Yo! Son Goku and friends! Cell Saga (Chapter 8)
Master Carrot
People looked skyward, past the Orin Temple as a strange comet struck like a match across the clouds and into the bamboo forest east of East City. Several monks paid no mind to the strange incident, at least until the large bang that accompanied the arrival. Inside the main building housed two portraits, one of a beautiful man with platinum blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. Next to that was another of a strange, feral looking man with a mane so wild it defied reality and stuck out to his left.
The monks inside finished up their prayers, extinguishing the small smokey embers of their incense before they got up and checked the disturbance as a group. The whole school flocked to the edge of the archway, walking into the foggy unknown of the bamboo line.
Kffffffffffffffffffff~
"Hmph." A small charry figure scoffed from the dust and earth kicked up in their wake. Soon enough the clouds obscuring them from view finally parted only to reveal three absolutely jacked individuals, just monstrous. It can't be understated. The thing is, is that one of them was a small white bunny, his tattered clothes barely hanging on by a thread, his shirt not even being able to be called that anymore. The two others beside the bunny wore blue 'trenchcoats' but that name didn't apply anymore either, really only being blue skirts that only hung on due to being tied around the belt line, the rest of the top only hanging on as dirty scraps. The trio was filthy, mangy, bruised, and didn't smell very good to boot. Wherever they came from, it didn't seem like they had a very good time there to say the least.
Somehow, someway, the bunny's sunglasses were perfectly well kept, it didn't make any sense. As soon as the Orin academy reached the trio, the bunny leading the pack took a sizable and deafening chomp of the dull orange carrot in his paw.
CHOMPP!
"Gulll~"
The Bunny gazed over to the bald onlookers in priestly garb, raising a brow and tilting his glasses down in an intimidating manner before shielding his eyes with them once more.
CHONT!
He gave the pair beside him a tilting nod of the head. With nonverbal communication, the pair responded and started cracking their knuckles. They both wore goggles that also were immaculately well maintained considering.
"Don't tell me."
"What?"
"That these guys are who I think they are?"
"And who are they..? More importantly, who could they possibly be? They're from Earth are they not? No one sick actually comes from Earth."
"You wouldn't understand."
"That's just the default response people go to when they want to act like their opinion matters and don't have a viable answer to rebuttal with."
"Ah-hem."
The Orin students took on defensive posturing as the pair neared them, attempting to stop their advances.
"Hold on a minute. Who are you?"
The pair of men looked back to the white rabbit who finished the rest of his long carrot, chomping down and gazing back with one last ice cold stare. He drew a line across his furry neck which could only mean one thing.
Maloja
"Tch!" Maloja scoffed loudly as he waited atop an enormous pyramid with the sun beaming down on him. "Why'd I even ask such a vague question? That bitch, I knew she was gonna pull some genie-in-a-bottle type shit on me. 'I answered your question'." He mocked, bringing his hands up and clowning her all by his lonesome. "No you didn't and you know you didn't. 'Under the sun and under the moon, The Locust will guide you'. How am I supposed to figure out where a Dragon Ball is here? I'm not dumb, I know she meant the great pyramids of Kyodai but it's not like I have some magical device that just points them out. Shoulda tried harder to learn divination."
Maloja kept going on and on, complaining as the sun forced his mucky frame to ooze with sweat. He flapped his dusty and dirty green robe under the pressure, breathing out in a steady rhythm until he heard something tear across the sand.
"No. Way. What are people doing all the way out here? City folk too." Maloja commented as he peered at them through his staff, the red crystalline orb acting as a telescopic lens.
The sky car weaved through the dunes, parking just outside one of the great pyramids. He tapped on the staff a few more times and an ethereal warping force wrapped around his ear.
He could zone in not only on visuals, but sounds as well.
"Finally." The older gent in the driver's seat proclaimed as he stretched it out and raised his arms high.
"Oh just kill me now." The only woman in the group groaned as soon as she felt the heat impact her frame, wringing out a piece of paper from the passenger's side and fanning herself with it as she closed the car door.
"This is vat you signed up for. I don't really know vat you expected." A man with a poofy blue afro sassed back.
KLM!
"Four." Maloja said to himself as he scanned all the individuals. "Where's The Locust? None of them look like a bug to me. Are they insect researchers..? Or is The Locust more of a comment on which pyramid has a theme like that?" Maloja stroked his long salt and pepper scruff as he watched the more professional looking group enter one of the pyramids. "Interesting. Should I..?"
There was a long pause as the sun's rays hit him and he watched the group vanish into the giant single-pointed structure.
"Tsk-tsk-tsk." He sped by fast, weighing the options. "No. I'll wait for a clearer answer on The Locust. Then I'll make my move." He proclaimed with stoicism, sitting down in a huffy criss-cross position with his glossy red staff reflecting a bright light under the sun.
The Vinnie
"You're leaving already, guy?"
"I've got to go, Vinnie. There are 7 whole Dragon Balls. I've only found two, this one you've given me will be the third."
Vinnie looked down and jived his head to the low-fi beat in the background, his gaze shifted to that of the red velvet carpet. Cell sighed a bit deflated as well. He felt upon the crystalline orange orb, just allowing it to move smoothly around his large hand and fingers.
"You know what?"
"What is it, Jive Turkey?"
