9:35 Dragon - Two years before the Mage-Templar War begins
Lily turned away from Kena's cell. Another mage succumbed and the two women had been unable to do anything but stare at the walls, pretending they weren't hearing the all too familiar sounds of possession and the gleeful raucous of the Templar's blades against flesh. How long had it been? A few years now?
Lily clutched her journal, a small boon she had been permitted by Knight Captain Brynn. He had taken pity on her. He seemed like a good man.
"There are good men here, good Templars," Lily told herself.
And of course, the rotten ones who seemed to enjoy their job a little too much. But Lily shook the thought away.
Templars are here to protect us, keep us safe.
She gripped her journal, scribbling desperately into it.
"I'll speak to my superiors… that's what he said," she muttered to herself.
A weak laugh emanated from the cell next to her. Kena coughed, a loud wracking fit that sounded as if her lungs were about to come out. She'd been coughing for the past month now. They rarely talked anymore. Why would they? They barely knew each other after all, the only tie between them being Jowan.
Jowan!
The memories of her lover flit into her thoughts like an unwelcome fly. She bit her tongue and forced his face out of her mind. Curse him! For lying, for being a fool. Tears welled in her eyes, No, how could she think that? She loved him, and he loved her. If only she could have saved him.
Yet now, in a place where the veil was so thin, the differences between mage and initiate were never more apparent.
The templars had stopped giving Amell food days ago. Lily flipped to her journal notes… yes. Three days ago. Was it another test? Lily was sure of it. She was sure she could name the types of demons associated with each test. Desire, forcing her to enter the fade. Despair, leaving her in darkness. There was even a month when they had sent a different Templar each day to taunt her. Lily guessed they were tempting a demon of rage.
But Kena persisted.
And now… hunger. Lily was certain of it. Jowan's friend had passed all the tests so far, though each time she seemed less than she was. It was only a matter of time before she succumbed, before she gave the Templars the excuse they needed to run her through.
"You really think he'll speak to anyone about letting you out?" Kena's voice floated through the small space separating their cells. Lily could hear the woman pounding her chest, attempting to loosen the mucus from her infected lungs, "They'll never let you out. What did that templar call you last week?" Kena chuckled, "Right, Mage fucker."
"Shut up," Lily retorted, "I wasn't talking to you."
She couldn't quite remember when Kena had become so bitter. She was nice enough before, or at least she seemed so. In truth she had barely known the woman before Jowan had introduced them, but he'd always said she was a great friend.
"Sorry," the mage coughed again, slight regret in her voice, "I'm just so… tired."
Lily pursed her lips and pulled a small sliver of bread from her sleeve, "Have this," she peeked through the small opening and tossed it through, "quickly, before a guard sees."
Kena grabbed the bread off the dirty ground, swallowing up the morsel like a hungry dog. She looked ghastly, hunched over like a blighted ghoul, clutching at her stomach.
"Thanks," she croaked.
Lily returned to her bed, resuming her writings. Her thoughts seemed so hard to focus these days, but writing them down helped.
I'll get out of here someday. I pray to the Maker will make it so...
The doors down the hall clanged open, the clink of armor pounding down the hall.
Kena scuttled back to the furthest corner of her cell, and Lily hid her journal under a pillow. It wasn't a secret, but she couldn't help but be worried her words would be taken from her. The thought alone made her heart race. Her words were all she had left, and she couldn't bear to lose them.
The templars approached her cell first, the smell of fresh stew and warm bread wafting in after them.
"Knight Captain Brynn says you can go for a walk if you'd like but be back soon," the Templar was holding trays of food, and the other one unlocked her cell.
Lily rose cautiously, dusting off her robes.
She didn't look back as she left, but she could hear them approach Kena's cell next.
"Mage, care to watch us have lunch?" One of the templars crooned, Gustav, the mean one.
Kena glared at him, another test! She thought, when will it end? She looked away as the Templars feasted before her.
"You want some?" Gustav teased, waving a loaf of bread through the cell bars. He ripped it in half, filling the room with the smell of fresh food.
Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it…
"No," Kena spat back, turning away.
The hunger pains were suddenly unbearable, and her stomach betrayed her, gurgling loud enough for the Templars to hear.
"So, you ARE hungry!" Gustav yelled, laughing so loudly Kena covered her ears, "just give in, and we can end it for you!" He nudged the Templar near him, "How long has it been?"
"Five years?" the younger Templar, Harud, said. At least that's what Kena thought his name was. He looked at Kena, making brief eye contact before quickly looking away and picking at his lunch.
Gustav shrugged, finishing up his stew. Kena stared at a dark spot on the floor. If she could zone out, it would pass, all tests passed.
Flowers, fresh linens, rain.
She loved the rain.
There was one time at Kinloch Hold that it had rained for five days straight. She had slipped away from her studies to sit by the big bay windows in the library. The Templar, Cullen, had looked the other way when she leaned out far enough to get her hair wet. The smell of rain and grass filled her nose, cold droplets drenching her face.
The First Enchanter had happened by and pulled her back in, scolding her for tempting the wrath of the Templars.
"They'll think you're trying to escape!" he hissed.
