Mercy
She flew ahead of First-Fighter, First-Far-Flier, her guards, and other Fighters and Far-Fliers. Both of her guards were feeling better, though they had initially been upset that they were taken by surprise. Sixth had even been whining like a hatchling seeking attention. She had reassured them that they were not at fault and had not failed her. Still, they both had promised that they would do better in the future.
She led everyone down the narrow cave, above the misty waters, and out into the largest range which touched many others and always had kin flying to somewhere.
A large and rocky level loomed ahead on the edge of New-Flame-Pack's territory. A pawful of dark wings perched on the ledge while warily glaring at the light wings, almost all male and female Far-Fliers, already there.
The dark wings visibly did not like being here. The offer had been to meet them within her pack's ranges, but they had demanded to meet outside where it was safer or there was less possibility of a trap. With what she knew of the former relations between the packs, theirs was a fair concern.
She landed and calmly strolled to the male and female dark wings she recognized from before. Defiance and Branch-Biter approached, alternatively looking from her to the light wings behind her. She met them between the two large groups of kin.
"Defiance, Branch-Biter, you are welcome here," she purred.
"Skadi, so it is true. You are the new Alpha? How is this possible?" Defiance asked.
"I killed the last Alpha and forced out most of his kin. The pack bows to me. Do you want any fish-gifts for coming here? We brought some."
She beckoned with her tail, and a pawful of her packmates calmly approached with visible fish in their maws. They dropped the fish at her side and retreated.
Branch-Biter grumbled, "We thank you for the gifts, but we are not hungry. We can do our own hunting."
She did not need any thought-touching to feel their concern. They did not have reason to trust that fish-gifts would not be fouled.
She slightly bent her head, "The fish are not fouled. I will eat with you. I would hope that you trust me to not trick you as he would have."
She picked a random fish and ate. At her encouragement, Defiance and Branch-Bite also ate a couple fish. Satisfied, they strolled with her away from the fish to allow the other dark wings to eat.
"You will find that many of our ceremonies and life-rules are changing or have already changed."
"Such as?" Branch-Biter asked.
"I got rid of the no life-mates rule, my pack does not have Helpers anymore, everyone is encouraged to take a name, and more."
Branch-Biter sat down and glanced at the nearest Fighters behind her, "Those are good changes. And they look to a female as their Alpha? I never thought that would happen."
She chuckled, "They did not think so either. I beat their last Alpha well enough that no one openly challenged me. Some of his kin tried to kill me in my sleep, but we caught them. They are no threat anymore. The rest of his kin and those who were loyal are probably in the packless range."
Defiance grumbled, "While this is good for your pack, none of this concerns us. We flew far to come here and meet you. What do you want?"
"As I told you, New-Flame-Pack has changed much since the last Alpha and his kin were defeated. However, my pack has been on its own for many life-cycles. It has had problems ever since the dark wings, your pack, left it and took your kin with you."
Defiance and Branch-Biter glared at her as she continued, "My pack would be stronger if there were more males who were allowed to fly to us to find possible mates. We also need more packmates who know healing and hurt-helping. Your pack could help us with both of our problems. I want us to make pack-peace between our packs."
Defiance softly growled, "Do you know what happened? How they turned tail on us?"
"I asked First-Knower, who was the dead Alpha's dam, what happened when the peace broke between you and the light wings. She said they did fight and kill the hunters of your kind, but some got past them in the fighting. They could not fly to help you because they were fighting their own fight in their ranges."
He snarled, "An excuse! We saw how they looked around our range back then! They wanted that territory after the deaths! They let us get attacked!"
It was clear he did not want to listen. Outright denying him would not help.
"Maybe so. The foul Alpha and his kin might have been that rotted. Suppose there was a plan. Whose plan was it, if not the Alpha and his kin?"
Branch-Biter grumbled, "What is the point?"
"The other packmates, especially the new ones hatched since then, did not want the pack-peace to break. They did not turn tail on you. My pack now has a new Alpha with new Firsts. We have no bad life-water with your pack. You have no good reason to not trust us."
