Bones
She had just told Oldest-Knower about the attack which she stopped by seeing it before it happened.
"You saw the hunt of the hatchling before it happened? And all are well and safe?" Oldest-Knower clarified.
She lay down before Oldest-Knower out of a mix of relief, weariness, and confusion, having flown straight there from the water-range where the attack happened.
"Yes, the hatchlings are safe. I do not know how I saw the hunt before it almost happened."
"Have you ever had other sleep-visions like that one?"
"None that happened. But I have had other sleep-visions that I do not understand."
Oldest-Knower grunted, "Not a surprise. You have sight of what might be. That power was very good for you and for us this time, but you should be careful of it."
That warning seemed like a twisted one. Her powers were part of her, probably from her sire-father in some way. There was no reason to fear them, especially since she had done a good thing by trusting the truth of that sleep-vision or seeing-vision. How could a power be bad if it saved life?
"I do not understand. Why must I be careful of it?"
Oldest-Knower chuckled, "As I said, it was good for you and for us this time. Seeing what might be could also foul flights and twist thinking. You might see something that you do not want to have happen, you take action to avoid that thing happening, and you make that thing happen by accident. Fate."
Fate. The idea that something is inevitable and cannot be flown around. An event must be, such as the hatchling was meant to be eaten. Not acting after seeing her sleep-vision would have let what she saw truly happen. That would have been wrong. Choices mattered.
"I do not believe in fate. That is weak and twisted thinking," she said.
Oldest-Knower huffed softly, "Maybe it is. What is true is that feelings can twist thinking very much. In most of us, having bad feelings and thoughts does not do much because we only have so much power to do good or bad. You have far more power than we do."
"Maybe so."
"Very much so. Did your wings ever burn with light and protection-wanting?"
She gasped, "How do you know that?"
Oldest-Knower smugly purred, "Because your sire burned like that when he fought his great fights long ago. He was brighter than the brightest light-rock as he struck hunter-kin from the sky. You can burn like that also, maybe, but you must control your feelings."
"How can I learn that control? You must know the best way to do this."
Oldest-Knower purred, "The control comes from doing the same in your life-flight that we do in ours: think of duty to the pack or to anything other than giving in to your wants. Do what makes the pack stronger, have more food, and be more in number. That is a reason why we have pack-role names instead of you-only names like you have."
She hummed, considering those words, "So I think about helping my pack be stronger, and I find the best way that I can help the pack even if that is not best for me?"
Oldest-Knower waved a paw toward the gliding light wings she could see, "Yes. Feelings are an obstacle to duty. Other packs do far more than ours does in keeping pack-only thinking. Other packs have no life-mate pairs at all."
She growled, "I know. My dam told me stories about other packs. Why do they live that way? What do they do for making eggs?"
"They have contests to find the best males and females in each life-making cycle in some pack-roles. Only those best males and females make the eggs. That means that the egg-makers change every time the new life-making cycle happens. The eggs are sat as a group, and the hatchlings are raised as a group."
She grumbled while thinking about that life-way, "I see a problem with that."
Oldest-Knower's eyeridges lifted, "Do you? What is the problem?"
"What about those who are not allowed to make eggs? Would they not be chilled and angry at not being allowed to have their own little ones just because maybe they are smaller or slower?"
"Not if they truly think only about the pack."
She growled, her tail thrashing in her displeasure, "Kin do not live that way. Yes, they think of the pack, but they also have their own wants and needs. Those wants do not die."
Oldest-Knower hummed in approval, "You think well. There is a problem with that other life-way, as you said. No matter how much the pack, any pack, tries to make those in the pack only think about the pack, it does not truly happen. Individual packmates have needs and wants that are theirs only and not of the pack. We know this. Alpha and I have made our pack one with a balance flight between meeting the needs of those in the pack and the needs of the pack."
"Balanced? How?"
"Think about it. We have life-mate pairs, but there are limits on egg-making because of need. We only have pack-role names for use in public, but everyone can have other names for themselves in private. We have the pack-order ceremonies so that all can rise in their pack-order if they want to."
She knew all of that already.
Oldest-Knower paused and snorted, "There is another problem. You know that there is an imbalance in the pack. We have more females than males. But we have life-mate pairs."
"Yes, I know. There is a problem in that."
"Having more females than there are males means the females must compete for the males' attention, which pushes more power to the unpaired males. They can get more of what they want without needing to be mates."
"They just join for fun?" she groaned.
Oldest-Knower chuckled, "Also, some females do not want to be in pairs or ever make eggs, so their reasons for pursuing males are fewer."
All that consideration of mates and implications for the pack was tiring and confusing. There were other questions more important.
"You said that I should think about the pack. What about other packs like Lone-Tree-Pack? What about using my life-will-powers to help them too?"
