Chapter 6 – Oh the confusion

Santana…

She stared at the laundry basket that was nearly bursting at the seams. She had waited for way too long but if there was one thing she hated the most of all the tasks at home, then it was hanging up the wet laundry. It was cold and heavy and the clothesline outside just few inches too high for her to do it comfortably.

She sighed when she grabbed the first pair of Tony's pants. He totally could have done it himself. He was old enough. But if she didn't do it then he'd forget until he'd have nothing to wear one day.

Maybe that was exactly what needed to happen in order for him to realize that Santana wasn't going to keep doing everything for him for the rest of his life. Then she grabbed one of her dad's shirts and rolled her eyes. Who was she kidding… her dad never learned it so why would Tony think it was necessary?

A deep sigh escaped her lungs when she decided to think about it another day and just get it over with. It was a Saturday afternoon after all. Her shift at the bar had been switched to another day next week which meant she finally had an afternoon just for herself. Iker had a sleepover at his best friend's house, Tony was going to play his computer games for the next fourteen hours and her dad was at a job.

Thank God… she had no idea how they were supposed to pay for the electricity bill otherwise.

She wished she had something to make hanging up the laundry a little less boring though. A radio would have been great to take outside. Or just company… but Quinn was at Jake's place as she was going to tell him about the baby today.

Santana hoped that everything was going to be alright. The way she knew Jake, he was going to be there for her. He was a good guy despite what others might have said about him. He adored Quinn… and mostly he cared about her.

Santana couldn't help but sometimes envy Quinn for what she had. Not just the clothes and stuff she got from her parents but also the fact that there was someone she could go to whenever she felt lonely. It must have felt pretty good to have someone put their arm around your shoulder and receive a kiss to your cheek.

It wasn't like Santana couldn't have had it… just last week a guy from the football team asked if she wanted to go see a movie with him. He was a senior and while the idea of going out with a senior intrigued her, it just felt wrong to say yes because she didn't feel anything when he gave her that cocky grin. The thought of spending an evening with that guy didn't make her feel excited. It was more like... meh.

Santana was halfway through the laundry when she heard the noise of tires on gravel coming to a halt near the house. She turned around and was surprised to find Brittany jumping out of her old truck.

She had only been here once when she dropped Santana off that day they found out about Quinn's pregnancy. Santana quickly glanced down her own body. She was wearing her oldest pair of jeans and a shirt that was way too loose and kept falling down her left shoulder but those were the only clothes left in her closet since everything was in the laundry basket.

The worst thing though was the fact that she was wearing that silly old bandana because she hadn't found the time to wash her hair in the morning. She hated the idea that someone would see her like this. She had no idea a friend was coming over…

Brittany made her way over with her hands in the pockets of her jeans, her leather backpack on her shoulder and something that looked like a reproachful smile on her face.

Santana couldn't help but chuckle while she crossed her arms in front of her chest. She kind of had an idea why Brittany was here… yesterday she sort of made a scene by the bleachers and while Santana thought that Brittany was overreacting a little, she also felt bad and kept thinking about it till late at night. She didn't like seeing her upset.

"Hey" Brittany greeted her when she stopped in front of Santana, a certain safety distance between them. "Is Quinn not here?"

Santana looked around and then pretended to check out the laundry basket for their friend.

"Nope. Not in here, either. What are you doing here?"

Brittany laughed at Santana's move and shook her head.

"I was hoping I'd find both of you. I want to apologize… I'm sorry I stormed off yesterday after telling you those things. It was… unnecessary and frankly I'm not sure why I did that."

Santana narrowed her eyes when she checked out the blonde in front of her.

"I'm sorry, too. Quinn and I shouldn't have surprised you like that. So you're really not into Blaine?" She wondered. Brittany almost immediately shook her head.

"No. And I know you guys just wanted to make sure I'm not getting my hopes up. All I wanted was to make some friends when school started and when it finally happens, I push you away."

Santana was surprised to sense something like vibrations around her chest. She liked the fact that Brittany came here in order to apologize. When she wasn't actually mad at her…

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Besides... you kind of had a point about what you said." Santana admitted.

"Well... I'll go look for Quinn afterwards. I'd love to have lunch again with you guys next week. In case you'll still have me of course…"

Santana watched how Brittany gently kicked some pebbles away, her eyes directed to the ground.

She took a breath before she reached into the laundry basket to take two pieces of clothing out. She threw one at Brittany who caught it in surprise.

"Apology accepted, Miss Pierce. I guess you're still new to this whole friends-thing…" She said when she went back to hanging up laundry.

From the corner of her eye she saw how Brittany dropped her backpack and approached the other side of the clotheslines. She didn't need to step on her toes like Santana did in order to hang up Iker's hoodie.

Santana cleared her throat when she noticed that there were still quite a lot of clothes waiting.

"You don't have to go look for Quinn by the way… she's at Jake's and wants to tell him about the pregnancy. It'll take a while, I guess. Quinn has probably already forgotten about yesterday. She hardly takes anything personal anyway."

Their eyes met for a split second between some sheets.

"Ok" Brittany said in response while reaching into the basket without looking. When Santana realized what she had pulled out, her eyes widened.

