Chapter 18: Live or Let Die

"The chamber ! Hurry !" Victor shouted as he stood up.

Barry worked to extinguish the fire from the explosion and keep the other components of their facility from catching fire. Bruce threw in some gel grenades to help him, creating a thick smoke. But the fire had spread and another room exploded, setting off a chain reaction. The Fortress activated a safety protocol on its own. A robot came out of nowhere to deal with the fire with them.

"Damn it!" Diana shouted into the chamber. "Clark's gone! "

Bruce felt the panic rising. He turned his head in Diana's direction, just as red eyes shot through the cloud.

Batman had no time to react. The Kryptonian grabbed him by the throat and sent him flying out of the Fortress. The landing was hard. His armor protected him from the impact, but he was stunned. He then saw Superman further away, confronting the others. Cyborg was shooting at him with a laser cannon and Diana was attacking him in hand-to-hand combat with Barry. J'onn was about to intervene on him with his telepathy when Clark grabbed the Amazon and sent her at him.

Barry sent lightning bolts at him and combined his attacks with Cyborg's. The Kryptonian stood still to follow the Flash with his eyes. Then he hissed. Bruce knew at that moment what was going to happen and he didn't have time to warn Barry.

Superman used his superpower and caught the Flash just as Krypto arrived. The wolf shredded the speeder's leg and the speeder howled in pain. Then, still using his superspeed, Clark incapacitated Cyborg by breaking his arm and propelling him further away. Bruce had to intervene. He got up at the same time as Diana and charged at Clark, drawing a kryptonite batarang.

Clark's laser red gaze pointed directly at him.

"Bruce! "

Diana dove at him to shield him from the laser and he threw his batarang, along with several others with electric discharge. Superman didn't appreciate it. He charged at them. Diana fought him hand to hand, but he was faster than she was.

"Clark stopped!" Barry shouted from the distance.

"Kal! It's me, Diana! "

The cold expression on the Kryptonian's face was terrifying. Krypto then attacked the Amazon and Superman turned his attention back to Bruce.

"Kal! It's Bruce! "

This didn't make him hot or cold. Clark grabbed him by the throat, pulling out all the weapons in his reach and the remaining kryptonite with his other hand. Bruce was afraid. Clark was ready to kill him. He had a look of hatred he'd never seen before.

"Kal! Stop!" Diana shouted. "You'll kill him! Kal! "

Bruce was gasping for air. His throat was completely crushed and he couldn't see clearly. His ears were ringing, saliva was flooding his mouth and the pressure in his head was becoming unbearable. Then Clark let go of him, screaming in pain.

Superman had been watching Brainiac hurriedly gather his things for a few minutes. He was going to leave. And leave quickly. This was his moment. After that, Brainiac would probably drug him and he wouldn't be able to take advantage of the stressful situation to get out. Already he could see him preparing his syringe.

Kal winced as he slid the metal across his raw flesh. It was so sticky it was sadly effective. He bent his elbow painfully, his arm in agony. Soon it would all be over. He had planned to free his head, the other arm and then his legs. He didn't have the time.

"We'll have to leave, Superman. "

And when he saw Kal partially free, he wanted to stick the needle in him. The rest happened very quickly. Kal blocked the syringe by holding Brainiac's wrist and, activating what little energy he had left, he used his termovision and shouted at the top of his lungs. The rays pierced Brainiac's skull.

As a result of the effort, Kal lost consciousness. It was the shaking of an explosion and the sound of an alarm that woke him up and he realized that he was not yet free. It was difficult. Clark's head was still spinning from his last effort, and he was fighting the pain. It hurt. It really hurt.

He screamed as he dropped from his table and crashed to the floor with all his weight. Tears streamed down his cheeks and this time he was ready to give up. If the alarm had gone off, maybe it was because the others had come for them. Him, Diana and J'onn. He hoped so with all his heart. He didn't have the strength to go on.

Falling on Brainiac, he tried to catch his breath and control his emotions. He wasn't sure if it was allies of his that had caused those who held him to raise the alarm. In fact, he wasn't sure of anything. It could also be an experiment gone wrong.

He sighed and his gaze fell on the wall in front of him. Kara. She who was so strong, so brave... He had no right to give up. Not the right because she had fought to the end, when she was far more helpless than he. She had given her life. He would avenge her. He swore to himself.

Motivated by a nameless hatred for Metallo, he dragged himself into the room where Brainiac had come from. He didn't know which of the two doors, the front or the back, led to the exit, but he had to come from somewhere.

Kal dragged himself up leaning on his broken arm, tears of pain running down his cheeks. He was going to pass out, he could feel it. His whole body shook every time he dragged himself a little more. A little bit more. He felt as if thousands of needles were piercing his skin, as if he were burning and being lacerated at the same time.

