashley next to me. Once I radioed in, she and I started talking. When I looked over her shoulder for Kaidan, he was getting pulled, by an invisible force, toward the beacon. I wasn't sure what it was doing, so I grabbed and threw him out of the way. It lifted me into the air; the force was so strong, it took my breath away. I don't remember the explosion."

"What exactly did the Beacon show you?"

I closed my eyes and ran it through my mind again. "It flashes between images. Pieces of machine, technology... I see protheans getting slaughtered, the color red is everywhere, people gutted, their very essence stolen, changed. I hear screaming and yelling, crying. I feel fear, pain. So many innocent people were murdered."

When I opened my eyes, Garrus' head was down. "I can't imagine what you've gone through, Commander."

"It's off-duty hours, Garrus. We've been together for a little over a month, hung out together, spent a lot of off-duty time together." I grabbed my things and walked away further into my dimly lit room. "Shepard."

Garrus exhaled. "You know I'm not used to this."

"Garrus, if you're upset about it, stick with Commander."

"No, I'm sorry," he waved his hand at me. "We have to live together until we take Saren down; I see that taking a while. Hearing Commander makes you feel isolated as the highest-ranking officer on board."

"I would rather have friends on this mission to death than to have people fear me."

"I can understand that." The turian nodded.

"Something you needed, Garrus?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Just came up to check on you. Tali told me about the wall. Wanted to make sure you were okay."

I appeared out of the dark, dressed in a black N7 tank top and a pair of short shorts.

"I'm fine. Thanks for coming up and checking on me. You are a good friend."

The turian gaped at me for a few seconds. "You're welcome, Shepard. I will leave you alone so you can get some rest."

Garrus walked toward the door, then turned to me. It looked like he wanted to say something to me, but he didn't. My door closed, and I went to my bed, falling on it with a big sigh.