Chapter 8

(December 2007)

Rory hadn't realized how excited she was about the prospect of a Christmas party until she'd started getting ready. Examining her appearance in the bathroom mirror, her black and gold print maternity dress was somewhat flattering, especially with her gleaming gold necklace and matching earrings. Heels would've completed the ensemble better but at this point she had to favor comfort over style, wearing black flats instead. Leaning closer to the mirror, she carefully applied eye shadow, thrilled to be interacting with new people.

Logan's company gala was being held at a fashionable downtown hotel. Strains of instrumental music greeted them as they entered the hall. Waiters with trays of tempting hor d'oeuvres quietly circulated through the elegantly dressed crowd. Evergreen boughs with red satin bows graced the tables. Several fragrant evergreen trees were decorated with matching silver and gold ornaments, red satin bows and tiny sparkling lights.

Rory hadn't realized how accustomed she'd become to this opulent world, first through her grandparents, and then through Logan.

Her eagerness to be there diminished as the party progressed. People were friendly. They dutifully asked about the baby but then their eyes started to glaze over or drift towards the crowd, searching for someone else. Or they rapidly changed the subject to the latest movies or fashion trends, vacation plans, the stock market, or job opportunities.

It was a crushing disappointment to discover that the actual parents were the worst. One woman cornered Rory, insisting upon describing every gory detail of her own birthing experience that had lasted an excruciating thirty-six hours. The story itself was an interminable forty-five minutes.

After Logan rescued her from that woman, another couple kept insisting that Rory and Logan had to get their child put on the wait list for Stratford, the best pre-school in the city. They even urged them to start sending the private school's board members gift baskets now, on a yearly basis, so they'd remember their names when it was time for admission decisions. Otherwise, their child would be so disadvantaged that they'd never get into a decent prep school or college.

Rory felt like she didn't belong with any of the groups at this party. It was a lonely feeling.

When the final parent started in on her nightmarish daycare woes, Rory was silently screaming. Fortunately, Logan intervened on her behalf, claiming he saw a colleague that he wanted to introduce to Rory.

Crossing the room with him, Rory thanked Logan for his quick thinking.

"I actually do want to introduce you to someone. Chris, how are you?"

A blonde, deeply tan man turned to say, "Logan. And this must be Rory. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

They shook hands.

"Logan tells me you met at Yale. My wife, Emma, and I just graduated from Stanford." He tapped the shoulder of a tall, willowy red headed woman wearing a sparkling silver dress. She turned to join them.

Her smile was stunning yet seemed genuine. "Rory, so great to meet you!"

Finally, for the first time that evening, they'd met a couple that seemed to have common interests. They weren't scared off by the fact that Rory and Logan were having a baby since they themselves were expecting in early summer. They treated them like real people instead of prospective parents, talking about music and concerts, Broadway shows. About how weird it was transitioning from college to real jobs.

Emma said, "My parents have a house near Baker beach. You ought to come out some weekend. We can do a bonfire and hang out."

"That sounds wonderful!" Rory replied, with enthusiasm.

"We might be pretty busy for the next few months." Logan said. "With the baby."

"That'll be us soon. I love babies. Bring him or her along. We can learn from you," Emma said.

"We'd love that. Does Logan have your number?" Rory asked.

"Yeah," Logan insisted. Grabbing Rory's hand and pulling slightly, he said to the other couple, "Will you excuse us?"

Rory was confused. For the first time all evening, she was having fun and potentially making a friend. She didn't want to leave. Why was Logan acting so oddly?

Continuing to exert pressure on her hand, he directed her towards the edge of the room. They stepped outside onto a balcony. Logan closed the French doors behind him for privacy.

Rory's frustration bubbled over. "What's wrong with you? Those people were being kind to us. We were getting along well. Don't you want to have new friends? Wouldn't you love to spend time with them at their beach house? Or do you just not want to have any fun?"

Holding her hands, Logan explained. "Rory, you don't remember how rich people work, do you? We assume everyone has money. It's all well and good when we're hanging out at their beach house. But then they order lobster for dinner. They just throw in some scallops and a bottle of four-hundred-dollar wine, 'cause it's the best. They don't consult you. They're just assuming you can kick in. Asking never occurs to them. And if you can't pay your share, it's humiliating. It's not worth it."

