Levi and Erwin stared at each other. After the success of the Uprising, he could feel the pride of the Commander overflowing the room in every meeting. However, the Captain had not expected that even after losing his arm, he would still lead the mission to take back the Shiganshina District. Despite Levi's words of discouragement and threats to break his legs, Erwin was set on joining the rest of the Survey Corps. He wanted to be there once they discovered the truth about the Titans, even if it cost him his life.
Levi remembered what Kenny had said in his last moments after the collapse of the Reiss Chapel: we all need to be drunk on something to keep going. For Erwin, that meant learning the truth about this world, and leading humanity to its freedom. And Levi felt like he was in no position to take that dream away from him, no matter how much he valued the Commander's life.
The words of his now-deceased uncle echoed over his thoughts while he clenched his hand around the titan serum. What is it that keeps you going? What is your poison? For so long, he had followed Erwin's conviction as if it were his, and now that the Commander's life was at risk, he realized he had nothing and no one else to turn to, no other purpose to make all the sacrifices worth it.
"There is something else I would like to discuss with you," said Erwin, forcing Levi to snap out of his thoughts. The blond was standing next to his desk, wearing an elegant shirt illuminated by the light from the window. His defined features and blue eyes, and the authority of his rank, gave him an aura of divinity as he spoke, "Sophie Lhant. You know her, correct?"
Levi frowned. Of course, Erwin knew about their time in the Underground. After all, she had been the one to put them in contact, so why was he acting so oblivious? Instead of confronting him, he decided to play along, "The name rings a bell, why?"
"She has requested to join the Survey Corps."
Levi clenched his jaw in response. When he had asked her to finally pick a side and do the right thing, he didn't expect her to go to such lengths. His mind went back to Kenny's words: what is it that keeps you going?
"What does that have to do with me?"
"She would be a fine addition to our team. She ranked 4th of her division, despite Pixis already ensuring her a job at Engineering to restitute her crimes. Hange and Sophie worked together on the Executioner from Hell and I have also heard that she was quite active in the setup of the bombs against Reiss's Titan. She doesn't seem to fear getting her hands dirty when the situation requires it." Erwin stopped to analyze Levi's expression, who was simply leaning on the door, unbothered. "I was wondering what would make such a distinguished member of the Military go into the field. I would assume that anyone enjoying the comfortable life of Mitras would not want to give that up to kill Titans."
Levi slightly frowned in confusion as Erwin mentioned the capital. As far as he recalled, she lived in Ehrmich, but he let it slide.
"Why don't you ask her?"
"I did. She said she wanted to fight for humanity and do the right thing. That she was tired of hiding."
"There you go. Unlike the other high-class snobs, she feels guilty for wasting the taxpayers' money. Mystery solved." Despite saying it out loud, he didn't quite believe that was the only reason she had to join the Corps. He had seen the sober decoration of her house, how she didn't carry any jewelry or flaunt her wealthiness in any way.
"I agree that she has a notorious reputation, but that should not interfere with her fitness for the Corps."
"Huh?"
"Forgive me, I believe gossip and slander are off-topic," said Erwin shaking his head. Levi was visibly confused at his remarks but did not want to inquire any further. "After the coup, we had to cleanse the corruption among our lines. But I wouldn't be surprised if this were a trick from Zachary to oversee the Corps now that we have retrieved our power. Now, Levi, do you trust her?"
He reflected on the situation. Bringing such a respected officer among their lines would probably improve the public's opinion on the Corps, which would mean more funding and recruits. He was surprised to see how selective Erwin was being about her, to the point where he was asking for Levi's opinion.
"If she is such a valuable member of Engineering, then I would rather have her stay inside the Walls drawing bridges and keeping Hange's crazy ideas at bay. But it's not like we have a lot of manpower at the Corps right now."
"I agree, but that is not what I asked."
