Author's Note – A slight spoiler which I have privately shared with some reviewers, this should be about the low point for Skadi in various ways (both perception of her motivations as well as her actual situation), not that everything will immediately become ideal.
Betrayal
"Wake up!" one of the Fighter-guards shouted.
She groaned, wearily getting to her paws and looking up the slope. Two Fighters were up there, peering over the edge of the slope by the small stream.
"What?" she asked.
"Alpha has a gift for you! He wanted to thank you for the fun he had!"
How long ago was that? A waking-cycle? Two? It was long enough that hunger had returned. Simple, normal hunger.
The Fighters tossed two fish which fell off the slope and hit the ground with a pair of thuds. Two plump fish were not entirely enough, but they were better than nothing. The Fighter-guards departed.
She went to the fish, reached for them, and paused, suspicious at how plump the fish were. Would the Alpha really give her the best fish, or would he keep the best for himself. The latter for sure.
She glanced up to the ledge, confirmed she was not being watched, cut open the fish, and found that they were stuffed with pink berries, some already crushed open. Which ones were those?
After a moment of reflection, they were probably the berries which she had been told could cause recent thought-losses or confusion. There must be a reason why the Alpha had someone go to the bother of collecting individual berries and stuffing them in the fish.
As he did not know about her powers other than thought-speak, he could not be intentionally trying to prevent her from using them. Or maybe he guessed that she could do more because of what her sire-father could do. Even if he had guessed, how could he know that the berries had any effect on her?
Over by the deep hole at the back of the trap-cave, she carefully removed the berries and nosed them away before eating the fish.
Confirmation that the fish had been fouled gave her a likely explanation of what had happened. The first fish which Sway had brought her had to have been fouled the same way as these. But, if so, that would be a very fast effect for the berries to have on thinking. It was also possible that they had given her crushed berries while she was knocked out, or she truly could not remember when it happened.
The other possibility was that being hit in the head hard enough could block her powers, but that did not feel correct. There was still a faint headache, though not nearly as bad as before.
Whichever was correct, it would probably take time before that effect wore off.
Even without powers, she had a good idea how many Fighters he had assigned to keeping her trapped. There were five Fighter-guards, which was most of his personal Fighter-guards, who had shown up so far to check on her, though she was not sure how many of them were up there at any one time. They had a routine and came to inspect the trap at regular intervals. That was at least a start to figuring out how to escape.
She stirred, hearing motion above. A subtle glance was enough to confirm that it was him. Deep breaths followed as she tried to stay calm. He was sure to come down here and attack her again. No way out of the trap-cave. No escape. Fight and resist or-
Patience.
Let him believe her life-fire was cold and that she was no threat. Let him think he was in control of everything.
She got her breaths under control. He said he would have questions for her, and it was obvious what he would demand her to reveal. Someone had told him that she was plotting against him. He would want to know everything about the plan and who else was involved.
He had not yet hopped down, as if he was waiting for something or someone, probably one of his guards to watch over him. Sure enough, someone else arrived and began speaking with him, their hushed voices unclear over the waterfall outside the cave. She recognized the new speaker as his son, First-Fighter.
"… hasty… it," First-Fighter hissed.
"She… protecting…" Alpha answered.
"Why would… did you listen?"
Alpha growled, "She will… for her."
First-Fighter huffed, retreated, and sat down on the ledge. Alpha leaped down and approached her, his eyes narrowed as she got to her paws.
"Sleep well?" he growled.
"Not too bad…"
"Good. We can do this the easy way or not. It depends on you."
She backed up a step, "What do you want?"
"Tell me who you were conspiring with. Tell me the plan. Talk, and it will be much better for you."
Betraying First-Hunter and the others Hunters and Hunter-Helpers was not an option. Turning in any of her allies and conspirators would be wrong and terrible. He needed to hear an answer that would satisfy him. There was the problem that she could not name whoever had betrayed her. He might not believe her if she did not name that betrayer, whoever it was.