Cell stuck the Dragon Ball right onto Vinnie's chest.
"You keep it."
"..?"
"For now."
"What do you mean, my guy?"
"When I find the Dragon Balls, I'll just drop them off here and when I gather the 5, I'll take em' back to base."
"Oh."
"Is that gonna be a problem?"
"Not at all."
"I would like to watch more movies. It was pretty fun." Cell got out with a sheepish laugh and the rubbing of the back of his head.
"Hah~ Dope. Me too."
"Thank you."
"You too, brah. Stay safe out there. You never know what kinda weirdos are lurking around every corner."
With one final smile and a wave, Cell had exited the premises, leaving The Vinnie all by himself with nothing but his loud music, lawn gnomes and pink flamingos to keep him company.
Cell
Cell raised his brow at the revelation occurring on his device.
"I don't remember a Dragon Ball being this close last time I checked. I think this is..?"
He contemplated for a while while flying at his sharp speed, stopping on a dime as he overshot.
"Ahh, yes." Cell smiled as he pointed at a large billboard. "West City. It's near West City." Cell turned tail and went back the other way, gliding outside the edge of the city and exiting into the forested region to the west.
He flew over tall trees, grass and the beauty of nature. A large ground force of men caught Cell's attention as he flew past, the sound of his wings drawing their attention just the same. The bug-man raised a brow at all the individuals with gold embellishments, weapons, and loose garbs and bandanas. There were several bears, and humans in the band as far as the eye could see. The group just kept going as he scouted out the rest of the forest, some clearly gabbing about the strange creature in the sky above them.
"How many are there? I didn't know so many people lived out in the middle of nowhere like this." He looked over his shoulder to the skyscraper capsule buildings fading into the brush as he thought. "I thought they all lived in houses like that."
Soon enough Cell came across a gigantic brown fort in the middle of the forest, checking the radar he noticed that the ball was in fact not there.
"I wonder what they're all doing over there then." He pondered aloud as he scanned over the large boxes and chests the men carried to the hideout hidden by the treeline.
Cell shrugged it off and pierced the sky with intent elsewhere, checking the radar another time only to realise:
"Hah! I overshot again." He laughed out poshly before landing and jogging over to the location, this time with eyes locked onto the device to make sure he didn't pass it by. "I guess I'm just faster than I realised." Cell mused as he stepped towards a lone house by the sea.
Waves splashed onto the shore peacefully as squirrels and butterflies flittered near the abode. Whoever owned the home also took good care of the garden right of the porch. Smoke rose steadily from the top of the house out of the thin grey chimney. Cell squatted down and brushed his hand along them before standing up tall, checking the Dragon Radar one last time and knocking on the wood.
Knott-Knock!
"Hello?"
There was a long pause before an epic clearing of the throat.
"HhhEMMMMGH!"
Creeeaa~
"What do you want?" A crotchety but still distinctly buff old man asked as he buttoned up his crimson sweater vest.
"Hi. My name is-"
"Didn't ask your name, son, I asked what you were doing here."
"Actually sir, you asked me what I wanted. So if you're going to give me an attitude at least get it right."
"You're a real smartass, aren't you?"
"A what?"
"Not too bright neither."
Cell and the old man stared down outside the house, a tension already building between the two.
"Go on!"
"My life's goal is to find all 7 Dragon Balls. There are magical orange orbs with red stars on them. Do you happen to have one?"
"Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do."
"Could I have it?"
"Not a chance, loser."
SLAMM!
"Ah-" Cell gasped, totally stunned. "Sir?" He shot back somewhat intensely, peering through the windows from the outside.
Shhhhhhk!
The old man closed the blinds on him.
"I'm- How- ...What a rude old man." Cell stood there on the porch indignantly with his hands on his hips. "Who Does He Think He Is?"
Cell furrowed his brow and looked square at the forest green wooden door in front of him.
"I'm coming in!" He shouted before absolutely blasting the door off its hinges, thrusting the apparatus into the cozy log cabin's indoors.
KWONN! Da-Dumn!
"Damn hooligan!" The man hollered as Cell entered his residence.
"If you're not going to show me respect then I'm not going to show any to you." Cell pointed dramatically, his declaration a significant amount more believable than the bumbling persona he had at Giran's mansion.
"You trying to scrap you heathen?"
"No, I am not. I just need that Dragon Ball and I don't care which way I get it!"
"Follow me, then, damnit!"
Fwofff~
The man tore off his red sweater button up and threw it over onto the ground, his dog yapping up a storm as it gazed upon the bug-man. He was bursting at the seams, ripped to shreds for an old head, his veins drawn to the surface of his tight skin.
Tp. Dmp. Tmp.
The man walked with a determined swagger right past him, much to Cell's complete and utter confusion.
"Wha..?"
"You comin', Smartass?"
Cell threw up his hands in defeat.
"Shoot, I guess."
"Get the door behind ya'."
"But sir..? There's no door."
"That's right. Screw you!"
"..."
The pair strided into the bushes and treeline, fading behind the shadows cast.
"Where are we going?"
"You help me, you get your damn ball."
"Why help me? I…" He pointed towards the house that was now obscured by the greenery. "I just kicked your door down."
"That's why, Tough Guy. Anyone brazen enough to kick My goddamn door down definitely doesn't give two shits about The Taliban or those damn Somali Pirates."