"I wasn't! I'd never!" she'd whispered back.
I should have.
Gustav banged the tray on the cell bars, drawing Kena back to reality.
"I think she's losing her mind," he scoffed, shaking his head. He resumed licking his plate clean and then stood up, gesturing for Harud to follow.
"Have a good night, weirdo," he spat, throwing half a loaf at Kena, "Knight Captain says we have to start feeding you again.
Kena tried to resist the urge but couldn't. Before she knew what she was doing, she felt herself scurrying across the cell floor and forcing down the bread so fast she began to cough again.
Gustav laughed, "Animals."
Kena's face burned in anger, but she couldn't stop eating. Tears threatened to blur her vision. Why was she so pathetic? She punched herself in the temples to stop the tears.
Stop, stop being such a weak little bitch!
She could sometimes feel the pressure of demons pushing against her consciousness as she slept, whispered promises of vengeance and the strength she needed to tear that smug grin off Gustav's face.
Never.
She'd never let anyone, anything, have control over her ever again. She would get out, someday, and she'd rain hell on all those who had tormented her.
By herself.
And if she didn't? She'd rather die and come back as a ghost. Maybe she could become a spirit of vengeance, was that even possible? She struggled to remember her lessons.
She looked at her hands, empty, the bread had gone so quickly down her stomach she wondered if it had even been there at all.
Her stomach churned at the sudden intake of food causing her to double over in pain. She curled up, trying to let the cramps pass.
"Here."
It was Harud, Kena looked at him, he was alone and holding a flask toward her through the bars.
Kena looked away, not another test.
"It's not a test," he whispered, as if reading her mind. "just... drink it."
"What is it?" Kena sat up, the cramps gripping her insides.
"Honey water. It'll give you energy, calm your stomach."
Kena reached for it, half expecting him to snatch it away, but he didn't.
Sniffing it, Kena took a small sip, the sweet liquid cooling her tongue, she gulped the rest.
"Slow down."
Kena stopped, "Thank you," she mumbled and handed the flask back. Harud attached it to his belt and awkwardly lingered by the cell doors, "They forced me, I didn't want to do that, the dinner. I'm sorry."
She looked away, laying back down on the cell floor, "No one can force you to do anything you don't want."
Harud was silent, "You mages aren't the only ones held prisoner you know."
With that, he turned and walked away. Kena rolled her eyes, her empathy for Templars having long died.
Lyrium addiction was nothing like being held prisoner over magic. She couldn't stop her magic, but Templars could kick their pathetic addictions if they truly wanted to.
Maybe theyneeded some tests.
Harud reminded her of some of the nicer Templars at the Ferelden Circle, but when it came down to it, they were all the same. Either committing atrocities against the mages, or complicit.
After her Harrowing, Cullen told her to speak with him whenever she'd like. He would shout her praises to anyone who would listen and permit her to get away with small freedoms every now and again. The other apprentices would tease her, spreading rumors of the Templar's infatuation through the hall.
She had felt the same for him, at the time.
Kena frowned to herself.
Even he looked the other way when they dragged her out of the circle. There was nothing between them, she barely knew him, yet the pain was real. The pathetic pain in her chest at being betrayed.
Betrayed by whom? A passing acquaintance, grow up Kena.
She grimaced at her own idiocy, not one word of defense in her name, not from Cullen, Greagoir, or even the other apprentices. Even the First Enchanter glared at her as she was taken away.
Pathetic.
Kena was torn between hating Jowan and feeling so envious it hurt. She both hoped he was killing Templars or dead himself. She wished she had just run with him, so what if they had her phylactery? She could have still escaped, maybe.
Why didn't you run?
The reasonable, logical part of her mind knew that there was no other choice, she had to be punished for breaking the rules. For helping a maleficar escape. But it was Jowan. The closest thing she had to a friend, to family. They were going to make him tranquil, how could they? Of course, now she knew better... but still.
How could you do this to me? I loved you, didn't you love me?
He begged Lily to follow him, and still she refused.
But her? His best friend, so he claimed.
He didn't even look back when he ran, when he left them to the Templars.
It wasn't like that between them though, Kena didn't want it to be that way between them. Yes, a short lived and foolish thought had once flitted through her mind, but it was nothing. She had feelings for any man who looked kindly in her direction for more than a moment, and once she thought clearly, grew up, she knew she had loved him only because he was the closest thing she had to family.
She cringed at her own naivety. It seemed she was destined by the Maker to be abandoned by family.
Still, why hadn't he at least called to her to run away too? She might have been snapped out of the shock that held her frozen in place until she was clapped in irons. She swallowed her pride, of course he didn't look back, who would?
Pathetic little Kena Amell.
She pulled her knees to her chest and closed her eyes. The smell of rain seeping into her cell before she heard it. The slight pattering growing into a downpour.
The sound of the storm beating against the Aeonar's walls calmed her. Or was it the so-called honey water? Either way, she'd felt better then she had in weeks. The thought of the storm tormenting the walls of the Aeonar made her feel as if Andraste herself were attempting to free her, and that ridiculous fantasy calmed her heart.
"Thanks for trying," she muttered.