But she had come up with one explanation he could probably believe but also not be able to do anything about. The lie only needed to gain her time.
She remained silent for a few wingbeats to make it look like she was conflicted and struggling.
"I… there were a few Far-Fliers and Helpers who might have eventually listened. But none of them are important. The real plan was… was…" she mumbled.
He stepped closer, "Yes?"
She looked down to her paws, "Do you remember how I flew to the dark wing pack, Shadow-Spark-Pack, the one beyond other light wings?"
"What about them?"
"I have been working with those dark wings in secret."
"What?" he barked, visibly surprised.
"They are angry with you for turning tail on them and not helping protect them long ago."
He growled, "That was my sire! He broke the agreement! What were you doing for them? Tell me everything!"
"They... want to force your pack out so they can take your territory for their own. My purpose was... to break your pack apart by making you all fear two-legs and by threatening your status, even taking your place if I could. In the confusion afterwards, they could attack in surprise, or I could let them in."
He spun away and snarled as he paced, "I knew it! I knew they were planning against me! How long until they attack?"
She whimpered, "I was to send a Far-Flier to them after I became the new Alpha or made enough confusion here. They will not do anything until they hear from me. They are patient."
"Good. We have time to prepare."
"We?"
He paused in his pacing and faced her, "I am willing to forgive your mistakes once you prove yourself. You were not thinking well. Maybe those Alphas tricked you into obeying."
"They made me offers. I wanted a place to live and be accepted," she lied.
He resumed pacing, softly growling, "I could send a Far-Flier to them with news from you, and you could help me trick those Alphas and make them fly into a trap. But I have to prepare first. You help me, and I will reward you."
"How?" she asked, feigning interest.
"If you prove your loyalty, you will be free of this cave, I will have you as one of my mates with all the status and privilege that gives, and I will let you raise our hatchlings. How does that sound?"
Foul, twisted, wrong, no. Never.
"Good. I… will help you," she whispered.
He slowly approached while she remained still. She did not move as he breathed heavily above her, only to lick her neck. Was he actually trying to be gentle after everything he had already done? Was he so thought-rotted that he believed he could make her want to be with him?
"See how easy that was? Perhaps I was too angry with you earlier. Does anything hurt?"
"Only a little."
"Then I will have more pain-helping plants brought to you. More fish too. I am generous."
"Do you... want anything else right now?" she asked, worried.
"No, you have done enough. I will leave you alone for ten waking-cycles. Consider it a gift."
He took flight and vanished above with First-Fighter.
Alone, she relaxed and sighed in relief that he was gone and had not forced himself on her again. He had believed the lie. Even better, he likely would keep his word and leave her alone as promised, as had to know he needed her help with whatever plan he came up with.
Had that worked with any of his other mates? Had he hurt them and twisted their thinking into seeing him as a generous Alpha or the only possibility for them to have security? He probably had done that at least once, not that their actions in supporting him were excused.
The dark wing pack was too big for him to threaten with his Fighters and Far-Fliers. There was nothing he could do against the dark wings except perhaps set a trap for their Alphas. Defiance and Branch-Biter were already suspicious of the light wing pack, and they would not fly into a trap.
Most importantly, the supposed plan against his rule by a power outside the pack had gotten him thinking about threats beyond instead of within. Pointing a paw at an enemy beyond was effective at diverting suspicion, even when that supposed enemy was too powerful to act against. The lie only needed to last long enough for her to recover her strength, escape, and act against him.
"Skadi!" a muffled voice called out from above.
She yawned and got to her paws, straining to listen for whoever had called for her. Had one of her allies found out about her? Had they come to fight off the Fighter-guards? There was a chance.
No, it was none of them. She saw a female light wing with a prominent spot on her hide perched on the ledge above.
Spot hopped down, landed, and calmly approached with a large branch she recognized as from a hurt-helping-plant.
"Everything makes sense now," Spot hummed, setting aside the branch.