"The Taliban? Pirates?"
"Damn militaristic forces stapled and glued together like a preschooler did it. They wouldn't know how to work in a group if they were joined at the hip and shat out the same ass."
"I'm lost."
"Don't worry, we're almost there."
"Okay…"
"..."
"What's your name..? Sir?"
"Robert."
"..."
"..."
"My name's-"
"Didn't ask."
"..."
"We're here." Robert proclaimed as he brushed some of the brush aside, revealing the keep through the leaves.
"So what're we doing?"
"We're breaking in there, and sending everyone to kingdom come."
"And that means..?"
"Christ, kid, what kinda' rock you living under?"
"I Was born yesterday."
"That tracks." Robert answered as he shook his head and rolled his eyes.
"So?"
"We're gonna beat their goddamn breaks off."
"And that means..? Beat em' up?"
"Maybe this business isn't for you."
"I'll have you know I've never lost a fight."
"What, in two days? Colour me surprised. You know anything about firearms?"
"No. What are those?"
"Weapons that fire high-speed projectiles. Designed so that men don't have to put their dukes up the old fashion way. They're for pussies."
"And that means?"
"I ain't got all day, Smart Aleck. Can you kick ass?"
"Yes sir." Cell answered with an emphatic salute.
"That's more like it."
The brush bristled as the men tore through, ambushing the many pirates wearing rags, bandanas, jeans, and wifebeaters. The pirates looked on in total disbelief as the short grandpa and tall bug-man walked confidently into the compound. Just about everyone dropped what they were doing and turned their attention to them, guns at the ready.
"Who the hell are you two supposed to be!? Ant Man and The Wasp!? Ha-Ha-"
WHAMM! BAMM!
Karate chop to the neck. Three shots, three KO's. This old man was pretty good, moved younger than his years for sure.
"Get those putos!" A tan man yelled from the top of the keep, setting a RPG over his shoulder and firing it.
Ga-THUNKK! Fyuuuuuuu~
Robert was preoccupied, not ready to block or defend the oncoming missile. Cell dashed next to the older 'gentlemen', bringing his left leg up high and slamming it into the rocket.
TWANGG! Pof.
The rocket stalled and landed on the grass like nothing happened.
"What the hell!? Get tha boss, vamanos!"
During the man's exaggerated call-out the others surrounding the area rained hell with their machine guns. Cell looked on curiously as the bullets moved slower than he had predicted. The bug-man moved in and caught every single bullet fired with excited precision.
Ting-Tin-Ting-Tink-Ting-Ting~
Robert looked over at his ally with wide eyes as Cell stared at the ground with intrigue. He pointed at the metal pellets on the ground lackadaisical.
"Why would you ever use a firearm?" Cell questioned plainly. "They don't seem to be very good."
The pirates from the top of the castle just about fell over themselves in disbelief, running back inside to go grab who they needed.
"You're a natural."
"Am I?"
"Good enough to get the job done, that's for sure."
"Who are these guys?"
"Pirates."
"And?"
"They're The Warlord's men. He's been doing some deals here for a few weeks now. West City isn't gonna do anything about it because it's out of their city and they've been quiet enough. Been sailing out to other cities through the ocean and living snug here in their hideout. That's horseshit if you ask me though, they're supposed to protect and serve so what are they doing?"
"But are these guys even doing anything bad?"
"Half of those crates are filled with gold, the other half is filled with hard drugs. The typa' stuff that makes you see things that go bump in the night. That and besides, you're supposed to have a permit for a firearm. That's not to mention a goddamn rocket launcher."
DMM!
The massive double doors to the keep were thrust open, half a dozen men on each side, struggling to heave the heavy doors aside to make way for the big bear. He possessed a red mohawk, a matching red fencing frock, stark white parachute pants, brown coin sacks that jingled as he walked, a sizable sniper rifle over his shoulder, and a large sabre at his left side. He motioned with his right paw and his men entered into position, getting weapons ready.
"What are you punks doing here? You got a death wish or somethin'?"
"I'm just here because I need the Dragon Ball."
"Dragon what? You one of those fruity muhfuckas?"
"What?"
The air was still as The Warlord looked them over.
"Well we ain't got nothin' like that for you."
"I know. I'm getting the Dragon Ball from this guy." Cell stated matter-of-factly as he pointed at Robert.
"I ain't got time for this. We're gonna beat you to death and if you're lucky we might think about giving you a proper burial instead of just letting you rot at sea."
"I'm not sure you'll be capable of doing that, sir."
"Why not?"
"I'm 2 for 2."
"2 for 2 whats?"
"Fights. I've fought two people and won both fights."
"Ah-Haw-Haw-Haw~"
"Boss." One of the men with bandanas motioned with a whispering hand and intonation. "Psspsspsspsspss."
"Ahuh."
"Psspsspss."
"He did what now?"
"Psspsspss."
"But I can tank bullets too so what's the problem?"
"Psspsspss."
"So he can kick rockets out of the sky?"
"Psspsspss."
Robert crossed his arms in a characteristic old-man way, rolling his eyes at the young hooligans.
"Big whoop, I'm gonna kick this guy's ass. If I end up beating the crap out of him, you're fired. And if I lose..? You're still fired."
"Huh~" He gasped.
KOMM!
