CHAPTER 15

After much nagging Bloberta finally had convinced Clay to get off his back by looking for houses with her, finally having a well enough savings to put down for a mortgage. It was all quite bothersome. Clay had grown quite content in his one bedroom, kitchen and living room connected unit. They had a few viewings of houses over a couple of days, they at this point could easily afford the beautiful homes they had viewed. Bloberta was growing a bit annoyed at Clay for being quite resistant to the houses they have viewed. Outside one of the houses they had viewed with a realtor Bloberta chimed in on her frustration.

"Clay, whats the hold up? All the houses we've seen are gorgeous! Why are you holding this family back?" Clay looked out to the sky rolling his eyes at her. Offended Bloberta fired at his lack of manners: "Don't YOU roll your eyes at me!" Clay's gaze came back to Bloberta offering an almost surprised expression with a bit of empathy. Admittedly he wasn't even rolling his eyes consciously he was just fed up with everything and everyone. Finally he responded.

"Ugh, sorry its just not what I am looking for..." Bloberta gritted her teeth at the sheer self-centeredness this man who was her husband displayed. She should have seen it the very first day they met.

"This isn't about what YOU are looking for! This is about having a home to start a family! Do you even care about this boy?" Bloberta pointed to her somewhat developed belly. Clay's eyes looked down to her belly and bit his lips at the inevitable. Clay sort of just stared deep in a trance, given a vision in his mind. A series of fast playing images of a boy with a similar face to Bloberta, with Clay's innocence as a child. As well as horrible events unfolding between the family. It ended as soon as it started. After his vision Clay snapped out of it and said with utmost conviction:

"This family is the single thing I truly care about. Don't doubt me." Bloberta although she doubted his claims, it wasn't like he had much else to care for besides himself of course. She supposed that being Clay's second most important was as an honor as it was a slap in the face.

"Well whats wrong with all the houses then? All we need is a couple bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and living room?" It wasn't like the houses had much variations in terms of layouts. Other districts did things somewhat different and sometimes offered things like 2 bathrooms or rec room but they never were too drastic or anything, it was Moralton after all.

"They...lack something...I'm not sure what." Clay answered looking to his mind for any real answer. He often dreamed of living in his childhood home alone, burying his father far from the premises, living in absolute peace.

"What more could a family home need?" With that question Clay found the answer.

"A Study!" Clay said with grit in his voice as he jumped with his finger in the air. A study was something Clay had coveted since he was young. A place he could be alone, close himself off from the world with all his favorite things, furniture, trophies adorning the room. This would be necessary in starting a family, and if he were to have a son it would be a place to properly display his power and command respect. Bloberta with a bit of skepticism said her concerns.

"Don't you think that's a bit out of our price range? We've only saved for 2 months."

"Bloberta, without a study the Father has no domain. Simply bringing your child aside to 'correct' their actions has no affect. A Father and Son need a place like a study to learn hard lessons."

"What exactly do you mean?" Bloberta unsure what Clay was really saying.

"Let me guess...Your father never let you into his study?" Bloberta froze. "What lessons did you ever learn from your father?" Bloberta looked down grabbing her arm.

"All he taught me was to...shut up." Clay despite being in a callous state was a little startled Bloberta even had given a true answer. He had expected 'nothing' to be the answer.

"B-Bloberta..." Clay stammered attempting to put a hand on her shoulder, she turned away from him.

"I don't want to be outside anymore. Lets get back." Bloberta tried to check herself out about the glaring question Clay asked her. It called into question so much about herself and upbringing she was initially aware of. She figured Clay was a bit aloof but somehow he managed to push the buttons, the sad buttons.

"Um sure.." Clay held himself back to ask further on the matter.

-

Back at the Alonefords Bloberta had been the less talkative one. She was the one to go to sleep early tonight. Clay felt both guilt, sadness, relief and happy at once. Ultimately though guilt and sadness overtake any and every positive emotion. For every wonderful moment you have with a person, one bad moment can taint every other moment. And although Clay was now alone sitting on his couch, usually loving his alone time, this time felt different. That last thing Bloberta said really hit a chord with Clay. Bloberta simply learned to 'shut up' from her father. To keep quiet and have no voice. Clay drank a hefty swig from his glass taking him back to adolescent years, a couple years after the incident. Clay and his father hardly talked. Anytime Clay tried to talk to him about anything he was sad about, or any thing he achieved. It was met with apathy and total disregard to his emotions. Like he didn't matter. Clay winced at how much he truly related to Bloberta. Why did she have to be his female double of all things? It was only reminding him more of his life. Clay did enjoy the silence, when Bloberta merely complied rather than argued, it made him feel guilty to feed into that lesson for her. That she should just shut up and take a back seat. He was in the unique position of a husband that had a woman that was naturally inclined to shut up trying to speak up to him. A quality husband's don't take lightly too when they come off as naggy. A voice he heard...

"Go and take your drink. What would your Mother think when you see the way she cries? The way she left you was your doing."

"The way you feigned death and smiled while she was in anguish, You smiled and embraced. She fell to your foolish attempt at attention. Some souls like yours merely exist to hurt and take from others."

Clay upon being angered by the voices turned on the late night news radio in hopes it would take his mind off the personal matters. He had tuned into middle of a talkshow.

-

"Mr. Christien, how does it feel to be back in town?"

"Oh it brings back a lot of memories, everything looks the same as it did 10 years ago."

"Hoho, great humor! We needed a Jewish man to bring that edgy humor back in town!"

"Oh- ahem...heh yeah that was a good joke wasn't it?"

"Don't toot your own horn. Tell me how did you get this gig back in town?"

"Uh to be fair, I got a request from Mr. Pupping-"

-

Clay turned off the radio and went to the bedroom. Observing Bloberta tossing and turning in her sleep.