"What?" she asked.
"He told us what you were really doing here. I did not think you had a reason to be here, though I suppose they would want to strike back at us. They wronged us too. Anyway, you had us all tricked."
So the Alpha had told his mates the lie she shared, and he had believed it.
Spot chuffed, "Oh, we can talk freely. I helped convince him to give you another chance."
She lay her head on her paws and sighed, "I should thank you for that."
Spot hummed, "You should be grateful he wants you so much."
"Lucky me," she grumbled.
Spot waved a paw at her back and side, "He did not hurt you too much I hope. Alphas will be Alphas, after all."
She sighed, "Not too badly. Only a few more hurt-marks."
"Good. He can get carried away when he is angry. You do not want to know what some of us had to do."
Part of her was morbidly curious what could have been worse than being forced, but perhaps it was a relief that her powers were still weak and not answering her. Further, she did not even need powers to see through Spot's pretend care and kindness. None of it was genuine.
"What did you mean by the dark wing pack wronged you?" she asked.
Spot growled, "They took the dark-light mixed-kin with them. I might be one, but not enough that it matters. He told us that you will help against the dark wings."
"When he tells me what to do," she said.
"What did they offer you that we did not?"
She shrugged, "It was more that they were the first pack I met, and I was afraid to turn tail on them. Did he say what he will do about the dark wings?"
"Only that he is having the Fighters practice more so they can be ready. Fighting another pack like that one is dangerous, so he does not want to act too fast."
"Understandable. That pack is powerful. Did he say who turned on me and told him what I was doing?"
"No, he did not mention anyone turning on you."
What? There had to be someone who had betrayed her. He even said that someone told him what was happening.
She nodded toward the discarded branch, "Why did you bring that?"
"I thought you might want some if he had been especially rough."
That could not be Spot's true motivation. Even if Spot was acting out of any pity, it was still an attempt to influence her and gain her favor on Alpha's behalf.
She forced a soft purr of apparent gratitude.
Spot retreated, "You should be fine if you do not make any more mistakes."
Spot flew up to the ledge and departed.
She considered what Spot's brief visit had meant. It had to be on Alpha's instructions to get more information from her while also making her want to trust Spot or be loyal to him.
She swam and kicked, chasing after the big fish! Dam-mother would be so very proud of her once she caught the fish!
Sire-father's voice echoed from memory and from liver-warming dreams.
'Remember that hunters want to be unseen so they can strike with surprise.'
Hunting was hard, and the fish were fast, but she was getting faster! Bigger too! She could already swim deeper than dam-mother could!
This was very important. Showing dam-mother that she was strong and fast would make dam-mother proud of her. Dam-mother had been more distant, quieter and not being around her as much. She could still sleep under dam-mother's wing for bonding and warmth, but maybe dam-mother was disappointed with her somehow.
She lunged and caught the fish in her teeth!
Yes! I am a hunter!
Pleased with her success, she swam up to the surface, splashed out, and shook dry, all while clutching the thrashing fish. Dam-mother was further down the shore, talking to a small group of light wings from a distant pack.
What was dam-mother talking to them about? There was only one way to find out!
She trotted to them, proudly holding up her head to show off the big fish as she sat down beside dam-mother. Dam-mother kept speaking to the other light wings, two mate-pairs and several others. It was twisted seeing mate-pairs since it reminded her of... of...
Why had sire-father not come back? He said he would. Had he stayed away because of her? Was she bad somehow? Her inside-voice sometimes wondered if she was the reason he stayed away.
Interrupting dam-mother's talking would not be good of her, so she sat patiently, waiting for dam-mother to notice her. They were talking about strange things like a pack she had never been to, pack-roles, and other boring details.
The younger light wings, the fledglings, were off playing on their own. They did not care to play with her for some reason. They and others around their age never invited her to play. Playing with them would be fun.
One of the females finally noticed her and coughed, "Your daughter wants to show you something."
Dam-mother groaned and faced her, "What is it?"
