Dreams
She was dozing in her cave-den after a long waking-cycle of flying with the She-Far-Fliers to ranges beyond the pack's territory. They still were exploring known areas, for the most part, but Alpha wanted them to be ready for their first flights into much more distant ranges.
That meant they had to do a lot of practice. She was confident that they all, even the smaller She-Far-Fliers, had the strength and defense skills to stay safe against most threats, especially if they stayed together as they should.
Still, the practice left everyone more tired and in need of rest.
"Skadi, are you awake?" Red barked from outside the den.
"Now I am."
Red bounded inside, "We need to talk."
"What about?"
Red sat down before her and stared elsewhere, visibly upset by something or maybe just tired, "I am ready to be the First for the She-Far-Fliers. They were my idea and I need practice leading them. The other She-Far-Fliers need to look to me as the flight-leader."
Everything Red said had lift. The other She-Far-Fliers needed to know that Red was their new First and flight-leader. Further, this was the agreement between her, Red, and Alpha. She would be the First of the pack-role until Red was grown enough. Red could take over at that point, and Red was probably ready for that.
But...
Being a flight-leader and having responsibility for others was enjoyable. Having a power-place in the pack helped her to change it for the better and let others, like Cautious, have warmer lives and more control over their own life-flights. Being one of the She-Far-Fliers brought with it status and more attention from the available males, from what she had seen of others, not that she was very concerned about that detail. Two of the She-Far-Fliers had already announced that they either had a new mate or were exclusively seeing someone they were interested by.
Giving up her own status and power for her friend was acceptable. It was a small sacrifice, all considered. She had made a promise.
Was it even necessary for her to be a She-Far-Flier with a number? Alpha said she did not need to have one pack-role, and no other role was as appealing as where she was right now. Staying as a She-Far-Flier could cause small problems.
"Right, we should do that. I guess I will not be a She-Far-Flier after this. I only needed to be one to help lead them until you were ready."
Red looked a little surprised, "Thank you. If you do not want to be one anymore, fine. What will you do instead?"
She shrugged, "A little of everything. I can still help you on any flights, but I will not be a She-Far-Flier anymore. It would be a problem if I stayed one. They need to look to you, as you said."
"Your choice. Do not worry, I will make this up to you," Red purred, visibly relieved.
"How?"
"Let that be a surprise."
"That sounds fun. Wait. Could you tell me your secret-name?" she conspiratorially whispered.
Red stiffened and looked away, "I… it is nothing special."
"But I want to know it anyway. My name is nothing special, and you are my friend. Please? I promise on my wings I will tell no one."
Red sighed and shrugged, "Fine then. My sire and dam gave me a name which is not truly me, so I do not think of myself as what they call me. I… am Burning-Strength-Hatched-From-Shame."
That was a confusing and rather long name. Was there something Red was ashamed about? Maybe so, but that cold in her past only helped her be stronger now! It was also not her place to ask about anything bad which Red did not want to talk about.
She purred, "Thanks. I will keep calling you Red though. That name is more you to me."
She stood with Red as the other She-Far-Fliers began arriving as planned. Everyone was to meet by a light-rock in the warm-range. Most of the She-Far-Fliers were already present.
Red shuffled in place, clearly very eager to do this and be named the First in truth.
As for herself, she was unsure about it. This was the agreement, but giving up power and status felt twisted. Oldest-Knower had advised her precisely on this: a leader must be able to keep power and status.
Had she failed at leading the She-Far-Fliers? It did not feel like she had. They were all respected, moving up in the pack, and doing good work for the pack. It did not truly matter if she was not the First.
No, she needed to do this.
Several wings approached, and she noticed Fifth-She-Far-Flier and Blue arrive, though Blue trotted off on his own after they landed. The final two She-Far-Fliers were close behind them.
Everyone was now present.
"Packmates, you remember how I said that my friend, Second-She-Far-Flier, will be named the First? This is the time for that."
Red stepped forward and held herself proudly while everyone else looked to her out of curiosity.