Levi sighed and stared decisively at the blond, "I haven't had a proper conversation with her in ages, so I can't tell you whether she is trustworthy. After all, even if she is on our side now, she still worked for the Antipersonnel squad."
"You believe she could easily switch sides again?" inquired the Commander.
"Maybe. But those bastards can be quite pushy too. Back when they captured her in the Underground, she could've made a deal and sold us out to the Police straight away. Instead, she waited and reached out to you so we could be part of the Corps and live a better life on the surface." He looked away as he remembered the dreadful events of his first mission. "Even if it didn't work out for Farlan and Isabel."
"But it did work out for you, I would say," remarked Erwin without hesitation.
"I don't think that watching my comrades die in every mission is something I should be thankful to Sophie," he replied, giving a menacing look to the Commander. Since they had learned that Titans had been humans once, their beliefs regarding the sacrifices of their comrades had been opposite. But he did not want to confront him on that topic again, not with all the other matters they had at hand. "Are you planning on sending her to Shiganshina?"
Erwin shook his head and sat on the main chair, "Even if I wanted to, she is still working on some new armament. The Police will not let go of her until she is done with their projects."
"At least that is one burden less for the mission. Now it's your time to step back."
Erwin smirked, "Thank you for your concern, Captain. You are dismissed."
That night, the Corps celebrated the success of the Uprising and the departure to Shiganshina with a grand dinner. They had even brought the meat and wine from the Royal reservoirs, which had caused more of a dispute between the militaries than a bash. Despite the occasional fight for the most tender piece of beef, everyone seemed happy. Even Sophie had been there, invited by Hange after learning that the fellow scientist would now be part of the Corps. Levi wasn't surprised that those two smart freaks had bonded so well together, but he was slightly envious of how close they were.
He hadn't approached Sophie to tell her about Kenny, and how he had finally fulfilled the deal they made back in the Underground almost a decade before. He felt that she was enjoying herself too much to bring up the past again.
And he wasn't at the party anymore. After breaking up a fight between two of the brats, he had decided to leave the crowded scene to clear his mind before the mission. He had instructed everyone to go to bed, but he knew that very few would follow his order. In the end, they all needed something to celebrate.
While he was sitting outside, he had overheard a conversation between Eren, Mikasa, and Armin. They had talked about how excited they were of seeing the outside world: the sea, the desert, and the frozen steppes. He knew it had been indiscreet of him to listen to the full conversation instead of just leaving, but their aspirations reminded him of how he used to look up in the Underground cave with Farlan, Sophie, and Isabel and dream of the same things they did.
Now that the trio had left, and he found himself alone thinking about those memories, his life with Kenny, and what his purpose would be once humanity was freed. The same sentences kept creeping back into his mind, repeating like a mantra: We all need to be drunk on something to keep going. What is your poison, Levi?
His train of thought was interrupted once he distinguished a figure swaying in front of him, illuminated by the moonlight, and the reflection from the river nearby. It was a feminine figure, and he didn't need to get closer to know who it was.
He stood up and walked towards her. She was holding a bottle of wine, which she occasionally drank with the manners of a brute, while she swung around as if she were trying to dance to an inaudible tune. He put a hand over her shoulder, and she stopped to turn around and look at him. Of course, it was Sophie.
She smiled and took another sip of the almost empty bottle before rubbing her lips with the sleeve of her delicate white shirt, which made Levi grunt in disgust. Despite the dinner being an unofficial celebration, she still wore a simple but elegant dress tightened by a corseted bodice.
"Well, well, if it isn't the great Capitan Levi," she said with a drunken voice, swaying her head as she spoke. Despite the distance between them, Levi could still smell the alcohol and distinguish the redness tainting her cheeks.
"Taking advantage of the fact that you are not on duty tomorrow. I see," he said with disdain.
"Oh, shut up, I do have to train, but a day is a day, right?" she giggled.
"Not very professional of you, now that you are part of the Survey Corps," he replied, unbothered by her enjoyment.
