Rationale
Skadi flew alone to Lone-Tree-Pack. In the absence of her having a specific pack-role, Alpha had asked her to be like a Peacekeeper between Ice-Water-Pack and the other nearby packs. There was no fighting or great lack of trust between any of them as far as she knew, but this was still a type of work she could do for her pack. Being a formal representative of her pack on this flight gave her a place of protection as none of the other packs could threaten her unless they wanted to provoke between-pack fighting.
This role also let her be more on her own, which was pleasant. Flying on her own away from her pack brought a peace that she found less and less among her pack.
They were all warm enough to her, more or less, but she knew the truth that she was different from them. She was different in appearance, and nothing would ever change that. Worse, her former friends, had moved on from her, as was their right since they had new responsibilities. They did not need to keep her in their life-flights.
She landed on a light-rock to rest and let her thoughts fly away.
How was it possible to trust others or know what others truly thought? The only way that came to mind was to use her powers, but even that was not truly an equal situation because others could not do that with her. How was it possible to trust others at all?
Not only was there a problem with trusting others, but she had specifically been tricked and blinded to Red's plans. While Red had rotted thinking, or at least thought only about rising the pack-order to the exclusion of all else, she herself had not seen the truth of what was happening. She had been blind.
It was her mistake for implicitly trusting her former friend. More questioning and doubting of others and their intentions was needed, or she might be tricked in the same way in the future.
She glided down the passageway as several Far-Fliers and Fighters from Lone-Tree-Pack calmly approached her.
"Welcome, Skadi!" one of the males, whom she recognized as their Third-Far-Flier, shouted.
"Welcome, Third-Far-Flier! Warm cycles and large hunts to your pack!" she answered.
"And to yours. You are here to speak with Alpha?" he asked.
"I am."
The other Far-Fliers went off on their own while he guided her on into the chamber where the pack lived. The large mushroom with the light-rocks at its base eventually came into view ahead. She touched down by the base of the light-rock, and Third-Far-Flier landed beside her.
"It looks like Alpha is away with his hatchling. I will bring him if you wait here," he said.
"Fine. I will wait," she answered.
He flew off, leaving her alone before the light-rock.
The quiet was calming and relaxing, tempting her to sleep even though she was not tired.
"Skadi, good to see you again," a familiar voice called out.
She spun on Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer and pranced to her, "Greetings, Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer. It is good to see you again too. Is Alpha away with his hatchling?"
"He is, but he will be here soon. It looks like you have changed much since last you were here."
She looked away and yawned, "I learned much about life and other people. I did not understand them for a very long time. Maybe I still do not."
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer sat down beside her, "Learning that others are complicated is part of being grown. I am not your Oldest-Knower, but I can speak with you if you want some flight-guiding."
She considered it. Oldest-Knower knew much, but the elder light wing did not know everything. Hearing another perspective could not hurt. Plus, it was not as though Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer had any power over her or could compel her to do anything.
"Sure. At least until Alpha gets here," she proposed.
"You sound like you are not happy or warm. What is not good about your life? Do you know?" Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer asked.
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer's question showed that she understood there was a problem. Maybe she could give useful advice.
"For one, I learned that my pack has a tradition of not mixing with other kin. I am a mixed-kin to them, so none in my pack want to consider me as a possible mate.
"Understandable. We have the same tradition."
She held in the growl of frustration while trying to not think about that life-problem.
"My friends do not want me anymore, and I did not understand them like I thought I did. I also better understand that Alphas and those who want power are not kin I should trust."
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer shrugged, "There is a balance. The life-problems you mentioned are ones I have heard before from others. Have you spoken with yourself as I suggested?"
She snorted, "I tried a blue mushroom long ago, but I do not know what to think about what I saw. It did not help at all."
"What did you see, if you do not mind talking about it?"
"I saw much that had no lift. There were ranges I have never seen before. There was... another me. A shadow-me."
"Was there? Did it speak to you?"
"It said that everyone is a monster."
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer chuffed, "Then it speaks truth. We are all monsters."
"What? How can you think that?" she hissed, indignant.
"All it takes for that monster-life to hatch in you is one bad waking-cycle when you learn that life is not fair. The idea of fair is only a way for the weak to claim power over the strong. There is only one choice once you learn that. Embrace power or weakness. That other you, your shadow-you, is power. The more powerful you are, the easier it is to let the monster take over, and the worse it is when that happens," Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer answered.
That part about power and being a monster she could understand and agree with. The bigger, stronger, and more confident males were more powerful and could hurt others more easily. They were dangerous. But it was still excessive to say that everyone could become a monster.
