Complete Summary: Behind these rotting wooden walls and corroded and warped ceilings lay individuals who are tortured and tormented down to their very souls. Inescapable fates went unabashed, unhealable scars and wounds that ran so deep marred once beautifully creamy skin. Blemishes of the earth, nay- lower than the dirt they walked on and scorned for their association, they await an ultimatum, for an absolution that they all knew would one day come. It was all a matter of when.
NOTES:
This is a DARK fic. It will more than likely have controversial topics and extensive dark scenes. This is a challenging fic for me and written for personal reasons.
Please, if you are underage or too immature to handle dark themes and adult situations, please leave.
No major notes for this chapter. Just some light fluff.
She was staring out at the stars tonight. She had just gotten Shippou to fall asleep for the night and was now trying to fall asleep herself. She was propped up on the pillows next to her little fox, running her fingers through his bangs. It was a calming gesture for both of them. Though, she had hoped it would put herself to sleep as much as it did Shippou. And now, she found her gaze passing over the large windows, left cracked open to allow the frigid breeze to seep into the room.
The two of them enjoyed the cold air. It was crisp and refreshing, and it reminded both Shippou and Kagome of the outdoors. They had come to find the wilderness as a home, albeit a large one. The scent of the outside world was simply another calming effect on them, though even more so for Shippou.
It was only when the curtains shifted that she knew she needed to get up and close the windows. The breeze was picking up outside, and she certainly didn't need either of them to catch their deaths. She stopped fiddling with Shippou's hair and scooted herself across the expanse of the bed before pushing herself to her feet. A quick assessing glance at Shippou had her confirming that he was still sleeping soundly. She crept over to the windows and closed them; a soft click affirmed that the windows were secure once more.
Kagome shuffled quietly over to her backpack, which she'd left next to a tall vanity mirror in a corner. She caught a glimpse of herself and decided to straighten her flowery-pink pajamas before rummaging through the oversized bag. When she returned to the modern era for a visit with her mother, she would need to tell her about choosing a color other than pink. She had so many pink items, it was close to stifling.
She found her pink tumbler -grimacing at yet another pink item she possessed- and popped it open for a sip of her water, only to discover it was empty. She was parched, and she didn't exactly have an escort at the moment. Getting to the kitchens by herself wouldn't be an easy feat. She couldn't very well use the bathwater from the manmade springs- something about that seemed unclean and unsanitary. Not to mention it was warm water andher desire for cool water sort of outweighed that fact. Perhaps she could just... wait till morning? She cleared her throat as quietly as she could, glancing once more at Shippou. His hearing was as sensitive as Inuyasha's. He seemed to murmur in his sleep and rolled over to snuggle further into the comforter. Nope. She needed that water.
Decision made, she let out a soft sigh and straightened herself up before she made her way over to the door of their room. Her feet padded softly against the tatami mats as she tiptoed over to her discarded slippers next to the door. She checked Shippou one more time before slipping past the door and out into the hallway. She set her slippers down on the marble flooring and stepped into them carefully- she really didn't want to accidentally wake up Shippou and struggle to get him to sleep all over again.
It was eerie... the hallway. If this were a movie, this hallway was precisely the kind of scene it needed to make an atmospheric horror film. The quiet was a tad unsettling, and it was dark enough where she needed her flashlight. She was far from confident that she'd make it all the way to the kitchens for a drink of water but also knew she didn't want to disturb Shippou by having a coughing fit all night long. So, reserved, she shuffled forward.
She chose the direction Yumi had taken her and the kids. She knew for a fact that the kitchens were this way. However, after coming upon a fork in the hallway, she was left to choose which direction it was in. You would think that a division in the hallway was a telling sign of which direction to head in, but they all looked like exact replicas of each other! She silently wished she hadn't gotten so caught up in conversation with the kids- perhaps she might've easily been able to make her way otherwise. She also silently cursed whoever designed the hallways to look like a maze in the first place.
But she continued on.
She bit her lip as she walked further along the corridor. Nothing looked familiar, and everything looked the same! It was a dizzying labyrinth that seemed never-ending. She had to touch the wall at some point because there were no windows in this hallway. She distinctly remembered a hallway with no windows... but did she need to take that path or one with windows? For the life of her, she couldn't remember. She looked at each direction with a critical eye, but each hall faded into a much darker space.
With a deep breath to steady her heart, she picked her path and walked forward. Her hand slid across the wall before it came in contact with something soft. She really couldn't see much, just a few darker shadows within the darkness. She tried to discern exactly what she was looking at, but it was futile. She spread both of her hands outward, and she thought it felt familiar. She just couldn't place it.
"As much as I appreciate your perusal of my features," a deep, amused tone reached her ears, "I am fairly certain you do not want to reach any further down."
She jumped, snatching her hands back to herself, and her face reddening with embarrassment. She was utterly flustered- she had just felt up Sesshomaru. Of all people. With her eyes wide and her hands trembling, "I-I am so sorry!" She apologized, bowing. "I can't really see too well, and I was just trying to feel the wall, a-and..."