She tossed the fish at dam-mother's paws and held herself proudly, "Look what I caught! All by myself!"
"Good. Well done. Go ahead and eat."
Dam-mother went back to talking to the other light wings about the pack they came from and whether that pack would accept new light wings.
Dam-mother had occasionally grumbled about wanting to go join another pack instead of being stuck between packs where she lived now. She had apparently promised sire-father that she would stay there with her until sire-father came back, or something like that.
She hung her head and stared at her paws. Nothing the adults were talking about was fun at all. None of them wanted to include her in their talks.
This was still a very good waking-cycle! Catching her first big fish on her own with no help from dam-mother was proof that she was growing into a hunter and was getting bigger!
Another waking-cycle passed without anything happening. No one even came to the trap-cave other than the guards on their regular routine.
She covered her head with her tailfins and exhaled, completely bored. There was nothing to do but try to sleep, wait for the delivery of fish, stare at the walls, and feel how disappointed sire-father would have been.
For his daughter to end up a mating-thrall to a twisted Alpha was completely wrong. She was nothing like her sire-father. Too weak.
He never doubted himself. He went to fight without questioning his ability. None could challenge him. How could she be anything like him?
Where had she gone wrong? Trying to influence Alpha through underpaw methods, using his interest toward her, was an obvious mistake which only left her vulnerable to him.
A hiss whispered that force of will over others was always going to be more effective.
Force of will over others? Over self? Both at the same time?
Where did strength grow from?
A twisted part of her life-fire pointed out that the safest option was easy to accept. Do not try to escape, forget the plan to replace him, accept her place as one of his mates, and be loyal to him. Forget the lurking threat of two-legs possibly doing terrible things in the ranges beyond. Forget everything. Forget herself.
'What has happened to you, little one? Why are you so small in your life-fire? You could be great like I was.'
His words, last heard in a twisted-vision, were no longer chilling. Instead, they were a challenge.
There was still a light inside her life-fire.
She took a deep breath, got to her paws, and growled at herself, upset at how weak her thinking had become. Asking how to be strong was a distraction from actually being strong. All she could do was try to be like him: brave, confident, certain, and unable to give up. No. Not even that was sufficient. Trying meant there was a possibility of failing. This was bigger than only her. The trapped light wings in this twisted pack needed protection and someone to fight for them. Everyone else needed protecting from threats they did not know about.
Belief and certainty were strength and power. Was confidence and belief in herself all that had been lacking?
Waking-cycles had passed since she last tried using life-will-powers. Perhaps fear of those powers being gone forever or always weakened had itself kept her from trying. Was fear the problem all along?
Fear prevented action.
She checked to see that she was alone, unfurled her wings, and felt for her powers. The haze and weariness that had been in her thoughts was not there this time. Her headache, which had been strongest the first pawful of waking-cycles in this trap, was gone.
Her wings dimly burned to life, glowing from within with a pale white light before she let that light fade and folded her wings.
No roaring of relief. No outward sign that anything had changed. Was it as simple as something she had eaten had fouled her thought and blocked her powers, only now that effect had faded with time? Had it been her headache? Was the actual problem fear and loss of trust in herself?
Whichever it was, the problem was no more. Her life-will-powers were not lost, which meant she could use them in her escape.
Was it necessary to fight the guards outside? The old lessons received in Ice-Water-Pack were still within memory, though she was out of practice. Being a little larger than a grown female light wing meant she could much more easily fight a male if she had a wingbeat to prepare. He had taken her by surprise. On the other paw, it was unclear how many guards there would be at any one time. Fighting two at once would be far more difficult than only one. Mistakes once she acted were unacceptable. There would only be one chance at this.
How to get past them with her powers? A subtle nudge or thought-whisper was unlikely to be enough. Was it possible to force them to obey a command to stand idle and let her walk free? It would surely take a great will to do anything-
Great-will. The great-tusk she met very far away had a great-will which let it control other kin and lead them. The power to force thoughts into the other kin's life-fire, to force it into a false-vision which let one take control and act through them.
