A.N. Getting a few of these out quickly, since they've already been written. Please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my original characters and plot points.
The Rivendell sentries must have alerted the inhabitants of the valley to their visitor's presence, for a small welcoming party was waiting for the Company at the entrance to the main gate. Gandalf, having already warned everyone to remain silent, greeted the Lord of Rivendell in elvish. After a few exchanged words that none of the rest of them could understand, the lord looked at Thorin.
"You are welcome here, Thorin, son of Thrain," he greeted respectfully.
"I do not believe we have met," Thorin responded, tone civil, but not liking the upper hand the elf had.
"You have your grandfather's bearing," Elrond said. "I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain,"
"Indeed? He made no mention of you," which was true. He heard the girl sigh behind him, and tried not to glower at her. Elrond however, turned his gaze to her.
"This young woman must be the one who answered the summon," his face was kind and gentle, as if to put the girl at ease.
"Something like that," she responded, a smile in her voice as well.
"This is Danica MacKay," Gandalf introduced. "She has graciously agreed to be our guide,"
Elrond's smile grew. "We all owe you a debt of gratitude, then. Gandalf had told me of the woman who would see this quest fail. Because of her betrayal, the success of this Company is paramount to the safety of the world,"
After those heavy words, he invited them to clean up and join him for dinner. They were all grateful for the chance to get some of the grime off, and have a full meal. Gandalf shared another word with Elrond, who then offered to help the girl with her ribs. Thorin was about to protest, but ended up staying silent as they led her away. He and the others were shown some rooms they could stay in, and though it was a great temptation to reject the offer, they accepted. A soft mattress would ease their aches and pains.
It didn't take long to wash up for dinner, as full baths could wait until later. The dining area was open to the sunset, with elves already playing some kind of monotonous music. Once they were all seated, Thorin noticed that the girl was missing.
"I had to reset the rib, and gave her something for the pain. It will make her drowsy for a couple of hours, so she elected to take a bath, and then sleep," Lord Elrond explained. Thorin merely nodded.
They spoke some while they ate. Elrond told them more about the blades they'd discovered in the cave, and gave them back, much to Thorin's surprise. This elf seemed to have more respect for those outside of his own race than Thorin had ever seen. If he were being honest, he was greatly pleased at being given Orcrist. The blade was the finest he'd ever seen, or possessed. He looked forward to seeing how it fared in a battle. His attention was taken when Bofur got up and led the dwarves in one of their own songs to break up the tedium of the elvish music. For the first time in a long time, Thorin truly enjoyed himself , smiling while stomping to the beat. It was good to see the others relaxed and laughing, the burdens of the future temporarily forgotten.
After dinner, they went to fully bathe and wash their clothes before going to bed.
"We should check on Dani," Bilbo said as they walked.
"The elf said she was resting," Dwalin replied gruffly. "I'm sure we'll see her tomorrow,"
They could all hear the disapproval in his voice, and Fili seemed fed up with it.
"Dwalin, could you please take out whatever rod you have up your ass about Dani?"
"Watch yer mouth, lad," Dwalin warned.
"You have already proclaimed your displeasure at having her here plenty of times. We get it. Even Thorin said we were to stop questioning her place,"
Dwalin frowned, and everyone took a step back from the arguing pair. "I am not questioning her place; merely reminding everyone that it is a terrible idea. Look at what happened to her with the trolls!"
Some nodded. Balin looked at Thorin, clearly wondering if they should break this up.
"That happened because she was saving a child!" Fili fired back. "Something that shows a lot of honor and courage. You cannot deny that,"
"No. And ye cannot deny the weakness of her heart. We all see how close she gets to losing control of her emotions. The only way she can function is by breathing in medicinal smoke, or training herself to exhaustion,"
It was a cold, hard truth, and had some of them bowing their heads in reluctant agreement. Fili, however, would not back down.
"We do not know what difficulties she has faced before,"
"Which is part of the problem! How are we to know what will make her break, or turn and run?"
"You have seen how she trains, and how she defends us in conflicts. She won't run away,"
"Yer just fighting for her because ye want her! Her beauty is a curse to this quest!"
"Enough!" Thorin's yell startled those around him, but barely phased Fili and Dwalin. "She is on this quest, whether you like it or not. You both have valid points, but arguing about it like this will get us nowhere. This time in Rivendell may help to ease some of our worries,"
"Worries that you all can't seem to get past," a small voice had them all turning to see the girl leaning against a wall, the cougar at her side. Her body was still weak, but her eyes blazed. "Dwalin is right. You don't know what difficulties I have faced,"
"Dani, you don't have to explain yourself," Bilbo said kindly.