Wrenching her hand away from his, Rory said, "You're being too cynical. People aren't really like that. I'm sure they'd understand we all don't have the same financial resources if we just explained it to them."

"Why? I didn't." Gauging her incredulous expression, he said, "I didn't. If people were in my social circle, I assumed money wasn't an issue. Period.

"Now, you're right, if you're close friends with someone who has a different financial situation, of course you make it work. No problem. But with people you barely know? It's not on their radar. It just doesn't work that way."

"Are you sure?" She longed to be friends with Chris and Emma.

Gripping the wrought iron balcony ledge, Logan said, "One night when I first got here, I went for drinks with the guys from work. It was happy hour with half price drinks so I thought I could afford a few beers. They ordered high end liquor and ran up an enormous bar tab. I didn't order that much but they just said, 'Let's split it four ways.' I was stuck with a two-hundred-dollar bar bill."

"Oh"

Crossing over to her and putting his hand on her shoulder, Logan said, "I'm not saying we can't be friends with them. I'm just saying we have to be careful."

XXXXX

Stretched out in their queen-sized bed, Rory nestled closer to Logan, enjoying the warmth of his body pressed against hers. She could sense his breath against the back of her neck.

Unable to sleep, she strove not to dwell on how late it was. She resisted the urge to check the clock. Conversations from the party continued to replay in her head. Listening to the rhythm of Logan's breathing, she sensed he wasn't asleep either.

"How are you?" she tentatively asked.

"Fine." He mumbled. He threw a protective arm about her expanded belly, pulling her closer.

She felt the need to press.

"No, really. In a few weeks, we're going to be parents. Lots of people at that party treated us like we were insane."

"Yeah, like it was a disease they didn't wanna catch." After sensing the movement of the baby beneath his palm, he confessed. "I'm scared."

"Me too."

While they'd taken a birthing class and read parenting books, both were fully aware that raising a child was far more involved.

"I don't want to be like my dad."

That concern wasn't even on Rory's radar.

"What do you mean?"

She awkwardly turned to face him, even though she couldn't make out his features in their darkened bedroom.

"I don't want to turn into him."

"That's impossible Logan, you're already nothing like him. You prioritize people, not money or power. You've already shown that by marrying me."

"Maybe. But I don't know what I'm doing."

"Neither do I. I literally ran out of the room before Sherry gave birth to Gigi. And what about all those horror stories about thirty-something hours of labor and all the ripping and tearing? Or aching, cracking, bleeding body parts that I don't even want to think about? Or signing up for the right daycare or preschool because it's already too late and our kid is doomed to be a failure?" She shuddered.

Logan placed his palm along the side of her cheek.

"We're going to figure this out. People have been having kids for a long the time. If they can do it, so can we.

"At least we're doing this together. As scary as this is, I can't tell you how much I hated being in this place alone. You being here makes all the difference."

"Aw, that's so sweet, Logan. I know this wasn't what we originally planned but I'm glad I'm with you too."

She closed the space between them, kissing him.

XXX

It was finally Christmas Eve Day. Logan was home from work, having the week off. The apartment was festively decorated with a few presents from relatives underneath the tree. To cut down on costs, Logan and Rory had agreed to go to the movies or a show rather than exchange physical gifts.

But it didn't feel like Christmas.

It didn't feel magical, like the holiday always had.

Other than Logan's company Christmas gala, they had no events to attend. No friends or family to celebrate with. Most were choosing to wait until the arrival of the baby in January before visiting.

Rory's grandparents had generously offered to fly them home for the holidays but with Rory's advanced pregnancy and their tenuous financial situation, they'd agreed to celebrate the holidays on their own in San Francisco.

What was that going to look like?

Last year, she and Logan had celebrated the holidays on their own in London. Visiting Buckingham Palace and the Tower of London. Enjoying high tea. Seeing a performance of "A Christmas Carol" at a charming local theater. Taking a horse and carriage ride about Hyde Park, while sipping hot cocoa and nibbling Christmas cookies.