Oldest-Knower groaned and looked away, "Remember this life-rule: different groups and different packs do not truly mix or want good for each other. They are safest to keep apart. Best is to think only of your pack. Make it stronger so that it can be more than other packs. Groups fight against other groups. For one to gain means another loses. This is the way of life."
That felt twisted, mostly because it did not fly with what this pack was doing with Lone-Tree-Pack. Both were helping each other and benefiting. There was also Long-Grasses-Pack where light wings and spine-tails were living in peace.
"What about Lone-Tree-Pack? Our two packs are being like flight-mates by helping each other."
"We appear to do that, but the peace helps us more than it helps them. Yes, it is good that both packs benefit, but we benefit more. All pack-peace is only for using the other group to make your own group stronger. If the others turn tail on us or stop being useful, then there is no bonding or trust between the packs. They would go back to being only Others. The struggle never ends."
She got up and started pacing, her claws clicking on the rock underpaw. She grumbled as she paced.
"You do not like to hear those truths, do you?" Oldest-Knower asked.
"No, I do not. They feel twisted and not how life should be. All should want to help each other because we care and want good!"
Oldest-Knower shrugged, "If only. One of the most chilling parts of being an Alpha or an Oldest-Knower is to learn this life-truth: you must live in the world that is, not in the one you want there to be. Do I wish that both packs could truly want what is best for both at once? Yes, but that is not how life is flown."
There was no cold in Oldest-Knower's eyes. Rather, she appeared calm and honest. That much, the need to live in the world as it is, was definitely true.
"You… might be right, but I can also change some things like by making the She-Far-Fliers. Live in the world that is, but try to change it to make it better," she purred.
"And that balance is where flight-leaders live. There is another balance which you... especially might want to learn. Pain and power."
"I do not understand."
Oldest-Knower growled softly for the first time in a very long time, "You remember how I told you about the last Alpha: the one who had rotted thinking in his liver?"
"Yes."
"This is another life-rule: life will hurt you. Life will knock you from the sky, give you hurt-marks, and try to break your wings. I had a choice once the last Alpha was gone: try to forget what happened to the pack, and pretend that life could be warmer again as it once was... or remember always, hold the pain close, and use those memories as wood for the fire to burn."
She nudged closer to Oldest-Knower, very interested in what she was saying but also confused.
"What fire?"
"Revenge. Justice. They are not different when you think about them. Revenge against whatever caused the pain. That fire in the liver is what kept me strong all these life-making cycles. While I was too old for the last Alpha to want, I saw those he hurt and used. I was not allowed to say anything against him to anyone, since I did not know who was loyal to him or who was pretending out of fear. I took this Alpha under my wing and advised him, helped him be an acceptable Alpha, and watched over the pack. Someone needed to do that. The many in the pack cannot be trusted to do what is right."
While that sounded very good and liver-warming, it was also liver-chilling for Oldest-Knower. What she said made it sound like she was still hurt, somehow.
"You never flew out of what happened?"
Oldest-Knower looked away from her without answering for a very long time until she finally whispered, "Seeing others get hurt is worse than being hurt yourself. Flown out of the past is twisted-speak."
"Why?"
"Hurt-marks on the body will always be there, so it is with hurt-marks on the life-fire. All you can do with those is embrace the hurts, know that they are part of you, and use the anger for action to help others if you can."
Maybe that was true, but there was probably danger in this way of living: using hurts to guide flights and get strength. For one, it only worked if there was something to constantly do and be angry about.
"What about yourself? What happens if you get your revenge?"
Oldest-Knower shrugged, "You burn out and end if you cannot find a new purpose, a new wrong to fight against. There must always be an enemy to fight. Some kin turn to a simple life after great hurts. They think they can love another kin and try to find peace and acceptance through someone else. Love goes cold more often than not. I have seen it die too many times."
She hummed and hung her head at the liver-chill Oldest-Knower's words brought. Her words hit very close to her own life-flight.
"I know what you mean. I thought my sire-father loved me, but he went away because I must have been bad. My dam-mother only... made me as a way out of a bad life. They both went away."
She looked up at Oldest-Knower. Oldest-Knower looked like she wanted to say something.
"What is it?"
"Grr, do not worry too much about my words. I am old and grumpy, after all. You will learn in time if any of my words have lift, young Skadi."
She knew that she would, and she was eager for that good and warmer future when it happened. All she could do was be herself, help others, and be a loyal friend. The good would follow for sure.
She hopped to her paws, perched on the edge of the ledge, and yawned widely, still very tired from what happened earlier in this waking-cycle.
"I want sleep. My liver-thanks for your words and life-flight-guiding."
"And the pack thanks you for saving the hatchling."
"I would do it again."
Oldest-Knower purred softly to her in answer as she leaned off the ledge into a glide.
