I stay home sick today. *cough cough*

No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Six

Edward's in the bed next to me, laying on his back, one arm bent above his head, the other resting on his stomach. I can see his armpit hair, and if nothing about last night went as planned, that armpit hair kind of makes up for it.

Good Lord.

I was drunk, sure.

Completely wasted where I remember nothing, not so much. It was just a little wine after all.

I definitely remember the apadravya. I'll likely never forget it in my entire life. Gosh, I wanted to lick all over it.

All over it.

I want to stare at sleeping Edward all day, but I can taste my death breath and absolutely do not want him to smell it. That would be humiliating. He'd probably not let me anywhere near his dick today.

And I do plan to be near it. Last night was just a preview for today's main course. Wine is not on the menu. No wine. None at all. I will murder anyone who dares to slip me a glass.

Slipping gently from the bed, not wanting to wake Edward, I tiptoe across the carpet and into the bathroom before tiptoeing back to the edge of the bed and grabbing my phone. I have no idea how it got there, and I don't really care.

After shutting myself in the bathroom, I lean against the counter and deep breathe so not to throw up all over the basin. I grab some medicine from the cabinet, cup some water in my hand and swallow the pills. When I've gotten it together, I pull up the thread with Jess and Lauren, sending a good morning text before scrolling through messages I sent last…

I knew I wasn't that drunk. If I was completely toast, I would have no recollection of asking Edward to send my messages for me. And I would not be standing in the bathroom this morning, cringing at the thought of Edward typing out how much I want to suck him and fuck him.

He probably thinks I'm nuts. Although it's been no secret how obsessed I've been with seeing his dick. No one wants to just see one. It's all about the touching, the licking, the fucking.

Definitely the fucking.

I think Jess may have taken over my brain today.

Well? Lauren responds.

I read the message, but I can't stop staring at myself in the mirror. My face and hair are horrifying, but Edward's shirt hanging from my body?

Hot.

Lifting the collar, I sniff it and then squeeze my legs together. He really is a delicacy.

Grabbing my toothbrush, I squeeze more than enough toothpaste on it and scrub my teeth and tongue clean, wanting all traces of wine gone.

Yeah, well? How big was it? Did he hit that dangly thing in the back of your throat? Jess says.

Giggling quietly, I type out a reply, giving them all I've got. I only got a peek of it. No sucking or fucking.

WHAT! That's Jess.

NO! And that's Lauren. She's surprising me, that one.

If I'm remembering correctly, I was too drunk. Edward didn't tat me or let me touch him. I saw it, though…

Tell me you took a picture, Jess says.

Snorting a laugh, I scroll through my photos just in case, and unfortunately there is no picture. That's just too bad.

Sorry, no picture. Maybe today.

You suck so fucking bad. Not even literally, Jess responds.

The bathroom door opens, and I lift my eyes from my phone, smiling at sleepy-eyed Edward standing in the doorway.

Talk later, I send before setting my phone down.

"Morning," he says, sounding sleepy and looking like the hottest man I've ever seen in my life. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," I say, drooling a bit as I scan every inch of his naked skin. "I'm good." The trail of hair that leads beneath his jeans is making me squirm. I know what he looks like underneath those jeans, and I want to see it again. "I like your shirt. It's snuggly."

"Good," he says, grinning and then reaches out and grabs my hand, yanking me into his hot, naked chest. I'm staring up at his face with the sexy scruff, and I want to beg him to show me his dick again. His fingers are playing at the bottom of his shirt, lifting it slowly, and I can't breathe. "I didn't get to ink you, Bells. You got your peek."

I slowly nod my head, trying not to smile, but it's not working because I'm actually smiling huge. "The wine - I guess it was a wee…" I hold my thumb and finger up a bit. "...too much."

He chuckles and shakes his head, his hands lifting the shirt higher. "We got plans today?"

"Something about brunch at the club," I say, feeling the cold air wafting across my ass. "I forget."

"I don't care if we have to hide in the panicles. You owe me a tat." The shirt moves higher, right under my boobs, and I want to scream for him to just rip it off and do bad things to my body.

I snort a laugh and shake my head. "Say it again - panicles."

"Panicles," he says through a smile, and I giggle like a blushing idiot.

"You're so cute…"

My shirt is gone in a whoosh, and good Lord he's pulling it over his head and covering that magnificent body. "Hey, I'm cold," I say, pushing my hair out of my face. "I like you without a shirt."

"What else do you like?" His eyes scan my body, making me shiver.

"I like a lot of things. A lot."

He smiles and kisses my forehead. "You done in here? Mind if I grab a shower?"

The image of him naked and wet in my shower is going to be burned in my brain forever.

"I really want to grab a shower with you," I say because, well, truthfully, I do.