"You do not believe me when I say that all are monsters, do you?" Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer chuffed.
"No, those words are too flailing and weak. This does not help with my life-problems either."
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer started pacing, "True, that is a different topic. Maybe you still need to see what you fear most. Seeing and knowing that fear can help you learn the truth about yourself."
"Is this the same as the blue mushroom? It did not help last time," she snorted.
"It is like that and also different. Nothing is more liver-chilling or terrifying than to face that darkest and deepest fear hidden inside your life-fire. Do you want to hear the suggestion?"
"Why not?" she shrugged.
They paused, hearing wings approaching. Alpha arrived and touched down nearby.
"I will tell you after," Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer whispered and wandered off to let her speak with Alpha.
"Skadi, warm hunts to you," Alpha purred.
"And to you, Alpha. How is your hatchling?" she purred in greeting.
"Well enough. She always wants to play, and I do what I can with the time I have."
She winced and forced a purr.
"Why are you here?" Alpha asked.
"My Alpha wanted you to know that Ice-Water-Pack did a pack-split. We let some of our own leave and take the range the hunter-kin claimed before. The pair who left your pack decided to stay in Ice-Water-Pack."
He hummed in curiosity, "Why? I heard that they wanted to go to the new range."
"Because the new Alpha of New-Strength-Pack might be dangerous. That Alpha might also want to grow his strength over the pack too much."
"He would want to think that about others. What about you? Do you agree that the new Alpha is a threat?" Alpha hissed.
"Yes, I saw that myself. He almost hurt a female of my pack... very badly," she calmly answered.
Alpha growled, "Good to know. We will keep safe all flights to that range while trying to have peace with them."
"Do you have anything you want my Alpha to hear? Any problems between our packs?" she asked.
"None that he does not already know. The balance of trade is fair, and we have no news to share. Take my good wishes to your Alpha for me."
"I will."
She stepped back from him and briefly took flight to find Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer and finish their conversation.
"Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer, you were going to suggest something," she asked after landing.
"You might remember that I learned from a not-kin-hunting kin. She is... different in many ways, but she might give you the flight-guiding you need. Do you want that?"
It was an appealing offer. To meet a strange kin she had never seen before was worth doing, especially if it might help her learn something about her life. She was also curious about what kind of kin it was.
"Sure. Please tell me where that kin is."
"It is far from here: past the new range your pack split into, over the waters the great-tusks once swam in, beyond a range where different kin eat and throw crashing light, and then into a dark chamber with mist. Bring a fish or other prey for her as a gift. She is the only of her kind in that chamber, or maybe in all the ranges."
"Is she dangerous?"
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer grumbled in thought before answering, "Yes, Reflection is dangerous. But any hurts you or any kin get in that chamber will not come from her."
"How different is she? Can she speak? She must if you learned from her."
Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer chuffed, "She is strong-thinking like us, and only speaks with thought-voice. How different is she? I will let you learn that yourself. Warm flights to you, and may you hunt the answers if you seek for them."
She watched Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer trot away. As usual, the eldest one in the pack was not being very clear in the answers she gave, which was frustrating.
She took flight and turned for Ice-Water-Pack while considering her options. Life-Fire-Speaker-Gatherer said many twisted things, but the light wing appeared to truly believe what she said.
The mention of a strange kin, a kin-hunting kin who chose to live differently and not hunt kin, made her very curious. She also had a good idea where to find that kin, if she ever wanted to fly that way.
The long flight would be past New-Strength-Pack, over many waters, past more strange kin which could eat and throw crashing light, and then into the chamber where Reflection lived, far beyond the known ranges she or even the Far-Fliers of Ice-Water-Pack had flown into recently.
Hearing that a kin-hunting kin could be different and not dangerous to kin was also reassuring. There was hope for the two stinging-tail hunter-kin hatchlings to do the same. Also, the mention that Reflection had thought-voice had to be important. The only kin with thought-voice like hers were herself, her sire-father, the great-tusk she met, and whatever Reflection was.
Two of the Young-Watchers were always following the hunter-kin hatchlings while awake and reluctantly watched over them in sleep. None in the pack deeply cared for them, certainly because they were not light wings or part of the pack. It did not help that they could not truly speak with words. They were only a test and a chance for something new and different to happen.
She relieved Seventh-Young-Watcher of her duties and joined Eighth-Young-Watcher in watching the two hatchlings, who were snapping at each other in play.
"How are they?"