Third-She-Far-Flier hummed, "I remember. Why are we doing this change?"
"Because it was part of the agreement we made with Alpha when he made this pack-role. Also, I... it was my idea to make this pack-role, so it is fair I should be the First as was agreed," Red explained.
Skadi stood taller, getting everyone's attention, "I am sure my friend can be a good First and leader for you all. She knows what she must know. Look to her as your First. I will not truly be a She-Far-Flier in name, but I can help you if you need the help on any flights."
Everyone purred in understanding and approached Red to start asking questions about what the She-Far-Fliers would do in the next waking-cycles. Red, now First-She-Far-Flier, easily took over and had no apparent difficulty.
With the news delivered, she took flight to tell Alpha and Oldest-Knower about this change. It was not very important for the pack, other than matching the kin to the name-role, but that could be confusing enough on its own. The pack's naming-customs were confusing. For one, everyone else would move up one place in the order now that she was out.
Out.
It was both chilling, as though something was lost, and liberating since she did not need to worry about leading.
The water was very deep, very dark, and very cold, but she did not care. She was a better swimmer than any of the other pure light wings. She could always catch the deep, fast fish that they could not catch. Further, she did not fear the things that swam in the deeps. None of those hunters ever bothered or threatened her.
She broke through the surface of the water-diving hole and jumped up onto the thick ice. Out of the cold water, she shook wildly to get all the cold water off. Dried off, she flew down the massive range and along the ice walls that she knew so well.
While everything around her looked the same, the passes almost felt different, or maybe she was different in some important way. A twisted feeling had been growing inside, but she did not know what it was yet. But it almost felt like something was missing. Something good should be there, but was not.
She saw another welcome sight: a very familiar pair of wings was in the air with her.
'Red!'
Her friend turned toward her and eagerly flew up to her side.
"How was your hunt?" Red asked.
"Good! How are the She-Far-Fliers?"
"All well! They have another flight in two waking-cycles. We all want to be back before the pack-role ceremony," Red answered.
This upcoming pack-role-ceremony would be the first for her four friends, who were not truly fledglings anymore since they were all grown to their full sizes. They would not be fledglings in only a couple pawful of waking-cycles. No, they would take part in the pack-role ceremonies and be named true adults.
Another part of being grown was a topic that had been flitting around her thoughts far more.
"Have you decided on your... partner?" she asked with amusement.
"Yes! You know that I want Second-Fighter. He has no mate, he is strong, and we both know each other already," Red purred back with a gleam in her eyes.
"Why am I not surprised?"
Red was certainly one of the most desirable females available in the pack, that much was certain. She was already a flight-leader, was strong and confident, had status, and knew how to use her influence on the males. She had probably already taken Second-Fighter into a cave to assure his interest in her alone.
She had first noticed that interest between the two after Second-Fighter had been attacked on one of the She-Far-Fliers' first long flights. Red wanted to be around him a lot after that happened.
She snorted in amusement at the thought of how easy it was for males to have their tails and thinking twisted with wanting. That seemed to be a life-rule. Not always though.
Unless they have other flights that are more important... like my sire-father did.
That memory always brought back a faint chill. Time had not made the memories fade or feel any different. Thinking about the past sparked a wish that life had been flown differently, but there was no warmth to claim from clutching that past too closely. If only moving on was so easy.
The coming waking-cycles would be an important first flight in truly moving on from that life and into a better one.
She was sure that she was truly grown now to her full size. Not only was size important, but she had learned everything she was supposed to be able to do with her powers: her own special thought-speak, fire-breath, hiding from eyes, and even greater thought-control of lesser things like prey. No other light wing could thought speak. She could hide from sight just like them, though there was never any need. No other light wing could force its own thinking into the liver of small prey or simple-thinking creatures, or could live the memories of others.
But more than just size and her powers was something far deeper inside. She did not want to be alone anymore. The long, uncountable sleeping and waking cycles of being alone were not liver-warming at all.
The pack made sleeping-piles and much of the pack slept in the same sleeping-cave, but those were not the same as being wrapped up in one other's wings and sharing different types of warmth. One other whom she could trust with her life-flight and make a nest and an egg with.
