The chill night breeze entered through the open window, gently swaying the delicate curtains. Sophie sat on a velvet chair, braiding her hair and observing her reflection on the dresser's mirror. Instead of staring at herself with vanity, she did it as a form of introspection. She looked beyond the features of her face, focusing on the depth of her tired eyes as if they were a pit hiding her soul at the bottom.
She stripped herself of all her titles, money, praise, and success. She looked at the reflection, not as Asbel's wife or the Chief of Engineering, but rather Sophie Lhant. She had always taken pride in her name —enough to not change her surname after marrying—and yet she wasn't sure of the meaning behind it. Everyone thought of her as a genius, but just as she couldn't see her true self in that mirror, she didn't see herself reflected in that word. Perhaps all those mechanisms, and the need for praise and recognition, had suppressed her true passions and purpose. While running her fingers through her hair, she wondered who she would've been if she hadn't followed her dad's path as her own.
Once she finished the braid, she placed her hands on the dresser's desk, covered with all kinds of cosmetics and jewelry. She observed the golden needle on the side, wanting to throw it out the window. She clenched her fist around it, ready to get rid of it for once and for all. Just as she was about to stand up, the bedroom door opened. She slowly moved her hand away from the ornament.
"Hello, dear," said the newcomer. Sophie didn't turn around to greet them. Instead, she observed the figure from the reflection in the mirror. It was Asbel. "I'm back."
He walked towards her, with his hands inside the pockets of his fine grey trousers. They had been married for almost three years, and yet she had barely seen him wearing casual clothes. He bent forward and kissed her cheek. Her first instinct was to push him away, and she felt sick to the stomach feeling his closeness. He whispered to her ear, "I've missed you."
"You've been away for a week." She pointed out, looking away from the mirror.
"I had some business outside the Capital," he said, leaning on the edge of the dresser. "But it seems like I wasn't the only one who took a trip. I've heard that you've been to the Industrial City while I was gone."
Her first instinct was to lie to him, but there was no point in it. "Yes."
"Why?" he inquired, imposing.
She stood up, pushing the chair back. She turned around, leaning her back on the table in a similar way to Asbel. They were next to each other, but she looked at the floor while he frowned at her.
Just as sharp and direct as he was, she decided to cut to the chase. "What are you doing, Asbel?"
He scoffed, "What do you mean?"
She crossed her arms and seethed, "The whole point of skipping the Board's production line was to make everything faster, so the cities and the Military could improve." She turned around and looked at him, tensing up her body as she shouted, "Not to trap citizens in the Underground working day and night for scraps of food!"
He lifted his chin and breathed in. His calm presence enraged Sophie even more. "I see," he sighed.
"Why? Why are you doing this? Why did you make me a part of it?" she cried, feeling her chest tighten with every word. "How can you sleep at night knowing what you've done?"
He frowned at her, unbothered by the loudness and aggression in her voice.
"Because it has always been like this, and it's the only way things can work. You always need to lose some pawns to win," he replied calmly.
She lifted her hand, pointing her finger at him as she screamed, "Don't turn this into a game. These are people!"
He crossed his arms and shook his head before countering, "The Underground has always been there, and it will always be. I'm just making them useful." Sophie opened her mouth to retort, but he lifted his chin and continued to talk with a slightly louder tone. "The Titans eat us, we eat animals, and the animals eat plants. We humans are no different; we always feed on each other to get what we want and to achieve greatness."
"That doesn't make it right."
He lifted an eyebrow, "I'm not saying it is, but how else is this world going to sustain itself? Tell me, how else are we supposed to get outside these Walls, if not by sacrificing the lives of those Survey Corps kids?" She pulled back in response, remembering the fate of her friends. Asbel approached her again, refusing to let her escape before he continued, "You want to make nice buildings for those in the outer walls, but how can you do that with the limited resources from the Board?"
"There is always a way," she replied.
He ignored her, "No one that achieves anything worthwhile in this world has done that by playing fair, dear. You should know that."
She gently shook her head and placed her hands on the table to support herself. "I've played fair until I met you."
"Have you? If I recall correctly, you used to steal and fight other people in the Underground. Even you have used others to climb up."
"You don't know what you are saying. Down there, it was either life or death," she fumed.
"Survival is a very loose concept. I may not have been born there, but you know that I haven't had it easy either." His unbothered expression and piercing gaze infuriated Sophie. Whenever they fought, she was unable to break his icy presence.
"Don't compare your aristocratic drama to the Underground," she seethed as an attempt to make him recall his past.