She glided for a while to think about all that the elder light wing had shared. Being an Alpha for a pack certainly meant making many decisions, some of which smelled bad. But if they were necessary for the good of the pack, how bad could they truly be? The life-advice about hurts and the power that came from hurts was also very twisted to think about.
But, if anyone would know how to endure a bad past and take strength from it, Oldest-Knower likely would. That elder light wing had endured and seen more than she had. Losing a sire-father and dam-mother, in different ways, was not nearly as bad as what Oldest-Knower had suffered, watching others be hurt while she was powerless to do anything about it.
She sat before Alpha and Oldest-Knower up on the elder light wing's ledge. Why they had asked her to fly up here was a mystery.
"Alpha, Oldest-Knower?"
Alpha grumbled, glanced at Oldest-Knower, and faced her again, "Skadi, have you kept your powers a secret so far?"
"Yes, Alpha. I have. No others know about them."
He huffed, "Oldest-Knower has suggested that we let the pack know about your thought-voice. Them knowing could help them trust you more in any fighting or any other situations. You would only share that you have thought-voice, nothing else."
"You think that is a good idea?" she asked the elder light wing.
Oldest-Knower shrugged, "Do you think you can hide that thought-voice for the rest of your life? We should make sure others know you have it. First, what can you tell us about that thought-voice? Not being able to talk, but instead… making other life act as you want."
That was a complicated question, so she stared at her paws before answering.
"The first I knew about it was when I was... seven life-making cycles grown. My dam took me down to a small pool that had a living fish in it. She told me what my sire told her I must know. I can... feel other life-fires, like any light wing can. With small-thinking life like prey, I can feel their wants and can make them stop by... forcing my thought-wants into their thinking. With other kin, I can feel their wants, hear their thoughts, and can let them hear my thought-voice. I do not know what else to say about what I can do."
"What happened at that pool with the fish?" Oldest-Knower asked.
"My dam had me practice until I could make the fish swim as I want. I learned how to do it myself since she cannot use thought-voice."
"And you cannot make other kin obey you?" Alpha grumbled.
He glared at her, which was liver-chilling. He had never looked angry or upset with her before.
"No, Alpha. I do not know how I could do that."
He said nothing in response.
"Do you need me to be at a pack-ceremony?" she warily asked.
Oldest-Knower purred, "No, we will let the pack know, but you do not need to show others. You might want to show your fledgling friends though."
That was a very good idea. Red, Yellow, Blue, and Green deserved to know the truth. They would not turn tail on her after learning that she had thought-voice.
She took a deep breath while facing her four friends. She had asked for them all to join her in a remote part of the warm-range so she could tell them the truth.
Yellow's tail tapped on the ground, "What is it? Why are we here?"
Green huffed, "I know. We could be play-fighting or exploring."
Red slapped Green's shoulder with a wingtip, "Typical male. She wants to tell us something important. Listen!"
All four fledglings, in various degrees of giving her attention, faced her.
She took another very deep breath to steady herself. What would her friends think about what she was about to show them? Would they think she was too different and then turn tail on her? Hopefully not.
But it was fair to tell them the truth and to show them the truth.
"Friends. You know that I am only half light wing. The other half of me lets me... do things pure light wings cannot do."
"Like what?" Red asked, visibly confused.
'Like speak with thought-voice.'
All four of her friends hopped back with shouts of surprise.
"What!" "What was that?" "Was that you?" "How did you do that?"
"That was me. I can make other kin hear my thought-voice. That is all. Alpha will let the rest of the pack know this."
Wide-eyed, red stepped closer to her, "Tell me more. What can that thought-voice do? How can you use it?"
"I... can speak to one kin, like each of you, or to many kin at once."
She left out mentioning the past about making prey obey her or the twisted sleep-visions she could have, since those were unimportant. Also, her touching of memory and knowing some of what happened in a life-flight was not important either; she never did that with other light wings or any kin for that matter. Others' thoughts and memories were theirs, not for her to know.
"Wow." "Amazing." "Neat." "Useful."
"What do you truly think about me?" she warily asked them.
They glanced at each other in obvious confusion.
"What do you mean?" Blue warbled.
"I mean what I said. Does my having any power change me to you?"
Blue and Green shrugged their wings.
"No, you are the same kin we always knew, just more interesting," Yellow purred.
Red grumbled, "You can speak with thought-voice to only one of us at a time, yes?"
"True, I can. From many body-lengths away!"
She was not sure how long precisely the range was for her thought-voice, but it was probably no shorter than her spoken-voice. She did not need to see the kin to thought-speak to them. All that was needed was to know that the kin was there. Feeling their life-fire was enough.
Green stepped away and stretched his wings, "Good to know. We should go do something as a flight."
Blue purred in agreement, "Any ideas?"
"There are some caves far from here but still in the pack's territory. We could explore those," Yellow offered.
"Are there any plants you want to see there?" Green teased.