"Apparently I do, so I will," the venom in her voice could have withered stone, as could the glare she directed at Dwalin. She then sighed, resting a hand on the cougar's head. "I was not completely honest the first time we met. I wasn't just attached to someone, I was married. My husband and I had been together for nearly six years when he died. He had joined the military, partially to support us as a family. When he died, I blamed myself, as did his family. His sister and I had a huge fight the day of his funeral. She screamed at me for stealing him from them. We struck at each other, and she ended up pushing me down a flight of stairs. She ran away, and disappeared. The police say she's dead,"
It was completely silent as they all watched and listened to her. She swallowed with some difficulty, and Thorin feared the worst was yet to come.
"I was taken to a hospital after the fall, where we found out I was pregnant. In all of the grief, I hadn't noticed, and just thought I'd gained some weight. The fall had caused complications, and they had to take the baby out, or we would both die. She was too little to live, and the doctors knew there was nothing they could do for her. They allowed me to hold her while she died," tears leaked out now, and her hands began to shake. "She was so tiny. Couldn't open her eyes, but I kissed her head and little fingers before she went to sleep,"
Her breath hitched, but she closed her eyes, and pushed it all back. When she opened them, they once again landed on Dwalin.
"I survived that, and still agreed to face whatever horrors this quest may bring. Does that satisfy you?" with that, she turned and walked away.
They remained in silence, unable to do anything but listen to the pounding of their own hearts.
"Well, shit," Dwalin finally breathed.
"Now look what you did," Kili accused.
"If she had been honest from the beginning, this wouldn't have happened," Dwalin defended, but there was little conviction in his words.
"What did you expect?" Kili countered. "For her to reveal her deepest secrets and tragedies to a group of strangers? Male strangers no less?"
"Poor Dani," Ori murmured sadly.
"I'll go after her," Fili said, already moving.
"Wait, I will go," Thorin moved forward, and put a hand on Fili's shoulder.
Though he continued to look dubious, Fili nodded and backed up.
"Come on lads," Balin sighed as Thorin walked away. "We can make our apologies later,"
Thorin thought long and hard as he followed after the girl. Her story had shocked him, and it had taken a moment for his brain to return to logical thinking. At first, he'd hated the idea of her being married, and had felt an unbidden stab of jealousy. She had loved someone, and he had loved her back. Someone had touched her and kissed her, and made her feel the way no one else could. But then, as she'd continued her tale, that hadn't mattered. All of that loss, and she still managed to smile and laugh with everyone, carrying such a sincere warmth and kindness. They had all underestimated her. Perhaps him most of all. But there was still something she was hiding, and he needed to know the full truth.
He finally found her looking out over the valley from a balcony. She seemed to be in control of herself, but when he moved toward her, Estellia suddenly jumped out, growling in warning.
"I only want to talk," he promised softly, feeling a little ridiculous. "Please,"
Eyeing him a moment longer, the cat finally relaxed, and allowed him past. Walking carefully, he made his way over to the girl, and stood next to her.
"Miss MacKay?"
She flinched at the sound of his voice, but otherwise remained still.
"Please leave me alone," she moaned.
"I cannot do that," he replied gently.
She kept her face forward, not even turning her head. Her breathing was calm, but her hands clenched the bannister.
"You need to be honest with me," he pressed. "I know you were using Gandalf's pipe to relax, and I believe whatever you are struggling with happened before you lost your family. I am not trying to be inconsiderate of the pain you went through, nor what you feel now, but you are a part of this Company, and I am its leader,"
When she sniffed, he nearly jolted. He still wasn't comfortable with a crying female. Thankfully, she remained where she was, and when she spoke, she still sounded calm.
"There is a sickness that runs in my family," his heart stopped at her words, but he remained silent. "I'm not completely sure how far back it goes; at least a few generations. My great-grandmother had a terrible relationship with her mother, which she passed on to her daughter, and then my mother. All of them had times when they seemed fine; happy and normal. Then, with little to no provocation, they would turn on you. They would be angry and depressed. For days, even weeks, they would snap at everyone around them, not wanting to leave their beds. My sister showed signs around puberty,"
He believed he knew where this was going. "And you?"
She sighed. "Around the same time, just in a different way. My sister was nasty more often than not, but also began holing herself inside our house, shutting herself away from the outside world. I, on the other hand, remained normal enough that no one seemed to suspect anything. The times I was manic, they passed off as being a hard worker with a lot of energy. The other times…well, that they said was me being lazy and hormonal. They expected me to be like my manic self all the time, and when I wasn't, no one wanted to be around me. Eventually, the stress of it all had me shying away from the world as well. I pushed people away, and cried a lot. It wasn't until I got married that I finally decided to get help. I knew something was wrong, and refused to live miserably in denial like the rest of my family,"
It all sounded uncomfortably familiar, though he did not want to admit why. "So, why did you need Gandalf?"