"Same as always: learning to be hunters," Eighth-Young-Watcher grumbled.
"They are playing. All young do that."
Eighth-Young-Watcher huffed, "They will try to hunt us when they are bigger."
She was not sure what to say to reassure the light wing. Hers was a very fair fear. Hunter-kin would grow up to... hunt kin; doing that is what they knew in their livers. Even these ones would have that in-hatched wanting.
Could a life change what it was? Could it change its nature and learn another way? That is what they were a test of. She had heard of one such example of a kin living a different way.
"Not if we teach them well enough to think of us as their kin."
She gazed at the two hatchlings, both a mix of red and brown in their scales and hides. Her life-fire touched theirs to directly share thoughts.
'Little hunters, you have a chance to be our kin. Do not be bad!'
They paused in their playing and hopped to her while mewling. Their life-fires touched hers as did their more twisted thoughts.
'Hunt play fun learn hunt play fun fight learn play fun!'
She hummed and purred, 'Good enough for now. Just stay that warm to us when you are bigger and better hunters.'
Keeping them content was easy now, but what about later when they grew as big as a light wing? They would not have spoken words like the light wings did. If these hatchlings could not learn to be kin to light wings, so it would be. Still, she hoped that they could, if for no other reason than they were small and playful now. They were not her hatchlings, but she had been the one to suggest this to First-Fighter and to Alpha.
Uninterested by her, the hatchlings dashed away together to hunt tiny four-legs in the forest. She and Eighth-Young-Watcher dutifully followed after them.
A nibbling idea bit her liver. What if she had wanted to save these lives to make them like her hatchlings in a very twisted or distant way? She did not think that was her true reason, but maybe it was a hidden reason.
"Are you sure you do not fear this?" Alpha purred in reassurance.
She chuffed, amused by his concern for her, "I do not fear meeting them. I will have Fighters and Far-Flying-Females with me. He will keep the pack-peace or else."
She did not need to tell him the other reason why his sending her to do this was appropriate. It was mocking in a way which former Second-Fighter and Red could not reply to. Ice-Water-Pack could send whomever Alpha chose as the representative and peacemaker.
"Very well. Learn what you can of New-Strength-Pack for me. I want to know if he is being bad to that pack."
"I will. What would you do if he is being bad to them?"
"I am not sure, but I would need to be careful about it. His hurting his own packmates could make the pack less stable, which could impact my pack too. On the other paw, letting Alphas of other packs know that I would change balance of power in another pack could be bad and make them not trust me."
That was a fair concern. One pack involving itself in what happens in another pack had to be done very carefully, if it was done at all.
Alpha roared, calling a pawful of his Fighters, including First-Fighter, and another pawful of Far-Flying-Females. Having First-Fighter going with was especially reassuring since he was a very good fighter and was loyal to Alpha.
She joined them in the sky and turned for the far passageways leading to that far range now claimed by New-Strength-Pack. She turned her thoughts to the coming meeting. Hopefully nothing too bad would happen.
Further, there would certainly be a chance to confront Red and get answers about why she did what she did.
The range itself looked no different, still as green and filled with plants and prey as before. The thick layer of trees and mushrooms passed underwing as her flight continued into the center of the range. Two of the other pack's Far-Flying-Females and one of the Fighters took to the sky and followed their flight.
She knew this destination very well, having fought in these caves herself. The caves which the stinging-tail hunter-kin had lived in were good caves to claim after being cleaned of anything foul.
The flight touched down outside the cave-mouth. She sat down and waited as her Fighters and Far-Flying-Females pranced up next to her.
"I am Second-Fighter of New-Strength-Pack," one of the pack's males said.
She purred softly in reply, only briefly considering how pack-role naming ceremonies could be confusing. This male was nothing like the Second-Fighter she knew, at least not in this light wing's presence and way of talking to her.
"I am Peacemaker-Skadi of Ice-Water-Pack, as you know. We welcome you as once-pack-kin and ask to be so welcomed."
"So you are welcome with us. Let me bring Alpha and his mates," Second-Fighter said before flying off over the trees.
They settled down to wait. Meanwhile, more of this new pack arrived and began speaking and mingling with former pack-kin. That was good of them. Ensuring ongoing peace and trusting between the packs was good and part of why they came here at all. The Far-Flying-Females began talking as if they were one flight and nothing had changed. She listened in, overhearing everything she could.