"No. There is nothing except waters and caves," Yellow huffed after slapping him with her tail.
"Then we should fly!" Green growled.
"If we must. Skadi can test her thought-speaking with us there," Red proposed.
Her friends took flight, and she followed them, deeply touched in the liver that none of her friends were very surprised or worried by what she told them. They did not care that she had powers they did not have.
Those were true friends. Never in recent memory had she felt more wanted.
It was a liver-twisting feeling, knowing that more of her packmates were suspiciously glancing at her, probably out of a little fear and uncertainty.
Alpha and Oldest-Knower had explained to the entire pack that she had thought-voice. They had not mentioned any other life-will-powers or mentioned who her sire-father was. They made it clear that her having thought-voice was just a part of what she was as a mixed-kin, and that she had Alpha's and Oldest-Knower's trust.
However, there was a very clear difference between how random packmates treated her now compared to before. There were more glances from afar, though they all tried to avoid being noticed staring at her. They were quicker to end conversations with her or generally be quieter whenever she approached.
They were suspicious of anything that was different.
While that was liver-chilling, her friends did not care at all. Neither did the She-Far-Fliers have a problem with her. Instead, her fellow She-Far-Fliers only saw the advantage of her having thought-voice. Some of them had even asked if they can learn thought-voice, which she could not help them with at all.
Being treated a little different was not a problem. The only people who mattered, her friends, the pack's leaders, and her fellow She-Far-Fliers, accepted her for who she was.
She ran very slowly so that Hatchling had a chance to catch her. He jumped and leaped, trying to pin her tail. Finally, just when he was starting to look weary and slow down, she slowed down and let him pounce on her tail.
His eyes brightened as he chewed on her tail without it even pinching. His teeth were very, very small, just as he was.
"You strong hunter!" she hummed.
She flicked Hatchling up into the air and caught him with her wings. He squealed in pleasure at touching the sky, bounded onto her back, and started chewing a soft spine.
She froze when he started doing that. It was so familiar to what she had done so long ago. Why did she remember that so clearly? All of early life, even back to within the egg itself, could be as clear as if it had happened only the last waking-cycle.
Why did she have such memory? Sometimes it might be better if she could forget the past.
Hatchling, for she had no other name for him yet, eventually gave up on eating her back-spine and instead curled up on her back to sleep there.
"Dddaammmm..." he hummed.
My little...
She blinked, halting her own thoughts that were wrong, even though they were twistedly warming. She was not his dam-mother. How could something false feel so true and good?
She watched him until he fell asleep there on her back. She sighed, spotted the true dam-mother, and gently started for her without waking Hatchling. His dam-mother bounded over to her and retook her sleeping hatchling, gently picking him up by his scruff and laying down with him.
"Skadi, are you well?"
"Yes, I am. He will sleep much now."
"Did anything happen with him?"
"He... might be trying to use words."
His dam-mother hummed and covered him with her tailfins, "That is good of him. He should try to use words by now. Do you know what he said?"
Reveal what he said or not?
"No, he is still learning."
"I and my mate heard him say dam and sire for the first time. At least we think those are what he mumbled."
"Good. I am warmed for you both."
It was a very small relief that she had not been the first he had called by that good name.
She glanced to her side at her packmates in the sky. Red and seven other She-Far-Fliers were joined by Second-Fighter and Second-Far-Flier on this long flight. Previous flights as this new group had been kept within the pack's ranges where the flight was safer. Second-Fighter and Second-Far-Flier were there to represent their pack-roles on this flight to investigate a new range.
This was the first time they flew completely outside the bounds of the pack, of either pack now since Lone-Tree-Pack and Ice-Water-Pack were closer and allowed those from the other to fly in each other's territory.
But this range was very different from the ones she and her kin knew. There was no ice. The trees and bushes were much thicker, greener, and had fruits that were not good for eating. Prey would eat them though, and that was why there were more prey here. Even better, there were no other kin.
Where are the kin? This is a good range to fly in.
She dove through the tall, weaving tree branches until she touched down on the warm dirt. Tiny not-worth-eating things dashed away in alarm, hiding under the bushes. A tiny bug, one with a stinger, waved its stinger at her and scurried away. Then all her kin, the two males included, crashed down through the trees and bushes, and touched down around her.
Everyone looked awed and liver-warmed by what they saw so far.
"This is a very warm range!" "Why not have the pack here?" "So much prey!"
Red bumped her shoulder, "What do you think of this range?"
It felt good, but she was not sure what to think of it yet. Something was unsettling, though it was unclear what the problem or threat might be.
"This range might be good, but we should have care! Search quietly in groups of two or three, and then fly back here!"
They purred in agreement.
"How long should we search?" Sixth-She-Far-Flier asked.
"A short flight time, like from the sleeping-caves to the warm-range."