He staggered for a moment, and she lifted her chin in satisfaction. The delight of her small win disappeared once Asbel placed himself in front of her with a menacing closeness. She slowly stretched her right hand, trying to reach the golden needle resting on the board.
"Aristocratic drama, you say?" He moved his face closer to her and opened his mouth slightly, showing his teeth before he continued, "You couldn't stand a few days of insults on the surface without going absolutely mental. So much for being an Underground survivor, as you claim." Instead of replying, she kept her eyes fixed on him. She gently used her fingers to bring the needle closer to her palm. "As I said, survival is a very loose concept."
She used his locked attention on her to wrap her fingers around the ornament. Just like in the Underground, she was waiting for that wave of eagerness. She only needed that small instinctive impulse to stick the needle in his throat.
Suddenly, he switched his gaze to her side. She gulped in surprise and quickly attempted to hide the improvised weapon by stretching her hand. He scoffed and bent his neck in response. "Plan your next move very carefully, dear," he whispered in her ear. "We play by different rules here. You won't be able to run away so easily."
She breathed out and placed her fingers around the needle once more. "They can arrest and hang me. I don't care."
"Then you won't be any different from the guy who killed your father, will you?" he said, facing her.
"Don't you dare," she grunted.
"Your dad also stole and killed for you, right? That's what you told me," he countered. "Or perhaps he was doing it for himself, and you were just an excuse. Who knows? We can't really ask him now." He smirked, swinging towards the side of the table.
He gently placed his hand over hers, pressing the sides of her wrist with his fingers. Despite her initial resistance, his words had paralyzed her. In her mind, she screamed for that impulsiveness she had hated and repressed for so long, but she was unable to find it. She slowly released the grip around the needle.
"You are sick," she seethed.
She knew her words wouldn't hurt him. He was too used to blunt remarks and insults, but she couldn't bring herself to violence. If she did, she would be giving him what he wanted and what he expected of her.
"If you disagree with me, you are more than welcome to leave. But I don't think that would be a wise thing to do." He grabbed her hand, moving it away from the table. He continued, "I believe your dad would've been proud that you've made it this far. I bet he wouldn't have cared how many Underground lives you sacrificed for it, as long as you were happy and safe." He grasped the needle from the table and placed it inside his coat. "Don't disappoint him by losing everything now.
She looked away to avoid facing him. He was right; she would lose everything, even her fabricated persona of a talented lady, and all the deaths and suffering would've been for nothing. She would no longer be a praised engineer. There was nothing else, no one else behind that title.
He continued, "Can't you see it? I'm doing this for us because we deserve it. I'm willing to pay the price of those crimes so you can be happy. Isn't that what you want?" he claimed.
She squinted her eyes and grunted, "No. I never asked for this."
He sighed, "I wish there were another way, trust me. But everyone, from the Underground to the King, has followed the same path, whether it was with good or bad intentions. You are not a bad person for doing so, just human."
"It's not right."
"I know, dear. But I don't care how many people you've hurt or stolen from," he said, caressing her cheek. "Do you know why? Why am I willing to do this for us?" he asked. She didn't reply. "Because I love you. Can't you do the same for me?"
Because I love you.
Those words triggered in her the same reaction as always. That little flame in her heart made everything worth it. It was a spark that appeared whenever she was praised, from the boy's compliments in the Underground to the ones of the nobles in Mitras.
She fixed her eyes on his. He was right about something; she would never get anywhere by playing fair. She couldn't resort to violence to escape him. Instead, she had to follow the rules of the surface, and if he had such an easy time lying, so could she.
"Yes, of course. I'm sorry, I can see now that you are doing this for our sake. I think I got carried away. I'm so silly, you know? I guess it's the Underground blood running through my veins," she said with a soft voice accompanied by a smile. She rested her arms over his shoulders, placing her hands on the back of his head to bring him closer to her. "Can you forgive me?" she pleaded, batting her eyes. She had fed on praise and recognition to survive, but so had he.
"Of course, dear." He smiled and pressed his lips against her. His kiss was so quick that she barely had time to mask her disgust. "You seemed too tense. Maybe I can get you a drink?"
"Yes, thank you," she said, slowly tracing his jawline with her fingers. "You must be very tired after your trip, right?"
"Not at all," he whispered.
"Then go get some wine. I'll wait for you in bed." She gently kissed his lips. Asbel gave in, grinning before breaking the contact between them. He left the room with the same calm presence that he had shown entering it.
A second after he had crossed the door, Sophie breathed out. She looked at the reflection in the mirror once more. If she had never been herself in the first place, she could turn into whatever she wanted. Whatever she needed to bring Asbel down, to be free of her hunger for praise and fear of loneliness. But she would have to plan her moves more carefully and be ready to risk everything.