"You can grab a shower with me," he says. "You can wash my back, and I'll wash yours." He's grinning like a sexy fool.

"You're really making my nipples hard," I blurt out.

Then we both start laughing, me uncontrollably to cover up my embarrassment.

"Bella, a word please!" My mom says through the door.

Widening my eyes at Edward, I cover my mouth, snorting into my palm. Great, not only does she not like Edward - for no reason at all, I might add - now she's really not going to like him, knowing I'm in the bathroom with him. Nevermind the fact that I'm a grown woman and can do what I want.

"I don't have any clothes on," I whisper to Edward, and he chuckles. "She doesn't like leather. She really doesn't like lace."

He pulls his shirt back over his head and slips it back over mine. "That better?"

"Probably not," I say.

"I figured not," he says. "But I like it."

"Me too. You shower. I'll go see how much trouble I'm in. Then I'll shower. We'll do brunch, then we'll do what we want…"

"Can't wait, Bells."

I blow him a kiss before slipping out of the door. My mom is tapping her foot on the carpet, her arms crossed, and it makes me want to burst out laughing. I don't, but I really want to.

"You blatantly disregarded the house rules."

The shower turns on, and I feel a shudder run through my body. Is that his zipper? It is, isn't it? The curtain pulls back, and I'm going to combust right in front of my mother.

"I'm sorry," I say, swallowing thickly, wanting to be in that shower more than anything in the world. "It won't happen again."

But won't it?

My mom sighs and uncrosses her arms. "Put some clothes on and join your father and me for coffee."

"Sure."

She doesn't leave, though, so instead of showing her my lace, I pull on a pair of shorts and follow her down the stairs like a sullen toddler in trouble, but with thoughts in my mind a toddler would never.

…

Edward drinks my glass of wine for me.

We're at brunch at the club, and the wine is set in front of me without me asking for it. Edward looks from it to me and then back to it before grabbing the glass and draining it.

I snort so loud, my mom gives me the glare of death.

He wraps a hand around my thigh and pulls me closer. "Ask for water, Bells," he says. "Wine means no tat, and no tat means…"

"Water," I yell, holding up my arm.

Edward chuckles, loudly, and whispers in my ear. "Your ma's pissed."

"She'll get over it," I say then lean closer. "She doesn't like my outfit again, today." It's not even leather. I found it in Seattle many moons ago. The skirt goes to my shins but there's a slit that goes up my thigh. Okay, so my black shirt is only half of one and my heels are not club attire, but this is me, and it's the only me I'll ever be. "I've always been a rebel."

"I like it," he says, slipping his hand higher, up the slit but not in the slit, if you know what I mean.

My look goes with his look. He looks bad boy to my sexy business woman, and I am a business woman. I do own a business. So I can wear these types of clothes. Nobody cares but my mom anyway.

Plus, my boyfriend likes it and that's all that matters.

"Thank you. After this we'll leave. Dad says everyone's going to play a game of golf, but no. Not happening. I didn't dress for that. We'll have the house to ourselves." I wiggle my eyebrows, trying to look sexy, but I just know it comes off creepy.

"And then what?" He asks, smirking sexily.

"We shall see, won't we…"

"Isabella, hello."

I will stab my mother with a rusty spoon right in her throat.

Turning my head, I come face to face with my ex-boyfriend, Benjamin. My eyes shoot to my mom, and she smiles and tips her chin, like she thinks I'm going to let this preppy scumbag near me.

"Ben, this is a surprise," I say, pressing closer to Edward.

Benjamin smiles, his eyes glancing at Edward next to me, his smile widening for some reason. I can't fathom why. Edward's a ten, and he's a zero. No competition.

"Benjamin, honey, take a seat," my mom calls, and he pulls out a chair across from me - directly across from me, and I'm no longer hungry. "I've put in your order."

"Thanks, sweetheart," he tells her, and I throw up a little in my mouth.

Ignoring Benjamin, I turn into Edward and whisper into his ear. "If we wouldn't get arrested, I'd suck it right here."

"It'd probably just be a night," Edward says into my ear, making me giggle uncontrollably, his hand giving my thigh a gentle squeeze. "Worth it."

"Should I shimmy under the table?"

"So, Isabella, how are you?" Benjamin asks, rudely interrupting mine and Edward's very private conversation.

Turning my head, but staying close to Edward, I address the loser. "Ben, meet Edward. My boyfriend."

Benjamin smiles, and it's despicable. I can't believe I ever let those crusty lips kiss me. They're nothing like Edward's pretty pout. "Boyfriend, huh?" Benjamin asks, not even bothering to look at Edward, the prick!

"Boyfriend. Lover. Whatever," I say.