The large mercenary bear quickscoped on Cell, shooting a blazing fast round from his sniper rifle. Cell just palmed it like nothing, smoke steaming off his hand from the heat. He held it between his index and thumb like it were a point of interest and not a red-hot bullet just fired from a non-regulated sniper rifle.
The Warlord just stared at the bug-man before him in disbelief. Cell threw the bullet up in the air and flicked it back at the bear, piercing his left eye in one fell swoop. He winced, big time.
"Sorry." Cell apologised as he brought his hands up in apprehension.
Twinkk! Sklatt!
"AAAAAAGHHH!"
"Boss!"
"Who the hell is this guy!?" The Warlord cried as he fell onto his butt, clutching onto the streaming pink of his goopy jello.
"Oh god, boss, it's hideous."
"Don't say that~" The Warlord whimpered on the ground.
"We'll be back!" They shouted as they brought out stretchers and evacuated the residence in a flash, bringing their bear leader out of the fray and into the forest.
"That was easy. Didn't mean to hit him in the eye with that though." Cell let out as he cringed a bit.
"Buncha' pussies." Robert called out as the last of the bandits escaped into the green shadows of the treeline.
"So?"
"So what!?"
"I get the Dragon Ball now, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, stop busting my balls."
"Busting your balls?"
"You sure ask a lot of questions for a smartass, guess you're really a dumbass."
"Sir, I just don't know a lot of the uhh~"
"What?"
"I don't know… just… the speech." Cell answered as he looked about the leaves, raising his hands in defeat.
"Shhuh~" He scoffed, shaking his head at the bug-man once more. Robert jogged through the open archway, walked the brown decorated concrete of his humble abode, and fetched the orange ball across the way.
Cell eyed a particular blue punching bag in the middle of a ring on the left side of his house which was really just a loft. There were no rooms in the home, just a giant open space.
"Here. Take it and get out of my face."
"Thank you, sir."
The man blushed from embarrassment.
"Just get on outta here, I don't got time for this."
"Whatever you say. Oh… Uhm..."
"Out with it!"
"Do I need to pay for the door or..?"
"Get the hell outta here."
Cell backed up defensively, hands held high as he bumped his head on the archway.
"Oof! Man, this doorway's really small." Cell commented as he palmed the top and dipped under, fluttering his wings fast and rocketing off into the aether.
Krillin
Giran's courtyard still looked nice, the only way you could even tell that a struggle took place were the two busted-up columns on the back entrance of the mansion and the slightly off-hinges gates. Krillin and Lapis stood stoic under the burning sunlight of the day, asking questions to well dressed women huddled in a somewhat 'organised' group.
"Can you tell me what his motives were?"
"Uhh..?" The girl looked back and tilted her shades down, chomping on her gum and flapping her pink fur coat. She chewed a few more times with an open mouth, very distracting before she fixed her pseudo-pompadour. "I think he wanted something called the Dragon Nuts. Chw~ I don't know what else to say other than that Giran clowned him for even askin'."
"The wha-ha-hat!?" Lapis asked, absolutely busting out laughing.
Krillin was not laughing at all.
"Dragon Balls?"
"No, amigo, she clearly said the Dragon Nuts. Totally different."
"You might be right now that I think about it." The woman pondered as she put a finger to her glossy pink lip.
"That's all that I need to know."
"Really? You don't want to hear anything else that happened?"
"Lapis?"
"..?"
"Could you be a dear and take over for me?"
"For what? What are you talking about?"
"I know how to find the Dragon Balls. If that murderer is looking for them then I have him dead to rights and he doesn't even know it." Krillin pulled down on his hat harshly and checked his phone before looking back at his partner. "Can you send me a link to that video on the news?"
"I mean if it's on YouTube yeah, but if not I'd have to go to ZTV and ask for it."
"Then do that."
"Bruh." Lapis shot back, shaking his head as Krillin blasted off.
VYUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuu~
The Vinnie
"Whoa dude~ you smell awful!" Vinnie greeted Cell at the door, pinching his nose with an iron grip.
"I do?"
"Yeah, guy, I guess I just didn't notice it last time."
"Huh." Cell checked himself, looking at his sleek black and green colours.
Vinnie snatched the Dragon Ball and looked it over.
"Two stars?"
Cell strided in, closing the door behind him.
"Seriously dude, go take a shower."
"What's a shower?"
"Damn. You really are a caveman."
"..."
"Just go back in that room over there, turn the dial over to H and tug at the dial outwards to get the water running."
"Turn the dial to H, and pull it outwards…" Cell mimed to himself as he walked towards the door.
The door in the back shut the same time the door in the front came alive with hard knocks. Vinnie raised a brow, perturbed, tossing the Dragon Ball into a glass bowl on the countertop with the other.
"Okay, I get my first two visitors in three months during the same week? Colour me surprised. Next thing I know it's just gonna be an alternate timeline version of Cell, or some whacky shenanigans like that." Vinnie mocked as he made his way across the red velvet and swung open the front door to that of the opps.
"Greetings sir." The short and stout cop greeted as he seemed to shove a device of some sort into his back pocket.
"Keep it cool, Vince." Vinnie stared back ice cold. "How can I help you, Officer?" He shot back with an epic smile.
"Can I come in? I'm looking for a strange item that might be related to a case I've been working on for what now… must be over a decade."