"Everything alright?" said Levi.
Sophie startled, quickly snapping out of her thoughts. She had stopped midway through the staircase. His hand was on her back, acting as both guidance and support. On the way, her mind had reeled through every part of her life that she had shared with Asbel. From the initial devotion and understanding between them, fueled by their need for power, to their ultimate demise. The cold shoulders and lies of her affairs and his business. All the rules they had set up to barely tolerate one another, only because none of them wanted to lose at the game they had started between them.
She blinked several times to come back to reality, "Yes, I just remembered something."
"Don't tell me you left the stove on," he said, rolling his eyes.
"No, no," she smirked. "I...It's not the first time I do this—confronting him, I mean."
"And I assume that it never went as you expected?"
"No," she whispered.
"Then what's different now?" he taunted her.
She paused for a moment before answering, "Back then, I wasn't ready to let go."
"Of him?"
"Of myself," she replied with conviction. She was no longer an engineer or a wife. There was no one else she had to please, no more promises to keep, and nothing to hide. She had no home, no place to belong to, so she could finally do whatever she wanted to. She turned to Levi, shaking her handcuffs. "Take these off," she commanded.
He frowned at her imposing tone, crossing his arms in response. "I told you, I'm not going to do that."
"Do you trust me?" she said, decisively fixing her eyes on him. Levi stared at her, evaluating the situation. He mumbled something she could not understand before pulling the keyring out of his jacket's pocket. He opened the lock of the shackles, and Sophie let them hit the floor with a clattering sound.
She rubbed each of her wrists while Levi advised, "Remember what Hange said; there are no more second chances."
"I know," she replied before resuming her way downstairs, without waiting for him to follow her.
Once they got to the cell, Levi opened the barred door and signaled her to enter. He remained outside, leaning on a wall. He was far enough to leave them a certain sense of privacy but still close enough to watch and listen to their conversation.
As she glided into the cell, Sophie took a deep breath. Asbel sat at the back, with his arms at each side of his body, chained to the wall. The torch hanging from one of the corners was not enough for her to fully visualize his state. However, given the treatment she had suffered during her arrest, she could figure it out.
Without looking at her, Asbel giggled, "I told you. You always come back."
"I just don't like leaving any loose ends," she replied, approaching him. His elegant and polished suit was all smudged and wrinkled, which made Sophie smirk in satisfaction.
He slowly lifted his chin. Despite the darkness of the area, she could still distinguish the iciness of his eyes and his disturbing smile.
"I taught you well," he claimed.
Sophie scoffed and crossed her arms in response. "Don't get cocky now. I'm not the one tied up to a wall."
"As always, you hate hearing the truth. Everything you are is because of me."
"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that bullshit," she said, waving her hand.
"Language, dear," he frowned. "A few hours away from me, and you already talk like one of those hicks?"
"What can I say? I've always been one", she said with a playful tone. "Perhaps you should've known better before marrying me."
He slowly stood up, and the chains jingled with his movements. Sophie instinctively took a step backward and gulped. Despite the conviction in her mind, she still knew that Asbel was a dangerous opponent.
"After everything I've done for you, everything I've given you…" he growled.
Sophie scoffed, recognizing the same pattern in his words. Just as he had said back at her cell, he was playing the wretched husband. Only because he knew Levi was there.
"That little speech worked the first years or so. Come on, you've had more than enough time to come up with a new one."
"Speech? How dare you." He walked towards her as far as his chains allowed him to, tensing them up as he tried to move closer.
"It's just like everything you do, right? All those expensive suits, cigarettes, and parties. Showing off to everyone how great and powerful you were, only to cover up your insecurities." Instead of moving away, she took a step forward. "Tell me, did you ever get tired of lying? Did you ever let your guard down?"
"You tell me," he snorted. "Although you weren't so good at it."
"Good enough to get you in this cell, apparently."
He chuckled, "You accuse me of lying and cheating, and yet here you are, after doing the exact same thing you despise me for."
She stretched her neck, unbothered by his slander. "You always try to make people think that they are just like you."
"We are not so different, Sophie. You hate me because of the same reasons why you hate yourself," he claimed. Instead of talking back, Sophie calmly took another step. Seeing that his words did not affect her, he continued. "You've always wanted to be recognized, just like I did. And yet, you could never understand me."
"I would dare to say that I was the only person inside the Walls that understood you," she noted in response. Their faces were a few steps away, but she did not flinch.
"You might be good at hiding documents, but you've never been good at hiding your feelings." He stopped pulling the chains. He took a deep breath, stretching his back. "Didn't you think that I would notice?"