She paused to growl, though without facing them, "I heard that you, or the dark wing Alphas before you, broke pairs apart by refusing to allow light wings to live with you when you took the dark-lights with you. You or they probably snapped at the light wings because you were hurt, liver-chilled, and wanted someone else to blame. That was wrong. Do you want your pack and light wings to always be glaring at each other, staying apart and not trusting? If nothing else, you should want to make pack-peace because it will help protect your pack. We would fly to help you if you ask for help."
Defiance and Branch-Biter said nothing for many wingbeats until he spoke, "We do not need them for anything. We are safe and have all we need in our range."
Defiance and Branch-Biter were being rock-headed so far, so maybe another approach might be more effective. Subtle guilt was powerful enough to push others to action, especially if combined with good news.
"Further, you should want to help me make pack-peace because I have information which concerns you and all dark wings. You will never again face the hunters of your kind. You might fight Cleansers, but they will never be a big danger in the long future."
"How can you know that?" Defiance asked.
"Because I went down into the darker and deeper ranges and found the Cleansers' nest. Did you know that a six-eyed, boulder-tail named Omega had controlled the Cleanser Alpha and was using them?"
Defiance and Branch-Biter stared without speaking, though they went very still.
"Many life-cycles ago, Omega used Cleansers to capture dark wings and bring them back to the nest. Omega joined the thralled dark wings to thralled Cleansers to make the mixed-kin Hunters of your kind. Omega twisted their in-hatched wants and turned the mixed-kin she created against your kind. She believed dark wings tried to kill all of her kind, so she wanted to do the same to you. Do you know anything about that?"
Defiance stammered, "I… well… if true, great lights."
Branch-Biter continued for him, "The oldest world-hatching stories we have say that monster kin with great-wills were very dangerous, and that it was our place to free all kin from those monsters. No other kin were strong enough to resist the twisted voices and wrong-memories in their thinking. All kin would be free when the last monster-Alpha was no more."
"So your kind did attack the six-eyed monsters. Fine. Good. All that is important for you is that I killed Omega. There will be no more of those mixed-kin Hunters. The Cleansers will not be as dangerous as they were. Omega was the will pushing them and the mixed-hunters to hunt you. I helped your kind, so you should help me make this pack-peace at the least."
She had them trapped. By killing Omega she had killed the unknown, true enemy of all dark wings. Dark wings would now be free of that threat. Defiance, Branch-Biter, and all dark wings had to be grateful to her. They could and should return the favor even if by doing something small like allowing peace between their packs.
Branch-Biter grumbled, "What do you propose?"
"That should be clear. I want our packs to be closer, maybe even trusting enough to let you and light wings look to each other for mates. That will probably take much time."
He shrugged, "True. It is difficult to forgive and forget."
"Our pack has lived alone ever since that attack. How can we change toward your light wings so quickly?" Branch-Biter added.
"It will not be quick. But I have lived in this pack long enough to know that the normal packmates do not hate dark wings. Most of them do not even know your kind at all other than rumors that you are! This meeting here is the closest some of them have been to you."
They paused and noticed how her gathered packmates were watching the dark wings in a mix of worry and amazement.
She paused and purred, glancing at the other dark wings behind them, "You can change the cold between your kinds if you try. I can promise on my wings and on my sire's name as High-Alpha that New-Flame-Pack will come to your aid if you ever need it. All I ask for now is that you help us by sharing healing knowledge. Send a Healer or whoever knows the most to teach our Healers. We are lacking that knowledge."
Defiance and Branch-Biter stepped aside, briefly spoke to each other, and returned.
"We can have Prances-Through-Thorns fly to your pack to share what she knows, or you can have your Healers fly to our pack. We prefer the second option. She is one of our older packmates, and she cannot easily fly far," Defiance said.
"Fine. I will have our Healers fly to your pack. They will have enough Fighters or Far-Fliers go with them to keep them safe."
Branch-Biter hummed, "Fair. We will not mix with your pack yet, but we can take steps toward that trusting. Maybe we can find one of our packmates who wants to live in your pack for a time. And we thank you for killing that six-eyed boulder-tail. Is there any way for us to see it down there?"
"The range collapsed, so you cannot fly to see the body. The Cleansers have no Alpha pushing them anymore. They might flee the darker and deeper ranges if they have a chance. You might want to guard your path into the darker and deeper more closely."