He was crying. The pain was excruciating. His whole body was shaking, his teeth were chattering as if he was cold, yet he was dripping with sweat. His vision was blurry, he was hot and cold, he was in pain. Many times he thought about giving up. But he had to keep moving toward the other door. A little more. One more time.

He prayed to God and Rao to give him the strength to go on, to continue and to hold on. He didn't want to end up like this. He didn't want to die in such a pitiful way. He didn't want his last thoughts, his last actions to be those of a terrified, cowardly person. His hatred was gone within the first few meters, replaced by pain. The pain and the fear of dying. They had erased any other trace of thought or feeling. He was reduced to this.

He almost cried with joy when he reached the other door and his fingers were only inches from the handle. He reached out with difficulty and pulled the handle. This was a crucial moment for him, the culmination of a quest for a pain never experienced. It was partly for this reason that something inside him broke, when the door was locked.

He frantically pushed the handle, ignoring the pain for a few seconds. Then his mind resigned itself to defeat long before his hand. He gave up, turning to prop himself up against the door, in that large, empty room he had never seen. At the end of the room, through the doorframe, he could see Kara's leg dangling in the air, and Brainiac's body lying on the floor. With luck, Brainiac had not had time to upload himself into another body and the information he had taken from her would be lost.

But Kal seemed to be out of luck. He looked around the room, hovering over the screens without really looking at them. He'd seen this sort of thing before anyway. The room looked like it had been in use for a while, and perhaps it had been cleared out before he arrived. But the computers were still functional. Maybe... maybe he could do something with them.

He shuffled along, unconvinced by his enterprise. In fact, he saw himself as finished already. Without really knowing why, he refused to give up hope. Damned hope. He reached a first screen without paying too much attention to it as the images scrolled by. The keyboard was obviously unresponsive, and so were the ones next to it. The explosion must had make the equipment defective, but not the screens.

He heard some noise next door but turned his attention back to the screens. It was then that his neurons connected. It told him something. He looked at the screens. His heart skipped a beat and he backed up against another desk in shock. Kal's eyes welled up with tears. It couldn't be. What he was seeing could not be true. And yet... the format, the plans, the layout and the names of the files that were scrolling by...

Kal's heart sank in his chest. In fact, he had always been alone. Always. While he had tried to convince himself otherwise, the truth hit him even harder than Brainiac. How stupid he had been. Stupid, foolish, gullible. Contempt, resentment, and hatred once again took their place in his heart and mind.

"Superman! Is that where you're hiding? "

Kal turned his head toward Metallo at the entrance to the room. He couldn't run, and he couldn't face him. He knew what was going to happen. He knew it. And he didn't care. Metallo stepped toward him, a smile on his lips as he exposed his kryptonite heart to his face again. He lifted Kal by the neck with ease.

"Too bad, you killed your guardian angel. I couldn't wait for the moment when I was going to kill you. "

He couldn't help but give him a look of defiance. That was all he had left, for what it was worth. He tried to address Metallo, but only a gurgle came out, reminding him that he had no functional tongue left. He didn't even have a word left. Kal turned his head away, staring at the screens with some hatred.

"You are so weak. Farewell, Superman. "

Metallo turned his arm into a huge spike and pierced his chest.

Bruce coughed until his lungs burst, gasping for air. Krypto went for Clark and dragged him several feet away. J'onn was screaming too. As Clark screamed, the Martian was kneeling on the ground, holding his head in pain. Diana went to him.

"J'onn! "

She had barely arrived when he stopped screaming, collapsing to the ground. On the other side, Superman did the same thing. Bruce realized that it must have been a strong telepathic connection between them. He struggled to his feet, glancing at Barry and then at Cyborg, who had joined them and were coming back. Victor was helping the speeder along.

Bruce turned his head to Clark, who seemed to be coming to. Sitting up, he looked at his hands as if rediscovering them, incomprehension on his face. Then he touched his chest, seemed to check his body, and looked around.

"Clark ? " asked Bruce cautiously as he approached him.

Clark barely looked at him, staring at the other vigilantes, then at the Fortress. He got to his feet, Krypto supporting him. Only then did Clark look at him, removing any visible expression from his face.

"What have you done? "

The others glanced at each other. No one knew what to say. Clark took a big jump, leading him directly to the front of the Fortress, which closed as soon as he and Krypto entered. The other vigilantes met at the door.

"What just happened?" asked Barry. "Is that our Clark? "

Bruce stared at the wall for a moment, unsure of what had just gone through the Kryptonian's mind.

"I think so," he replied.

Diana tried to get through the door.

"I can't get in anymore. We're locked out. J'onn is unconscious, Barry and Vic need medical attention. We have to get them back to the League. "

Bruce looked back at the Fortress. Clark looked like Clark, but he wasn't sure. But in any case, he had stopped attacking them. That was a good thing. They didn't seem to have created a monster either. They could leave him alone. Clark probably needed it to digest the thing.