All in time.
She and the fledglings, while they were still fledglings in name, had planned to do something together. They had talked about this several times over the last life-making cycle, but there had not been a reason to truly do it before. These last cycles before the pack-ceremony were the last chance they would have to learn something important before the flight was flown.
"Are they all there?" she asked.
"Yes, all of us! This should be fun!" Red answered.
She was entirely certain that it would. None of them, as far as she knew, had ever done this in the past. They would certainly have said something if they had tried the special mushrooms before.
Yellow had learned more about what they did, and she had shared what she knew. The possibility of meeting their true life-fire, of talking to it and learning something about themselves, was too good to pass up. It was an option that was proven, safe enough when used correctly, and could help her learn more about themselves. The difficulty would be to try it in as safe a situation as possible. They could look out for each other if anything twisted happened!
She and Red met up with Yellow, Green, and Blue, and they flew together outside the pack-range to a special place that she and Red knew of from a prior flight. There were caves that had nothing in them except several streams that flowed... somewhere that did not matter. Those caves would be a good place to do what they planned.
Green had grown well and had become a strong fighter who was expected to place in the middle of the Fighters-order, this being his first test. Blue was going to be a good Fisher, and he was fine with not getting much status out of that simple pack-role. Yellow was learning about the various plants and tree-bark that had health-helping traits. Red was the leader for the She-Far-Fliers, and she very much liked that role and the status it brought with it.
They were all grown up now, even if still named fledglings for a little while longer.
All five of them touched down outside the caves and strode inside. Together, they walked up to the stream and sat down in the cold sand.
Yellow dropped the five small mushrooms from her jaws, quickly cleaned the mushrooms in the water, and dropped them on the wet sand. Purring and with wary glares, they all stared at the mushrooms that glowed with a faint blue light.
"Are you all ready?" Yellow asked.
"Yes, it should be very fun!" Blue hummed.
"No reason to wait," Green huffed.
Red snorted, "You are twisted ones. But this should be fun, and I did agree to this."
"Is Red a scared light wing?" Green chuckled.
"I should flame your nose," Red hissed.
"That has never happened before," Blue chuffed.
Red flamed Blue's nose.
Amused, Skadi stepped over and grabbed one of the mushrooms in her jaws before dropping it at her paws.
"Are we ready? As kin and friends?" she hummed.
"Rule for this first, go over to the water if you need to empty your belly!" Blue said.
Red and Yellow rolled their eyes.
"We know that. And do not go in the waters if you do!" Red snorted.
They all snorted in agreement, not wanting to make such a bad mistake.
"I will eat first!" she offered.
She bit down on hers, crunching it up.
There was no taste at first, then sweet, then a very foul taste, and then almost nothing in the end as the chewed mushroom went down.
"How does it taste?" Blue asked.
She shook her head, stuck out her tongue, and flamed some to help burn away the lingering taste and scent in her mouth.
"Not good... twisted… grr... just try it."
They did. Red snapped up her mushroom first without seeming to chewing it, which made sense given the bad taste. The other three grabbed their mushrooms and chewed them up while holding their mouths open. They teased each other more than Red did. Red always liked being more in control or presenting a more dignified appearance.
They sat down, looking around at each other and waiting for something to happen. Their tails swayed on the sand as they tilted their heads in waiting.
Nothing happened for a very long time, which was confusing since something was supposed to happen.
"Anything?" Green asked, looking to Yellow.
"No, what about you?" Yellow asked.
"Nothing yet," Green answered.
"It might take some time," Yellow huffed, pacing back and forth.
True, oh well...
She turned to Red, "Maybe we should wait more. Red, did anything happen with the She-Far-Fliers? They were flying with some fighters to a range with danger."
Red blinked and only grunted in response.
"Do you think they are ready for-" she began.
Red hopped to her paws and dashed away from them, heading for another chamber.
Everyone else snorted in amusement at the sudden departure.
"That is one of us!" she laughed.