"You are in the wrong corridor," he commented, and she suddenly felt her hand in his. "Come, I will guide you to your destination."
"I am heading to the kitchens," she informed, "I thought I was heading in the right direction."
"You needed to take the path on the left at the fork," he advised, gently tugging her ahead. Her head swam with thoughts of embarrassment as she allowed him to guide her.
They walked in silence for a few moments; the only sounds echoing through the halls were of his boots clicking and her slippers sliding across the floor and occasionally slapping the back of her heel. Of course, she, with her uncomfortable self, decided she needed to speak... if only to break the ice. "I kinda wanted to explore," she confessed bashfully. "I haven't really had the chance to truly have a look around. You know... without being nannied by the maids or without the children."
"It is inconsequential," he replied, "I have my doubts that you would have been able to traverse the west wing without being seized by the guards, however."
"Was that where I was headed?" She asked curiously.
"Indeed," he said. Though Kagome couldn't see him too well, she could just barely make out his silhouette in the darkness. When they finally came upon the fork again, the moon's light filtered in from the massive windows to illuminate his features. His eyes practically glowed in the darkness now that she could see his face.
"How come guests aren't allowed in the west wing?" She asked, wondering if he'd give her the same answer the twins had.
"It is the family wing," he responded, "for you to have entered the west wing would signify that I fancy your presence in my chambers."
Kagome blushed, and a soft "Oh" was the only response she could give him. Her embarrassment for the night was undoubtedly climbing, and she wondered briefly if he could tell.
Finally reaching the kitchens, Sesshomaru crossed through them, guiding them outside and to the water well beyond the doors. She quickly filled her tumbler, being as swift as she could manage, and closed the lid before taking a sip. She offered him a gentle smile in appreciation for his help.
"I had Shippou relocated to my room," Kagome said offhandedly, "I didn't like that he was by himself in the nursery..."
"I expect no less," he said, "I have done the same for Rin."
Kagome stood to full height, her smile never faltering. "Thank you for escorting me. I'm pretty sure I'd still be fumbling around in the dark had I not run into you."
"Would you care to visit my private gardens?" He asked, and she couldn't help but think it was so... out of character.
"I thought you said I'd be seen as a concubine if I entered the west wing?" She asked teasingly. Though she hardly cared what others thought of her, she wasn't about to start now.
"I am the Lord of this palace," he said, confidence flowing through his tone, "I care not what others think. I should think you similar."
"Your assumption would be correct," Kagome said with a smirk, attempting to sound 'smart.' "Such a scandalous affair would hardly be of any consequence to either of us." Her tone came out more flirty than she had initially intended it to, but she had gotten this far, and she wasn't going back.
With a raise of his eyebrow, he outstretched his arm, and she grasped it, consciously aware of their proximity to one another. She was beginning to think that her blushing might actually become a permanent feature on her face.
Several winding hallways later, the pair finally exited the palace into the gardens. It wasn't unlike Rin's, but it was undoubtedly much more organized and well-cared for. The garden's entirety had a more sleek look, smoother and less of a maze than what Rin's garden looked like. The stone path they followed had been cleared of snow, and everything was still in full bloom- much like Rin's. However, Rin's garden only had colorful wildflowers; this one had a wide variety of flora.
He led her to a fountain where she could sit on its lip to rest for a moment or two. He sat with her, and the two gazed up at the stars. "I guess I should consider myself lucky," she commented, "to have been personally invited to Lord Sesshomaru's personal gardens." There was a twinkle in her eyes as she said it, giving him a pointed glance. "Your garden is lovely."
"It was Mother's," he said with a sigh, "a gift from Father and began with the white roses." He nodded his head in a direction past her field of view. She turned her head to look and saw a line of rose bushes that ran along the palace wall.
"Gorgeous," she said, and he stood at that moment.
He walked over to the bushes, and with a flick of his wrist, cut one of the precious, delicate bulbs. Kagome gasped -at first from the horror of cutting the roses- but then out of pure wonder. She watched as two more bulbs grew in place of the bulb that used to be there. It was like watching a time-lapse video of a plant's growth. With wide eyes, she watched as Sesshomaru brought the bulb over to her. "These rose bushes' true name is called 'Creeping Vines,'" he explained, "in the old days, they would use these vines to help stall enemies. The bulbs and vines that were cut would grow in double the amount, and the more rapidly they were cut, the more they grew. The vines would produce twice as thick. Planting them ensured they would grow tall and wide." He fastened the bow in her hair, his touch lingering a moment as she stared up at him curiously. "Their bulbs have many rich qualities as well. Their petals can be brewed into a calming tea or crushed into a paste to help absolve impurities from wounds. The bulbs themselves never die because they are imbued with youki."