That would be hard to beat.

Their time in London had felt so carefree. Like they could do anything they wanted. The weather had been frigid, they'd been shivering, bundled up in coats and scarfs but it hadn't detracted from their enjoyment.

Was that it? Were the sixty-degree days without a snowflake in sight throwing her off?

Yet, she was fully aware that the weather wasn't the real issue.

As wonderful as London had been, it had been a vacation. This year they were dealing with reality.

Sitting at the kitchen table, Rory took a bite out of a Pop Tart.

"What do you want to do today?" Logan asked. He was scanning the newspaper.

She shrugged. "I don't know."

Putting the paper aside, he said, "What's wrong? You love the holidays."

"It just doesn't feel right."

"It's a little weird. But we can have fun. There's an article in the paper listing holiday events."

"Which are probably all too expensive." She idly stirred her coffee.

"Not necessarily. There's lights at the zoo." Checking the fine print, he said, "Oh, there's a fee there. But we agreed we could spend some money, right?"

"True. But you're going to be home for an entire week. We don't want to spend our entire budget in one day."

It felt strange that Logan was trying to cheer her up. She was usually the optimist in their relationship. Their roles had reversed.

"Are you okay?" He leaned towards her, looking at her with concern.

"Yeah. I'm just tired. I'm not sleeping the greatest."

In the past week, the baby had been much more active, kicking and moving about, especially at night.

"So we won't plan anything big. Tell you what, I'll read some ideas and you can tell me what sounds interesting." Referring to the paper, he said, "Lights at Union Square. Hey – there's ice skating there."

Rory glared at him. "Really?"

"Not a good idea." He returned his gaze to the newspaper. "There are several productions of "A Christmas Carole" and one of "The Nutcracker". Christmas classics. "

"It might be hard to sit that long."

Between frequent trips to the restroom and just getting comfortable, it was a challenge. She was also concerned she might doze off.

Logan continued to read. "Hey, this sounds like you. There's a two-story gingerbread house at the Fairmont hotel. And a candy shop that makes a Sugar Castle."

Feeling homesick, she said, "I wonder if they have candy cane coffee."

"I don't know what that is but we can look for it. Or we can have that picnic at Golden Gate Park. We haven't gotten around to that yet."

Rory considered their options. "Tonight we should splurge on take-out and watch Christmas movies. So no lights tonight but maybe later in the week."

"Alright. How about we search for candy cane coffee on the way to the two-story gingerbread house?" Logan suggested.

"Sounds like a plan."

XXXX

By the time they'd returned to the townhouse, their spirits were low. They'd decided to walk for a while so they could comb the coffee shops along the way for candy cane coffee. The process wore Rory out. They'd enjoyed some delicious hot chocolate, but there was no candy cane coffee to be found. The two-story Gingerbread house at the Fairmont hotel was spectacular as promised. But it was mobbed with people. There had been a thirty-minute wait just to walk around it. Once they finished the tour, they decided to save the trip to the sugar castle for another day.

Exhausted, Rory collapsed on the couch.

"What do you want to order?" Logan asked.

"I don't care."

Logan scanned their collection of take-out menus. "What sounds good? Maybe Indian? Or is that too spicy for you?"

Rory shrugged.

She wondered what her mother was doing now. Had she and Luke already attended her grandparents' Christmas party, enjoying those scrumptious apple tarts? Or were she and Luke out with Sookie and Jackson tonight? Or at home, with Luke preparing a feast while Lorelai stocked up on desserts?

Even though she'd spoken with her mother yesterday, she missed her. She should call her today but she was afraid that would only make her feel worse. She felt a little foolish, needing her mom so much.

She hated that she felt so despondent. It felt like a huge effort to be hospitable with Logan. Maybe she could blame those pregnancy hormones that made her cry all the time. Physically, she wasn't comfortable, yet she still had at least three weeks to go before delivery.

"What about sushi?" Then Logan realized what he was saying. "No, that won't work. Tai noodles?"