"Notice what?" she said, lifting an eyebrow.
Asbel slowly turned his head and switched his gaze to Levi, standing on the other side of the bars.
"Him," he said with disgust. Sophie looked at Levi. His grey eyes intersected with hers, but she couldn't read them. Asbel continued, "It's nice that you brought him along. I bet he will be delighted to hear this conversation."
Levi's collected expression didn't seem bothered by Asbel's reference. However, for the first time since she had entered the cell, Sophie felt her heart sink in pain. Not because of Asbel's words but for dragging Levi into her mess. She cleared her throat and looked away from the Captain, reminding herself that there was no one to disappoint. She had to keep going strong, no matter the people involved.
"He just likes a bit of drama," she mocked. "Pretend he's not there."
"Oh, I've been doing that for far too many years," he taunted.
"Excuse me?"
"Quit the dumb act, dear. It might have been good at first, but it wasn't me who ripped us apart." He looked at Levi once more, but Sophie didn't follow him. "You've always been waiting for someone else."
"Now you are just delusional."
"Am I? I knew about those letters you were sending. I thought you would get over him once we got married. You did at first, but it was so evident that he was still on your mind." He paused to read her reaction, but there was none. "Every time I knocked on your door, you wished for him instead. Nothing I did was ever enough because it wasn't him who gave it to you." Sophie could feel the angry spits coming out of his mouth with every word he said. "And you dare to pity me? You dare to call me a liar?"
She stretched her hand to release the tension that had arisen from his words. "Yes."
"Then you are way worse than I could ever be."
She paused for a moment, feeling her heartbeat race in anger. She visualized the goal of her visit, to calm down before replying.
"Don't turn this into a competition, Asbel. You stand to lose right now."
He grunted, "Watch me. You still have more to lose than I do." He pulled the chains once more. Sophie startled at first but grinned in satisfaction from seeing him losing his composure. He continued, "He never did anything for you. I gave you everything you wanted. I made you everything you are. You owe me."
"I don't owe you shit," she hissed in response. "I was the one working day and night on those damn blueprints and reports. You just acted as the little delivery boy."
"Your mediocre work wouldn't have been enough for the level of success you aspired to, and you know it. That's why you did everything I asked you to. You have nothing else." He paused before adding, "He would've never helped you the way I did."
"I was only playing by your rules." The clearness and menace in her voice increased, "If I am such a wicked woman, you could've gotten rid of me at any point. You definitely had the tools for that, but you didn't because you've always depended on others for your success."
"And didn't you?" he retorted. "You had everyone on your feet, playing that lonely woman with the devilish husband to get what you wanted, screwing around to hurt me even though I never hurt you." He paused and grinned, threateningly showing his teeth. "You must have been quite the sweetheart to him if he is your puppet now."
Sophie smiled, "Oh, I'm always a sweetheart, you know that."
"I bet that's the only reason why you are not chained to a wall like I am," he countered.
"Or maybe I was just better than you at this game," she sighed, waving her hand. She took another step. She was getting dangerously close, and she could feel Levi tensing up on the other side of the barred fence. "Stop blaming your mistakes on others. The reason why you are chained up to that wall is not me, nor the pocket-sized soldier over there. It's yourself." She pronounced each word with a conviction previously unknown to him. She concluded, "Face it, you've lost."
His breathing got heavier as he shouted, "You think you are so smart now, huh? Everyone will see that you are nothing, Sophie" He forcibly tried to approach her once more. She swiftly leaned back, avoiding his menacing closeness. "He will get tired of you just like the others did, and the Government will see that you were never talented. You will always be alone," he spat.
She was ready to leave the scene without giving him the satisfaction of a reply. Every time she had tried to end their fights by answering back, he would always have the last word, delivering a killing blow that she was unable to counter. She recalled Levi's words. What's different now?
Suddenly, she grabbed the neckline of his shirt, twisting it around his neck. He gasped at her sudden strength, pulling him towards her as far as the chains allowed. Levi shouted something from the other side, but she did not listen. She was too focused on the scared blue eyes of the person who had tortured her for so long.
"You could've been a good man, did you know that? If only you weren't so scared of a woman who was better than you in every way." She leaned closer to his ear and whispered, "Your mother would be so disappointed."
She opened her fist, and Asbel fell to the floor like a puppet with no strings. Levi entered the room. He tried to call her name, but Asbel's voice took over.
"You b—"
"I'm done!" She lifted her arms to signal her release, ignoring the sight of his wretched husband and the curses he shouted at her. Levi tried to grab her arm to escort her out. She slid away from him and left the room on her own.
Finally, she had followed her own path without anyone else's inputs or expectations.