Author's note: Okay, when I started this, I didn't intend for it to be smut. But the muse wants what it wants. So accidental smut? Speculation fic for 4.05-4.06? So spoilers for 4.03 and 4.04. Read at your own risk.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Second Chances

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

Killian kept his eyes trained on the grubby floor, too ashamed to meet her eyes. He felt absolutely wretched, unworthy to even be breathing the same air as her. He'd caused her pain and that was the last thing he'd ever wanted to do.

"Eventually. Was waiting for the right time, I suppose," he mumbled. But when was the right time to tell the one you love that you'd gone to your mortal enemy for help?

The lock to the cell clicked open, and Killian looked up, surprised. When she'd clapped him in the cell, he'd expected her to just leave him there. It was what he deserved after his display with the Dark One and that Will Scarlet earlier. What in the bloody hell had he been thinking?

Emma dragged the hard metal chair over to him, sitting in front of him. She didn't know what to think. Part of her understood, but the way he'd acted...she thought they were past this. But this...whatever it was going on between them...was still fragile. And everyone made mistakes. She was living proof of that. She owed to them to at least hear him out.

"Why don't you start at the beginning?" She didn't touch him, even though she wanted to. She needed the truth first.

Killian scrubbed his hand—his left hand—over his face. His usually bright blue eyes were dull and sad; it made her heart hurt. "It started that day Elsa and I went in search for the Snow Queen."

"Let me guess, you went to Gold to see if he would help."

"Aye. I've known him too long and the way he just dismissed your life when you were freezing...I hate him, Emma. I probably always will. Anyway, I knew there was no way he'd let anyone have control over him. Especially not after what happened with the Wicked Witch."

"You thought he had the dagger?"

Killian nodded. "And I was right. I am right. He put us on the bloody Snow Queen's trail after I threatened to have his naive little wife test the dagger she possessed."

Emma shook her head. "I wish I was surprised. But I'm not. That guy's a piece of work."

Killian looked away, shame washing over him again. He wasn't exactly a saint here. "After you agreed to our date...I went back to him. I know how important this town is to you, love. And I wanted to fit in. To be just like everyone else, a man taking his lady out for a nice quiet meal, no magic. No hooks." He spat out that last bit, casting a bitter glance at his returned hand. If only he hadn't been so bloody selfish.

Emma's face softened. "You went to Gold to get your hand back for me?"

That fact that she was surprised cut through him like a knife. Didn't she know by now that everything he did was for her? "I thought you'd want me to be normal. That you wouldn't want people staring at you, wondering why you were with a broken down old pirate."

"Oh Killian." She touched him at last, her small hands covering his cursed appendage. "You know I've never cared about this, right? Never. I like you just the way you are."

It was the closest she's ever come to saying how she felt about him. He tried to hold on to the moment, to the hope that bloomed in his chest. "I'm so sorry, love. I never meant for any of this to happen."

"I know. We'll get it sorted out in the morning."

"I'm going to have to stay here tonight, aren't I?"

Emma smiled sadly. "It wouldn't say much for my sheriffing skills if I let you go before morning."

"I understand." He was trying so hard to be a good man, to capture something of the idealistic man he'd been, but it was sometimes harder than he thought. Case in bloody point. "You should go. Your family's probably worried about you."

Emma leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I'll be back early. I promise. Try to get some sleep, okay?"

"Can one really sleep on such a contraption?" Killian quipped, his hand pressing on the lumpy thin mattress.

"I managed it."

"You?"

"Long story. I tell it to you tomorrow." She gave his hand one final squeeze and got up. She locked the cell behind her, her eyes sympathetic. "Good night, Killian."

"Night, Swan."

A few minutes later he was plunged in darkness. Killian kicked at the metal chair in frustration, angry at himself more than anything else. Although the Dark One wasn't high on his list of favorite people. He should be at Granny's saying a proper good night to Emma, not here in this cell. But he'd made his bed and now he was going to have to lie in it. At least she wasn't breaking off their liaison. That was what he'd expected to happen. But for some reason, his Swan was giving him another chance.