There was a little bit of hesitancy, but Vinnie thought he might play nice.
"Yeah, go ahead."
The short cop stepped through the doorway and scanned the room with the thoroughness of a snitch.
"I'm looking for the man in this video." The short guy in uniform brought out his phone and showed a playback of Cell getting knocked into some lawn chairs.
"OH SHIT!"
Vinnie was pretty goated. Ever since a young age, Vincent Thesp has had a huge interest in acting and movies in general. In Orange Star High School he starred as Romeo in Romeo and Juliet for his senior year. Now as a lonely bachelor with a lot of time on his hands he spent most of his waking moments watching movies and acting them out all by his lonesome, he was a way better actor than he was supposed to be.
"What'd this fool do? Fall into the Nickelodeon gack?"
The cop busted out a laugh.
"Okay, that was pretty good. But uhm~"
Vinnie noticed a peculiarity.
Whoever this cop was, he was intent on hiding his left arm in his coat.
"Why would he do that?" He couldn't stop himself from thinking.
"The man in this video is wanted for murder."
"WHAT!?" "That's wild. Who'd he kill?" Vinnie asked politely, hand on his chest.
"Giran, the most recent tournament winner in The Tenkaichi Budokai series. He killed him just outside his new mansion."
"Whoa~" "Did Cell really do that? I find it hard to believe, why would Cell be so nice to me then? Doesn't seem like a violent guy at all…"
"Sir?"
"What's up?"
"I like those little crystal balls you got there. Those are some nice little ornaments."
"Thanks. You like the fine threads, guy?" He asked while popping his bright orange button up. "They say that the clothes make the man."
The cop straight up avoided his question in pursuit of his own.
"Where'd you get them?"
"Come on, Vinnie. Don't fuck it up." He thought a mile a minute as he walked over calmly and palmed the two spheres, throwing the 4 star ball at the officer. "Found this one just the other day while looking at the dinosaur eggs across the mountain ridge over there. And that one~" He motioned over to the one the he threw at the officer. "-crash landed outside my house like a year ago now."
The cop had a bit of nervousness about him.
"What did the ball look like when it crashed?"
"Shit. Does that even implicate him in any way? I guess not, because it's the truth and he really did have nothing to do with that one…" "It's weird dude. Like, I don't believe in magic but I swear that one you're holding was like just a stone when it landed. I didn't even wash it off or nothing. It just came to life one day and was that beautiful colour you're seeing now."
"Maybe this guy is telling the truth." Krillin pondered as he studied the 4 star ball. "He really could be just freakishly lucky."
"..."
Vinnie kept it cool, no sudden moves, no harsh swallowing, he was honestly convincing.
"Your shower's running, you got someone in there?"
"Think fast, Vinnie." "Yeah, my smoking hot wife. You know what..?"
"..?"
"I think she likes short guys like you, she'd probably let me film as you just went to town on her."
The cop just sharpened his brow as a look of disgust tore across his face, only heightened by the stranger's OK sign and tongue-out combo he had going.
"This guy's a freak freak." Krillin kept to himself as he tightened the top of his police cap. "No matter. I know he has two Dragon Balls." He mused, locking eyes on the 2 star ball. "And whoever's in the shower actually has a ki signature. I'll need to remember what it feels like."
Krillin motioned to toss the ball, the man got into position to receive and then it was out of his hands. The New Detective had many thoughts as he brandished a notepad and clicked in his black pen loudly, his left arm finally coming out to play.
Krillin had gotten good enough now to cast The Two Witches without any handsigns, something Tien wasn't even capable of.
"Officer?"
"..?"
"What are you doing?"
"Just taking some notes."
"Okay."
"Thanks very much for your time. I've got some things to do back at the precinct… Have fun with your… wife…"
Clicc.
"Damn I really just sold my soul for that one, huh. Where's his car?"
FYUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuu~
"Oh. So everyone flies now? That makes no sense."
SSSSSSSSssssssssssTee~
Cell stepped out of the bathroom moments later, dripping all over the floor.
"Bro! Not on the carpet!"
"What?"
"Wipe yourself off dude, are you nuts!?"
"HAH-HEH-HAH! Sorry!" Cell apologised with a chipper cadence, waltzing back onto the tile.
"What am I gonna do with this dude? If he really did kill someone, he's definitely gonna get fucking caught. He's way too dumb to not leave a trail." Vinnie thought as he shook his head and laughed at the absurdity of it all.
Krillin
Krillin gave the radar another look, eyeing it carefully before he got a call on his cell phone, the unexpected ring kind of spooked him as it brought The New Detective out of his focused trance.
Rrrrring!
"Hello? Chief?"
"..."
"What?"
"..."
"I'm working a case right now, I don't really have the time to~"
"..."
"What!?"
"Gingertown is under siege by some bandits! These guys are strong! We can't handle them, bullets don't even phase them! I don't know why but there are carrots everywhere!"
"Are you serious?"
"I'm dead serious! Why would I joke about something like this!?"
Krillin looked down at the radar, and closed his eyes in frustration as he pocketed it.
"I'm on my way."
FYUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuu
After a while, Krillin came across the abandoned cityscape, buildings were in tact strangely. Krillin expected more property damage and way less… carrots.