"We will do that. Why did you go into the deeper and darker ranges at all?" Defiance asked.
"It was necessary."
She said nothing else. They did not need to know the truth which would only make her look weaker. Admitting any defeat was unacceptable if an Alpha wanted to keep respect and status.
"Do you want to rest in my territory?" she asked.
"We thank you for the offer, but we want to return to our pack," Defiance answered.
"If you will wait, I can have our Healers and their packmates come join you on the flight to your range. More safety together."
"We will wait," Branch-Biter agreed.
With the talks finished, she and her packmates took flight to return to her pack's ranges. Back in her pack's ranges, she gave orders for the Healers and their escorts to join the dark wings on the flight. She also tasked a Hunter to bring her more fish. Calmly words-fighting with Defiance and Branch-Biter had left her hungry and weary. Catching her own fish would be best, but being Alpha had its privileges. Her packmates were entirely willing to provide for her as a way of showing their gratitude.
She watched from up on a light-rock as the practice continued. The She-Fighters and She-Far-Fliers had a lot to learn and progress to make. It did not help that they were still being too timid, as she had realized after watching for several waking-cycles.
They were reluctant to be rough and biting when practicing. Most of them did not volunteer for new tasks or responsibilities. Their habit of obeying and deferring to males was difficult for them to break.
First-Fighter and First-Far-Flier said they understood the need to better encourage the females in their pack-roles, and they were trying to help. But change was slow, even though it was happening.
With everything going well here, she flew for the warmth-range to enjoy some time alone. The hot water and mist also helped her relax. Being an Alpha and being responsible for an entire pack was frustrating. The worst of it had to be always needing to show strength, never doing anything to make others doubt her.
She arrived in the warmth-range, avoided everyone else, and found an isolated pool hidden in the mist. She slipped into the warm and soothing water to relax and sooth the faint weariness.
Being alone was a peaceful break from how frustrating it was that many of the light wings needed help after having been thought-twisted. What could help them learn to grow and be more liver-flamed? Maybe they just needed time to unlearn the rotted ways they had known for so long.
Another, more chilling possibility, was that they would make the same mistakes over and over, never learning from the past. If they were left on their own, anyway. Ice-Water-Pack had, as Oldest-Knower explained, had been a more normal pack before they turned to an Alpha who was strong in a time of fear. New-Flame-Pack did not always have twisted thoughts, but they turned to rotted ways after a period of disturbance and breaking of peace.
And on that topic of breaking of peace, there was an important problem she had not yet acted on. Speck, Spot, Sway, Swirl, and Stripe, and their two young, were still being kept in their trap-den, being given limited food and not allowed outside. What was best to do about them?
Those five adults had helped the foul Alpha trap the entire pack for many life-making cycles, surely as long as they were his mates. Whether they started out with twisted life-fires or only became foul to others out of obedience or fear of him was unimportant. They deserved a punishment.
Killing them was an option, as they had tried to kill her. Punishment in kind was fair. The only problem with that option was that would leave their two young without anyone at all to raise them. Throwing two fledglings out as packless did not feel like the best decision. However, Pounce and Char would certainly grow up to hate her even if for nothing other than killing their sire. Trying to explain to them that their sire was foul would change nothing.
On the other paw, keeping all of them in that trap-cave served no practical purpose, other than making them mouths to feed and kin to keep contained. There was no work they could do in the trap-cave to earn their keep and not be a burden. The need to guard them kept at least two Fighters always outside the trap-cave where they were useless for any other purpose.
A whisper suggested another solution and punishment. They had kept females trapped in pack-roles which let foul males use them. Maybe they needed to know what that felt like. Bring males to them to have their way with those foul females. Enjoy it, make them hurt, and-
Wait. No. That would encourage the males to fall into the very foul actions which had been allowed before. Encouraging that behavior would be rotted, even if those five might deserve severe punishment.
No, there was another, simpler answer which could be done immediately. Perhaps the best answer was not always the one which felt most just.
With her two guards behind her and several other packmates busy outside, she passed through the waterfall and continued into the trap-cave, down the slope along with the small stream. She settled down on the edge of the drop, held her head high, and looked down into the very place where she had been kept so the Alpha could use her.
