"Kissing knuckles"

Chapter 9

It had been hours on end that Robert had been unable to enjoy his time at hand. And time dragged on, surprising him with barely enlightening turns of events one by one. First, there had been lunch at work yesterday with the unexpected and unwanted confrontation with 'archive room man' how Robert had begun to silently call him. No devastating encounter but definitely occupying Robert's thoughts since then. The hours after lunch Robert had actually been happy that Cora didn't seek him or made any attempt to contact him because he was unsure of how to treat the topic of lunch with her.

But later, on his way home, when he had heard a young family on the metro talk about their visit to the Botanic Gardens, he had been reminded of the time he and Cora went there.

To relish her soothing company was suddenly more important than every struggle he had imagined when facing her again. He checked his phone for a message from her but nothing. Instead, the conversation between the family on the seats next to him drifted across the aisle and Robert listened. The high voice of the young boy trilled with excitement and even though Robert's gaze was directed out the window he could basically hear how the boy bounced up and down on the barely upholstered seat.

"But next time I want to go there with Jacob! I can show him everything at the Children's Garden and we can even go up on the walkway around the great tree together," the boy babbled.

"You want to go to the Gardens again?" his mother seemed slightly surprised.

"Sure. The playground there is nice."

"But we don't go there only for the playground or the Children's Garden, Charlie. We want to have a walk through all the other Gardens as well. Don't you remember how boring that was for you?"

A male voice, probably the father, interjected, "Yes, I do think Charlie might be too small for it."

"Why?" Charlie's voice rose another octave.

"Because you were complaining all the time. Don't you remember?"

"I only remember Lily crying the whole time," Charlie now nagged.

"She cried because you wouldn't stop whining. If you are patient like a big boy next time we maybe can go again and take Jacob," the mother said.

"Oh, but we are also going to the Children's Garden then?" suddenly the volume of Charlie's voice went up because he could hardly hold his excitement and Robert turned his head when he heard the clapping sound of the boy's small hands patting his thighs animatedly. Charlie was wrapped in a big, puffy coat and his mother reached out to readjust his cap from which wild, ginger curls peaked out. The young woman nodded at her son while rocking the dozing baby girl in her arm.

Now the father cut in. "Maybe we wait for next summer until we go to the Gardens again." He had his arms wrapped around himself and looked like Robert felt when he looked at the weather outside. The following wailing of young Charlie took Robert by surprise and the forced outcries of revolt made his toes curl. Baby Lily started crying as well and Robert was relieved when he could escape the train at the next station.

The upcoming boredom at home annoyed him no less. He constantly chanced a look at his phone without giving it much thought, and his waiting state kept him from doing anything else really. It wasn't that there had to be a text from Cora but there often was when they didn't leave work together. The moment he realised she may be not contacting him today he was at a loss of what to do with the rest of his day.

Grumpiness slowly took hold of him and he did minor tasks like doing some laundry as a weak attempt at distracting himself. It was 6 pm when his mother called. Usually, she called at the weekend once a month to catch up on the central news both in London and at Downton. But it was a working day, so Robert was slightly surprised to see her incoming call.

"Mama?"

"This is not how you answer the phone, Robert," his mother snapped from the other end of the line.

"Yes, a good day to you too," he replied. "How are you?" Robert knew better than to bluntly ask why she was calling on a Wednesday evening. He was used to Mama calling him out on his manners often enough as it was.

"No life appears rewarding if you think about it too much. So I guess in regard to your question I am fine," she gave back. "Robert, you have been to Rosamund's new exhibition, right? Is it really the epiphany she praises it to be?"

"Uhm… well. You know I do not have the same penchant for art as she has," Robert began cautiously. "But I have to admit the latest works she is showing seem especially appalling to me," he confided.

"Hmph, I see. No, I didn't really expect it to be an illumination, but Rosamund phrased it as the reason she couldn't keep our weekly call. Well, at least you aren't disappointing me with not having any time for your mother. But I am a little surprised you picked up. Rosamund told me you're very occupied lately."

