Hello everyone, so it's been *checks calendar* over a year since this updated... oops?
This chapter was giving me major writers block and then I moved onto other projects but I'm back now a better writer than I was a year ago with hopefully more chapters on the way soon
This chapter is set right after season 7 ep 16, which if you don't remember is the one where Gibb's mother in law is involved in a case. Enjoy!
The sun was setting, the case was over, and it was time to go home, but Gibbs couldn't bring himself to leave.
He sat at his desk, staring at a picture of Shannon and Kelly, replaying the day's events in his mind.
He had let his team down, theoretically. Had let his country down. He had let his own personal feelings get in the way of justice, and wasn't that supposed to be everything he was against?
But then again, he had hunted Reynosa down, he had taken the shot. How could he fault Joanne from doing the same?
He sighed, running his finger over his girl's faces, what would they think of him now if they saw him, what would they think of Joanne?
"Gibbs?" a voice broke his thoughts, "You're still here."
He looked up to see Ziva.
"Hey Ziver," he said, "What are you doing here?"
"I asked first," she challenged. Because Ziva was smart, and she noticed things that no one else did, like the way Gibbs was carefully turned over the photo.
"I was just filling out some paperwork," he lied.
Ziva's eyes narrowed, but she nodded, "I left my book in my desk, just came back to get it."
Gibbs nodded, "Well, goodnight Ziva." hoping she would get the hint and leave.
She didn't. Or she did and just ignored it.
Instead of leaving she walked over to his desk and hovered over the photo, silently asking a question. Gibbs didn't say anything, just watched as she turned the photo. Her eyes softened looking at the picture. Kelly was about three in it, laughing as she made cookies with her Mom, both of them completely covered in flour.
Gibbs opened his mouth to say something, whether an explanation or apology he didn't know, but the words wouldn't come out.
After a few seconds, Ziva handed him back the photo, "Come with me."
"What?" She smiled at him and walked out of the bullpen.
"Damn it Ziva," he muttered, grabbing his bag and rushing after her. These kids would be the death of him.
As soon as he realized where they were going, Gibbs wanted to leap out of the car, but something made him stay. And so they pulled into the familiar parking lot, Ziva grabbing the gloves and the ball from her trunk.
"Come," she said, leading him to the field, and Gibbs followed knowing when Ziva was this determined, nothing could stop her.
"Ready?" she asked. He nodded and the ball flew through the air.
He had to reach to catch it, wincing as it hit his bare palm. Ziva was getting stronger, more sure in her movements.
He threw the ball back and smiled when it went straight to Ziva's glove. She had caught onto the whole thing quickly, he thought as the ball soared back towards him.
He remembered teaching Kelly to throw. Her first throw had been weak and wobbly, barley going a few feet. The next throw, after a few pointers, had soared high in the air and (to Gibb's horror) had hit one of the windows. Thankfully, Kelly had been five at the time, so the ball had simply bounced off, but he had been careful to always take her away from the house after that.
He was brought out of his thoughts by the ball soaring past his ear and thudding to the ground a few feet away.
"Pay attention Gibbs," Ziva teased.
He jogged to get the ball and tossed it back. After a few more throws he began to notice that something was different. Ziva wasn't falling into a pattern like they usually did. She kept changing it up. Throwing higher or lower, one side or the other, forcing Gibbs to have to work to catch the ball. It wasn't dramatic but it was enough that he could realize what she was doing. She's not letting me zone out. He realized, She's forcing me to get out of my head.
The thought brought with it a rush of affection for the young woman before him. Ziva didn't show her love in obvious ways. She didn't hug everyone like Abby, or give gifts like Tony, but she cared in her own way.
They played for a few more minutes, until Gibbs was sweating despite the chill in the air.
"Water break?" He called to Ziva. She gave a thumbs up and joined him on the bench.
Gibbs takes a deep breath of the night air and looks up at the sky, "Stars are beautiful tonight."
Ziva hums in agreement, and they both stare at the sky.
"It was Joann wasn't it?" Ziva said bluntly after a few minutes.
Gibbs breathed, "Yeah."
Ziva nodded, not taking her eyes off the stars.
"When Tali died," she said, "It tore me apart."
Gibbs froze, because Ziva talked about her sister about as often as he talked about Shannon and Kelly.
"I hunted down the men responsible," Ziva said, "We tore apart their entire organization, and I found the man who was in charge of the attack. He was unarmed, defeated, and my father told me to take him alive."
She looked at Gibbs, "I didn't."
Gibbs doesn't really know what to say to that.
"We all do crazy things for family Gibbs," Ziva whispers.
"Not the same," Gibbs says, before he can stop himself.
Ziva's brow furrows and he continues, "You killed a terrorist responsible for hundreds of deaths, I let a guilty woman go." I'm guilty. He wants to say, I killed Reynosa and got away with it. But he doesn't.
"Yes, you did," Ziva said. She doesn't hide from the truth, doesn't try to justify it or excuse it and Gibbs wished he could be more like her.
"Do you regret it?" Ziva asked.
Gibbs shook his head.
"Then let it go," Ziva said. She looks up at the sky again, "You can't change it now."
"Never been good at letting things go," Gibbs muttered.
Ziva gives him a crooked smile, "Me neither."
Like father like daughter Gibbs thinks before he can stop himself.
"Tell me about her?" Ziva asks, "Kelly?"
The question takes him by surprise, but he takes a deep breath and begins to tell the story of how Kelly once managed to catch a snapping turtle in the creek behind their house and had nearly given Shannon a heart attack.
The memories hurt like always, but here in the open air beneath the stars, they hurt a little less.