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Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

As Kakashi heard "kuwaii!" being called out again, he suddenly remembered his sensei's constant struggle with Kushina-nee about keeping his little princess away from all boys. Yes, he could understand it now: she was way too cute and (hopefully) unknowingly manipulative to get what she wanted. After all, they were all sitting in water that had been poured on the stuffed animal's faces - even the Hokage! Was there anyone who could say no to this little girl?!

Tsunade and Shizune were gleeful, Jiraiya felt he'd been given another chance, the Sandaime thought the entire thing was entirely amusing, while the last Hatake was pissed!

Everything had been going great! Jiraiya-sama had made an ass out of himself enough times that Kakashi was positive that he'd be given full-custody of little Naru-hime at any moment. Then he'd made a mistake: a single well-intentioned mistake and it seemed all his efforts had been in vain. Moping through the main Senju estate, he nearly growled in jealousy at seeing the tiny blonde whispering to his oldest summon, Pakkun.

It had been very apparent that Naru-hime could understand language just fine. Her reactions had either been somewhat appropriate but extreme when she heard the adults around her speaking, or she would give them a deadpan expression that looked like she wasn't in any way impressed with whatever someone had just said. It was amusing, to say the least, but no one could get her to talk. Hell, the only reason any of them learned she could speak at all is when he heard her whispering to her invisible friend that she called "Niisan" - and wasn't that a kicker? He was her damned Nissan! Kakashi took a moment to calm himself - he was getting way too aggravated about all of this…

Pakkun wiggled his stupid eyebrows at him and this time Kakashi did growl. Naru looked over at him, but at least it wasn't in alarm - then she went back to whispering to his freaking ninken. He groaned and gently hit his head against the wall repeatedly. Why-oh-why was she only speaking - and then only whispering - to her stuffed animals and the summons that each member of this motley crew from the hell he was living with summoned to play with her? Even Lady-Katsuya's tiny and gross slug clone received the grace of the little princess' voice! He'd even seen a spider monkey getting a kiss from her! Stupid Saratobi summons.

Kakashi didn't realize he was pouting through his mask until Shizune walked past him, backed up, then grabbed his masked lips with her thumb and fingers. She shook him a bit by the lips, let out a cheerful giggle, then walked off. Dammit to hell! He was really getting tired of everyone thinking that he was still a child and calling him a brat: he was an adult, just like them! Geezers! He definitely was more grown-up and responsible than Jiraiya-sama, at the very least. His sensei's sensei used every break he had to peep on women in the hot springs, for which Tsunade-hime would beat him senseless, yet the man would just heal up and do it all over again!

And now they were all living together… temporarily. It's all just temporary, Hatake: suck it up!

He had such a good reason for what he did. He even tested his idea out on Genma, and that worked! If Genma could be coaxed to take his senbon out of his mouth with a piece of gum, then surely it would be even easier to get Naru-hime to stop sucking her thumb by offering her a piece. Genma slept with senbon in his mouth, for Kami's sake: Naru wasn't nearly as orally-fixated as the bandana-wearing man... Kakashi knew that the Sandaime was sure to make a decision on where Naru would live soon, so he thought it was a great idea to show the group his ingenuity and forward-thinking regarding Naru's thumbsucking… He had thought they would be so impressed! So he waited until everyone had once again gathered together to show off - and then Naru grabbed his entire pack of gum, wrappers and all, chewed them a couple of times, and proceeded to swallow the mess in one gulp.

Of course, all hell broke loose. Naruto-hime had to get those abdominal thrust things from a tearful Shizune-chan in order to breathe, while everyone else was screaming at either him or about the situation. The whole thing had freaked little Naru out - although she was looking for his gum again through his Jonin vest the next day - and then Tsunade made her demands, to which the Sandaime agreed. Now he was basically being babysat by a group of crackpots, "learning more about basic child care and rearing." He kicked a toad that was hopping down the hallway he was in, then instantly regretted it. No doubt Old Man Toad would tell on him.