"Oh, did she? And I thought she cancelled your talk," Robert tried evading further speaking about him.

"Yes, after not even two minutes of speaking." Robert wasn't quite sure if he heard his mother snorting at the other end of the phone. "So, you don't think it would be worth it to visit your sister's gallery? She told me I should come and look at what is fulfilling her at the moment. But I don't really feel like running after her when all she can offer is some amateurish brushstrokes."

The call went on longer than Robert thought possible. He didn't expect his mother and himself to talk about Rosamund's art for this long since they both couldn't really relate to it that much. But his mother seemed affected by loneliness in a rather similar way as he. Apparently, his father didn't make for fulfilling company, so Mama said because he spent his afternoons dozing in his armchair since he was left rather ailing and inactive after his pneumonia last spring.

In the end, Robert recommended her to visit Rosamund's gallery, more for her to get out of her ever-same daily obligations than for the beauty of the artworks at the exhibition. He hadn't really considered what it would mean if Mama was coming to London. Ever since he was so close with Cora and their days were intricately intertwined, he had evaded visits from his mother. She and Cora had met once very briefly and his close friendship with Cora was common knowledge in his family. But somehow it made Robert tense to imagine a full-featured interaction between Mama and Cora. But now he had practically invited his mother himself and even if he provided material for chaos this way, it felt right to tell his mother to come to London for one or two days. She answered his suggestion briskly but Robert could notice the hint of elation in her response with the expertise that came with years in her company.

Nevertheless, the conversation left him quite worn out. He didn't know how his mother did it but she managed to leave him with half as much energy as she had found him with every time she was desperate to blow off some steam.

So, Robert went to bed early, tired from not doing much all day and still in an antsy state. And he kept waiting. He couldn't quite turn off the light and his phone to sleep and await the next day. Instead, he laid on his side facing the empty side of the bed and scrolled through his phone not really knowing what he was actually doing. What he knew was that, no matter how many minutes passed there was no message from Cora.

When he felt his eyelids drooping, he sighed and made to put his phone aside. But it felt strange not having communicated with Cora all day. So, he quickly typed a goodnight message for her and send it before he could think about it twice. Now, falling asleep was at least a bit easier.

It was the next day when the hours went by and all he had heard from Cora till noon was the smiley face she had answered to his goodnight message the coming morning, that he couldn't stand the anticipation any longer. He was packing his things and left work in a fair mood. On his way out he looked in on Cora's office but it seemed she had gone home already. Robert started wondering if he might have done something wrong, something that had upset her and now she was avoiding him. He didn't like to think that. Everything had been great the last time he had seen her. She had lain beside him in peaceful slumber and had adorably scrunched her nose when he had traced the contours of her face tentatively with his fingertip. No, Robert had no clue for the life of it what might have been irritating her.

Then he saw her crossing the street in front of the institute. Quick steps carried her across the asphalt and Robert saw her hand constantly wiping the strands of hair out of her face that the wind tousled mercilessly. Robert took the chance and started to run after her. But when he reached the crossroads the traffic lights changed colours and a busy stream of traffic separated him and Cora. Impatiently he waited for the green signal and he was glad he knew her way home. Even if she would make great progress with the brisk pace she displayed, he would catch her at home at the least. When he finally started his run after her, he had to hold onto his coat and squint his eyes at the drizzly wind that confronted him.

Robert started calling after her as he nearly had caught up with her and she was descending the steps to the metro station.

"Cora!" The way she swirled around at the sound of his voice made his breath hitch. She looked at him with eyes wide of surprise and the cold air had tainted her cheeks and nose in a rosy hue. Her blue eyes sparkled at him intently. The sense of lightness in his chest increased when he saw the corner of her lips twitch lightly at his sight. He crossed the distance that still kept them apart and when he stood in front of her, she lowered her gaze nearly in a shy manner.

"Cora," he said again, still quite out of breath.

She looked up at him again. "Did you really run after me?"

"Well… yes –" he was disrupted by the light chuckle she emitted.

