''The number you have tried to reach is not in service at this point, please –''
Hanging up the phone, he let out a deep sigh as he leaned back against the glass door once again. Sliding down against the door, he sunk down on the ground. Tears welled up in his eyes as he held onto his phone, trying to get a hold off himself as he started to shiver, his breathing heavy as he tried to keep himself from crying.
After building up the courage to call for hours, his hope was taken from him once again.
It took him a moment to get hang of himself again, still looking up at the stars. He had been through many low points in his life, but this low point was one he had no idea how to get out of.
He went to work again the following shift. His stomach was still upset, playing up but he knew that sitting at home, wallowing in his self-pity was not going to help him. Getting changed at the firehouse, he knew that he had to move on some day. He had to get a grip of his life again.
Walking towards his office, he ran into Brett.
''Brett!''
She looked back at him, surprised. Stopping and waiting for him to catch up.
''Have you heard from Gabby?'' He asked as he caught up with her as she kept on walking to the ambulance, a bit confused as they had never talked much. He did know Gabby had left most of her stuff at her place though. Besides that, she had send a postcard for the firehouse to Brett.
''Yeah…she called me,'' Brett nodded.
''I haven't been able to reach her,'' Matt said, not wanting to lead on that she had not been in contact with him, but wanting to find out how she had been able to reach her, while he had just gotten phone calls that could not be connected.
''Are you sure you got the right country code? Took me a moment to figure out.''
''Right, yeah, must make a mistake there,'' Matt said as he slowed down as they had nearly reached the ambulance.
''You must be excited for her visit. Even if it is just to pick up more stuff, what are you going to do now that she moves there indefinitely?''
This time, he couldn't come up with something in time, nor could he hide the disappointment on his face.
''I am sorry-''
''It's okay,'' Matt said, forcing a smile onto his face, although he felt hurt, knowing that Gabby had not even told him she was coming back for a visit.
When she had left him, they had talked about having to meet up at one point to settle the divorce. He hadn't say anything and neither had she.
Instead she had just left the following day, both of them probably hoping to figure it out later in time.
''She probably still wanted to let you know.''
''Yeah,'' Casey smiled just a bit, walking towards his office then. Closing the door, he sunk down on the bed.
He knew. At least, deep down in inside he had known that she wouldn't be coming back. Even if she had come back to Chicago, she had not come back to him. If she would have, she wouldn't have left him.
They could've moved on, even with her gone for a few months. He would have waited.
But they hadn't talked about that. They hadn't talked about anything as she had packed her bags and left, only a little kiss on his cheek before she had left.
Before he could even process the news, Kelly came barging in as he looked concerned.
''What is wrong?''
''Gabby is staying Puerto Rico, forever.''
It came out a lot more bitter than he had meant it to. He respected her so much and he wanted for her to make her dreams come to true. It was however not easy at all, knowing that he had to let her go.
He was a Chicago guy, and he was pretty sure he was always going to be. Sure he was brave, running into burning buildings. But she was brave in a whole different way than he was and it was something he greatly admired her for.
It was possibly that one day he would have to accept that to be the way his life was going to go, but he still hoped for something different.
Without saying anything, Kelly took the laptop. As Matt hadn't worked since they had looked at the tickets, they popped up as soon as Matt logged in.
''I think you should just go, Matt,'' Kelly encouraged him.
Looking at the plane tickets on his screen, he had soon made his choice.
He had just packed his bags when there was a knock on the door. Cursing under his breath, he walked to the door, opening it to find Christopher Herrmann on the other side.
''Kelly told me you are flying to Puerto Rico tomorrow – he didn't want to tell me, but I kept on bothering him.''
Casey nodded, knew that Kelly had not told on purpose.
''Cindy found some old clothes from the kids, thought you might want to take it if you have some place left in your luggage – I know Gabby –''
''Yeah, I will take them, thank you very much,'' Matt smiled as he took them from Herrmann.
''Cindy also put together a little lunch packet for you for on the plane. I told her not to do it, but she insisted,'' Herrmann said a bit embarrassed as he handed it over, but Casey didn't mind, it was very sweet and it showed how much his firehouse family cared about him.