It was not too much longer before Green started shuffling in place and then ran off in another direction.
She started to feel the need along with a tickling in her throat and a twisted spinning all around her.
Something was happening. Was it the light-rocks that were brighter? The water rushing down in the stream was like a need. Why was her throat tickling her? She had to go... whatever that meant.
So she spun away from her friends, stumbled past a returning light wing... was that Red?... ran into an empty chamber, fell on her face, and dashed for the cold stream which she jumped into.
Relief and an empty belly followed. She had avoided eating much the last couple waking-cycles before for this reason, knowing this was likely to happen. But still so weak...
Was the water spinning in place? The rocks overhead? No, that was only the light-rock. Or was it?
Why was she in the water? She was not a water-kin or supposed to be in the water at all. Or maybe she was a water-kin and had just forgotten that... no, that was twisted... she was a shore-kin... a land-kin... a ground-kin... something like that.
She climbed out of the water and pulled herself onto the shore. All alone now.
Who was she? What was she? Why was she?
The sand on the shore was not good for eating, so she did not eat it. Was she hungry at all? Maybe there was water in the fish behind her... or maybe not.
Her paws were weak and very heavy. Maybe sleep would be good.
Yes, sleep would help with this weakness so her eyes closed as she fell into the darkness while the water and noise rushed around and-
She was not weak anymore and she was awake.
Everything felt very good!
She blinked wildly, looking around and shaking her head.
But the cave around her was darker than it probably should be or was so recently. What had happened? Why was she here at all? Where was here?
This is twisted. What was I doing... oh! Yes! My friends!
She flew to her paws, stretched, and dashed for her friends. Maybe something was different about her. Maybe the mushroom did not affect her at all. There was no other kin like her here or in the pack.
"Red, Yellow, Blue, Green, where are you? Are you all waiting for-"
She jumped into the chamber where they had all eaten the mushrooms. Oddly, her friends were gone. No one was there at all in either direction in the cave. There was no sign of any other kin; there were no pawprints, calls, or scents on the air. It was as if they were never here.
And the water was still, paused in its flowing, as if time was frozen.
What?
Startled and confused, she stared at the still, dead water and only then noticed that in the total silence there was a faint whispering. That whispering, like a faint wind, flowed from a dark side passage she had not bounded down before. Curious, she walked toward it.
She turned a corner and paused midstep when she saw... a nothing blocking the path.
A writhing and wiggling shadow, like a very thick mist from a waterfall, hovered in the passageway ahead and completely blocked the path into what looked like a very large chamber out of which light shone.
What is that?
She crept closer and closer to the surface that was like black mist until she could almost touch it. Tiny tendrils or frills of mist dripped and spun from the nothingness.
Touch it or not? She was curious, and the darkness was not doing anything at all. It was only being there. Its mere being was an invitation to touch it and know what it was. Knowing more and getting the truth was only good.
She leaned forward and touched it.
A rain of spikes piercing through her eyes. Massive jaws closing around her head as the audience cheered. A hurled spike buried in her chest. Diving to catch her other-thing-kin and having her wings tangled in a fall. A rock flying at her with no time to dodge. A poisoned spike pouring death deep into the strike. Wings torn off in a fall onto a water-floater-den. Drowning in the water after a crash. Finding her mate dead and eggs crushed. Being used by to make eggs from other kin brought by strange-bad-wrong two-legged things. Traps. So many traps.
'You will be highest Alpha as I was. Protect us all and do what must be done.'
That eternal moment passed in an instant. All the voices, all the pain, all the loss cried out... they demanded something.
'You will know the Monsters and destroy them. That will be your purpose.'
A life-fire, or many life-fires, was hiding in the swirling darkness. If only she would embrace them, they would embrace her in return. Offered power and strength and will... only the strongest wills could act. The shadows reached out to touch her, but she recoiled, fleeing from the creeping tendrils reaching out for her and staring into her without eyes.
She flamed at them, holding back the writhing shadows.
