Usual disclaimers apply.

***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***

Chapter 30

"No, there is no way that I'm going to do that to you," I protested as Mama simply stared at me. "You're pregnant for the gods' sake! Mom will have my hide."

"She's already going to have your hide, Sam," Mama responded.

In desperation I turned to Auntie. "Please tell her that there is no way I can try that on a pregnant woman."

"Oh no, my little warrior bard, you are on your own." Aphrodite shook her blonde curls. "I am not going to argue with the pregnant warrior."

"She would never really kill you, you know," I cajoled. "Please help me reason with her."

"No can do," Auntie was adamant. "The only one who can reason with your warrior mommy is your blonde mommy and since she's not here, you are on your own."

Sighing heavily, I crossed my arms over my chest ignoring Daria's chuckling. "I am not going to try and put the pinch on you, Mama."

"You will," Mama moved towards me and looked into my face. "The only way to truly learn it is to practice on someone and you will be practicing. I don't want you accidentally hurting someone."

Rolling my eyes, I jumped at the slight swat. "Come on, if I'm doing the pinch I'm basically threatening to kill them, and you're worried about me hurting them?"

Mama swatted me again. "Enough attitude, Sam. If you are using the pinch it's only to gather information, not for killing. Not unless it's a last resort. You don't want to hurt someone when you don't have to, understand?"

I sighed again and nodded. "Yes Mama, I understand."

"Good." Mama took a deep breath. "You need to practice this, Sam."

"Not on you, Mama. Anyone but you."

Seeing Mama suddenly smile I wondered what she was thinking. "Aphrodite, do you mind if I invite someone into your temple?"

Wondering what Mama had in mind, I became even more curious when Auntie began to clap. "Oh, that is a wonderful idea, my warrior babe. He so deserves it after what he put my little warrior bard through on her way here. I say invite away."

"Mama exactly what do you have in mind?" I asked as Daria shrugged her shoulders at me when I looked at her.

"Just be ready, Sam. You'll know what to do." Mama then smirked and took a deep breath. "Ares! Ares! Show your worthless hide if you aren't afraid to face me."

"Afraid…?" The rest of Ares reply was cut off as I put the pinch on him before he even saw me. Dropping to his knees the God of War grabbed at his neck and looked up at me.

"Release it, Sam," Mama directed.

As I released the pinch Ares took the cloth Mama offered to clean up the blood trickling from his nose. "What is it with you people and making me bleed? Do I have a sign on my back or something?" he demanded.

"Mama said I needed to practice on somebody and I refused to practice on her." I looked at Ares hard and shrugged. "Apparently Mama thought you'd be a great practice dummy."

"Practice dummy?" Ares whirled on Mama with a growl. "Is that all I am to you after all of our time together? A practice dummy?"

Mama shrugged, "Pretty much."

"And you!" Ares turned to Auntie who was still chuckling. "You let her invite me here knowing what she had in mind."

"I did," Auntie put her hands on her hip glaring at her brother. "You bothered my little warrior bard on her way to me and that was not cool, bro. You need to learn to leave well enough alone. She is my chosen and you know the rules say you can't have her."

"Can't stop a god from trying," Ares smirked at Auntie before snapping his fingers and disappearing in a silver streak.

"Oh that was great!" Daria finally spoke from her spot on the couch. "Xena, you are a genius! And Sam the look on Ares face when you greeted him like that…" she trailed off chuckling. "I love hanging out with you two so much!"

"Glad we could oblige," Mama snickered as Auntie turned to Daria, a frown on her face.

"What am I, leftover ambrosia?"

Daria shook her head and stood moving to hug Auntie. "You are the goddess who made all of that possible. After all you let Xena invite Ares into your temple. And I must say, it was perfect."

***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***

"You know," Daria quipped as we finished our pancake breakfast, "I almost felt sorry for Ares when you blindsided him like that."

"Seriously?" I deadpanned.

"I said almost," Daria grinned as she poured more syrup over her second helping of pancakes. "Auntie, these are the best pancakes ever," Daria complimented.

"Thank you," Auntie patted Daria's hand. "I find that adding just a bit of vanilla before I poof them helps a lot."

Daria nodded happily, her mouth full. "Well whatever you're doing it's perfect. Aren't they perfect, Sam?"

I nodded. "Yup. Auntie makes the best pancakes and pizza," I added as Mama chuckled.