"Boyfriend and lover," Edward says, kissing the side of my head. I melt into his warm body.

Benjamin just keeps on grinning like he knows something I don't. What does he think - that my mom can invite him here and I'd just jump in his lap and beg him to take me away from here. What a delusional creep.

"He's creeping me out," I whisper to Edward. "I can't believe I ever dated him."

Edward chuckles, and I kiss his cheek just as the waitress sets our food in front of us. We ordered the double cheeseburgers rather than the roasted salmon because really roasted salmon? No thank you.

I take my first bite, groaning softly before looking up at Edward. After swallowing, I say, "Try it. It's amazing. Salmon what?"

He laughs and digs in. My phone beeps halfway through, and I pull it from my purse.

Jess and Lauren are like two dogs with a bone. They have zero patience at this point. I'm kind of with them on that, but I'm liking the tension. The whispers in my ear. The hand on my thigh. The cute as hell smiles he throws my way.

It's not all about dick, Jess, I send.

Now she listens, Lauren responds.

Bitches, please, Jess says.

We're at brunch, I tell them. My mom invited Ben.

That cunt, Jess sends, and I just know she's fuming. She hates Ben more than I do, and I hate him.

Who's Ben? Lauren asks. We don't ever speak of Benjamin, so Lauren has no idea.

Just as I'm about to respond, wine is set down in front of me. "Your favorite," Benjamin says, and I want to throw my phone in his face.

"Thank you, but I'm not drinking today," I say with minimal patience.

"No? You always drink."

Edward reaches out for the glass and drinks it for me, making me giggle again. "I don't know if I want drunk Edward giving me a tat," I say, smiling at his gorgeous face.

He grins. "I won't get drunk."

"I can't wait another night."

"You won't wait another night."

"It's wearing off," I say, holding up my wrist to show him the fading black heart.

He grabs my wrist and brings it to his mouth, giving it a luscious kiss, and he so does good boyfriend. I want to keep him.

Everyone at the table is staring at us, and it would be really awkward if I cared what they thought.

The rest of brunch is a snoozefest. If it wasn't for Edward and his soft touches, sweet kisses and his Godly scent, I'd be miserable.

Someone snaps me out of my thoughts when they hit their glass with their silverware, making one of those obnoxious clinks - the sign of a toast. I've always found them frivolous and completely stupid.

My mom stands and says a few words about Rosalie and Emmett and how happy she is that they will be joined in holy matrimony within a few weeks which is much faster than I was expecting. That means I have to come do this all over again. I'll have to get Edward to continue this charade.

"...and Benjamin, I'm so happy you could join us." She looks around the room, her eyes landing on me scarily before she addresses the crowd again. "Benjamin has something he'd like to give to Bella now."

What?

Benjamin stands, and I straighten in my seat, ready to bolt. There's nothing I want from him. Ever.

He smiles his creepy smile, staring right through my soul, like he wants to bite into it and shred it to pieces. So gross.

"Isabella, love…"

Oh no.

"...I know it's been years."

No way.

Edward is shaking next to me, and I know he's laughing. I turn and stare at him, and he is laughing. His head is bent, and he's just in a fit of manly giggles. I shove him gently with my arm, and he turns his head and winks, his teeth blinding me. I so totally want to fuck him right now.

Leaning into him, I whisper, "Help me."

He turns his head, his lips brushing my own ear. "You got this, Bells."

He's right. I got this.

"Ben," I say, interrupting the speech I wasn't even listening to. "Whatever you're going to say, don't say it."

"Bella!" My mom shrieks, horrified.

"What?" I meet her eyes. "I don't want him. He can't just show up and do your bidding. I didn't want to marry him then and I don't want to marry him now." Then I meet Benjamin's eyes. "Why you would think I'd be okay with this is beyond me. I have a boyfriend." Fake. Real. Whatever. "He's sitting right next to me."

"You couldn't possibly…"

"Couldn't possibly what?" I cut him off. "Want to suck his dick more than yours? Oh I do. I really really do."

My mom gasps. Rosalie's eyes widen. Dad shakes his head like he doesn't know what to do with me, and Edward chokes on a laugh.

So be it.

"Now, if you'll excuse us. We have an appointment."

I grab Edward's arm and pull him up. Try to, anyway, but he's just so big and strong, he has to get up himself.

"Bella!"

"Mom, we'll talk later. Enjoy your round of golf. See you at dinner."

Edward tips his chin to the stunned table, and I bite my lip and grab my purse, hurrying the heck out of there.

"Wow, that was intense," I say once we're outside and heading to Edward's car.

Edward laughs much louder this time, grabbing my hand and holding it. "So fucking classy, Bells," he says through his laugh, but he says it like he means it. "Let's get you that tat."

Good Lord.