Tsunade sat in the dining room, watching Sakumo's brat wallow in self-pity. He might not like the situation, but he needed to learn how to take care of the little princess before he had her on his own. Oh, she knew that time would come. After all, Jiraiya was a perverted idiot, plus he had to maintain the village's spy network. She didn't believe for a second that Sarutobi-sensei would allow Minato's brat, who looked so much like him, to leave the village. It would be too dangerous and sensei already felt like he had failed the little girl. Plus there was the fact that she was the jinchuuriki. If the gaki left the village before she was prepared to pretty much take care of herself, she might as well wear a sign on her back that said: "KIDNAP ME AGAIN!" She shook away that frightening thought, guzzling down another bottle of sake. She was glad that she was the responsible one, and could teach Kakashi-kun the importance of new important obligations. She belched loudly and reached for her next bottle. Tsunade knew that she couldn't stay in this Kami-damned village, even though it had been a little easier lately. Hiccuping, she would admit it: she loved that little blonde gaki. Damn that kid!

Shizune walked into the dining room and frowned at her drunken aunt/shisou. She had been trying for years to convince Tsunade-sama to not only take care of herself but to live up to her responsibilities, whether they were to her village, her esteemed family, or just to herself… not to mention me! Watching her shishou's head begin to bob, she knew this wasn't the time to discuss things with her. She was just glad to be back in the village - the one her brother, Dan, had so wanted to protect as the Hokage. She also felt that she had found a little baby sister in Naruto-hime.

Shizune lounged in a large recliner that was adjacent to the kitchen by the fireplace and pulled out an interesting pamphlet she had received from a boy just outside the village gates. She wasn't sure who this Jashin-sama was exactly, but she had to admit the boy she met had been charismatic, so much so that she agreed to look into Jashin's philosophy. As she continued to read, she thought it wasn't explained too well, but she'd continue to keep an open mind. The boy had told her, after all, to feel free to meet him just outside of the village if she had any questions. She could always meet him later if she wanted to know more about this Jashin fellow. The man almost seemed like some sort of god! She heard the main door open to the estate and instantly recognized the chakra of Jiraiya-sama.

Jiraiya was giddy. His second book had just left the publishers and he couldn't wait for sales to start rolling in! This time he had really done it: Icha-Icha Paradise was an absolute literary masterpiece if he did say so himself! He was so proud. He even brought two extra copies back! One was for his sensei, whom he always wanted to make proud. The other was for the Hatake brat who really needed it for various reasons: the gaki was single and seemed to completely lack the urge to mingle, after all. Plus, he hoped that it would serve as a peace offering, as they had been pretty much battling for the affections of his goddaughter. He could see that Sakumo & Minato's brat - not like that - loved the little one and was trying his best. The more people that would protect the little hime, the better, he'd finally decided - his years of wisdom winning out over the supposed silver-haired prodigy. He would reach out first, meaning I win!

Walking by the loser, he handed him his precious. "Here ya go, gaki! It's a present! Read and enjoy!" Junior Hatake better enjoy it - the kid's 17 after all. If he didn't enjoy it - thoroughly - he'd go out and get the brat a huge prescription bottle of erectile dysfunction pills! He got a discount on them, buying them en mass and all, so it wouldn't be a big deal.

Still in a foul mood, Kakashi grabbed the book he was tossed - the one he had been hearing the Sannin excitedly talk about ever since he came back to the village. He had no idea of what it was about but knew that his sensei's absolute favorite book was written by the old hermit. He had read that one years back and had liked it, too - just not as much as Sensei. The story had been pretty good, although a little far-fetched. Tales of a… (something) Shinobi, he recalled. That's where little Naru-chan's name came from, of all the ridiculous things. The teenage Jonin flopped down on the couch and opened the book. Immediately he was… intrigued. Maybe it was just because he'd been reading almost nothing but jutsu scrolls for what seemed like forever now, but he could easily admit that the book had a certain appeal.

Naru looked behind her, wondering where everyone went. Deciding to take a walk, she was unknowingly lucky that she was surrounded by those most responsible in the house that night - the summons - as she quietly closed the front door behind her.