She paused while pacing, worried about the plan. It was not certain that she could control them, this being the first time she would try. Further, using such a power was maybe dangerous, even if it was necessary in this situation. Being able to control and twist another kin's life-fire was like force-mating in that it took away all their power to act as they wanted. How could they resist twisted thoughts when they were their thoughts?
How could she use great-will?
No sooner had she asked her the question than the memory became clear. Looking into another kin's eyes was to see into their liver and life-fire. Ideas could be forced under the surface of their thoughts, or their life-fire twisted and controlled by those with enough strength of will over others. Make their wills her own. Replace their awareness with her own. Force them into false-visions so she could take control. Use them for all time. Kill anyone who-
No. Not that. Use them to get out of here, but no more. Wait to act after resting or act now? Had many waking-cycles had passed? Not ten, as he had not returned. The longer she waited, the more likely he would come back. But he was trying to win her favor, probably because he wanted her to truly be loyal and because he needed her help to deceive Shadow-Spark-Pack.
Could she control him too?
She considered that possibility. Every time she had tried to touch his life-fire had not worked well. As rotted and foul as he was, he was confident and sure of himself, which made him too strong to be thought-controlled. There was also the problem of needing to thought-control or influence him and his present guards and Fighters, which was probably more difficult.
Just get out, flee to her allies, and act together. There would be no turning back once she made her move, so being fully rested was important. The confidence that her powers were not lost would help her actually get sleep instead of restlessly lying around.
She took several deep breaths to steady herself. All the weariness was gone. She had eaten well the last waking-cycle, as he was being generous with fish, though she had to inspect and clean out each fish before eating.
It was time to act without hesitation or delay.
She flew up the steep slope. With a heavy crash which echoed in the trap-cave, she landed on the ledge and started up the main path to the left, the only place she could go. Two Fighter-guards were running toward her down the narrow path.
A quick touch of their life-fires was enough to know what they planned. Their orders were very simple: keep her trapped, using all necessary force. Their claws were out and teeth bared in display, as if that could be threatening.
She stretched out her wings and let them burn with blue and white light.
Both Fighters pulled up short and stared at her in open surprise and fear. Deep into their blue-green and yellow-red eyes. Simple life-fires which enjoyed having power over others. Fear of authority, of each other, and of making mistakes which would be noticed. Awe at and fear of their Alpha who entrusted them with special tasks, and whom they were dedicated to making pleased to keep their status and privileges.
Their fear was the best way to use them.
Memories twisted and spun into shape. She was finished checking on the prisoner held within the trap-cave, and now she had to report to Alpha what she had learned.
Both males stepped back, shook their heads, and whined in confusion. Their thoughts twisted and swirled, uncertain of what was true and what was not. But they knew that compliance was safest. Trusting authority was the way to advance in the pack. She was an authority working for their Alpha.
More practice using the great-will would certainly produce better, faster results.
"Is there a problem?" she asked.
They blinked and stepped aside.
"No, no problem. Is the prisoner behaving herself?" one of them asked.
"Yes, she knows her place. She is resting, so you both have time to rest too."
They both purred, pleased with that good news. Neither of them had any suspicions at all. How could they when their own memories betrayed them? All they could remember was that she was sent here to check on a captive.
However, the false memories were not being truly accepted by their life-fires and had to be continually maintained. Was it possible to permanently give them false-memories? Maybe, but she did not know how to do that. It was necessary to force the false-memories to stay there or they would quickly fade, leaving both Fighters aware of themselves again. They would understand how she tricked them soon after she left.
She strode past them without waiting any longer. Up the slope, along the small stream at the side of the cave, and toward the waterfall ahead. She paused before walking through. There were a couple additional guards outside, and that was far more of a problem.
It was difficult enough keeping two males confused, and she had been able to look them in the eyes first. That was unlikely for these ones. Sneaking past them was probably the best option.