The fire swelled, setting rock and water ablaze all around her, trapping her in a belly of flame and heat. The fire hungrily crept toward her from all directions, needing to eat, grab, and claim.
Hopeless, trapped, suffocating.
But the fire stayed away and could not prey on her. It was only stuck there, unable to nibble at her while the dark mist was kept back by the fire. A voice from deep inside commanded that the fire flee!
And it did. It obeyed.
The fire rushed out in all directions and preyed on all other things around her. The cave, the rocks, the sand, the water, all of it was eaten and was gone.
She was falling from a sky that was so different and not-bounded and great waters hung up in the sky and a great, burning light-rock hung in the sky also and how... how... what?
She recovered flight and looked around at how different all was from the world she knew. But then it was more familiar as great lights and mushrooms started growing from the ground. The mushrooms were made of fire and grew very, very big, filling the entire sky.
'You will protect us as I could not.'
The nearest mushroom cloud struck with a wave of heat and wind and-
She flew to her paws with a gasp, finding herself breathless after the sleep-vision began to fade. It always seemed so vivid, true, and real in the sleep-visions. They always faded quickly after she woke, unable to sink her claws into the vision and hold onto it.
This one was lasting longer and not fleeing or fading. Why was it so real? Why was the voice...
That had been his voice, she was sure of that, but the voice was gone now. The echo of her sire-father's voice faded into the shadows and was no more.
She looked around a massive chamber filled with distant light-rocks, a falling-branch light-making tree, and countless kin on the ground around the light-making tree on a ledge before her. That place looked so correct and good and liver-warming and she-should-be-there that she had to go to it now, so she did and flew up to the light-making-tree.
Under the falling branches of the light-tree, there was a kin that looked almost like a light wing but was different in very familiar ways. It was curled up tightly on itself, but that could not hide the soft back-spines or its general shape that she knew. The kin lifted its head and stared back at her.
She gazed at herself, and the Skadi gazed back without saying anything. Neither could she find any words. It looked like she was struggling, in pain, or was very weary. It was also very thin.
She felt a stab of cold on this echo's or mirror's behalf.
'What happened to you?'
The other Skadi stiffened, staring through her as if it could not see her. Its eyes were narrowed, empty of color, and resigned. The Skadi's scales and hide glimmered and sparked, as if they were hiding light and fire itself. The Skadi relaxed after looking away and lifting its head to the bounded sky.
'We learned who the monsters are.'
The thought-voice crashed upon her with strength she did not have and had not felt even from her sire-father. As loud as a crashing of rocks and as cutting as the sharpest claws. Filled with pain and defiance and strength.
Monsters? What? What even was a monster, and why did it matter?
'Who?'
'Everyone else.'
Before her eyes, the Skadi started glowing and burning with light like a light-rock. Scales and hide changed into fire and light that spilled out, filling the entire chamber. Brighter and brighter until she eclipsed all other light, and then brighter still.
Light swirled and spun in the chamber as voices were raised to endlessly echo in a clamoring of noise and roaring and fear. Flames spun and coiled in place, ready to rush out and burn everything.
'Everyone else?'
Total silence fell. The light stopped spinning. Shadows spun in the bounded sky. The other fires and lights burned out.
The Skadi that burned brighter than any light-rock and was the only source of light in the total darkness stopped whining and looked up at her.
'You know nothing. We are always with you in the dark.'
It hurt to look at her. She had to close her eyes and back away as the clamoring noise resumed and as her head pounded with a thumping as she was falling from the ledge and as water rushed nearby and swirling in freefall and spinning and-
She opened her eyes and groaned heavily. The world around her spun in place until everything settled down. But her head felt like she had crashed into a wall. Her belly also felt empty, though that was to be expected.
My head... did I hit a rock?
The stream flowed on nearby where she lay on the sand. Why was she out here again? What was happening?
Snoring caught her attention. There was also warmth and something big nearby. What was right next to her on both sides?
She blinked as understanding sparked to life.