The doorbell rang so Logan headed downstairs.

Although Rory was starving, nothing sounded good. Maybe pizza? But it was Christmas Eve and that demanded something special.

Maybe she just needed to accept the fact that this wasn't going to be a special holiday this year.

What was taking Logan so long? Usually the aspiring politicians courting your vote, handed you their pamphlets and left. And why would they be out knocking on doors on Christmas Eve?

Finally, Logan appeared at the head of the stairs. "Rory, I hope you don't mind. I broke the rules and got you a Christmas present."

She had a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach until she noticed her mother was standing behind him.

"Mom!" She rushed towards her.

The two screamed with joy and hugged each other.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Rory said, tears on her cheeks. She didn't want to release her grip on her mother. Then she panicked. "Does this mean you can't come out when the baby's born?'" As much as she loved having her mother here now, she could not go through childbirth without her.

"Logan helped me out for this trip. I'm coming out on my own dime for the big event. Don't worry about that. I am not missing out on that." Taking in the apartment, Lorelai said, "Love the decorations. So what are the plans?"

Within an hour, the kitchen and coffee tables were covered with a variety of take-out food. Tai dumplings, Indian curry, empanadas, Chinese noodles, egg rolls, nachos. They'd also purchased chocolate covered cherries and nuts, powdered sugar cookies, cherry cheesecake and a Yule log.

"Can we eat all of this?" Logan asked.

"Maybe not all at once. But that's what left-overs are all about." Lorelai said.

Logan and Lorelai bustled about the kitchen, finding forks and plates, making margaritas for themselves while Rory rested on the couch. She flipped through the television channels, looking for a holiday movie.

"There's "It's A Wonderful Life"." Rory said. "A Christmas Carole". Classics but not what she was in the mood for.

Always sensitive to her daughter's moods, Lorelai said, "Those are good but I think we need something more fun, don't you?" She dashed up the stairs, returning with VHS cassettes in hand. "How about "Elf" followed by the Grinch?"

Logan joined Rory on the couch, his plate piled high with food. "Sounds great to me."

XXXX

Christmas day Logan and Rory took Lorelai to the Golden Gate Bridge Park, where they finally enjoyed a picnic and then strolled along the coast. That evening they enjoyed the festive holiday light display at Union Square and even discovered candy cane coffee at a nearby shop. Today they'd planned on taking a cable car ride and exploring Fisherman's Wharf, but Rory's energy was low.

Rory stepped into the nursery which was doubling as the guest room. Her mother was ruffling through her suitcase, looking for a sweater.

Logan had painted the nursey walls harvest gold to coordinate with the rest of the townhouse. The blonde oak crib her grandparents purchased was fully assembled. They'd also sent a matching rocking chair. A bright blue plastic milk crate served as a bookshelf. Several other baby items were in the room, yet many were still in their cardboard boxes.

Sinking onto the futon, Rory said, "What's wrong with me, Mom? Lots of women have their nurseries decorated months before the baby is born. I don't have a Noah's ark mural on the wall or a cute mobile over the crib. I unpacked the books but haven't finished unpacking most of the baby gifts."

"You have a mobile. Brian sent you one. It's cute. It's music notes. You just need to take it out of the box."

It was all seeming overwhelming.

Her heart beating faster, Rory said, "I'm not ready."

Lorelai sat beside her on the futon. "No one ever is. Besides buying stuff and decorating a nursery isn't what determines if you're going to be a good mom. I didn't have any of that stuff."

"I know."

"How about I help you unpack some stuff? Just the things you might need right away. Maybe we can find the mobile. We can wait on stuff like the swing."

Lorelai pulled a Diaper Genie out of the box. While removing the excess packaging, she asked, "Are you doing a changing table?"

"No, there's some pad…somewhere."

Searching about the room, they found it and placed it on top of the dresser.

Rory examined another box with a picture of a happy child on it. "What is this?"

"A bath safety seat. Push that one towards the back, you won't need it for a while. Have you come across the mobile yet?"