"All right. Let's go. "

Then they all took the Batwing again in the greatest of silences.

They put Barry on a medical table in a hurry. Diana laid J'onn, still unconscious, next to them and threw bandages at them.

"We'll put these on you until the bleeding stops. "

Bruce and Victor removed the shreds of Flash's costume and wrapped the bandages around Barry's lacerated leg. Barry let out a howl of pain as they tightened the bandage.

"Good thing I'm regenerating!" Barry grunted in sweat. "That bloody doggo could have made me lose my leg! "

"He was obeying his master," Diana commented. "We owe you one, J'onn. "

The Martian awoke with difficulty beside him. He sat up, still holding his head.

"You brought Clark back to us," Victor said. " Thank you,"

J'onn shook his head negatively. Bruce stiffened.

"What did you see, J'onn? "

"What he went through. We should never have put him through that again. "

And without another word, the Martian left the room. Whatever he had seen seemed to have shaken him. Bruce turned his head to the Amazon.

"I'm going back to the Fortress. "

"I'll go with you. We need to talk to him. "

Bruce's stomach churned. He was more than a little stressed about seeing Clark again and talking to him. In his head, he imagined how best to approach the Kryptonian, knowing that it was stupid to do so. That once he got in front of him, things would never turn out like the scenarios in his head. He didn't know if he should apologize for their last conversation, or start with Kara and what had happened in Cadmus.

Ultimately, he would have to rely on his instincts once he came face to face with him. But he feared that when he faced him, Clark wouldn't react as he usually did. J'onn had gotten into his head and even though he hadn't said what he'd seen, Bruce could tell it was painful. Had coming back to life hurt Clark? It was possible after all, the chamber had malfunctioned.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Diana, outside the Batwing, fly past him and land on the ground. He hovered over her position. Something was wrong.

"Bruce, where is the Fortress?" she said through the communicator.

Bruce checked the coordinates. They were in the right place, but the space ahead was empty.

"That's impossible, it was there an hour ago! "

He opened the Batwing's roof and jumped to the ground, slowing his fall with his cape. He then examined the place with Diana, looking for tracks on the icy Antarctic ground. He could see nothing.

"He must have moved the Fortress. But to find it... "

"He feels threatened. We don't know what Brainiac got out of his head. Or what he did with it."

"J'onn didn't sense another telepathic presence in Clark's head, if that's what you mean. Brainiac didn't put anything in his head. "

The Amazon crossed her arms, glaring at him. He knew exactly what she was thinking: she was thinking that it hadn't even been two hours since Clark had returned and he was already considering him as a potential danger. Bruce couldn't help but think of the worst possibilities. Someone had to do it.

"Clark may be back," Diana suggested.

"If so, he won't be there long. "

The brunette nodded.

"We'll split up. I'll go to Metropolis and you go to Smallville. I'll meet you at headquarters. "

Bruce nodded. A minute later, they went their separate ways.

Bruce didn't hear a sound as he stepped onto the ground. Martha Kent still hadn't returned and he didn't know where she was. Searching around to make sure no one was home, he didn't hesitate to pick the lock on the back door of the house and enter.

Tidy, clean, no one seemed to be there for a while. Everything seemed to be in its place, except for a few family photos. Bruce was convinced that it was already too late. It wasn't until he went up to Clark's room that he was sure.

Nothing. There was nothing left in that room. No pictures, no drawings, no phone, no passports, nothing. Only the items of a teenage bedroom remained, like the Chiefs posters. But anything remotely related to Clark was gone. If he had to prove that he lived here, he would have had nothing reliable. No clothes either, nor anything in the bathroom. Clark had decided to cover his tracks.

Bruce left, locking up behind him again, then headed for the barn, Clark's place of refuge. While the telescope was still there, everything else had been stripped of personal effects. It was nothing like the time he'd come here. He searched the barn from top to bottom, finding nothing.

He sat down where Clark was sitting to look through his telescope and took a deep breath. If Clark had emptied his family home, his apartment in Metropolis must be empty, too. His suspicions were being confirmed. If he felt threatened, the Man of Steel had decided to disappear. Bruce tried to remember the names on the passports, but he hadn't paid much attention to the identities. Besides, he was sure Clark must have gotten rid of them. He had learned that before he had put on the Superman suit, he had traveled, each time under a different identity.

Clark knew how to disappear. This fact upset Bruce. He doubted his ability to find him. He had never known, after investigating him, which countries Clark had visited. He had only been able to trace some of the places he had been to by finding unbelievable facts in the local newspapers about Clark's possible involvement.

But on those occasions, he hadn't acted when he felt he was being stalked. If he did, this time Clark would keep a low profile. He would not intervene. Superman might not put on his cape again.