The Alpha did have three mates, having a She-Far-Flier as his Second-Mate and a Plant-Grower as his Third-Mate. The other ten light wings had paired off as expected since they were matched in numbers. Several of the pairs were trying for eggs, now that the egg-making restrictions they had lived under were gone, and also because this pack needed to be more in number as soon as they could. The range had plenty of space and food for the pack to grow several times in size. Everything appeared to be going well for New-Strength-Pack.
Finally, the light wings she had to meet and most disliked needing to meet flew in and touched down several hops away. The new Alpha and Red walked together.
"Welcome to New-Strength-Pack. Why have you flown to us?" Alpha calmly growled in greeting while glaring at her.
She did not bend her head toward him. That might have been a slight fouling of the greeting-ceremony, but she did not care. Rather, she purred softly while looking to the other gathered light wings.
"Alpha of Ice-Water-Pack wanted me to extend pack-peace to your pack. He also wanted me to tell you, Alpha, that Ice-Water-Pack would be willing to trade with your pack if you need anything you do not have."
"Such as?" he almost sneered.
"Fish, mostly. The best waters for catching fish are with Ice-Water-Pack, as you know."
"What would your Alpha want in return?"
"We could agree on something. Maybe your pack could share knowledge about plants and other ranges. Maybe something else."
"Let me think on that offer. We can talk more on our own if you want," he nodded toward the thick forest.
She was not afraid that he would try to hurt her, not now that she was here in a pack-role for Ice-Water-Pack. However, being alone with him at all felt like a twisted idea. He could make problems by claiming that she did something provocative or said something. No, it was better to stay here where others in the pack could always see her. There would be no doubting what she had done this way.
"We can talk here, if you want. I am not a Fighter, and we both remember that some of us have almost gotten hurt in this range before," she chuckled.
"Are not saying that I cannot keep safe my own range?" he countered.
"Not at all. You and your other Fighters would fight to keep your range safe, but we both know that accidents can happen in fights."
He blinked and purred, almost showing his teeth, "They can. You might be curious to know that there are other light wings here with us. They joined the pack after hearing how good our pack is."
"Did they? Good for them."
"You and your flight are welcome to rest in this range as our guests until you are ready to fly back to your pack."
"My thanks, Alpha of New-Strength-Pack."
"If there is anything I can do for you, just let me know."
"I doubt there is, but I will let you know."
Alpha glanced at Red, apparently his First-Mate, "My First-Mate wants to talk to you as kin from before."
He departed. More talking and bonding between the groups started after he left. The former packmates greeted each other familiarly, sharing stories and hearing what had happened since the departure.
Red stood before her, calmly staring back at her. Without waiting for Red to speak, she slowly started for a clearing several bounds away where they could speak alone while being in full view of everyone else.
"Red, greetings to you."
"And to you, Skadi. How go your flights?"
She sat down and stared into the distance, "I have a new pack-role now: Peacemaker. It is like being a Far-Flier, except I fly on my own more."
"Good for you, I suppose. I guess you have not found a mate yet, am I right?" Red asked.
Red had to bring up that nibbling point. Was it an innocent question, or was it meant to hurt? Probably the latter. Red would want to stick a claw deep and start digging around just to make it hurt.
"No, I have not."
Red shrugged, "I do not understand you. You made a mistake earlier."
She snorted and started pacing, "Nor do I understand you, Red. Who do you think I would want a male who tried to force me?"
"Because he is strong and will be Alpha for a long time. Would you prefer a weak Alpha? You wanted an egg before."
"That was then. I do not want one anymore."
Red stared at her paws and chuckled, "I cannot fly far now because I am with egg."
She stepped back in surprise, staring at Red, "Are you? How long until you drop it?"
"This is my first egg, so I do not know for certain."
She very much doubted that Red knew how to be a good dam-mother. The life-lessons that Red was sure to teach were rotted and twisted. It was also wrong that Red had ended up apparently happy here. It was not fair at all!
"You have my sympathies that this happened," she whispered.
Red warbled in confusion, "What? Why? I wanted an egg."
"I was not talking to you."
"Then who were you-"
Red recoiled in open shock and bared her teeth when she understood, "How could you say that?"
"You heard me the first time. I feel chilled for your future hatchling that it will have one as rotted as you as its dam," she calmly answered without otherwise reacting.
"What? What is so rotted about me? I only understand how life truly is! I protect myself!" Red protested, visibly confused.
"There is more than only power and making yourself more. There is the good of the pack and doing good for others."
"The pack only is to serve the Alphas. Good is whatever is useful and gets me what I want," Red retorted.