"What in the world?" Krillin pondered as he landed next to the brigade of empty squad cars. "Where is everybody?"
Out of the corner of his eye, Krillin saw something.
Krillin VS The Rabbit Mob
Objective: Find out what the hell is going on!
Ka-KOMM! Ga-Chick!
A shotgun blast from behind, Krillin turned on a dime, spinning a sharp pirouette into the ground and bringing up his right hand to stall it in a wavy Kiai.
Vuuuuuu~
"This one's strong, boss."
"Is he?" A strange bunny-man walked from behind a building, his shades twinkling under the midday lighting.
Tingtatingtatatatingtingtating~
The spent pellets made contact with the ground as Krillin made eye contact with the three men in front of him. They all were impressively muscular, wearing what seemed to be tailored suits. The bunny-man grabbed a carrot off the ground and chomped on it with indignation. The two men on either side of him cracked their knuckles before dashing in deep. Krillin sent out a quick pulse of Ki Sensing and:
"Nothing. Nothing..?" Krillin thought to himself as they rushed forward, raining down blows on the man as he backpedaled towards the cars.
Krillin dodged and parried them like they were kindergartners. They posed no threat so he just used the extra time to think.
"If none of these guys have ki, are they just really strong? Don't want to hit them too hard, I'd take their damn heads off."
WHAPP! KRSHH!
Krillin stuck the burly black one in the nose with a careful straight, sending him packing and crashing into the windshield of a police van. The bunny-man's whiskers twitched a single time as he chomped down and finished the rest of the carrot.
"Where did all these carrots come from?"
THMM!
With one more calculated yet nonetheless furious blow, he had dispatched the threats in no time. Krillin and the bunny stared down for a long time before the white furry adversary cleaned his hands with several claps and then put them behind his back. He coughed a single time and then gallantly walked forward.
Fsh!
The bunny-man was quick on the draw but nowhere near Krillin regardless, in one move, the man was flattened, out of commission.
THOKK!
"Gu~hawww!" The bunny-man gagged as his sunglasses fell off and he was knocked onto his ass and the concrete.
With a flick of the wrist and a growing of the hand, Krillin got out some cuffs and proceeded to strap them around the bunny's wrists.
Pof!
In a flash, without even realising it, Krillin had been turned into a carrot at the touch of the bunny, his shape morphing quickly into the thin orange vegetable. The bunny-man laughed and snickered and hollered and guffawed, rejoicing in the conquest.
"Ahahahahahaha~" He chortled like a maniac as the last cop touched the ground. "I think I'll take you as a little souvenir mister cop." The bunny joked as he picked up the lone carrot from the many around it. "You actually managed to put up a fight. But in the end… you just couldn't get it done." He mocked, placing the Krillin-Carrot in the front pocket on his silky green vest.
Master Carrot recalls his one and only defeat. Goku sent him packing, all the way up to the moon with his Power Pole. After 20 years of subservience and training Master Carrot was back, and he was going to take his revenge on that little brat. Master Carrot was one of Goku's very first ever enemies. It's been a long time coming for the rabbit.
"Alteration Hakai? How does a damn Earthling have that?"
"It's not even Hakai, Beerus. He can just do that."
"Are you serious?"
"I've been watching the Earthlings for a long time now and they never fail to continue to amaze and inspire."
"I'll give this one to you, but don't expect me to let you hold it over my head."
"Oh. I won't. Hmm-hmm-hmm."
"Hmph!"
"Ah-hem."
Master Carrot's ability has nothing to do with ki. It is magic in the traditional sense and so cannot be parried in any way. The only way to resist would be to possess The Right of the Strong and naturally resist powers from lower-level beings.
The Master dusted himself off, wiping the spent saliva from his second-long fight with the short and strong but still eliminated cop.
"You fools! Hurry your asses up!"
The men responded in kind, almost heaving up their innards from the brutal blows they received.
"That little boy with the staff isn't here. We're going to have to continue our search elsewhere." The Master commanded as he picked up his shades, flicked them open, and placed them over his face determinately.
"Yes Sir!" The two goons behind him saluted.
The Vinnie
"Yo, Cell?"
"What is it?"
"I gotta talk to you, man."
"Sure." Cell responded as he folded his arms behind his frame, leaning deep into the couch.
"Have you ever killed someone?"
"..."
"I know it's a complete-"
"Yes."
The answer left Vinnie totally stunned. It was obviously him in the video but the assuredness and genuineness that Cell carried himself with only strengthened the response.
"Uhh-"
"Why do you ask?"
"The… the freaking cops came banging down my door earlier today bro. I… you're my guy but I gotta let you know, I don't want to go to jail for a guy I barely know."
"What's jail?"
"Oh my god…"
Cell let him think it through, only raising a brow and maintaining uncomfortable eye contact.
"Wow. Let me just think dude."
"Of course. Take your time." Cell chimed in before turning his head back to the movie playing on the giant TV.
"Cell."
"..?"
"You can't stay here. And I can't hold the Dragon Balls for you."
"..! Why not?" Cell answered as he sat up sharply, returning to his stoic eye contact.
"Jail is a place where they lock you up and throw away the key for an allotted time." Vinnie looked at the velvet carpet in horror and disbelief, just throwing his hands up as he went on. "I didn't kill anyone, and I never directly helped you kill anyone, both of which are prosecutable crimes that I don't want to go to jail for."
