I've got two more stories up: the same genre, but different from the others. At least a little different, with... Oh, check them yourself to find out!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. PLEASE REVIEW! I will take advice on pairings you'd like to eventually see, as well as suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

Emphasis

"I'll fucking kill that -hic- snake!"

Tsunade was pissed. She had analyzed and reanalyzed the boy recovered from Orochimaru's hideout, and was still reeling from the only conclusion possible. Orochimaru - that fucking traitor - had somehow gotten hold of her grandfather's cells and had introduced them to the boy's genetic code. Is this what he was aiming for with all those kids?! Poor brat doesn't even have a name He thought his name was a number! "Tch! I'm gonna," she belched, "KILL that fucking snake!"

She further stretched over the bar, sinking her head into her arms, and tried to force the tears back that only appeared when she was smashed. Damnit! Shizune was petting her head and trying to soothe her, but she was only annoying the Slug Sannin more. And now I've gotta stay in this hellhole!

No way was she going to leave someone who was essentially family - no matter how that happened - here in the village alone! She'd keep him out of ninja life entirely! Maybe - maybe I can be a mom to him. Scoffing at the drunken thought, she shook her pigtails as she sat up, hitting Shizune with them in the face. An aunt: I can be an aunt. She was already basically an aunt to Shizune and would have been her aunt legally, had she and Dan had time to marry. "Everyone's always taken away from me," she muttered. She let out something between a snort and a snore. At least I've proven time and time again that I'm a completely terrific auntie!

Shizune eyed Tsunade warily as the woman's head fell down on the table. Why did she have to drink SO much whenever she got any degree of bad news? With or without the chakra-enhanced dispelling of alcohol, the woman's liver had to be rotting! Tomorrow I'll check it. Tsunade-hime was a wonderful mentor, but as family she was… lacking. How many times growing up - all the way to the present time - had she had to either carry or ask someone else to carry her shishou home? Weekly, at least!

Shizune cleared her throat. "I'm so sorry that this has happened, shishou. But really, shouldn't we be getting back to move him into the compound? He's been at the hospital too long as it is, and we promised that today was the day." There was no response. "Have you thought of a name? I know he hasn't given a preference."

Tsunade finally raised her head and shrugged. She hiccupped loudly before speaking through little burps, "I was… thinking… that maybe, maybe he'd… liketa - my grandfather's." Her face hit the table, and Shizune was just able to slide her hand under the older woman's forehead before she may have given herself a bruise.

"Hashirama?! Shishou, that puts a lot of pressure on the boy, ne?! I really like him, too, but maybe you should reconsider…"

"Quiet, Shizune," Tsunade paused and sloppily poured another shot of sake. "Let's go pick up Hashi and bring him home." She stood up, only to slump down to the floor.

Kakashi and Naruto had settled into an amicable but quiet relationship. She was doing relatively well and had even grown a bit, although she was plagued by nightmares. He'd often find the little blonde standing outside his bedroom door at the Senju estate trembling, and could only lower his comforter so that she could crawl in beside him as comfort. At first, she had just laid down on his tatami, but more recently she'd occasionally cuddle into his warmth under the covers before finally falling asleep.

Neither called the other father or daughter, and he wasn't going near the idea of asking her to call him "Aniki" ever again. From what he'd learned from Inoichi, she'd minimally shared that someone "bad" had undoubtedly tortured the toddler when she was in that fucker's hellhole, and either he or Orochimaru insisted that the little princess call the former by that title. "Snakes:" that's what Naru referred to Orochimaru and whoever the kid assisting him was to Inoichi. Too true. Unfortunately, they hadn't managed to get much of anything else out of her.

I wonder what he did. Kakashi could only be grateful that either her Uzumaki genes or the Kyuubi had left her without scars. External scars, anyway. Her mind was another matter entirely. He felt a shock to his neck.