Within, Speck, Spot, Sway, Swirl, Stripe, Pounce, and Char idly lay about. They were thinner than they had been, surely because they were not eating the same bounty they had enjoyed before. The air in the trap-cave had a foul scent of old waste, probably as the cave was not meant to have seven kin.
"Comfortable?" she rumbled.
Speck got to her paws and faced her, "What do you want?"
She shrugged, "You helped him control the entire pack through fear."
Stripe whined, "We had no choice. We had to help him or he would hurt us."
"That is a choice, and you did not want to suffer. You chose to go along with him, and you stayed behind to try to kill me. That means you are all just as guilty as him."
"So what? If you want to kill us, just get it over with," Speck huffed.
"I have decided what will happen to all of you. For the sake of your two young ones, I will let you leave now, together."
A silence followed as no one moved.
"What?" Speck asked.
Spot, Sway, Swirl, and Stripe got to their paws while Pounce and Char huddled under their dam's wings.
"I am giving you one more chance to leave. My Hunters have brought you fish and food-mushrooms outside. You will eat and leave, never to return. My packmates will see that you leave. If you ever try to return and threaten me, you die. Do you understand?"
They all agreed, the adults anyway.
Spot bent her head low and whined, "Where should we go?"
"Your kin are probably in the range with other packless light wings. You might search there."
"What about other kin threatening us? We do not know how to fight," Speck objected.
She growled, "That is not my problem. I will come back after a short flight, and if you are still here, I might forget my offer to let you leave."
She spun around and started up the slope out of the trap-cave, her guards following. Once outside, she passed the pile of fish and food-mushrooms and told First-Fighter to oversee everything here. With that done and the captives emerging from the waterfall, she took flight for her cave-den. Despite the feeling that they were getting away with their prior rotted actions, at least this meant that the last sources of rot and threat to her in her pack would be gone.
Weary from flight, she arrived at the rock perch in the living-range where she had been summoned. Several packmates wanted to speak to her, though no one had mentioned about what. Most of these light wings appeared to be younger ones, still adults but not as old as most of the pack.
She hopped down on the ground beside them.
"What is it?" she asked, settling down.
One of the Far-Fliers approached and bowed his head, "Alpha, we, some of us were wondering how we could rise in the pack."
"What? Learn your pack-roles and do well in the tests of pack-role orders."
He looked down to his paws, "Not that. We mean what about becoming an Alpha? Is there a ceremony for that? What rules are there for this? We want to know for the far distant future."
Worried about what she had heard, she stared at him and his packmates behind him. Had he truly just said that? How many waking-cycles had flown past since she became Alpha? Three tens, four tens, unimportant. Were they already thinking of replacing her so soon after she saved them? Just how ungrateful and disloyal were they?
Or maybe they were genuinely curious, as that topic had not come up before.
"Why do you ask?"
"Because we want to know how it can happen. You did not say anything about this at the last pack-meeting," he explained.
"I said nothing because there is nothing to say. This pack is still twisted and confused. You need to be guided and helped, so I will remain your Alpha until you do not need to be led and the threats are no more. Do you understand, my packmates?"
"Yes, Alpha." "We do!" "For the pack!"
"Good. Tell anyone else who is wondering the same what I told you. Is there anything else?"
There was not, and everyone else began departing. Done here, she took flight for her cave-den to rest and consider this troubling news.
Keeping status was not as simple as doing good and helping others. No, there would always be others who would want to take her place. Nothing was wrong on its own about wanting to rise in the pack.
They had a point that she had not spoken about how another could become the Alpha. Would there be a contest or a fight to the death? What was the best way to choose the Alpha, the leader of all?
She knew far more than anyone else here, having seen so much more of the ranges beyond and above. Even those here who had far less twisted thoughts all along had still been isolated from other packs.
Did she want to be their Alpha always? That was a possibility she had not closely considered. Just like her sire-father, she would probably live far longer than a normal light wing. Having one Alpha who did not change might actually help keep peace if all understood she was meant to keep her place.
Did normal packmates know what was best for the pack? It was unlikely. How could they when they did not have all the information or experiences necessary to make a decision?