"You and your pizza." Mama tugged my long braid. "I'll never forget the trouble pizza caused us when you first came back."

"Well if you hadn't been such a pain about it then we could have avoided all the trouble." I stuck my tongue out at her and shoved another bite of pancake in my mouth.

"I need to hear this story," Daria turned to Auntie. "So tell me, Auntie Aphrodite. How could your wonderful pizza cause any trouble?"

I leaned back in my chair and shook my head as Auntie put her fork down and took a deep breath. "Well, it's like this, my little Amazon…"

Daria was laughing hysterically as Auntie finished her story about my moms' reaction to pizza before they remembered it. "You trashed Auntie's temple over pizza?" Daria turned to me and I shrugged feeling my face get hot.

"What can I say? I wanted a comfort from home and pizza was it. Just my luck that I have mothers as stubborn as I am."

"Oh I don't know," Mama smiled at me. "I think Gabrielle is just a little more stubborn than you, Sam."

"Maybe," I finally acknowledged. "Then again she has had to put up with you for the longest time." I teased moving out of reach before Mama could grab me.

Mama finished her breakfast and slowly stood from the table. "I will get you later, young lady," she teased moving to me and kissing the top of my head. "You just watch yourself."

"Bring it on, oh pregnant warrior." I moved my mouth to her every growing belly. "You'd better be ready, little sister, you are coming into one hell of a family." The baby kicked in response and I smiled up at Mama. "She'll be just fine."

"I know." Mama looked at Aphrodite briefly and then turned back to Daria and me. "It's time for us to get ready to go. I don't relish the trip back. Thank you for letting us stay here, Aphrodite."

"No problem, my warrior babe. You know that I'd do anything for you and your wonderful family. Now, is everyone ready to return to the village?"

"Aphrodite what are you doing?" Mama asked.

"Helping you." Auntie waved her hands and the next thing I knew we were standing in the middle of the village with the horses looking as confused as we were.

"Thanks." I hugged Aphrodite and buried my face in her neck briefly. "For everything. I couldn't have a better goddess mother," I whispered into her ear before releasing her and shaking my head as she disappeared in a flurry of pink butterflies and the scent of roses.

"Xena!" Mom's voice echoed across the village and we slowly turned in that direction.

"You think she's mad?" I whispered.

"Not sure," Mama responded. "That tone could go either way."

"True," I smiled as Mom got closer. "Hi Mom…"

"Don't you 'hi Mom' me, young lady," Mom glared. "Disappearing like that after what happened. Sending home two men that had to be put on trial. We are going to be having a very long talk, Samina Ephiny. Now, you and Daria get these horses taken care of and then I expect you to head home."

"And me my queen?" Daria asked softly.

"After you help Sam get the horses settled, I want you to go home and see your mother," Mom directed. "You may be eighteen now, but she was worried."

"Yes ma'am," Daria bowed slightly before helping me lead the horses away.

Turning back, we stopped for a few moments and then continued walking. "Do you think Xena will be okay?"

I shrugged, "I think so. I mean Mama is pregnant and Mom wouldn't ever do real damage to a pregnant woman. Besides, I have a feeling the real punishment for her will be something else."

"Like what?" Daria asked.

"Let's just say I'll probably be able to walk into their bedroom without knocking for a night or two," I quipped as Daria groaned.

"Thanks for the visual, Sam."

"Welcome to my world, Daria," I grinned at her as we moved into the barn at long last.

***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***

"Now Gabrielle," Xena put her hands up and stepped back slowly as those familiar emerald eyes flashed at her. "You don't want to do anything you'll regret."

"I'll regret?" Gabrielle moved forward and hugged her wife. "After I welcome you home, Xena, I am going to kill you. I was worried about the two of you. I wasn't expecting you to be gone so long."

"I know," Xena sighed. "Can we move this to our hut? I'm tired and really don't feel the need to give the entire nation a show."

"I guess," Gabrielle grabbed Xena's hand and they walked quietly to their hut. "So where did you find her?" Gabrielle asked as they moved inside their home, closing the door quickly behind them.

"At one of Aphrodite's temples."

"I should have known," Gabrielle led Xena to the couch and had the warrior sit first. Bending down she quietly removed her wife's boots before sitting down next to Xena. "So what happened after you found her?"

"We talked a lot," Xena sighed and closed her eyes as Gabrielle leaned into her. "Sam was scared about what she'd done, and for the first time, I truly believe she understood exactly how it was I turned to Ares."