She paused for a moment, "Tell me what happened to you. Why do you think so differently from the rest of the pack, and try to use others? Why is your thought so twisted?"
Red growled, started pacing, and sneered, "You do not know?"
"That is why I asked."
"That shows how close kin you were to me and the others, to not know that about me."
She inwardly winced at that accusation, though she would not let Red know that the remark had bite. Instead, she did not react. It was not fair at all of Red, since she had asked Red what had happened in the past. Red had not confided anything before.
Red softly growled, "My dam was force-mated and hurt by the last Alpha. My sire-"
"Did nothing to help her?" she interrupted.
Red snorted, "No, he did fight for her. That Alpha beat him in the fight and had his Fighters force-mate him as punishment. A male who lost a fight and was force-mated. Worthless. My sire is useless, weak, and pathetic. Neither my sire nor my dam could bite back after that, and no others wanted to fight and risk their own hides."
While that news about her sire and dam was bad, it was not clear why Red was so twisted because of it.
"What happened?"
Red paused and stared into the distance, "The Alpha was killed, and my sire and dam had me life-making cycles later. I still do not know how he and she found the wanting to be together. From what I have heard, he cannot perform well. Maybe she had someone else make the egg with her. I do not know. The only good thing they ever did for me was they taught me that I must get power in the pack and keep safe my status. All others in the pack are only there for me to use. None of them would defend me, so I had to look out for myself."
"That is very rotted and false. Others would defend you. I would have!" she objected.
"No, Skadi. You think too much of yourself. Trusting others is for the weak and foolish. I just live how life forces me to live. None of us can choose what we are."
"Wrong."
Red shrugged, "You wanted a place in Ice-Water-Pack, so you made yourself useful to them. If you want my advice-"
She turned her shoulder on Red, "I do not."
"Even so, I will give it to you. You should go become your Alpha's Third-Mate if he will have you. Make an egg with him. Keep your status in that pack as one of the highest females, probably even his most preferred one. Use everything about yourself, as I do."
She snorted, knowing what Red was suggesting she do: use mating for status, influence, and power over others.
"How is that working for you? Do you not care about him being with Second and Third also?"
Red idly licked a paw, "Males are so easy to use. Just know what to say to them, offer yourself to the right ones, and you can use them to get what you want. No, I do not mind sharing him."
She stepped back and stretched her limbs. Talking to Red left her feeling dirty, as if she needed to wash some dirt off.
"For now he listens to you. That will not always be true, but your life-flight is yours to fly. You choose to fly it with a monster."
Red huffed, "What is a monster? He is a strong Alpha and is good to us, to me really."
She avoided answering that question of what a monster was. There was no need to answer something so obvious. Any good-thinking kin knew a monster when they saw one!
"Maybe not now. Just wait. You will see what is truly in his liver. He will prove that he is false to you."
With that, she left Red behind and returned to her flight. Everyone was settling down for a nap before the return flight, though a couple of the flight would be staying awake as guards.
She watched as Red glided down into the former hunter-kin nest.
It was very unlikely that Alpha or Red would do anything to break the newly made pack-peace. However, caution was not a bad idea either.
She had problems falling into her nap though. It felt wrong that someone as twisted as Red could get an egg so easily while she herself had no prospects of getting any interest.
Except for that offer from her Alpha, anyway. He was nothing like Second-Fighter. Maybe that offer was one to reconsider. The memories of the threat that Second-Fighter had posed were still there, fouling such interest. Further, having two other females share him was not the best situation, but it might be acceptable if she got most of what she wanted.
But what was it she wanted?
She was back in her pack, having enjoyed many, many waking-cycles of peace and nothing special. The rest of the pack was very eager for this pack-ceremony though.
The contests to determine the new pack-order were the most important pack event held every life-making cycle. The only difference this time was that one more pair was to be allowed to make an egg. The ten and four who had left the pack, combined with the better trade with the other packs, meant that one more egg could be made and still have stable numbers.
Alpha had decided, after talking with her and Oldest-Knower, that the Far-Flying-Females would be the first female pack-role to have egg-making power through their order. Whichever female was highest in that order and did not already have a little one would have an egg-making right with her mate. If that female's male was also selected through his pack-role, then the next female in the order would get the fight instead.
Not only was this good in that it gave females more power in the pack, but it also made the stronger and more liver-flamed females more desirable. A light wing could have two chances to be an egg-maker, through his or her own status or through his or her mate's status.