Her packmates had to have merely been curious about a normal part of the structure of the pack. They would want to know what could happen to the Alpha role, the same as almost all other roles had changed. Her weariness had to be making her more easily upset.
Finally back at her cave-den, she glided inside, landed, and nearly collapsed on her belly. She moaned as pain flared from deep within. Subtle, sharp spikes of pain.
Maybe this was like how not sleeping enough in the deeper and darker had caused twisted fears and weariness. Perhaps she had not eaten enough fish, though the strain of being Alpha was probably a factor. Get enough rest and the pain would fade.
She hid in the deepest corner of her cave-den while whimpering in pain. Why was it not fading? This was not at all the pain of hunger. Had she eaten a rotted fish, or maybe too much fish?
At least no one was there to see her weakness, lying on her belly and whimpering. This would have been unacceptable for an Alpha. Going outside to call for someone to bring long-tooth-grass or other hurt-helping plants would only be to show weakness.
Focusing on one breath after another helped to take thought off the discomfort and waves of pain.
She yelped and whined as the pain faded.
Relief gradually replaced the discomfort.
What had happened? Had she fouled her own cave-den? Maybe that had been the problem making her hurt.
She groaned, got to her paws, turned around, and froze.
On the smooth rock and covered in laying-water was a grey egg.
Had it-
Was it-
No.
No.
"No!"
She retreated from it, unable to look anywhere else. The constant and faint sounds of packmates out in the distance and the crashing of the waterfalls were entirely gone. Nothing else mattered except for-
An egg.
Her egg.
The egg.
No denying that. It existed. How could this have happened if not the obvious? She had taken the no-eggs-berries, but too much time had to have passed between then and when he had forced himself on her.
This… this was a complete disaster! This foul, wrong, and should-not-be egg ruined everything!
An egg and hatchling needed so much time and attention. How could she be a dam-mother and be an Alpha for packmates who needed direction? No kin could have everything at the same time.
Be a dam-mother or an Alpha, no other option. That was not a difficult choice. Being Alpha was far more important.
Wait, there was still the chance that the egg might be empty. That would fix everything.
But no. There was a life-fire inside it. A hatchling-to-be. Hers.
Go to it. Curl up with it. Make it warm. Hold it and sing to it and-
"No no no no no!"
She spun away, sat down without looking at the egg, and fought to control her racing breaths. Just get breathing under control first. Controlling thought was simply not possible.
Both her egg, part of her and from her, and also very much not hers! It came from him! His foulness! She never agreed to make it anyway. It should never have been.
What to do about it? Did she have any responsibility for this thing which forced its way into her life?
No. She did not agree to it, so there was no duty to it. This egg was not hers. It was his, not hers!
If this problem could just go away and-
She turned to glare at the egg. It just sat there, motionless and taunting. Was the dead Alpha laughing from beyond death at the problem he had caused her? Probably. He would want her to burdened because of him.
Kill it just to spite him. Eliminate the threat. One life did not matter much. It was not hers anyway. His only. An enemy.
She stepped to it, placed a paw above the egg, and hesitated.
Just do it.
Get rid of it.
Destroy it like she had him.
Be free of the past.
Free.
Her forepaw refused to move and crush the foul egg.
It was too pitiful, completely defenseless.
She whined and stepped back, whining in confusion.
Maybe she was too weak and reluctant to act as was necessary. No, maybe it was only that crushing the egg underpaw would be messy. There was no reason to foul her own cave-den with death.
What to do?
The egg could still be gotten rid of another way. Better would be to carry it to the hungry-water-hole, yes, and toss it away where it belonged. Send it to join its foul sire. Just make the problem disappear.
But was the egg or hatchling-to-be innocent? It had done the wrong of being, but could it be blamed for that? On the other paw, all of his kin were rotted and twisted, so how could it not be? Keeping it would mean having close at paw a constant reminder of what he had done.
She spun away out of frustration at herself, retreated to the entrance of her cave-den, and looked out on the range beyond. A pawful of light wings were visible on the wing, resting on distant ledges, or going about their tasks. Their lives were normal, simple, and undisturbed, aside from the lingering confusion about the changes in the pack.