Blue was resting and snoring at her right side while Red was on her left. He was partly curled around her and had rested a wing over her back. It was confusing and also a little comforting in a practical way for him to be there so close to her. Having Red with her was not a surprise at all. Her closest friend would want to comfort her.
"Skadi?" Red softly hummed.
She lifted a paw and rubbed her head to try to get the twisted-thinking and the small-hurting out.
"What... happened?" she groaned.
Red chuffed, as if she was amused, "Nothing important with you. They are very different. I had no idea."
"What? Red... no twisted-talking now... please. My head hurts."
Red purred softly in sympathy or understanding, "Sorry, it was just very twisting to see. The mushroom I had did not do much to me after I had to go. I saw twisted things that have no lift and I do not understand. You fell asleep here by the stream. Blue came over here to the stream to hunt the fish in it and wander. There are no fish in it, but he said he caught them! He... remembered himself later. We saw you here, so we came over to shelter you under our wings until you woke up."
"My liver-thanks for that. Where are Yellow and Green?"
Red rolled her eyes and groaned, "That is the twisted part of this. They had hidden wanting for each other."
Wanting? What? I never saw that from them. Does that mean they-
"So they were together?"
Red snorted, "And probably still are right now. Listen to this, she secretly liked that he is going to be a strong Fighter, and he liked that she is learning to help those with hurts to be better. There was far more, but they were being blind to each other and themselves. That is what I heard them saying while they were busy with each other."
"You saw that?" she barked.
"By accident, and then I came out here. They should be alone for that!" Red huffed.
It was very twisting to think of them, Green and Yellow, being together as mates, or even just joining for any other reasons. They were her kin whom she had known for two life-making cycles. But they had their own life-flights to fly, and if they flew them together as life-mates or just truly caring for each other, then that would be all the warmer for them.
Learning that they had hidden wanting for each other also helped her realize that she did not know them as well as she thought she did. But maybe they had not known that about themselves either.
How had she missed that they wanted the other as a mate or even just wanted to join for pleasure? Green had teased Yellow a lot about his being a strong male, but Yellow had always denied that she cared or was interested. Maybe that denying was only a trick, tease, or a test?
On the other paw, she and her friends did not live all of life together. Even the fledglings had their duties for the pack, such as training for their choice of pack-roles, and those duties kept them away from each other much.
She quickly glanced at Blue, remembered that he was slightly curled around her, and looked to Red as fear swelled in her own liver.
She did not hurt anywhere, other than her head, but how could she be sure about something like this? She had never been with a male before and did not know what to expect or what the signs of having been with one would be.
"Did Blue and I do anything?" she whispered after checking that he was asleep.
Red huffed, "No. He saw you hurting in your sleep-vision, and he wanted to comfort you. We both did. Nothing else happened."
She sighed in relief at the further confirmation that nothing very confusing had happened while she was thought-twisted. It was a relief that she and Blue had not done anything, but at the same time she had to wonder... what if they had? How different would that make life? That was a confusing topic to think about later.
"I thought not. Good. Should we go get them?"
Red chuffed and glanced toward the passageway.
"Do you want to see that or hear it?" Red asked, amused.
"Them together? No, I do not. Good point."
"Then we wait here for them to find us after they are done."
That was a good plan. Yellow and Green would remember themselves eventually and might want to do more bonding after... that. Maybe they would want to bond for a long time or even go again; she had no idea what they would do now. It was not for her to know.
"Does Blue know about Yellow and Green?" she asked.
"Yes, and that is why he and I came here to leave them alone. Also-"
"Yes?"
Red blinked after glancing at her, "Twisted of me. The mushroom must have done something to me after all. It probably did now that I think about it."
"What?"
"I was confused," Red grumbled.
Red lay her head on her paws, sighed heavily, and closed her eyes to go to sleep. That she had been so barely affected by the mushroom was amazing and was proof that she had very strong self-control. Or maybe she had a smaller mushroom that did less to her. There was no way to know.
She also lay her head on her paws and closed her eyes. The stream flowed on while Blue dozed at her side and shared his warmth.
In the following peace, confusion was flying in her liver, all because of what had just happened.