They all agreed and started making their groups. Red volunteered to be a group of two with Second-Fighter, she agreed to go with Second-Far-Flier and another She-Far-Flier, and two more groups of three She-Far-Fliers were made. They all flew off in different directions to search in the range.
There was more of the same: more trees, thick plants, some prey, water, light-rocks, everything that was needed for a good range. But there were no kin visible anywhere within the chamber. Not on the rocks, mushrooms, or any of the good places to perch.
She spotted something strange toward the middle of the big range. It was a clearing with a large mound of dirt and a very big and dark hole. Almost as though this was a nest. But of what?
Life-fire sight would not carry far down into that nest-hole.
She flew closer to the hole and pulled up in shock when she saw danger! There were bones of kin on the ground around that hole. The skeletons looked like they had been chewed on. Something, whatever lived in that hole, was preying on kin!
Why this range was empty of kin was very clear. This was a range of predators!
A roar of warning would certainly let the predators know that they were there. Was there another way to warn her kin to flee the range? Maybe there was, though she could not be sure they would all hear. All the She-Far-Fliers knew about her thought-voice, as Alpha had told everyone in the pack and she had shown them herself.
'Packmates! Gather now! Danger!'
Would her thought-shout fly far enough? Second-Far-Flier and the other She-Far-Flier raced for her as she flew away from the predator nest.
"Skadi! Was that you?" he asked.
"Yes! There is danger in this range!"
"What danger?" Sixth-She-Far-Flier whined.
"I do not know. Something that nests under the ground."
They quickly found the other two flights of three She-Far-Fliers unharmed. That left only Red and Second-Fighter. Those two were not in the sky. Everything was calm. Surely nothing bad had happened to them. She was with Second-Fighter, so they should be safe.
A roar of fear went up from the far forest. Everyone in the sky froze, hovering in place as the roar echoed and faded.
She turned for it and flew as fast as she could. She was the First and the flight-leader for this, so she had to protect her own! Red was also her friend!
Red burst out of the thick trees and turned toward her, flying very quickly. There was no time to stop and ask her questions. That she was in the air without Second-Fighter was bad. She was not the one in danger.
She raced past Red and then dove, spinning with tucked wings through the trees. The trees and vines were very thick and opened into a clearing with a stream and flat rock. She touched down, and her breath caught when she saw it.
Second-Fighter, the strong male, was asleep on his side, life-water spilling out of a hole in his belly. A big, red false-kin stood over him. The false-kin had tusks on its jaws and a long tail with a spike on the end of the tail. The hunter had stabbed Second-Fighter and made him go to sleep so it could prey on him!
One of her own, even if not of her own flight, was in danger. He needed protecting!
The hunter saw her and waved its spike-stinger-tail at her in threat-display, but she did not fear it.
'Hunger, need, hunting, catching, mine!'
'No! Wrong! False! Flee!'
The hunter did not move away and flee. Rather, it opened its jaws and bent down to Second-Fighter's exposed neck to either stab or bite to death.
She felt the hunter-kin's life-fire even stronger, for it did have one. But this hunter's life was opposed to her own kin. Maybe it only did what was natural for it to do. There was always a hunter, something that preyed on every type of life and had to do so out of need. That still made it her enemy. Enemies had to be defeated however was necessary.
'No!'
It froze, unable to move as its life-flame flickered and thoughts became confused.
The stinging-tail hunter whined in pain and fear, shuffling back away from Second-Fighter and unable to act as it shook its head in pain.
A pawful of fireballs struck it from above, knocking the hunter back in an explosion of fire that filled the clearing. The flames burned out as four She-Far-Fliers and Second-Far-Flier touched down beside her and roared at the hunter.
It was a dead kin-hunter.
Satisfied, the fear returned as she bounded over to Second-Fighter and started licking his hurt, tasting his life-water.
He was not dead. His life-organ still beat, though slowly, and he was still breathing. Maybe the sting of the false-kin would leave the stung one alive so that the hunter could feed on warm meat and life-water. She did not know or care.
The rest of her flightmates joined her in nuzzling him and purring in comfort. Red bounded up beside her, so she stopped and let another take over the tending.
"Red, what happened!" she asked.
Red closed her eyes and breathed heavily, looking very weary and understandably upset before she was able to speak.
"We searched together and found some old bones. There was nothing more to find. We ate a prey catch together and were talking here in this clearing when he heard something. The hunter jumped on his back, pulled him over, and stung him. He fought it so I could get away and find help, but he... will he be well?" Red weakly whined.
She nuzzled Red's cheek in reassurance, "Yes, he will be well. The sting does not kill."
But she saw another problem. Where there was one hunter there were probably more, maybe even in the big hole in the ground. She had no way to know how many there were in that hole, or how long the sting would have Second-Fighter asleep. Regardless, they could not leave him here or wait long.
"Second-Far-Flier, can you carry Second-Fighter?"