Sophie pouted, "You are no fun." And span around as if she were still dancing.
"I'm your superior now. Don't expect special treatment," he said crossing his arms while observing her blunt moves.
"Oh, but you see, I'm not that lonely, weak girl from the Underground anymore." She moved closer to him and took another sip of the wine while fixing her eyes on him.
"And I am not that basement gentleman," he replied firmly.
"Is that so?" She finished the rest of the drink in one big gulp and threw the empty bottle away. Levi tried to catch it and avoid leaving sharp crystals all over the street, but he failed to do so and the clinking sound of the glass against the road resonated in the alley.
Before he could scold her for such childish behavior, she gently grabbed both of his wrists and slowly pushed his body towards hers. He was now close enough to feel her alcohol-scented breath on his face.
"So, I've heard you are going on a very, very dangerous mission tomorrow," said Sophie while staring at him.
He opened his mouth slightly before replying, tasting the whiff of the wine, "Yes."
"Then tell me, Captain." She eased the grip she had on his wrists and gently caressed the back of his hands. "Since you don't want to promise me to come back alive, how likely is it that you'll survive?"
The soft tone of her voice relaxed Levi's initial shock and nervousness. He had also drunk at the party, and while his alcohol tolerance was way higher than Sophie's, he couldn't deny that it was helping him to loosen up. He wanted to believe that the booze was the only reason why he was not breaking contact with the new subordinate.
"Why do you care?" he asked in return, defiant.
She slowly bent her neck to the side. No matter who seductive she was trying to be, she could not mask the goofiness caused by the wine. For a moment, he glimpsed the young girl that had once lived with him.
"I was wondering whether this would be our last night together, Captain." She said his rank with a playful voice, almost teasing him.
"Would that change anything?"
"Maybe."
He knew the game she was playing. This time, they were not two teenagers in a dark basement, too nervous to take the first step. She was one of the most powerful and confident women in the Military. He was Humanity's strongest soldier. And yet, something was still holding them back. None of them wanted to make a move, and forever be at the mercy of the other.
But he wanted to see how far the play would go. He moved his right hand away from Sophie's touch and placed it on the back of her head to remove the metal needle fastening her bun. After all those years, she still hadn't bothered to change her hairstyle, maybe as a tribute to her old self. Once the needle was gone, her long, wavy hair dropped elegantly over her shoulders and the moonlight shone on her copper highlights.
He admired her features for a moment, while she kept her dark eyes fixed on him. She responded to his provocation by fully holding his hand, intertwining their fingers together as she left a small breath escape. He was so close to her he could almost feel the warmth of her lips on his. Yet he attached the needle to his belt and used his now free hand to caress Sophie's cheek, and she gently closed her eyes in response. He scanned her face; the forehead, the shape of her nose, the closed eyelids with rubbed off makeup, the blemishes and tiny freckles of her skin, the tender lips, and her gracious jawline.
He knew what he was doing was wrong, and that showing favoritism for one of his subordinates would only get him in trouble. He would never sacrifice his comrades for the safety of the woman who pushed him and his friends to join the Corps. And yet he wasn't thinking about that now, he was only thinking about what the boy from the basement wanted to do at that moment. What he needed to keep going.
Suddenly, a loud clattering sound echoed from one of the nearby alleys. Sophie let out a small gasp of surprise and turned her head towards the origin of the crash, slightly pushing herself away from him. But he didn't want it to end there, not by some random blast. He gently grabbed her chin and turned her face towards him. She opened her eyes in surprise and leaned forward, holding his hand stronger than before. They both opened their mouth slightly and approached one another in an almost synchronized way. As they slowly tasted each other's lips, they melted into a kiss. It was a novel feeling for him, nevertheless, he felt relaxed, connecting with his old self as he wrapped his arms around the body of the girl, who despite getting him in so much trouble, could not get away from.
Maybe he had picked his poison.