Damn that Inoichi! Kakashi rubbed his neck, scowling at the leftover stinging sensation. The mind walker had done something to him so that for the next two months he'd get shocked whenever he blamed himself - outside of therapy... That was the only time he was allowed to "give in" to his supposed self-loathing. He was shocked again. Traitorous bastard! They were comrades of the Leaf, and he wasn't being THAT difficult in therapy! The Yamanaka had used Kakashi's own chakra against him! Rubbing his back while inwardly cursing the entire Yamanaka clan, he realized Naru was sitting completely still with a little frown on her cute face.

"Maa, Naru-chan: why ya staring at the door, chibi?"

Naruto shook her head, feeling a bit disgusted. "Drunk granny's here with Shizuneesan and a boy. He - uh, he feels… Hmm. Feels like I know him?"

Ah, so the kid's finally coming "home." Kakashi sat up a bit on the couch, forcing himself to look away from his beloved novel. Naruto looked either concerned or angry - the latter of which was an emotion she was entirely uncomfortable with. He saw her put on an obviously fake little smile before reaching up to wiggle her front tooth. It was barely moving but was really bothering her. Suddenly the little blonde shot up and snuggled in close to him; she was apparently trying to hide.

The door opened to reveal Tsunade being nearly carried by Shizune. Kakashi rolled his eyes and got up to help the brunette out, but Naruto immediately pulled him back to her. He realized she was outright shaking as she buried her face to his side. "It's alright, hime," he rubbed her arm, hoping to comfort the girl.

Following his strangely behaving "aunt" along with his apparently strong "cousin," the newly-named Hashi anxiously looked around the main room of his supposedly new home. "Auntie Tsunade" had been telling him about it for weeks, saying that he'd be living there with them from now on with what she called "a chibi and junior pervert." Occasionally an even bigger pervert would join them she'd said, and they were supposed to be his family.

As soon as he learned what a pervert was, he once again felt doomed.

His eyes focused on a girl with bright yellow hair that was trying to hide before moving closer to her. He sucked in a breath before whispering her name - well, sort of her name. "Mina-chan?" She was hiding her face and shaking all over, but he'd know that hair anywhere, dirty or not! He could also see the marks on her cheek, so it had to be her! "Mina-chan, do you uh, remember me?" He watched as the marks on her face began to flicker, getting darker and bolder, before she'd let out a little snarl, showing her lengthening teeth. He quickly backed up as far as he could go, having seen this before. At least she's fighting it this time?

Kakashi nearly jumped at the heat coming off the little blonde. Seeing what was happening, he quickly raised his headband to reveal his Sharingan, and raised her up so that her eyes met his. For a moment the act seemed to completely enrage Naru before she went limp in his arms. "Holy…"

Naruto's stunning killing intent had completely washed away the inebriated affect from Tsunade. Shizune was already assessing the unconscious girl as Kakashi held her, so she immediately kneeled down to check on her nephew. "Hashi-kun, do you know Naru-chan? You - did you call her Mina- er, something else?"

"Hashi" tried to will himself away from the corner he'd crouched into, but his body would not agree!

"Hashi-kun?"

'Uhhh, Naru-chan? That - that's Mina-chan. I mean," he grimaced and shook his head a bit, trying to shake off the fear he felt. "That's not her whole name - and, and - she used to be called some other stuff, too." He looked at the floor. "Bad stuff," he said quietly.

"Well, Hashi-kun, her name really is Naru-chan. You knew her as Mina, though?" Tsunade asked, trying to keep her voice as soothing as possible.

"What 'bad stuff?'" Kakashi interrupted in a dark voice. "You said that wasn't her whole name?" He could only imagine that the bad names she'd been called in the snake's lair were similar to the ones she'd been earlier called in the village. And if "Mina" was short for what he feared it was, Orochimaru was going to die an absolute grisly death.

"No sir. I mean, hai?! She - I'm pretty sure her name's Minato. Minato er, umm. Well, 836 said 'spawn' was a bad word, though. As in, not a person's name."

Kakashi closed his eyes as he left the room carrying little Naruto into his room to place her in his bed. He snuggled her little unconscious form closer to him, counting all of the ways he could inflict horrendous pain before finally assassinating that fucking snake.