"I can. Help me get him up in the air," he answered.
That was no easy to do. However, they figured it out as a pack by holding him vertically by his hind legs, forelegs, and neck. Once they got in the air, they maneuvered him so that Second-Far-Flier could carry him at his belly. All they needed was to get away from this range.
There was something she wanted to do first after the rest of the flight had joined the sky. Growling and snarling, she stalked over to the dead hunter and inspected it more closely.
She had never seen a hunter like this before, though she had heard stories about its kind. The range where she had lived in as a hatchling and younger fledgling had no kin that hunted kin. True, the deep waters had kin-hunting things, but those were not kin, or false-kin like this.
She took to the sky, staying at the tail of the flight while glaring into the range that looked so good and inviting at first. This was a reminder of how dangerous the world truly was beyond the pack and the ranges she knew. On the other paw, the range had many prey and new plants. Danger brought opportunity.
She touched down by the base of Alpha's light-rock once the flight returned. Second-Fighter had awoken in the middle of the flight, and, though weak and in some pain, had been able to fly the rest of the way. Red had been very eager to stay close to him in flight.
Alpha was hearing the news of what happened from Second-Far-Flier.
But she wanted to sleep. On the light-rock would be best. The idea felt very warming right now.
"Skadi, come speak!" Alpha said.
She obeyed, wearily shuffling forward on the light-rock until she stood before Alpha, First-Fighter, First-Far-Flier, and Second-Fighter.
"You protected the flight and did well as the First of your group," Alpha said.
"Thank you, Alpha. First-Far-Flier, there is a nest of stinging-tail hunters in that range. I do not know how many there are."
"So I heard. I will tell the other Far-Fliers to avoid that range."
First-Far-Flier hummed to First-Fighter, "Maybe we can go as a pack and kill that hunter-nest if the range is good enough to take."
Alpha grunted, "We might fly that flight when there is need. For now, the She-Far-Fliers should keep flying as a group to more ranges. Skadi, you should find out how the attack happened so that it will not happen again this way."
She bent her head with a purr, "I will, Alpha. We have learned something from this, and there were no lasting-hurts except maybe a hurt-mark."
First-Far-Flier purred while gazing at her, "Second told me that you helped in the fight. He knows that you protected all well."
"I only did what I was supposed to do," she warmly answered.
First-Far-Flier huffed, facing Alpha, "And she is only a fledgling, an almost grown one, true, but still a fledgling."
Their praise was very warming to her liver. Even being called a fledgling was a little twisted since she was almost fully-grown and was bigger than light wing females and the smaller males. Was she even truly a fledgling anymore, or did the term not fly well with what she was as a mixed-kin?
Alpha eventually huffed while looking away from her, "Yes, you did... well."
She turned away and yawned widely, "If you may excuse me, I need rest after that fight and flying."
"Go," Alpha said.
Her tail tapped on the ground at her side as she stared into the darkness at the back of the sleeping-cave. All the other light wings had left for the waking-cycle, except she stayed behind. Not only had she been very weary after the fight the prior waking-cycle, but these passageways were so inviting and stoking of her curiosity.
And there was that faint wind blowing from within. The wind carried no scents of life or sounds of motion.
What is wrong with me?
Curiosity. She knew that was her problem and strength. It led her to ask questions that others may not ask. She had already been told what was back in these passes: a chamber where the bones of certain dead light wings were placed.
But she had not yet seen that herself. There was no certainty that she knew the full truth. The truth was only something she could learn by looking and seeing for herself, not by trusting what others said is the truth.
It supposedly made no difference which path she took, given that they led the same place, but the lower path looked more dangerous. That lower path was darker and had ground-growing-rocks and top-hanging-rocks shaped like teeth, almost as though the path led into jaws. The upper path was brighter and more open.
But the wind was coming from the lower path.
She checked again with life-fire sight, and she saw nothing living within.
Waste-pile!
She took a deep breath to steady herself, and she decided. There was no avoiding this flight anymore. Curiosity was too powerful to ignore.
Down into the darkness as the path went lower. Past the ground-growing-rocks and top-hanging-rocks so like teeth. The moving air grew heavier as a very faint light and dripping came from ahead where a small light-rock was making pale green light.
Her paws touched water.
What?
She followed a nearly-silent steam no deeper than a claw-tip. She paused, feeling an emptiness above from where water was dripping. The darkness was total up there, but she had to know how high that opening went up. She barked, letting the sound bounce and echo up the emptiness in a very, very long passage too small for a kin to climb through.
The passage, wherever it led to, was where the water and the faint wind were coming from. Maybe there were other chambers above. How big was the world?
That was a question for another waking-cycle, so she continued on through the dark as the passage sloped higher again and was joined by another, higher and brighter passage that was definitely the foregone path. Slow steps into the darkness, one paw at a time. Every tap of her claws echoed in the void.