Blue was a kind male, competitive, and also knew when to ask for help. She and he had practiced a lot of fishing over the last life-making cycle. All of that practice would help him do well in the next contests to find a place in the pack-order. But they had also talked much in that time, even if Blue had been taking the pack-order testing far more seriously recently and therefore not bonding much with her. He had confideded in her that his secret-name was The-Flame-Who-Dives-Fearlessly, and sharing that name spoke loudly that he trusted her a lot.
Red had no interest in Blue, and Blue had never expressed interest in a female. He had never mentioned anything to her about wanting anyone.
What if Red had told her that she and Blue had joined out of secret wanting? It did not happen, but what if it had? Would that have been bad of her and Blue? Would she have not liked it if Blue had admitted secret wanting for her as a life-mate? Or could it have been a liver-warming surprise to them both to learn that about each other?
She felt a little warmer at the thought of being wanted in that good way. Even better for that wanting to come from a friend instead of a purely practical pairing just to make eggs!
She had not had such desires before, but that she was even thinking about Blue in that way was a sign that she had grown old enough to notice him. He was not only kin to her in the same way that all pack-kin were. He was a healthy, unpaired male whom she knew, respected, and had common interests with.
What did that make him to her? Was he only a friend and kin to her, or was he more? How to know for certain? Could she know for certain?
Great lights, this is confusing.
They waited together for a long time until she heard approaching paws. A glance confirmed that it was who they were waiting for, so she nudged Blue and Red awake. She, Blue, and Red hopped to their paws and faced Green and Yellow.
The two light wings looked a mix of pleased, confused, and wondering. Green looked tired and proud of himself. Yellow was a little bashful, shuffled on her paws, and looked away at the wall.
"You are both loud," Red snorted.
Yellow jumped at her, snapped at her nose, and gently batted at her with a paw.
"We were not planning to do that! It... just happened!" Yellow hissed.
"Yes, so I heard! You could have warned us first," Blue teased.
"I did not want to see you climbing on her!" Red added, glaring at Green.
Green rolled his eyes and chuffed, "Then you should not have looked."
"Fair. So how did that happen? Not the being together. You know what I mean!" Red huffed.
Green stepped to Yellow's side and nuzzled her neck, "I knew that I wanted her. She leaped at me and showed wanting. What was I supposed to do?"
Yellow lay down and covered her eyes with her paws while grumbling indistinctly.
Skadi hummed in amusement, trotted to her, and gently nudged Yellow's shoulder, "What will you both do now since you have done that?"
Green's lifted ears fell slightly, "That depends on the mate-choosing ceremony after the fighting contests and on what we want. I know what I want."
"You want her, yes? You want her as your mate?" she prodded him.
"Well, I do. I have for a long time. I would name her my mate, if she would have me," he whispered, looking away from them both.
Yellow blinked and shuffled in place after she heard that, "You meant it? You really did?"
"I would not trick or be false about that," he answered.
"What about you? Do you want him?" she asked Yellow.
Yellow hopped to her paws and stared at Green, her tail twitching as she was silent. She stared into his green eyes that never looked away from her. She flinched, hesitating for a wingbeat. Then she exhaled, stepped to him, and licked his nose once.
"I... well... I hold you to my liver-"
"And to your belly," Red muttered.
Blue snorted in amusement while Yellow ignored that.
"-as I think I would a mate. I want a little more time before I decide, but I think I want you too," Yellow whispered.
"Good enough for me," Green purred.
She watched as Yellow and Green nuzzled necks while purring to each other in open bonding. She was not sure of the rules that would apply in the future for them, but they probably had enough liver-trust to want each other truly. It looked very good and liver-warming from what she had seen of them so far.
She knew that Yellow and Green had been doing a lot of activities together recently. Yellow had been watching the fighting games more, and Green had been learning about plants and joining Yellow on walks to find plants. All of that activity looked different now, even if the two light wings did not know what was happening at the time.