Slowly and cautiously, she peered out through the water until the other two guards were visible. Neither of them were facing her way, instead staring into the distance or curled up for rest. Looking out also confirmed where this trap was: at the base of the tall ledge above which was the special territory the Alpha kept for himself and his kin. He would want to keep a special captive nearby.
While the confirmation was helpful, this also meant she had to fly all the way to one of the other ranges to meet with her allies. She was certain to be noticed. There was no opportunity to fade, as she had to exit through the waterfall first, and the water-chill would temporarily prevent fade.
Subtlety was not an option.
She strode through the waterfall, bounded out into the open, stretched her wings, and took flight. Roars of alarm and command followed immediately. The two other guarding Fighters had noticed her and were chasing. Her influence over the first two guards was entirely gone, faded with distance and lack of attention given to them.
A passing thought. She had enough of a lead that it was possible to escape by fleeing to the exit. Escape on her own? Doing that would be safest for sure and-
No, fleeing alone would be to betray everyone else here who trusted in her and agreed to take action. They needed her to help lead in the coming conflict. What Alpha would flee from conflict and let others do their fighting for them? Standing up for everyone here was a way to prove herself to them.
Racing over the fields of mushrooms and other plants, between columns of rock and light-rocks, over ponds, and into the next range, a pawful of Fighters were chasing after her. Anger, fear, and confusion burned in their livers.
Alpha was among them. Good! This would make it easier to find him and kill him!
Into the second range filled with the most fields of plants and mushrooms.
A shot of flame flew past her and exploded in the forest below. Alpha and several of the Fighters were shouting unclear, furious commands. Frustratingly, they were getting closer.
Her wings hurt from strain and possibly from lack of recent use. The pursuers were going to catch up to her eventually.
The massive hole into which most of the streams flowed was surrounded by rock perches which made as good a place for the confrontation as anywhere. So many light wings were already on the wing, coming from all directions. Normal Hunters, Far-Fliers, and Helpers of all kinds. Young, old, male, female, all drawn by the echoing roars and calls.
She heavily landed on the highest small perch above the swirling waters below. Many tens of the light wings were circling above in confusion, shouting at each other, and landing on surrounding rocks or mushrooms. Everyone had been drawn by the shouting, roaring, and her display of power-light.
Alpha crashed down the pillar across from her while other Fighters landed nearby, letting him be closest to her. His hate-filled eyes narrowed on her were hiding fear and disbelief.
She looked out to the other light wings gathered around them. Up on mushrooms, clinging to nearby rock-spires, atop nearby ledges, and across the swirling water-hole.
None of them knew what she was truly capable of.
'Light wings, your Alpha is a monster!'
All the muttering, hissing, and whispering stopped in a single wingbeat. All eyes narrowed on her. They all knew she was the one speaking to them.
'He uses you, fouls your lives, and makes you weak, all so he can keep power!'
Alpha recovered himself and roared, "Lies! You disturb the peace! You have been hurting the pack and breaking-"
'Be free of him and his kin!'
They saw visions of distant ranges filled with water, hunting, long flights, and other packs of light wings. Danger, opportunity, new territory, adventure, and freedom. Visions so different from what the stories of the Beyond would have these packmates believe. They were being lied to about how dangerous the Beyond was, all to keep them content here, and-
"Kill her! For the pack!" Alpha bellowed.
Silence followed, other than the constant crashing of the whirlpool below. No one initially moved. His guards and most loyal Fighters reacted first, roaring and jumping to attack her, forcing her to leap from the rock and take flight.
Confusion. Blasts of fire aimed at her. He and his loyal followers were not trying to capture her. All the better. He was only showing that he was afraid. Everyone else knew the truth! Even more packmates were flying in from distant ranges, attracted to all the wings, flaming, and noise.
She rolled and spun in a loop to dodge a pair of shots. Could normal kin-fire even hurt her wings? Better to not test that.