Why did it feel like she was not alone anymore? There was nothing there except her shadow, cast onto the wall from the nearest light-rock.
She paused and held her breath, hearing nothing around her and seeing so life-fires around her. There was nothing of notice except a faint red light ahead around a narrow bend in the cave.
She strode around that bend, froze, and stared until she recovered her breath. Numbed by what she saw, strode out past the red light-rock and stared at the bones of adult and fledgling light wings.
They were perfect skeletons with broken necks, crushed wings, or no marks on them. All were piled neatly and had been untouched for a very long time.
There was nothing else worth seeing in the chamber. But she sat there and looked out over them anyway. How had one foul-rotted kin, the prior Alpha, killed all of them?
Why had she wanted to come here anyway? What was the great need that brought her back to see these pieces of the past? Why was she curious about these old bones?
She sighed with weariness, spun around to leave, and stared into Alpha's narrowed and surprised eyes.
She jumped back in alarm and sudden fear. How did he appear so suddenly, and why was he here?
"Skadi," he hissed.
"Alpha," she gasped.
He sat down where he stood, blocking the exit, "I was… why did you come here?"
He was not moving out of the way.
Was there another way out? No. She had not broken a custom by coming here, had she? There was no rule against it. Why did he look angry or afraid? Why had she wanted to come back here anyway?
The knowledge of what had happened had been kept from her, so she wanted to go learn. Was that worth it? Was it worth being trapped?
"I heard from Oldest-Knower... why these bones are here. I wanted to see them," she whispered without looking away from him.
He ears swept back as he kept glaring at her. This was very bad.
Trapped!
"Why? Why do you want to see the bones?" he hissed.
Out. Out! How to get out?
"I want... to learn about the past and know the truth."
He snorted and clawed at the ground while his tail twitched, "The truth? Take my life-advice: do not go digging or hunting in the past unless you are willing to accept whatever happens to you. You might not like what you find there."
That was such a terrible way of thinking. The truth was something good and correct and best. Knowing the truth and learning as much as possible is what made her, the light wings, and the other great-thinking life more than the small-thinking life.
Even if doing so was scary... like now.
"Alpha, it is always better to know the truth. That is why I..."
He started toward her, forcing her back toward the bones.
Thought fled and was replaced by fear. Such fear. He was bigger than her, heavier, and stronger. She could not escape this threat if he wanted to do anything bad.
His breath was hot and heavy, and his eyes were... she could not look at them.
She looked away and curled up tightly, knowing deeply what he could do right now. It would be so easy for him to... hurt her in such a bad-wrong way. There was no one else here to stop him.
Helpless. Alone. Her fault for coming here. Frozen by fear.
But he did not jump on her and attack. No jaws closed on her neck to hold her in place. Nothing happened.
He snarled and stepped back from her, which let her scramble to her paws and back away in fear until she almost touched the bones with her trembling tail. He glared at her as she sat down on her rear and stared back at him. He was again blocking the passage and only way out.
"You are lucky that I am not like the last Alpha. If I were, you would be in trouble," he growled.
From out of the surprise and the cold and the fear... she remembered Oldest-Knower's words about what had happened in the past. That fighting was why there were the bones behind her now and also why Alpha was the Alpha. The last Alpha would force-mate females.
He was not going to hurt her. That was good. So very...
She broke down, hanging her head while whining in liver-chill. She could not move at all even if she had wanted to. It was too much.
All she felt was the mix of relief, fear, and the echo of helplessness in his threat. Just being around him was scary.
Finally, the liver-chill and terror faded enough that she could look at him. He still sat before and blocked the passageway; he had not moved at all from after he jumped back from her.
"We need to talk. Now. With no others here," he growled.
Yes, talking was good. Talking was not hurting.
"Please... Alpha," she whined.
"What game are you playing?"
"Game? I do not understand... that is liver-truth."
He snorted, "You make new peace that I could not make with the other pack. You make a new pack-role that changes the balance of power in the pack. Now my Firsts are calling you a protector. The first protector is the Alpha. Me."
What was he truly saying? Why was he here now? What was he afraid of?
"Are you trying to take my place as Alpha?" he growled.
No. She could truthfully answer that, but would he believe her?
"No, Alpha. I do not want to be an Alpha for a pack."
He glared at her, silently considering her words. His tail started tapping on the ground in agitation.
"Let me say for this talk that what you said is truth. What are you doing? You are doing more than only being part of the pack."
"I... do not know. I am lost in life, and I do not know my purpose. For now, I am warmed only to be in this pack and make it stronger for everyone."
"You are changing much about my pack. Not all will like these changes."
She sniffled, "I only want to make the pack a little better. What... do you think about what I am doing?"
"I am not sure yet," he growled.
"How can I help you believe me?" she whined.