Further, there were many other things the two of them had done before, such as fish sharing, flights together, teasing each other while pretending to not be interested, resting together after flights and play, and a way they looked at each other a lot, that definitely meant there was wanting between them.
I want... that too. But I also need to think about this.
Red flew to her paws, "Before we fly, we should talk about what we saw from the mushrooms, if anything. I will start. My sleep-vision was too twisted to understand. The light-rocks had wings and were flying. How twisted is that?"
They all snorted in amusement.
Green purred, "Mine was very twisted, but I spoke with a bigger me. I had to fight with him and pin him. Then he told me that I should not be afraid and should grab the moment when it happens! Life will not make me happy unless I make it make me happy! Then I woke up and saw Yellow there. She was so liver-warming that I had to tell her how important she is to me."
He glanced at Yellow, and she purred while teasingly glancing away from him.
He continued, "She said liver-warming and wanting-teasing things to me, and she looked even more beautiful. Then she jumped at me, nipped me, and we knew what we had to do."
An assortment of chuckles, laughs, and groans followed.
Yellow shoved his shoulder with a paw, "I was lost in a very thick forest of mushroom-trees and other big plants. There was no path I could see, so I just kept walking even when the trees were twisted and new ones I do not know. Finding more and more plants was nice, but it brought no warmth. I found a stream where Green was resting. He was the only other light wing I could see. And I remembered how... strong, silly, stubborn, and... brave he could be. I just knew it was not a sleep-vision, or not only a vision, and he said very liver-warming things to me, and I... wanted to do the same. Then I saw that he wanted to be with me... so I bit him and everything else happened from there."
Yellow did not say anything else, but she did not need to say more.
Skadi chuckled.
"What is funny?" Yellow huffed.
"Nothing. You were both speaking from your livers," she said.
"Maybe. What about you? What did you see?" Yellow purred, leaning against Green's shoulder.
She looked away and stared out the cave at a distant light-rock. The light-rock flared slightly brighter, or maybe that was only a trick of the light or her thinking. Was there a dark mist hiding in a nearby passageway? No, there was no such mist.
"Nothing important. It was all too twisted. I do not even have words for it. There was a sky without end and waters that were flying and mushrooms of fire!"
"What?" "Very twisted." "I do not know." "Confusing."
She stepped away from them while ruffling her wings and stretching, "Very confusing. Blue, what did you see?"
He purred while looking at the nearest light-rock, "I was fishing by swimming in the sky, but I was not hunting fish. I was hunting a darting and dashing light that was… hiding from me, almost like it was afraid or cautious. I had to find where the light would fly to and then I needed to sit there to wait for it. That did not work at first, but the light eventually flew to me and did not fly away! Any of you know what it means?"
They all shrugged. She had no idea either. It was difficult to turn her thoughts from what she had directly seen and felt was so real.
"Well, now that this is over we should fly to the pack," she proposed.
They purred in agreement, stretching their wings and following her out of the cave and into the sky. The flight back to the pack was filled with Red and Blue teasing Green and Yellow while the last two flew at each other's wingtips.
She led the flight while trying to not think about the sleep-vision. So much of it had no lift at all, though she could remember most of it. The flashes of kin hurting in many ways were very terrible and liver-chilling. The words about protecting kin from monsters, at least that part she could understand some of, though it was not clear why her sire-father would say that. The monsters that swam in the deep waters never threatened her, so she was protecting the pack by doing the deep fishing. Was that what the vision meant? The only true monster she had ever met was the rotted Fighter who force-mated two females and was killed later.
Most of the rest of the sleep-vision was too twisted and filled with things she had never seen before.
But she remembered strange words shared by Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer in the other pack. That elder light wing had mentioned that there was another kin living inside every kin's liver. She had said that eating the mushroom might help her speak with that kin, which was part of her reason for wanting to try the mushroom at least once. That kin which she saw was-
Herself and not herself at the same time. What was it? Why was it so very familiar and not familiar at the same time? Maybe it would be better to not dwell on that twisted vision.
If only it was that easy to not consider what had felt so real in the moment. None of what she saw was real, after all.
Why am I so twisted?