This time he wouldn't squander it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Emma asked. "There has to be another way."

Killian shook his head. "Take it off. I don't want it. Not if that bloody wanker did something to it."

Emma huffed, annoyed and frustrated. "It's not fair. He's the one who took your hand in the first place!"

"We can't make the Dark One do anything he doesn't want, love. You know that as well as I."

"Maybe I could..."

Killian shook his head, touched that she would even offer. "I have complete faith in you, Swan. I do. But I won't take the risk of...whatever he did rebounding on you. Safer to just take the blood thing off."

Emma searched his eyes, looking for any doubt that this was what he wanted. She didn't care about his hook. She never had. She never even thought of him as anything less than whole; the hook was just another part of him. But when he'd shown up at their date with two hands, she'd been touched. It was one of the most profound things anyone had ever done for her. Second only to this same man giving up his ship, his home to get her back to hers.

She wasn't worthy of such devotion, yet here he was, doing whatever he could to be worthy in her eyes. Even if that meant maiming himself once again to make sure she and the people she loved were safe. That's when Emma knew she loved him. Loved him so much it scared the shit out of her. Which was why she didn't tell him. But she hoped he could see it in her eyes all the same.

"Is there...I don't know...anything you want to do before we do this?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Something you can only do with two hands?" God, that sounded lame even to her own ears.

Killian smiled, his eyes brightening for the first time since she'd had to put him in the cell. "Actually, there is one thing I've dreamt about doing."

"What's that?"

"This." He reached up and cradled her face in his hands. His skin was rough and warm on hers and Emma melted into it, her eyes fluttering shut. This would be their only chance to experience this, she wanted to savor it. She wasn't surprised when his lips slanted over hers, kissing her softly. Like with every kiss they'd shared, warmth flooded her, her skin tingled and sparked. She knew she should pull away, but she couldn't. Emma threaded her fingers through his dark hair, moaning softly as she pulled him closer.

"Emma..." Killian whispered, his breathing labored and ragged.

"Just kiss me. Please." He heeded her, deepening their kiss, tongue slipping into her mouth. His hands slid down along her neck, over her collar, smoothing over the front of her shirt. This was getting wildly out of control, they should wait, take their time, but Emma was tired of waiting. Tired of being afraid. Desire thrummed through her, his hands on her body making her shiver.

"Gods, you feel..." Killian mumbled, his lips skimming along her jaw.

"So do you."

"Tell me to stop, love," he pleaded. "Tell me to stop and I will. But I want you so much." His hands cupped her aching breasts and Emma arched into his touch.

Emma shook her head. "I want you too, Killian."

"Right here?"

"We might not get another chance. Not for a while." She slid her hand between them and palmed the bulge in his pants, making him groan and roll his hips into her. "Please?"

"As you wish." He pushed her up against the wall of the cell, mouth hot and demanding on hers. Emma gave into it eagerly, thrilled that they were finally giving in. It was so exhausting keeping her attraction to him at bay; he was by far the most attractive man she'd ever seen and she hadn't even seen him naked yet. And wouldn't this time either, since they had little time and were right there in the middle of the sheriff's station.

She fumbled with his belt as he pulled on the buttons of her blouse, the fabric parting under his rough hands. She bit her lip as he pulled her breasts free of the cups of her bra, his blue eyes blown wide with lust as he drank her in. "You are so beautiful."

"Oh god," Emma mewled, thrusting her breasts into his hands. It felt like she was on fire, wave after wave of desire rolling through her. She gasped when he took one nipple into his mouth, suckling it eagerly, teasing her with lips and tongue.

Emma yanked his belt free finally and loosened his pants, smiling in triumph when she could finally wrap her hand around his cock. He was bigger than she expected, hot and velvety smooth under her touch.

"Bloody hell," Killian breathed. "I've waited so long for this." He thrust into her hand, eyes rolling back into his head.

"We need to hurry," she reminded him. She didn't want to; she wished they could find a bed somewhere and truly explore each other, but this would have to do. She stroked him while he yanked on her pants, trying desperately to get to where she was aching for him. Emma whined when she had to let him go, needing to remove her boots and pants the rest of the way. As soon as she was upright, Emma hooked her leg around Killian's hip and he lifted her up, her back hitting the wall.