Suddenly Rory felt a rush of warm fluid on her legs. Her face growing red, she said, "Give me a minute, I need to change." This type of indignity unfortunately wasn't uncommon for pregnant women. When she took a step, she was mortified to discover there was a puddle beneath her.

Lorelai got down to business. "We need to take you to the hospital"

Rory protested. "No. It's just…an accident. You know how that goes."

"That's not a little accident, that's your water breaking. Grab your bag. It's time." Lorelai insisted.

Rory started to panic. This was impossible. She wasn't ready. It was too early.

"I don't have a bag packed. Are you sure I have to go to the hospital? I'm due in three weeks. The doctors said so. It's not time. This is not supposed to happen yet."

"Babies don't always pay attention to what the doctors say. Logan!" Lorelai shouted. "We're going to the hospital. You're having a baby."

Appearing in the door frame in record time, color draining from his face, he said, "What?"

"Baby time. You want to pull out the car or pack her bag?"

After a moment of indecision, he rushed down the stairs to grab his car keys.

"Don't forget to put on shoes!" Lorelai shouted after him.

Lorelai dashed into Rory's bedroom, searching for a bag, and then opening the dresser drawers, grabbing clothing.

"Put on some clean comfortable clothes and let's go."

XXXX

When Rory's contractions started in the car, Logan panicked, making a wrong turn. Once he'd corrected for that, they hit bumper to bumper traffic. Lorelai had been the only level-headed person in the vehicle.

Rory's labor pains ceased as they arrived at the hospital. Yet the doctor didn't want to send her home since her water had ruptured. To attempt to stimulate labor, Rory was encouraged to exercise, strolling about the hospital halls clad in a fashionable hospital gown. Lorelai and Logan took turns accompanying her, cheering her on, bringing her coffee. Even with the added caffeine, Rory was drained after only an hour had passed. She just wanted to sleep.

After several more hours of walking, the doctor decided it was best to induce labor. Twenty hours later, the baby was born.

Rory lay in the hospital bed, fast asleep. The baby was resting in a bassinet near the bed. Lorelai was currently on watch while Logan was dozing, slumped over in an armchair near the window.

Using her cell phone, Lorelai called Luke. She'd been texting him updates since they'd arrived at the hospital.

"Did you get the picture?"

"She's a cutie." He replied.

"How's April doing?"

Since Lorelai was spending time with Rory, Luke had flown to New Mexico. Anna had been unexpectedly generous with visitation rights for the holiday.

"She's doing well. It's taking her a while to make friends but she's finding her people. Maybe next year we can visit together."

"Yeah," Lorelai grinned, feeling warmth rushing through her. She was loving that Luke was dropping these hints every few days since she'd let him know that she was open to the idea of marriage.

"Miss you. Talk to you soon. Love you."

"Love you too." Luke said.

Then she called her mother. God only knows what time it was on the east coast but this type of news couldn't wait. The phone rang nearly ten times before it was answered.

"Mom"

"Lorelai, do you have any idea what time it is?" Emily mumbled, half asleep. "Is everything alright?"

"Look at your cell phone."

"My what?"

"Your cell phone."

Becoming annoyed, she replied, "Lorelai, I'm not sure where I put it. Can't this wait?"

"Nope. I'll wait."

Lorelai studied her granddaughter's chubby cheeks. The wisp of blondish hair. The perfect little fingers and toes. The rising of her chest. She laughed as she heard her parents arguing in the background, first about the location of the cell phone and then about how to turn it on. Lorelai hoped it was charged.

Finally, her mother was back on the line. Sounding even more irritated, she said, "Okay, it's on. Now what?"

"Check your text messages."

"My what?"

"Mom, you've used this feature before. It's the little red and white icon at the bottom of your screen"

"Good heavens. Let me get my reading glasses."

Lorelai impatiently tapped her fingers as she waited.

Hearing some sounds on the other end of the line, Lorelai said, "Did you find it?"

Emily's peeved tone was replaced by joy. "Oh my goodness! Richard!"

She'd finally found the photo of Rory and the baby that Lorelai had texted to her.

"Her name is Eleanor Lorelai. Six pounds, five ounces. Both are doing well. They're going to call her Nora."