She hurried over and took the lace bra from Brittany's hands right at the same time that the blonde's eyes landed on the piece of fabric. Santana quickly hid it behind her back.

She had just gotten it the other day because she figured that saving for Iker's bed was going to take ages.

When she found herself close to Brittany, her hands behind her back and the blonde wiggling her eyebrows, Santana felt her throat becoming dry. She was embarrassed but also kind of flustered.

She wanted to make a joke. Anything.

Instead she wordlessly stepped back and hung up the bra herself. Far away from Brittany.

They finished the laundry in silence after that and when Santana prepared them a glass of iced tea later on, she had almost forgotten about it. They drank the beverage on the small front porch while casually talking about homework. Santana had already finished hers. She always did it as fast as she could because she knew she wouldn't find the time on the weekends.

Even though Brittany was a senior and therefore had other math problems to solve than Santana, she knew what Brittany was talking about. Math was easy to her… she actually liked it. She could tell by the way Brittany tentatively used her words, that she had no idea how to do it.

"I tell you what… if you could help me with abuela's bed today, then I'll help you with your homework. It'll be done in no time." Santana suggested when they finished their drinks.

Brittany's face lit up at that.

"You'll do my homework?" She asked hopefully.

"Uh – no. I'll help you, so it gets into your head. It's not that difficult actually when you're open to it. You need to clear your head before you do homework. You know, not think of anything else. Just make space for the numbers and everything."

Santana walked next to Brittany when they approached the old truck.

"Well, right now I still have your racy underwear in my head so that'll be difficult." Brittany responded in a cocky way when she opened the door to jump inside. Santana almost stumbled over her own feet when she went to the other side. With a huff she climbed into the passenger seat, avoiding Brittany's glance and laughter.

"You're just jealous because I can actually wear one of those", Santana tried to save the situation. She crossed her arms in front of her chest when Brittany drove off.

"Are you kidding? Bras are way too uncomfortable." Brittany countered nonchalantly. "I never wear one, they make me feel like something's suffocating me. I mean, I know why women wear them, they're obviously nice to look at…"

Santana once again didn't know how to respond to that. She didn't know what made her feel more awkward. The fact that Brittany wasn't wearing any bra or the fact that she thought they were nice to look at.

"Yeah well, my abuela's bed is probably very heavy so I suggest we ask her neighbor to help us put it into your truck." She babbled instead when they drove down the road to abuela's house. "Tony can help us once we get back, he… he's pretty strong for the fact that he looks like a bean pole. He's got an appetite like a grizzly. I don't know where he puts it."

From the corner of her eye she saw how Brittany nodded and then changed the station on the radio. They listened in silence to the song that was playing. Santana was thankful for the music. It made her silly nervousness go away within seconds.

/

Together with abuela and the neighbor's help they managed to put the bed and the mattress in the back of Brittany's truck. They drove back extra slowly and it took them forever to carry everything up to Santana's room.

Once they were done it was already getting dark outside. Santana could tell that Brittany wasn't up to do that homework anymore.

Instead she invited the blonde for dinner to say thanks for all the stuff she had helped her with that day. Brittany gladly accepted and so they sat down at the dinner table together with Tony after Santana had prepared them some leftovers.

They listened to her brother bragging about a new level he had accomplished in his computer game and completely forgot about time when it was just the two of them later on. Only when Santana's dad tiredly came home from the job, Brittany politely said goodnight to them and thanked Santana for dinner.

Later Santana took the time to prepare Iker's new bed for when he'd come back from his sleepover in the morning. She was happy to know that she now had her own bed back to herself. She really needed the space… she would have given a lot for an own room but her dad had decided that Tony got the spare room because Tony and Iker fought like idiots sometimes (biting included).

At least she had tonight just for herself. She loved the nights that Iker spent at his friend's house.

She fell into bed close to midnight, her back hurting from carrying the mattress. Her whole body was sore… her arms were sore from hanging up the wet laundry and her feet hurt from standing up all day long.

Somehow there was also a pain in her stomach. When she really focused on it, she realized that it came from a spot a little lower and it wasn't actually pain. It was more like an ache… she closed her eyes when she guided her hand between her legs to feel the ache and if it went away by pressing against it.

It wasn't the first time she did that… but the first time she thought of something. When she was younger she did it to get rid of the tension that was luring in her lower body. Tonight she did it because her head kept spinning and it was definitely connected to the sensation in her stomach, her chest and the mental picture of when they were hanging up the laundry.

Santana breathed heavily. She hid her face in the crook of her elbow but no matter how hard she pressed her eyelids together, she couldn't see anything else. She wanted to go back to seeing nothing but the way blue eyes found hers between the sheets, for just one second… loaded with words she couldn't even speak in her thoughts.

She imagined how she was wearing that bra and how the same eyes wandered over her body.

It was too much. Santana started shaking when she pressed her thighs together, flashes of blue and blonde in front of her inner eye. She muffled her sighs with her wrist and quickly hid under the sheets when it was over.

She was embarrassed even though it was just herself. The darkness of the blanket over her face calmed her breaths eventually. She shook her head because it didn't make sense. Her limbs were relaxed but her chest felt tight.

It used to make her fall asleep easier. Tonight it made her feel utterly confused.