"Last chance, darling," Killian bit out. His voice was pained, as he waited to make absolutely sure she wanted this.

"God, just do it," she said, her heat rocking over his hard flesh. He covered her mouth with his as he slid home, burying himself to the hilt. His kiss swallowed her sharp cry as he filled her to the brim, stretching her in the most delicious of ways. They hardly had a chance to breathe before he was fucking her in earnest, his thrusts hard and a little sloppy. But it had been a while for both of them, and they didn't have time to go slow anyway.

"Feels so good wrapped around me, love. Fuck." Emma clawed at his clothed back, as Killian pulled her other leg up to wrap around his waist. He held her up as if she weighed nothing, fingers digging into her flesh, his cock slipping even deeper inside her. He hit that spot that made her shudder and she cried out, far louder than she should.

"God, right there," she gasped. "Don't stop."

"I need you to come for me, lass. I need to feel you."

Emma unceremoniously shoved her hand between them and brushed her middle finger over her throbbing clit. She buried her head in Killian's shoulder as her orgasm overtook her trying to muffle her ecstatic cry. Killian whispered her name hoarsely moments later as he pulsed inside her, his hips going still as he came hard.

The only sound in the station was their heavy breathing. Part of her couldn't believe that had just done that, but the rest of her was too blissed out to care. Finally, finally, she knew what it was like to be with him and he had not disappointed her. If their hurried love making was this good, she could only imagine how it would be when they had the luxury of time.

"Can you stand?" Killian said softly, kissing her neck.

"Yeah, I think so." Gently, she lowered her legs, Killian keeping a hold on her should she wobble. "Thanks."

"It is I who should be thanking you, love."

Emma cocked her head at him, reaching up to thumb the scar on his cheek. "I know we didn't plan that, but I'm not going to regret it tomorrow, if that's what you're worried about."

Killian shook his head, bringing both hands to her cheeks once more. "You've given me a second chance, Swan. That's what I was thanking you for."

"Oh." She closed her eyes as he kissed her one last time, before letting them right their clothing. Once they were decent again, she took his hand. "Do you still want to do this?"

Killian looked at his hand wistfully. "Aye. I won't risk any of you again."

"Okay." Emma led him out of the cell, making a mental note to erase the beta tape before her father saw it. She didn't want him to kill her pirate. Killian's hook hung in her office, on the coat stand next to Graham's jacket. "Ready?"

"Not especially, but best to get it over with." He sat in the chair in front of her desk and rolled up his sleeve. Emma could see the marks on his skin from where he'd tried to cut it off himself, and she got angry at Gold all over again. One of these days karma would smack the pawnbroker in the face and Emma would enjoy it, even if he was her son's grandfather. He could be a real bastard most of the time.

She laid her hands on Killian's arm, above and below the sever point. She closed her eyes and focused on the spell Gold had given her and prayed she did it correctly. She couldn't stand it if she hurt Killian more than he already was. The dark magic in the hand pushed back at her, but she fought it, brow furrowing until there was a flash and the hand came free.

"You did it," Killian said softly, but not with all of his usual pride. She couldn't blame him, not with what she was taking from him. Emma laid the hand aside and cradled his arm.

"How do you feel?"

"Better." Emma frowned. "Really, love. I swear."

"If you're sure..."

"Hand me my hook?" Emma got up and brought his brace to him. She watched as he strapped it on, and she realized with a start that she'd never seen him do that before. "See? Good as new." He brushed some her hair back with it, the gesture sweet and familiar. "Don't worry about me, Swan. I've lived with this for a long time. It's okay."

She smiled, hoping to lighten the mood. Her fingers curled around the metal. "You know...the hook's kinda sexy."

He cocked a brow at her. "Is it now? Perhaps we'll get to try it out soon."

Emma phone buzzed and she sighed. "Raincheck?"

He looked adorably puzzled for a moment then nodded. "Definitely."