But he continued nevertheless, "Is everything alright? I didn't hear from you the last few days and I wondered if… well maybe I… Did I do something wrong?" The last question came out like a pleading and Robert felt rather foolish how he was standing there at the entrance of the station, clutching at his coat and babbling away while she smiled at him in all her glory.

"What? No!" Cora immediately cut in. "I just thought we don't have to pester each other."

"Why would we do that?"

"I don't know. We did spend an eminent amount of time together lately. I didn't know if that was alright with you. I thought you might also need some time for yourself," she brought out and her eyes were glued to her fingers that twiddled with her scarf. Robert was relieved to hear that nothing was really wrong between them and so he grabbed her hands to gain her eye contact.

"Well, I definitely had my fill of time for myself by now. Are you free tonight?"

"I think so." Her voice was soft.

"Then might I accompany you home?" he suggested.

Cora tipped her head to the side as if to contemplate his idea. When she started running her eyes up and down his body, he became fidgety and it took much too long until she finally said, "Alright," in the nonchalant tone she often used to tease him.

They hurried to get home and escape the bullying drizzle and the stifling crowd on the train. They both let out a sigh as they entered Cora's apartment complex.

As the front door of her flat fell shut behind them, Robert grabbed Cora by the waist and turned her around to press her against the closed door. A squeal of surprise escaped her lips. He felt her heaving chest beneath the thick material of their coats as he pressed into her and sealed her lips with his. She responded to his kiss and god, did it feel good to have her in his arms again, to feel the soft tip of her tongue greeting his lips. In a rather frenzied manner, Robert tried to push off her coat without breaking the kiss and when his hands sneaked beneath her jumper, she pressed her palms to his chest and pushed him away.

"Maybe," she breathed heavily, "maybe we should take that to the bedroom."

"Of course." Robert helped her out of her scarf and took off his own coat before they kicked their shoes into a corner and made their way to the bedroom.

Engaged in another kiss, they sank onto the sheets slowly and Robert's fingers began tugging at her clothes again to undress her. Cora shivered when his cold fingertips brushed her bare skin and Robert paused because he felt the iciness of her own fingers on his jaw. When Cora pulled back a little, just enough to look into his eyes, he felt her seeking his hands. She wrapped them in hers and made an effort to rub them warm.

"I doubt this will work very well. Your hands are more frozen than mine," he spoke softly. Cora took his advice and pulled their joined hands to her lips instead. She started kissing each of his fingers one by one. The feeling of her hot lips elicited a heavy sigh from him and he was transfixed by the vision in front of him of her bent over their joined hands, showering them with her affection. Gently he retracted one of his hands from her grasp and lifted her chin with his index. She looked up at him and Robert was awed that in the diversity of colours he had seen her eyes adopt he just discovered a new one. The warm cerulean blue did suit her outspokenly well. Her lips were slightly parted when she drew a breath and Robert kissed her again. They enjoyed the nearness, their lips moving reassuringly against each other and by the time the fervour in their actions had grown considerably their hands had warmed up as well.

And that was good because now Robert was at a point where he was already as affected by their actions that a certain impatience took hold of him. He swiftly managed to divest Cora of her jumper and trousers and she started fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. Robert interrupted her as he pushed her back onto the mattress and latched his lips to her chest. His arms worked a way around her slender body and struggled the clip of her bra open as his mouth started devouring the upper rounds of her breasts. He freed her of the offending garment and now his hands were finally free to roam her body. He felt like he had waited for this all day. Well, and yesterday as well. He ran his hands down her side and felt her shiver under his touch. Cora, hindered from unbuttoning his shirt, wrapped her arms around his upper body and with his increasing attention to various parts of her body she clutched the smooth fabric of his shirt just at his shoulder blades and crushed it in her tight grasp.

The pressure of her supple skin underneath his fingertips was a comfort Robert had never imagined finding in it. From the sighs and moans she emitted Robert guessed she enjoyed it but, golly, he did too. He felt poised to drown in the warm scent and feel of her milky skin. It seemed surreal every time he was actually touching that heavenly being. And he swore to make the most of it, to savour the chance he still didn't comprehend he got at all.