Chapter 4: Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me
Peeta POV:
Impossible… This is impossible. This must be a dream, a foolish man's fantasy. But the feel of Katniss's lips is real. She is here, in my house, pressing her lips against mine. I feel like lightning is coursing through my veins. As the shock fades so does my restraint.
Placing one hand under her thigh and the other in her hair I pull her into my lap and press my lips more firmly against hers. She gasps against my lips giving me purchase to push my tongue into her mouth. Her taste is intoxicating. I groan as I feel Katniss pull me closer. Without separating from her lips, I lift her and gently lay her down on the plush carpet.
I pull away breathless. I lean back onto my knees with Katniss's legs open around me. She presents a bewitching sight. Her hair is spilling out of her braid. The movement of her heaving breasts as she breaths is making my vision hazy. Her lips are slightly swollen, and her cheeks are flushed.
The burning heat between us grows. I take my shirt off watching as her pupils dilate at the sight. I smile as she bites her lips and looks away. Slowly, I run my hands along Katniss's legs. She shivers underneath my touch. Leaning forward I begin to place kisses on her exposed neck and collarbone. As I kiss her, I push my hardness into her stomach. Katniss pulls me closer, her fingernails digging into my shoulders. Katniss then brings her lips to mine.
We are kissing again. I explore her mouth with a slow pace savoring each moment. We stay wrapped up in each other for a few more fleeting moments before we are interrupted by a loud knocking on my door. Reluctantly, I detangle myself from Katniss and put my shirt back on. I take Katniss's hand and help her stand. Then I walk to the door, silently cursing the intruder. I open the door and am surprised to see Katniss's mother. She looks worried.
Before I can ask her any questions she states, "Katniss… I can't find her!" Her panicked voice gets higher as she continues, "Her shoes and bow are still in her room, I don't know where she could have gone!" My mind clears as I see Mrs. Everdeen tremble in fear. I place my hands on her shoulders in an attempt to calm her down.
"It's okay, Katniss is here, just inside," I inform. Her mother's eyes lose the panicked fear and become clouded with confusion. I feel myself blush and look away. Embarrassed, I lead her to my living room where Katniss is sitting.
The whole situation is awkward. Katniss is profusely blushing in her chair, and her mother seems to be stunned speechless. Unable to bear the silence, I turn to Mrs. Everdeen and ask, "Would you like some tea?"
She shakes her head in response and turns to Katniss. "Um…Prim was looking for you," she murmurs. Instantly, Katniss's expression changes to one of worry.
"Why? What's wrong? Is she okay?" Katniss fires off.
"She had a nightmare," replies her mother.
Katniss nods, quickly waves me goodbye, and rushes out the door. Her mother turns to me, "Sorry for disturbing you… I'll go now." I awkwardly nod and close the door behind her. What a weird situation.
I look at the time, it is the early morning hours. There is no need to try and sleep now. I walk into my kitchen. I might as well start baking. Even though I no longer work at the bakery, nor do I need to bake I find the practice relaxing. Baking makes me feel like myself.
I pull out the flour and various other ingredients from the pantry. As I carefully measure and sift the ingredients I think about my family. They are still living in that small apartment above the bakery. A part of me wishes that they had agreed to come join me here, the house is big enough for all of us. I have a flashback of the day I moved my small number of possessions to this large house.
Both of our families had been at the train station for our return. Katniss had jumped out of the train before me and had already pulled Prim into a hug by the time I got out. It had only been a few hours since her true feelings had been revealed to me, so my mood had been dark. I remember now that Katniss's family and the Hawthorns had been standing right in the middle of things, wanting to talk to her, comfort her, be close to her. Whereas my family stood some distance away.
As I was about to make my way towards them something held my hand. Prim's soft delicate hand pulled me. She seemed so small and delicate; I was again surprised that her features so contrasted Katniss's. Prim gave me a hug and whispered into my ear, "Thank you."
I couldn't help but smile at her in return. Katniss stood next to me. "Prim, do you know that Peeta is the one who usually ices the cakes at the bakery?" she says playfully.
"Really?" Prim questions with a sparkle in her eyes. I nod in reply. Katniss then pulls Prim to her and starts telling her about that strange conversation in which I told her about the different breads from the different districts. Feeling a dull ache rise in the pit of my stomach I move awkwardly towards my family.
Thinking about it now, I feel sad with the realization that although Katniss had been greeted warmly by her family, mine was cold and distant. We had stood staring at each other for quite some time before my father had finally stepped forward and gave me a hug. I don't remember the conversation that had followed on our walk to the bakery, but I remember that it had been a mundane conversation with my father doing most of the talking.
It had been so strange, like I was an outsider in my own family. And I guess I am. The games had changed me, not a profound change in my character, but there was some difference in my soul. A few hours with my family had made it clear that their dynamic no longer had space for me. I had suggested that they move in with me and my mother's swift reply had quelled that idea, "It would be more difficult to run the bakery from Victors Village."
I feel my eyes sting. My mother's nature has always been rough, but now she is cold and distant. My brothers, Rye and Bannock rarely meet my eye, choosing to focus on some point behind me when forced to speak with me. My father is the only one who tries to keep our connection alive. I feel resentment, isn't it enough that I have suffered so much from the games? Must I lose my family too?