He stared long until his eyes softened, but only a little, "You understand my fear, yes? You are from the Highest-Alpha that was before for all kin. You could have claim to any Alpha-place you wanted to take."
Was that true? Her sire's life-water in her body and the part of him that lived in the mixed-kin she was did give her a claim. But she knew little about being Alpha.
Having an Alpha over her in the pack-order was liver-twisting, but she had no desire to be an Alpha over others. Protecting them was not the same as being Alpha, not truly.
She took a deep breath and calmly walked to him while looking up at him. He was taller, bigger, stronger, and more dangerous. She was still completely in his power if he wanted to do any bad.
"Alpha, this is liver-truth. I do not want your place as Alpha. What I want is to not have an Alpha ordering me. Having an Alpha telling me what to do because of what I am."
He grumbled, "I can understand that. And you will give that new First role to the fledgling you named Red once she is grown?"
"I will. She wants to rise in the pack-order."
He must have decided something because he stepped aside from the path and sat down, leaving the path open for her leave. He sighed and looked weary as he stared at his paws.
"Fine. You may leave now if you want, or you can stay and listen."
She so wanted to run down that path and escape right now. Get out and into safety again!
Or she could stay and hear what he had to tell her. Well, since he was not going to hurt her... and since something was being kept from here right now...
She sat down.
"Please talk," she whispered.
"You are a tail-twisted problem. You want to be in a pack, but you do not want to have an Alpha over you or be an Alpha yourself. Maybe the answer is to get a mate, hold him to your liver, make a nest of your own, and live a small, simple life. What do you think about that?"
The idea had some lift and liver-warmth. But there was a problem with that life-flight: it was very limiting by keeping her from making more changes for the better. On the other paw, there was some life-warmth in being needed and wanted by a hatchling whom she could teach to be strong.
Still, being a sire-father or a dam-mother must not be very important or good if it was a duty which was so easy to just leave behind.
"Maybe I will want that when I am grown more. But the sires and dams in the pack do nothing except sit eggs and hatchlings and fledglings. Doing that does not change much."
"It changes the world of the young ones who get a warm dam and sire," he sighed.
He started pacing again, glancing several times to her and away again toward the bones.
"There is something else you can try if you want faster answers to what to do with your life-flight," he whispered.
"What is it?"
"You can have a talk with yourself. You can speak with the true you that you do not know in your liver. I did once."
She knew what he was going to suggest. It was a very scary and tail-twisting idea since she knew more than he thought she did.
"There are blue mushrooms in the warm range. We kill most of them because they are dangerous, but we let some of them grow because they can help with thought-problems or great pain after bad hurts. Oldest-Knower can tell you more about them and what they do. Having a talk with your true you might help you learn what life-flight you would best fly. But hear this warning-"
"Yes, Alpha?"
He hissed softly while staring at the bones, "You are too curious, and that will get you hurt, especially if you try to hunt in the past."
"I do not understand."
He turned and stared at her, "The past can, if you are not strong enough to fight it off, grab you, hold you, put part of itself in you, and that can grow. What does it grow into?"
She gasped at the comparison between what he described and what he had not done to her. He had to know what he implied. Maybe what he did was just to teach her a life-lesson. If so, his warning felt unnecessary. She knew and understood that bad things had happened in the past. But not to her, and those bad things that happened long ago were dead and gone. The thought that memories could grow was very twisted.
"I do not know. What?" she asked.
"Neither do I. Go now," he whispered.
She obeyed and departed down the passageway while he stayed in place. He did not follow after her or do anything threatening. He only stared toward the bones, his ears fallen.
Instead of going down, this time she took the upward path. The higher path, as she expected it would be, was very warm and filled with light-rocks. Nothing was liver-chilling about this path.
It was safe, just like she was now.
She emerged in the familiar sleeping-cave where the pack rested. She continued on to the ledge outside from where she could see the entire visible range. Light wings flew on their various duties, were speaking with each other, or were relaxing.
This had turned out very well! She had learned the truth and satisfied her curiosity as to what was happening back in the passages. That faint wind was nothing but wind. Even Alpha's being threatening had ended well enough.
She shook her thinking of those thoughts, and jumped from the ledge. Blue, Green, and Yellow would be in the warm range together. They would want to hear about what had happened in the fight with the stinging-tail hunter-kin. Red was still away, probably with her kin, to recover from the fear of what almost happened.
Returning to the simple abandon of fledgling play, bonding, teasing, and such activities was also very welcome after the seriousness of the Alpha and of being First for the She-Far-Fliers in a fight.
But now that she knew what was back in those caves, the sleeping-cave which part of the pack used did not feel like a good place to rest. Something about it was too liver-chilling. The She-Far-Fliers had a cave they would all rest in too, but she wanted to find a cave-den of her own. There were several she had previously inspected without actually claiming as her own. Claiming one could wait for after play with her friends.