It was true. It was very minuscule, but Kagome could feel the youki emanating from the bulb in her hair. It fascinated her. She reached up to touch it delicately with her fingers and quickly realized the bulb wasn't entirely smooth like she initially assumed. Its petals were incredibly soft, but each petal also had hardened ridges, giving each a razor-sharp look.
With a smile, she looked at Sesshomaru, astonished at such a wonderful gift. "Thank you," she said, her cheeks pinkening yet again.
"The white rose also symbolizes purity," he commented, "I feel it suits you."
"Purity, huh?" She asked, "Is that a reference to me in general or the fact that I'm a priestess?" She raised an eyebrow of her own, pure curiosity at what he would say. She raised her tumbler to her lips for a casual sip of her water.
"Both," he commented, "I smell your purity and your power."
Kagome nearly choked on her water, briefly wondering if he referred to innocence or the fact she was a virgin. "You can actually smell power?"
"It radiates from your skin," he said, "a spicy scent such as hot pepper, but sweet... similar to the flower in your hair."
"Wow," she said, "I knew youkai had powerful noses, but I didn't think..." She shook her head.
"It is a trait that inu have in general," he said simply as he sat next to her once more. "Other species, such as bird or bear, do not have the same sense. It is why the inu are in administration currently."
The two of them sat in comfortable silence. It was, perhaps, the first time in a long while the two had been alone together. The last time Kagome could recall was when they were all hunting down Naraku, and even then, it was far from comforting. She idly wondered when their relationship had begun to change. Had it been during the time she had cared for Rin? Or was it before then? After?
She thumbed at her tumbler as she lost herself to her thoughts. "You needn't worry about your purity," Sesshomaru said, pulling her attention to him. "Even without the innate ability, any and all can feel the power emitting off your skin."
"Oh," Kagome said with a shake of her head, "I wasn't worried. I was just thinking about how much things have changed since Naraku's defeat."
He seemed to ponder this as well- apparently, he didn't give it much thought before.
"Indeed," he finally responded, "the events that followed after Naraku's demise were tedious and not wholly unexpected."
Kagome gave him a curious look, "What did you do after? I mean after we beat Naraku."
"As you know, I left Rin in your care," he said with a nod of his head, "afterward, I came here to the palace. There were matters of state I had long neglected while traversing the countryside. I also dealt with the palace council. I had them removed to ensure Rin's safety."
"How many members are on the council?"
"Twelve," he responded, almost flippantly. "Hence the tedious events."
"Twelve?" She asked incredulously, "you kicked twelve people out of their home?"
He looked her in the eye, "They ate human for breakfast. Goes well with the red sauce from across the seas and boiled vegetables."
She gulped for a moment as she thought about this fact. "You... you've eaten human?"
"Taste like veal," he responded as if it were inconsequential. "Not one of my preferred meals." He flashed a fang at her, and her mouth dropped open.
"You're teasing me!" She said with a laugh as she nudged his arm with her hand.
He finally offered her a hand to stand. "Come, allow me to escort you to your chamber."
She offered him a dazzling smile, placing her hand in his. And again, she was led through the winding hallways back to her room.
"Thank you, Sesshomaru," she said when they finally reached her door. "I had a wonderful adventure." There was a twinkle in both of their eyes as she cracked her door open to make sure Shippou hadn't woken while she was gone.
"The pleasure was mine," he said with a slight bow. He released Kagome's hand and allowed her to slip past her door. The door closed behind her with a soft click.
She could remember how warm and large his hand felt beneath hers. She remembered leaning up against the door and willing her heartbeat to calm itself. She recalled several moments of deep breaths as she gathered herself enough to lay in bed with her little fox kit.
A tear slipped past her eyelid as she rolled onto her back. She was both happy and relieved. There was total silence this night- not a peep. No screaming nor sexual releases into the darkness: no mourning individuals or sobbing beggers. There weren't even any clicks of shoes echoing up and down the passages.
This was dangerous, however...
It left her with her thoughts. Her mind consumed her, forced her to remember. Forced her to recollect every face, every moment... It reminded her of better days long past. It also reminded her of her failures... of her regrets. It gave her too much time to reflect, and that reflection tortured her. Flashes of her friend's faces flickered behind her tightly closed eyelids. She wouldn't sob, not again. And she wouldn't allow herself any more than a few tears. She refused.
She curled herself tightly into a fetal position. What she wouldn't give to feel the warm, caring embrace of her mother. Of her darling adopted son. Hell, she'd take Naraku at this point. Rolling onto her side again, she let out a soft snicker at herself as another angry tear cascaded itself sideways and over her nose.
She idly wondered if anyone was out looking for her. If anyone would ever come for her. She couldn't tell how long it had been. It had to have been months. Perhaps a few years? She didn't know anymore. She lost count after just a first few days. So much had happened, and everything had begun blending together. She could barely discern day from night anymore.
She reached inside of her clothing and fingered the yellowed tassel she kept close to her heart.
"Are you thinking of me?" She whispered, and her voice was swallowed by the silence.