"The help I received from doctors in my world was something I needed to take every day. Without the medicine, I would start to show symptoms again," her breath caught a little, and she looked up, as if praying for strength. "It had all gotten worse after I lost my husband and baby, and I couldn't allow that to happen. Not here. Not when there's so much at stake. I was terrified of becoming that person again,"
Guilt sat heavy in Thorin's stomach. How many times had he feared he would turn into his grandfather? How many times had people doubted him, knowing his family's history? How many times had his own nightmares robbed him of sleep and sanity?
"Why did you not tell us?" he asked.
"Because I knew, without knowing me, you would think I was weak. You had a hard enough time trusting me, a stranger. The idea that I could be unstable would have only made things worse. I wanted to help, and couldn't stand the thought of any of you looking at me the way my own family had,"
He wanted to argue, but couldn't. "Fili knew, though, didn't he?"
She nodded. "One of the times he was on watch, I had a nightmare, which turned into a panic attack, and he helped me through it,"
Once again, the dark, jealous feeling crept up against his nephew, but he fought it. "And now?"
"Lord Elrond was able to provide a more permanent solution. Elven healing truly is incredible," her voice was weak and shaky, and he could hear tears coming. "I should be fine from here on out,"
Though he still didn't know exactly what to do, he knew he couldn't leave her crying. Tears had already escaped, leaking down her cheeks. When she finally turned her face to him, the heart-break in her eyes made his heart ache.
"It appears his solution did not work that well," he had meant it lightly, but it sounded like almost everything else he'd ever said to her.
Wiping her face with the backs of her hands, she looked out to the valley again. "It did. I imagine this is what normal crying is like for people. Any other time, I would be sobbing uncontrollably, and screaming at anyone who came near. My previous meltdowns were not a pretty sight to behold,"
And here he was, making her feel like she needed to force herself to be alright. "You don't have to hide. Grief is nothing to be ashamed of. What you lost has completely destroyed others that I have known,"
His permission was all that was needed to break her control. Eyes squeezing shut, she doubled over, and wept. As gently as he could, he took her shoulders, and guided her into his arms. Her hands clutched at the front of his tunic while her head rested against his shoulder. Letting instinct take over, he stroked a hand up and down her back, making occasional shushing sounds. Sometimes, all one needed to heal was cry. When the sobs subsided, he continued to hold her, gently stroking her back. The sun had long set, and the air cooled slightly with the night. He continued to stroke, noting the softness of her still-damp braid.
"Is your room near ours?" he asked softly after a while.
She weakly nodded, stepping back to wipe her face. "I'm sorry," she said, giving a weak laugh as she touched a hand to where her tears had soaked his tunic.
"You do not need to apologize," he replied gently. When she kept her face down, he lifted her chin with his hand, and repeated, "You do not need to apologize,"
Once again, she nodded. He offered her his arm to escort her to her room. Despite his previous efforts, he knew that this night would forever change their relationship. So much connected them now, and there was a protectiveness he felt toward her that far exceeded anything he'd felt before. She was his to take care of, and he didn't want anyone else to do it. A part of him realized the insanity of this, but was chased away by her scent, which surrounded him, and overwhelmed his senses. It was sweet and fresh, like cucumbers and spring fruit. That same scent had been on her when she'd nearly run into him at Bilbo's house. Unlike then, there was no way for him to escape.
They came to the area where most of the rooms were, and it was still empty, which meant the others were likely off bathing. Well, playing in the water was more accurate at this point.
"No one is here," he told her. "Which room is yours?"
"Down that hall, first door to the left,"
Somehow, he wasn't really surprised that she had pointed to the room across from his. They walked through the courtyard that all their rooms surrounded, and down their hallway. Instead of doors, many of the rooms had a small, l-shaped corridor that kept the rest of the chamber from sight. He stopped just outside hers.
"Will you be alright?" he asked.
"I should be good as new in the morning," she replied, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. "I guess I just needed to let it all go,"
"I will leave you to sleep, then," he said, turning.
"Wait,"
He looked back, and saw the fear and vulnerability barely masking her embarrassment. However, she bravely held his gaze.
"Thank you. For everything,"
"You are welcome," he let his face soften into a small smile, and felt some relief when the cougar slid past them into her room. Knowing she would be safe for the night, he went to his own bed, and wrestled with everything he had just unleashed.
P.S. Reviews and comments welcome!