They had also talked about changing the ceremony to bounce between having males determine the egg-makers one life-making cycle and having the females do the same the next life-making cycle. A change that big would be more difficult to make happen and would need a lot more agreement in the entire pack, but it was a good goal to work towards.
She glanced at the rows of eagerly observing light wings while the Fighters continued. Some of the observers were making guesses at who would win, and those guesses had rewards of promised fish, grooming, or other good things. There was some fun in trying to guess the outcomes, but she did not care as much as the rest of the pack did.
The final contest was finally finished, and Alpha and his mates hopped onto a rock to conclude the pack-order ceremony.
"The pack-order ceremony is finished! Now I would speak to all the pack about another matter! I have heard that some of you were not happy with me and did not approve of me as Alpha!"
She glanced around at everyone and saw only confusion.
"Some of those who left us were planning violence against us. Disagreement and not trusting the Alpha only causes problems and can make packs break and suffer! We do not want that! From now on, all packmates must promise me, my mates, and the pack that they will be loyal to the Alpha! Come forward and bend the wing, or you must leave us!"
One at a time everyone else went forward to bend a wing to him out of deference. She followed, though the idea of bending a wing or bowing to anyone felt twisted. It was probably a good ceremony for everyone else, since they should be loyal and obedient to the Alpha.
She stood before his rock, but he snorted and pointed aside with his tail.
"No need from you, Skadi," he whispered.
Approving of his trust in her, she trotted back to everyone else and waited until the last present packmate had bowed.
Satisfied, he raised his voice, "You all saw your promises! Let me know if you hear any whispering or hissing against me or any of your leaders. We will reward you if you help keep the peace in the pack!"
That had lift as far as she could see. Dissent only caused instability, and getting packmates to report on each other would help keep everyone honest and peaceful.
She purred with a warmed liver when she saw that Blue and his mate were among the pairs with an egg-making right. He had been selected from his status in the Fish-Hunters. Her help and lessons had probably gotten him to his place as the Second-Fish-Hunter. That was all very good for him.
She considered returning to her cave to sleep. Instead, she turned her flight for Alpha's light-rock and, more importantly, for Oldest-Knower's ledge.
'Oldest-Knower!'
She touched down and pranced to Oldest-Knower while the elder light wing got to her paws after landing there.
"Stupid paws! Remember that more of your body stops working when you get older," Oldest-Knower huffed.
"I did not know that," she chuckled, sitting down before her.
"It does. Do you have a question for me?"
"I do. Do you know what Alpha offered me after the pack-split?"
"No, what did he say?"
"I had asked him to make an egg with me long before, and he had said he would not because I reminded him of his lost fledgling. After the pack-split, he told me that he would do that for me if I wanted. He also offered to name me his Third-Mate."
Oldest-Knower looked uncertain about something, "What do you think of that?"
She paused before answering, "It is a fair offer by him to ignore the pack's no-mixing custom for me. He would be good and respectful to me, but…"
She got up and went over to the edge of Oldest-Knower's ledge while the elder light wing came to sit beside her. Being away from the pack might help her find answers.
"I am not sure about the offer. For now, I want to go on a long flight, just myself. That will not be a problem for the pack, will it?"
Oldest-Knower yawned, "You are not one of our pack-role leaders, so you are free to fly as you wish. Will you tell Alpha that you are leaving us for a time?"
"Sure. I will let him know after I leave you."
"How long will you be gone?"
She thought about how long the flight would be, "Ten waking-cycles? More. Less. Somewhere around there."
"Very well. I wish you a warm flight and hope you catch the answers you are hunting."
She bent her head in respect to Oldest-Knower and flew off in search of Alpha. As she expected, she found him in the warm range. He was there sharing news with the packmates who had been in the warm range and not been present for the pack-order ceremony.
'Alpha!'
He bounded to her after she touched down, "Skadi! Warm flights to you!"
"And to you, Alpha. Can we speak on our own?"
He started for a clearing near the thicker forest, "One of your friends, Second-Fish-Hunter, was chosen this time as an egg-maker."
She shrugged, "Good for him. I wanted to tell you that I will be away from the pack for a while. There are… answers I need to go find. I will be away almost ten waking-cycles, more or less."
She avoided mentioning that part of what she was thinking about was his offer for her to become one of his mates. He did not need to know that until she was sure what she wanted.
He hummed, "Fine. Thank you for telling me. You can keep yourself safe out there. I wish you a warm and safe flight."
She purred in thanks and took flight without looking back. Nothing was on her mind right now except getting rest in her cave-den and then a long flight which would hopefully help her figure out her life.