Bruce pounded his fist against the wooden wall. Why was Clark turning his back on them too? Why wasn't he asking for their help? That he didn't ask for his own, he could understand after the story of the container, but that he didn't tell anyone else...

Was he going to tell Diana? Ignore him and talk to the Amazon? He couldn't help but feel a touch of jealousy. That he'd rather confide in Diana always made him feel something. But Clark didn't owe him anything. Even if they... if they had grown close...

He stood up, removing his hood to run a hand over his face. Should he have said something to Clark? About them? He'd been sure there was no blur between them, though. He sighed. He longed to see Clark, to talk to him, to touch him. And knowing that he was running away, that he was running from him, it hurt.

Bruce put his hood back on and walked out of the barn. He had one more place to check. He hoped he was wrong, with all his heart. He went to the place where Clark was buried. On his father's grave, he could see a huge bouquet of white roses still fresh. A last tribute before a time.

That's when he got the idea. If Clark was in Metropolis, he must have gone to Valhalla Cemetery. He must have gone to see Kara. He ran back to the Batwing. If he had a chance to catch Clark before he disappeared, it would be there.

He made his way through the alleys and headed straight for Kara's grave. Bruce's heart was racing. There were civilians in other alleys, but he didn't care. All he could think about was seeing Clark again. And he was afraid of missing him.

He ran at the end. He didn't realize he had accelerated. It wasn't until he saw that familiar figure that he stopped short. Clark was still wearing the white jumpsuit they had put on him. Standing in front of the monument to Kara, Clark had placed flowers among all the others that had been placed there along the way. He had obviously carved Kryptonian on the monument and the El symbol, as well as a phrase in her memory.

Bruce didn't know how to approach him. He had the impression that the slightest false move would scare the Kryptonian away. He felt like a predator doing everything he could to keep his prey from running away. He tried the softest approach possible.

"Kal? "

He had no idea how he would react. Bruce was tense. More than tense. The Kryptonian kept his eyes on the stone as he spoke:

"She didn't deserve this. What they did to her... "

He clenched his fists. Bruce then saw sprays of energy travel down Clark's back and the rest of his body. The Bat approached cautiously.

"What happened to her is not your fault. "

"It's totally my fault. I should have protected her. It was my responsibility. "

The energy surging from Clark's body intensified. Bruce shifted out of caution.

"Kal, calm down. "

The man took a deep breath and unclenched his fists. After several seconds, the energy diminished but did not disappear. Bruce approached again, but Clark stepped back. He looked into his empty blue eyes.

"You should have left me dead. "

That froze Bruce in place.

"You... you don't mean that... "

His voice came out slurred. It hurt him, hearing and seeing this. Facing him, Clark stood straight, looking as solid as a rock.

"I mean it. It would have been better for everyone. "

The visible energy around Clark vanished. He turned his head to the grave, then to Bruce.

"Supergirl and Superman died in that lab. They're not coming back. "

And without warning, Clark flew away, leaving the Bat alone.

It had taken Bruce an hour to get back to the Watchtower, after Clark had left. He hadn't been able to react. What Clark had said had scarred him. He couldn't think of anything else, couldn't think straight. He had that image of Clark, that blank look he had, that intonation in his voice. J'onn was right, Clark was a shadow of his former self.

How could he have believed for a moment that even if everything went well, Clark would come out of what he had experienced unscathed? Anyone who had experienced such torture would have been scarred by it. And then he was dead. That was trauma enough. And now Kara was dead...

"Bruce! Were you able to search the farm?" Diana asked as she came up to him.

Barry and Victor were with her.

"Clark is gone. "

The word hurt even more. He turned his head away.

"He left Metropolis, too. His apartment was completely empty. He covered his tracks pretty quickly," the Amazon explained.

Bruce couldn't help but think that Clark must have been used to this, and that somewhere along the line, he'd always been prepared for it.

"So how are we going to find him?" asked Barry.

They looked at Bruce, who didn't answer. He didn't know. He didn't know if it was a good thing to find him either.

"We won't be able to," Victor answered for him. "Is that what you meant? "

Victor stared at him and waited for an answer. Bruce didn't even know at the time what he had really meant.

"I saw Clark. He made it clear to me that we shouldn't have brought him back. Superman isn't coming back. "

The three were shocked.

"You... you mean he's leaving the League? "

Barry's look indicated that he couldn't believe it either.

"I don't know. "

"Maybe he needs time to recover. Clark has been through one bad patch after another," Victor said.

Diana put a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

"You've been talking to him," she asked.

Barry didn't hide his surprise. Bruce nodded.

"I didn't have time. "

At Diana's apologetic look, he turned back. It didn't matter anymore. At least, he was trying to convince himself that it didn't.