"Why would you go to jail?"
"Cause I've stashed you and the Dragon Balls here. You killed that guy Giran for a Dragon Ball, didn't you?"
"Yes…" Cell answered coldly as he finally took away his gaze and sent it towards the floor.
"I thought so…"
The room was quiet, the silence only punctuated by the fancy clock on the wall and the cheesy B-movie playing on the big screen.
"You haven't ever treated me poorly Cell, so…"
"So?"
"I'm not gonna snitch."
"Snitch?"
"Tell on you, or… turn you into the police. I'm not gonna do that."
"..."
"Just take the Dragon Balls and, … go."
Cell closed his eyes and sighed, taking the Dragon Balls from the glass bowl with a heavy heart.
"It was fun while it lasted."
Vinnie didn't say anything as his friend headed for the door, only looking up at the ceiling fan as the characteristic open and close played out.
Skwee~Klm.
Cell
"Uhh." Cell hummed blankly as he stared at the dirt, checking the radar to make sure. "Well I know the hideout is here. But how do I get in?"
Dwerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~
"Ahh." Cell smiled as the faux-dirt began to segment and slide apart from each other.
The entrance opened up and Cell walked down the endless corridor until he finally reached the impenetrable steel wall. After a few squeals from the other side, the gigantic circular entryway was opened up.
"Why do you only have, 2, Dragonballs?"
"I…"
Gero and Kochin eyed him strongly as he searched for an appropriate response.
"I needed to make sure to drop these off because I don't have a good way of carrying them. You guys didn't give me the capsule bag."
"Cell." Gero stated determinately.
"Yes, Father."
"With genes from, The Demon King Piccolo, you should be able to use, Telekinesis."
"Really?"
"Yes. There's no need for you to carry things around in your hand. We've carefully cultivated the genes and cells selected to make you the ultimate being."
"What's Telekinesis?"
Cell asked the question but sort of found the answer as he asked. Gero and Kochin had crafted Cell in such a way that keywords or statements were already programmed into his being. He was designed as a learning machine in the hopes that, he would find the Dragon Balls faster than a traditional A.I. would. It was proving to be not the case and insanely annoying for the two doctors. Cell asked questions like a child, because that's essentially what he was.
Cell pantomimed a strange aura in his hand, eyes wide at the result.
"Oh wow." He ruminated as the Dragon Balls floated ever so slightly out of grasp. "Alright! Well… I still need to drop this off."
Kochin palmed the two orange spheres, taking out the capsule pack and sealing them up.
It was a planned endeavor, they didn't put them into the capsules for easy storage. The Dragon Ball's signal couldn't be picked up by a radar if they were put inside a capsule. They are space alteration devices, the Dragon Radar simply couldn't detect it because it didn't exist on that plane anymore. Though, that's not to say a more advanced Dragon Radar couldn't find it, but that'd have to be created first and it most certainly didn't exist yet.
Cell waited around blankly before the two doctors shooed him out.
"You still have 3 more, Dragonballs, to find, Cell."
"Of course." Cell responded as he took a respectful kneel before them, placing his hand over his slick black chest.
The bug-man's wings fluttered crazy fast as he made his way towards the hull. Gero tapped a few buttons on the computer, forcing the large opening to close and lock the wheel into place. He finished the routine with a final button press and the segmented opening opened up to the sunsetting sky above.
"Almost time to sleep." Cell stated as he looked up at the stars poking through.
Qua~Klmm!
"Cell!"
"Father?" He questioned plainly, looking to where the noise came from.
Gero's voice called out from the panel on the right side.
"You are an organic lifeform, so you do need rest. But we have also designed you in a way that you've been preselected to go for over 72 hours at peak performance. Those were also part of The Demon King Piccolo's gene pool."
"I don't need… to sleep?"
"Not for at least two more days."
"Wow. What immacula-"
"Move it!"
"Yes, Doctor…"
Dr. Challenger
The four scientists studied the dank walls full of dust, wiping away years of meticulous wear and tear that the crypt had inhabited.
"Wow~" Nain called out as she put her nail on the many glyphs lining the halls.
"And to think I vas just fooling around creating androids when this marvellous scripture was here right under my nose."
"Androids?" Dr. Challenger challenged with a smile and a squirm of his grey mustache.
"You don't know?"
"Heh~" Challenger laughed just before coughing out a wad of the dungeon dust. "No. I probably should have done a bit more quality assurance before hiring you I suppose."
"I created one of the finest artificial lifeforms this planet has ever seen."
"Oh yeah?"
"Oh yes, Dr. Collie." He answered back determined, pointing a finger at the slightly balding man.
"Enlighten us, Dr. Flappe." Nain coaxed with a smile as she grinded out the grainy cobwebs between her fingers.
"Many years ago I vas contracted by The Red Ribbon Army to create the ultimate killing machine."
"The Red Ribbon Army!?" Dr. Challenger yelped nervously. "Why in the devil would you ever want to help them!? I really should have ran more background tests." Challenger stated as he swallowed harshly and fixed his round glasses.
"Don't you vorry your pretty little head ova' it, Doctor. That's long in the past and I chose this line of vork for a reason. I don't vant to put my life on the line vor those kind of scumbags. Archeology is a field with no adversaries and that's just how I like it."