This was too much. Too much for now. It was impossible to make important choices so suddenly. Just fly somewhere, anywhere else to get away and have time to make a plan.
She stretched her wings, crouched, yelped in faint pain, and froze, realizing that she could not leave. Anyone, most likely her guards, Firsts, or Shatters-Columns, could come to her cave-den while she was away and would find the egg. Trapped in a new way. Flying away was not an answer.
She retreated into her cave-den without looking back at the egg.
Nothing could be allowed to threaten her status, such as the need to tend to a hatchling would. Having a duty to an egg or hatchling would take far too much time and would distract from being Alpha. There was no way to know how long it would take before the egg would hatch. Probably many waking-cycles.
Despite being twisted, rotted, and should-not-be, maybe the egg could be useful somehow if it lived. The hatchling would probably be like her and have some of her powers. That alone could be important. Perhaps she could keep it alive and have it trained as an obedient ally if she could keep secret its origin. But even that would probably not work, as the truth would come out once it hatched and appeared similar to her and him.
Another, far better option was that it could be removed from her pack and given to a foreign pack to raise. That would take negotiation, but it would help protect her status and freedom while making the problem go away forever. Regardless, the egg could not stay here in her cave-den.
She calmed her breathing and held her head high as a plan flew together. There was a way to take care of the immediate problem.
Resolved, she cautiously crept closer to the egg and considered its grey and white color which was not so different from a normal light wing egg. The size was also the same, so no one would know the difference. That she had to carry it in her maw could explain it having any scent of hers. This might actually work.
She briefly flamed the egg to dry it, cautiously picked it up, and was surprised by how heavy it was. With the egg secure in her maw, she left her cave-den, and smoothly glided the relatively short distance to the ledge and caves given to the sire-fathers, dam-mothers, young, and eggs. The eggs were being sat in one of the more spacious cave-dens covered in moss on the inside, and there were always a pair of dam-mothers sitting with them.
She gently landed outside the cave-den and strolled inside, spotting two females curling up in a pair of moss and twig nests. Both of the females, who had named themselves Wandering-Spark and Leaping-Leaf, noticed her approach.
"Alpha! Warm waking-cycle!" Wandering-Spark purred in greeting.
'Warm waking-cycle, my packmates. I have work for you.'
Wandering-Spark and Leaping-Leaf started in surprise at hearing her thought-voice since she had not needed to use it recently. Before they could ask anything, she bent down and carefully placed the egg on the moss at her paws.
She gently placed a paw on the egg, "I want you and the other dams to sit this egg as you do your own. A female flew with this egg to my cave-den. She did not want to keep it, but she did not want to destroy it. I agreed with her."
"Did she say who the sire is? He should be the one to help if she does not want it," Leaping-Leaf pointed out.
"She said he is not here anymore. I will not name her either. Will you explain to the others that you four are responsible for the egg? You will get any help you need."
Wandering-Spark purred, "Of course we will."
Leaping-Leaf grumbled, "Are you asking us to claim it and keep it?"
"No, only sit with it and do what you must. I will find someone else to claim it or raise the hatchling."
"What if our eggs hatch before this one? They are getting closer," Wandering-Spark asked.
"If that happens, I will find others to take your place so you are not conflicted. Have word sent to me if it looks like the egg will hatch soon."
Leaping-Leaf lifted a wing, so she picked up the egg and gently placed it with the others. It was distinguishable from them by its slightly grey color, though it was not vastly different from the other two. Leaping-Leaf settled down with the now three eggs.
Relieved, she stepped back and purred, "You both have my thanks. Remember that you can ask for help if you need any."
Leaping-Leaf hummed, "We will, Alpha."
With that taken care of, she calmly strolled out of their cave-den to take flight. While still weak from everything that recently happened, it also felt like a weight was off her wings, which was true. The egg was not truly hers, not at all, so putting it out of mind was necessary and appropriate for a while. It never existed except for bad memories of a little pain and discomfort. Those memories would fade with time. While a permanent solution was necessary, an immediate obstacle was taken care of.
Up in the sky and for the moment free of everything, she breathed a sigh of relief and turned for the forest-range where she could find a hurt-helping plant. A few leaves or bark to chew on would help with the little remaining discomfort.
Everything was going to be fine.