Where was everyone else? She recognized several of her allies below. First-Hunter, the other Hunters, and their Hunter-Helpers were arriving in a small group. Why were they not rising to join the fight?
She had to dive to avoid a Fighter who hurled himself at her.
With a brief moment in which to do so, she felt for the life-fires of the normal kin all around.
They were so afraid. Fearful of Alpha and his followers, fearful of the consequences of disobeying, and, most of all, fearful of everyone around them. They shuffled in place and wildly looked around at each other, shouting questions and voicing their confusion.
What was their problem?
All they had to do was act and they would-
A shot exploded so nearby that her ears were left buzzing and her flight was disturbed. Fighters and Alpha's guards were approaching on all sides, hounding her flight.
No one else was moving.
Terrible clarity.
They had no way to know for certain how many allies they had. Everyone was afraid of standing up and being the only one to oppose Alpha and his allies. Even First-Hunter and his secret group were not moving. Were they also too afraid? They knew fear for themselves and their hidden young who would be left without sire-fathers and dam-mothers if they rebelled and died.
They were all too afraid and worried about losing what little they had. They were too weak in the liver to act.
They betrayed themselves.
Trapped, Alpha's guards and a pawful of Fighters and Far-Fliers loyal to him were approaching on all sides. There was no time to wait for the others to find their courage. Her aching wings barely kept her in the sky.
"Go that way!" "From above!" "Kill her!"
Chaotic voices swirled all around, but among them all was the most-hated one. Alpha was roaring for her death.
No way out.
Betrayed through fear.
Nowhere left to go.
The water below swirled down into the hungry hole in the ground.
A last option for escape. It was terribly risky and likely to end in death. No one knew where the water went. The water could flow somewhere without any air at all.
But a chance of surviving was better than the alternative.
With only wingbeats to spare, she dove. None of the light wings were close enough to catch her.
The rushing and crashing waters drowned out the furious voices above.
Louder and louder as water sprayed over her.
A last, deep breath before falling into the rushing water.
Water swirling and flowing with such speed.
An irresistible current, making her tumble head over tail.
Her paw struck a rock, slicing through the hide and surely drawing life-water.
Her life-organ beating furiously against the fear.
Spinning and confusion.
Bumping against rocks worn smooth by the water.
What was up? Down?
Time was unclear. Constant spinning.
Swimming lessons in which she helped teach Blue where to catch fish. Meeting the great-tusk for the first time in the open deeps. Dam-mother teaching her how to catch fish and provide for herself.
The water slowed slightly, more flowing than it was crashing and swirling.
Breath. How much was left now? Enough. Not enough. No way to know.
The cold water flowed even slower with every frantic beat of her life-organ.
Air and breath. Now! No time to lose.
Swimming and kicking up, if that direction was up.
Her head broke the surface, letting her gasp for breath.
Many wingbeats passed just floating in the water with the gentle current, catching her breath until thought became clearer again and she opened her eyes to observe her surroundings.
Total absence of light.
Nothingness.
Even life-fire sight revealed nothing except the smallest of water-life. That was not much to follow, but it could reveal where there was solid ground as a line where the water-life ended.
She slowly swam across the gentle current. Finally, the small water-life ended in a slope ahead, and her paws touched rock. Her limbs shaking, she crawled onto solid ground, shook dry, and collapsed in place.
It all happened so fast. Too fast. Her allies sat motionless, none of them moving a paw even after they heard her call and saw her defiance. How could they be blamed for not knowing how many thought as they did? Part of the protection for all before removing him was that they were not supposed to know who else agreed to act. No one conspirator could tell on all, but that protection also meant they did not know how strong they were or could be together.
Too weak and weary to move, she looked around for any flame of life. There was nothing larger than a tiny bug anywhere nearby.
Weary, she curled up under a wing and closed her eyes, not that doing so changed anything compared to having her eyes open.
Lost in the darker and deeper ranges, the only goal was to survive.