"What did the android look like?" Nain asked curiously, turning her full body language toward Flappe.
"Vell~" He pondered, striking up a pose as the quartet followed the narrow passageways of the crypt. "He's a big man like this~" Flappe mimed as he waddled, bringing his arms out as wide as a bear. "And tall as a tree." Standing up on his tippy-toes for scale. "I modeled him afta' Frankenstein's Monster. Flat top, short hair, bolts and all."
"Creepy." Nain giggled.
"You know~" Challenger challenged again. "That design was only for the movies. Frankenstein's creation was more vague in it's descriptors, no bolts, no flat top, no bolts."
"Fine! Maybe I didn't read Shelly. But he vas still very intimidating!" Flappe shouted loudly as a rebuttal. "Those jerks practically pooped their pants ven I first unveiled him."
"I don't doubt it." Collie called out calmly. "A living being that's not alive would scare just about anybody."
"But he vas alive!"
"An android? Really?"
"Yes really! He may have been all circuits but the programming was top-notch!"
"So not alive." Collie smirked like a bastard.
"Vatever!" He yelled back, crossing his arms like a child as the rest of the group chuckled lowly.
The four of them scoured the halls until finally, they reached something grandiose. A large hall opened up before them, dusty columns supporting the high ceiling of the crypt. There were several weathered stairs leading up to a well-embellished golden sarcophagus. The steps led up on all cardinal directions, looking like a mini pyramid inside the hall. The group fanned out and scanned the walls of the arena before deciding to tackle the obvious in the middle of the room, each taking their own way up the stairs.
Dr. Challenger breathed in heavily before heaving the lid over a tad with the help of the rest of the group.
Skfffffffffffff~
"Ack-Hack-Ack!"
"Coufff~ Vat the heck? Couff~ It smells like something crawled up its ass, died and Then laid eggs."
"Why'd you have to give me that mental image?" Nain complained as she closed her eyes and swatted away at the coffin dust.
"If I have to power through it, you do too."
"Maybe you should just keep your thoughts to yourself, Flappe."
"There he is~" Dr. Challenger shined brightly through all the dust, his smile as wide as could be. "The Pharaoh, Totenhotep!"
The Pharaoh was covered in dainty but pristine golden wraps, his skin also covered in a thin layer of what looked to be a golden clay mold of some kind. His eyes had been stuffed with purple gemstones
"Vat's that?"
Collie looked around the rest of the echoey halls, seeming to notice something the others didn't.
"Do you guys hear something?"
Whuuuuuuuuuuuu~
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh~"
Dr. Collie was fidgety, wide-eyed, and frightened.
"Guys?"
"You're paranoid, Collie." Nain called out as she examined the wraps of The Mummy. "Always have been."
"What's this?"
"Looks like a crystal ball I'd reckon." Dr. Flappe shot out immediately. Something strange prodded at the back of his mind for a moment though.
Dr. Challenger picked up the ball from The Mummy's hand and eyed it curiously near one of the torches.
"Vait!"
His scream was deafening, drawing everyone's attention.
"I know that! That's a Dragon Ball!"
"A dragon-what?"
"Guys."
"What is it, Collie?" Dr. Challenger asked, somewhat deflated.
"How were the torches already lit in here?"
"..."
Everybody's eyes just about popped out of their sockets in thought. In one moment, the sarcophagus shook like a magnitude 10 earthquake, rocking violently just before The Pharaoh's hand shot up and iron-gripped Dr. Challenger's right wrist.
"What!?"
"Aiiiiiiiie!" Nain screamed as she saw the previously stoic mummy grapple onto the man's arm.
The Pharaoh said nothing, his purple gem eyes twinkling under the low-light conditions. Challenger dropped the ball in his fright and it popped loudly as it bounced down the steps.
Bop-Kop-Fop-Krrrrrrrrrrr~
The Dragon Ball rolled away into the unknown as it exited into a hallway to the right of the sarcophagus. The Mummy still stayed quiet, shooting out his right arm like a claw and gripping tightly around Challenger's throat .
"I came to The Royal Academy to get avay from this stuff! Come on!" Dr. Flappe whined as he threw his hands into the air.
Dr. Collie looked on in horror as other mummies filed in from all directions.
"What are we gonna do!?" Collie shouted as he fell onto his ass under the stress.
"Get off him!" Nain shouted as she slapped and tried to pry The Pharaoh's grip from her colleague.
The Mummy just glared at her and an ethereal presence washed over the woman's entire being. Nain booked it, dashing down the tile and trying desperately to escape. Flappe looked around, taking a torch off the wall.
"You vant some of this!?" He taunted, swinging the fiery stick at The Mummy. Totenhotep was wholly unfazed, his bandages refusing to be lit ablaze. "Vat is this!?"
Collie turned tail to run too, but was caught and dragged into the unknown, screaming bloody murder as they tore him asunder. Flappe's blood ran cold as Challenger attempted to whimper out anything at all. He was unsuccessful, only spit came dribbling out under the chokehold.
Flappe had enough as well, forgoing helping the man and dashing out into the darkness with his new weapon.
"Get back!"
Fwuofff~
It seemed to actually work against the others, dissuading their grasp and lighting their dusty cloaks made of wrappings. All that was left in the main room was Doctor Challenger.