Cassidy shot daggers at the back of Nat's head as he left the doorway and looked back to Steve.
"Oh my God." He whispered, covering his face with his hand.
"Hey." Cassidy said softly. "Nat has caught many people in worse situations than this one, it doesn't phase her. It's okay, really." Steve nodded, leaning down and brushing her nose with his before kissing her softly.
"I love you." He whispered against her lips.
"I love you too, now come on before Nat comes back and kills us both." Cassidy grabbed his hand and led him down the hall, changing into their uniforms before heading down to the training part of the compound.
They met Nat just outside the training facility and she glanced up at the two of them. "Bout time. I could have gotten her clothes off sooner Rogers; do you need some pointers?" She asked before handing the tablet with the recruit's info on it to Steve, then she turned and walked inside.
Cassidy's mouth just hung open. She knew Nat had become pricklier since Bruce had left but she really wasn't holding back now.
"Cass, am I gonna have to fight Nat for you?" Steve asked. Cassidy turned to look at him and there was a look on his face that was a mix of jealousy and amusement.
Cassidy shrugged. "Maybe I should since you made me wait so long. She also doesn't have Bruce right now so she's extra horny." She told him, spinning on her heel and walking into the room.
She stepped onto the platform with Nat, Steve coming a few seconds after, red in the face. Cassidy smirked and looked out to their new recruits. There was Sam, Wanda, and Vision, a good team she thought.
They started with basic hand to hand. Sam was obviously good, and Vision picked it up pretty quickly, but Wanda needed work. She always used her powers, so she never needed to know hand to hand combat.
Cassidy volunteered to train Wanda, knowing she would take a more delicate approach than Nat would. She took Wanda into the boxing ring and showed her how to stretch correctly. "Trust me, if you don't stretch, you'll regret it later." The witch smiled at her and joined her in stretching.
They bonded fast after that first training session. Cassidy found she really liked Wanda. She was so misunderstood, and she was in so much pain after losing her brother. Cassidy would check on her everyday and they would walk down to training together. They stayed up late and watched movies and drank wine. There were several instances where Wanda had to deliver a drunken Cassidy back to Steve.
Steve didn't mind though. Because when Cassidy came back drunk, is when she cuddled the most and she always wanted to cling to Steve, and he loved that. He was also okay with her coming back drunk some nights because that would mean she wasn't feeling pain like he was from Bucky. It was always the worst at night. Something was wrong.
Bucky shot up out of the bed for the third time that night. Images from the Sokovia news kept playing through his head and how they knew Cassidy was dead. He wondered if he'd ever get a full night's sleep again. Probably now, between this and Hydra nightmares.
Bucky ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He had been debating on contacting Steve to see if he was okay, but he couldn't bring himself to pick up the phone. Steve probably didn't want to see Bucky, and Bucky didn't blame him. He was ashamed. Ashamed that he had hurt them, and ashamed that he ran.
He was terrified when he walked into the church down the street earlier that day. He had wanted to light a candle for Cassidy, or pray, or something that would maybe make him feel at peace with her death, although he knew he never would be.
He didn't know how to deal with these feelings. He couldn't remember the last time he felt like this. Now that he was mostly in control, he had never felt more broken and alone. Tears began to fall down his face and his hands began to shake. He was so tired of feeling like this, he didn't want to be alone anymore.
He wanted Steve. He wanted Cassidy. He wanted to be loved. He let out a strangled cry and his hand went to rub at his collarbone where her words were. His breaths became more ragged and he struggled to get another one as he slid to the floor. What the hell was happening to him?
He stumbled to his feet, making his way into the bathroom, forgoing removing his clothes and got into the shower, turning the water on as cold as it would go. He thought that maybe that would calm his nervous system down.
The longer Bucky sat there, the worse he got. His whole body was shaking now, and he wasn't sure if it was the water or everything else. Bucky was full on sobbing now and wasn't sure if he could stop.
"I'm so sorry doll, I should have been there to save you. I'm sorry that I ran. I just hope that you can hear me and you forgive me. I don't know what to do anymore." He sobbed.
I do.
Bucky stopped crying, looking down at his hand.
I can take it away. The pain. Just let me.
Bucky shook his head. "I can't. I don't- "
You are freaking the fuck out. You're about to pass out. Let me fix it.
Bucky didn't know what to do. He did know that he was tired of feeling like this. Maybe it would be better this way. He wouldn't be in pain anymore. He took a shaky breath and nodded. "Okay."
Okay.
Bucky closed his eyes and let go, and he didn't feel anything anymore.