"Speaking of Ares," Gabrielle didn't finish her question and closed her eyes slightly when Xena nodded.

"Yeah he made it a point to visit her," Xena confirmed. "Then again, I think her putting the pinch on him under my supervision let him know where she stood on joining him."

"You let her put the pinch on Ares?" Gabrielle demanded.

"Well she wouldn't do it on me," Xena began realizing by the sounds now emanating from her bard that those words were probably the wrong ones to use at the moment. Damn it she was tired, but she hadn't realized how tired she was until those words passed her lips. "Now Gabrielle…"

"Not a word, Xena. Bedroom. Now." Gabrielle stood and pointed to their room.

"Why do you want to go to the bedroom?"

"Because we need to have a private chat and Sam could be home any moment. Let's go, warrior."

"Damn." Xena muttered allowing Gabrielle to help her from the couch and slowly make her way to the bedroom.

Closing the bedroom door Gabrielle pointed to the bed and Xena took a reluctant seat. "Just let me explain…"

"Not a word, Xena. I know what you're going to tell me. The same thing you told me when you taught me the pinch. You have to practice on someone. Better to do it on someone that knows how to release it. Sound familiar?" Gabrielle glared at her wife. "You were trying to get our fifteen year old daughter to put the pinch on you?"

"Yes," Xena looked at her hands. "But she refused. That's when I got the idea of having Ares come to the temple."

"So you decided that instead of you receiving the pinch that Ares would work?" Gabrielle asked.

"Yes," Xena replied, wondering where Gabrielle was going with stating the obvious.

"What were you thinking, Xena? Just because the two of you can kill gods doesn't mean you should taunt them about it. Especially the God of War! He already wants Sam to join him. You don't think him knowing that she possess even more of your killer skills isn't another reason for him to try and court her?"

"I guess I hadn't thought of it like that," Xena admitted quietly.

"That's right, Xena! You didn't think! She had to do the pinch immediately? You couldn't get her home first and talk it over with me before giving her another lethal combat skill?"

"I'm sorry," Xena gave a defeated sigh. "You weren't there, Gabrielle and she was so upset. I mean she ran to Aphrodite instead of us! I had to make sure she knew what she was doing, that she understood the implication of it before ever trying it again. I won't let her walk my path and I'll be damned if I see an opportunity and not take it."

Gabrielle sat on the bed next to the warrior and put her head on the taller woman's shoulder. "We've always talked things over when it comes to Sam, Xena. Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I had to do it while the feelings were still fresh in her. It was the best way for her to see exactly what putting the pinch on someone means."

"The chakram incident all over again?" Gabrielle whispered.

"Something like that," Xena admitted. "But this time a trip to the barn wasn't going to cut it."

The women were silent for a long while and Gabrielle finally spoke again. "I look at Sam some days, Xena, and I wonder what happened to our little girl. She is so much like the two of us, she always has been, it's just that now being like us could get her killed. I never wanted this life for her. I wanted her to have a normal childhood. Go to college, get a job she loved, get married and have a family. I didn't want her to be the savior of the Amazon Nation. I didn't want any of this," Gabrielle waved her arms around the room. "For her. I wouldn't trade our lives here, our girls for anything, Xena…"

"But it would be nice to have Sam's biggest worry being whether or not she was going to get asked to the school dance," Xena finished. "I know, Gabrielle. I feel the same way but this is our life now and as much as we hate it, this is Sam's life now."

"Promise me you won't make any decisions like that in regards to any of our girls again," Gabrielle's voice was soft but commanding.

"I'll do my best," Xena finally replied. "I won't promise, Gabrielle, but I will promise you that I will never do that again if there is any way I can avoid it."

"And you better damned well do your best to make sure you can consult me," Gabrielle added.

"I will," Xena gently kissed Gabrielle. "Shall we go deal with Sam?"

"I guess so," Gabrielle stood and waited for Xena to join her. "And just so you know, Xena, that bed is only going to be used for sleeping for a few days."

"Gabrielle!" Xena whined as her wife walked in front of her swaying her hips as she left their room.

***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***BARD***XENA***

Thanks to everyone who has left a PM or review. Thanks as well to all those following the story. Hope this chapter was worth the wait.

Just a reminder: If you haven't already done so- please check out my new book, "Broadway Baby" under the name of Alexandra James. You can find it wherever ebooks are sold.