''Don't worry, it's very nice of her.'' Matt smiled at the lunch packet. The Herrmann's were exactly the type of family he had never had. If only he had had Cindy and Christopher as his parents.
It was the type of family he had wished he and Gabby ever would have.
''Want to come in for a second?''
''Sure,'' Hermann nodded as it was still raining outside. He sat down, surprised, but happy to see that the apartment was in decent shape. Although Gabby had never fully told about the mess she had found Casey in after he had lost Hallie, he knew it wasn't good.
''Does Gabby know you are coming?''
''I haven't been able to reach her,'' Matt admitted. Not only did he know that she no longer had the same phone number, he had been too scared to call her. He was too worried that she would just tell him not come.
That things were really over.
''Are you go to see her for sure?''
''I don't know,'' Matt admitted. It was something he worried about, he had not reached Gabby yet. He had tried to call her just a few times, but had not been able to reach her.
He could have asked her new number from Brett. But he didn't feel comfortable doing so, knowing that Gabby had not given it to him.
''I should get home to Cindy and the kids – you and Gabby…I just, I just hope you are going to be okay.'' Herrmann told him, laying his hand on Casey's shoulder for just a second.
''Thank you,'' Matt just smiled, although he wasn't so sure anymore. His hope was taken over by worries and nerves.
The following morning, he didn't have much time to ponder if he had made the right choice.
Walking out of the apartment, he locked the door.
The whole night he had had a pit in his stomach as he had barely slept. He knew there was a chance that when he arrived, he wouldn't even be able to reach her. There was chance he would be out there on Puerto Rico alone for two weeks.
That was something that in the back of his mind, deeply frightened him.
It seemed so stupid, almost uncultured even. He was going somewhere he had no idea what to expect or how to give himself shape or form.
He had only left Illinois a few times to go congresses, meet fellow firefighters from across the country.
Having grown up on the South Side and coming from a broken family, he knew it wasn't really his fault that he had never seen much of the world. Growing up, his world had been defined by where the L-train would take him. It had been defined by the street he had grown up, none of the families living there any happier than his own. It had been defined by the firehouse that had become his world.
The first time he had even left Chicago was when he was nearly 15, only to see the boarding school his sister would attend and helping her move into the dorm.
It wasn't even a four hour drive away.
It was something he always greatly admired and respected about Gabby. She was so knowledgeable about other cultures, languages. She had seen so much more of the world than he ever would. When she had talked about Puerto Rico, the idea of leaving Chicago to go somewhere he didn't know anything had frightened him. The idea of his life changing like that had frightened him so much that instead, somehow, he had just let the love of his walk out and leave.
In the end it had not been as scary as living without the woman he so greatly cared about.
When Gabby had been telling about all the family visits to the Dominican Republic and how much family she had there, he had been jealous before. All he wanted was for one day to have a large family around him. A large family with Gabby.
That night all those years ago his mother had shot his dad, was also the day he had lost most of his family. Losing the person he cared the most about now as well, he felt more alone than he ever had.
But it made him feel even worse that he was nervous to fly and go to a strange country.
He wanted nothing more than to see Gabby again, and that made it all worth it. No matter how nervous it was and no matter how much he doubted.
Sitting on the steps in front of the building he lived, he was lost in thoughts as the uber arrived. He was awoken from his thoughts by the honk, getting up as he grabbed his bag and got in.
''O'hare huh? Going somewhere exciting?'' The uber driver asked friendly.
''Yeah.''
He didn't want to talk about it, as easy as it seemed to talk to a stranger, he couldn't get the words out of his mouth.
Instead, he looked at the city around him. He felt stupid for feeling like it was such a big deal to leave. It had when Gabby had asked him to leave when she had left.
At the airport he, got out of the car. Taking his bags out, he looked up at the planes taking up behind the building. He knew it wasn't the moment to get nervous. But he felt more nervous by the second. He had never flown before and leaving Chicago wasn't something he easily did.
But all he wanted, was to be with Gabby again.
Thank you so much for your responses on the previous chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter just as much. Please let me know what you thought and hopefully till next chapter!