"Here we are," Martin said as he pulled their car up to the curb. Brandt looked out the window and scoffed.
"Who the hell chose Brooklyn? Couldn't we have met in Manhattan?" the Senator asked, eyeing the kids running past the car.
Martin let out a forced laugh before jumping out of the car and opening the door for him as Em took a steeling breath and stepped out as well. She'd felt shaking all day, and the Senator had asked if she was feeling sick upon seeing her pale face. Though she'd said that she wasn't feeling well, her attempt to beg off of going to see the demonstration was thwarted when Brandt told her to sleep for a while because he needed her in top shape to take notes.
"All this might have drawn a bit more attention in Manhattan," Fred Clemson, the State Department representative, shrugged. Emily felt her stomach clench at his voice - she knew exactly who he was and what he planned but there was nothing she could do. "Ma'am?" he said, offering her his arm.
"I'm fine, thanks," she said, taking a moment to smooth down her high waisted grey skirt and rebuttoning the matching jacket. He eyes gave her a measuring look before straightening his tie.
Martin led them into the poorly lit antiques store that served as a front for the SSR's office, holding the door open for the two men and Emily. An older woman looked up from her newspaper and stared at their group.
"Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?" she asked while straightening up, a hand hidden below the counter.
"That it is, Ma'am," Brandt replied while taking off his hat and using it to motion to the store's back room. "Now if you'd just take us back..."
"Only inventory back there," the woman stated.
Brandt gave her an odd look before turning to face Martin. "This is the right place you brought us to, right Martin?"
"There's - " Em paused to clear her throat, "there's a passcode, isn't there?"
"Oh, right!" Martin said, reaching into his inner coat pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper. After smoothing it out, he squinted at the writing, "You say 'Wonderful weather this morning, isn't it?' and I'm supposed to reply with 'Yes, but I always carry an umbrella'."
With a curt nod, the woman did something under the counter which made the bookshelves to their left swing open with a mechanical clicking, revealing the hidden hallway.
A woman in uniform jumped up from her desk and stepped forward to meet time. "Senator Brandt, welcome to the Strategic Scientific Reserve's laboratory." He nodded to her and she motioned for the group to follow her down the hallway. Military police flanked the hallway, and Em had to fight the urge to grab one of them and warn them of what was about to come.
The doors at the end of the hall were opened by the MP, and the secretary motioned towards a viewing room off to the left of the room. Emily, at the tail end of the group, looked down at the room below.
A cadre of scientists bustled around checking gauges and readings and generally ignoring the group gathering in the room above. Her grip tightened on the railing as she saw the pod that would transform Steve from a skinny asthmatic to Captain America. Standing there, the magnitude of what Steve had volunteer for hit her. For what seemed like the millionth time, Em realized that reading a report over seventy years after the fact was nothing like standing and experiencing the event.
"Is everything ready?" a voice below called and Emily tensed. Her grandfather strode into sight, his white coat flying behind him and he nearly vibrated with nerves. She watched as he consulted with the other scientists, checking and double checking their work.
"Emily!"
"Huh?" she said, drawn from her reverie. Martin was hanging out of the door, gesturing her to join the group. "Right, sorry." When she glanced at the floor again, Erskine was looking up at her, a paper hanging limply from his hand. A slow smile spread across his lips and he moved as though to join her on the stairs but Em shook her head and glanced towards the seating area. With a steeling breath she turned to join the others.
"Madame!" her grandfather called, starting up the stairs towards her. Emily turned and raised her eyebrow as he motioned for her to join him on the lower landing. With a glance back at Martin, who was once again seated, she descended the steps. When she was within a few steps, he whispered, "What are you doing here, Meine enkelin?"
"Brandt," she forced out. Erskine looked over her shoulder to where the Senator was milling with the other spectators and reached into his pocket.
"Your nose, mein schatz," he said, pressing a handkerchief into her hand. Emily pressed two fingers under her nose and was unsurprised to find them bloodied when she pulled them away.
"Danke," she said, giving him a weak smile and pressing his monogramed handkerchief to her face.
"This is exciting, no?" her grandfather asked, bouncing on his toes.
"No," Emily answered before biting her tongue. "I mean yes, very exciting."
He cocked his head and studied her appearance. "You're pale, my dear. Is everything alright?"
"I just...I don't," Em stumbled over her words before looking down and closing her eyes against the building tears in her eyes.
"Dr. Erskine!" one of the scientists yelled.
"A moment!" he answered, eyes shooting from the young man to his granddaughter. Em forced herself to take a deep breath, wiped her nose, and pasted on a smile before opening her eyes.
"You'll be wonderful today, Opa," she assured him. "Everything will work as you planned."
"But you're still upset," he said quietly.
"I-I'm nervous...for you and Steve," she lied. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head.
"Something happens...something you don't want to tell me, no?" Emily looked down at the ground, unable to look him in the eyes.
"I can't...please don't ask me to say more, Opa, I can't."
And he suddenly understood. "This is when...today is why I don't see you grow, isn't it?"
"Please," Em begged, two tears escaping before she could stop them. She saw him blanch and swallow hard before nodding to her. Raising his arm, he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead before trailing it down her cheek, subtly wiping away her tear.
"T-tell them that I wanted to make sure you didn't have a fever...to make sure you didn't jeopardize the experiment. And when...when it happens...look away, mein schatz."
"But I can stop it," she hissed.
"No!" he said sharply, his hand dropping to his side and clenching into a fist. "You cannot put your future at risk. I'm sorry I couldn't find a way to send you home, my dearest."
"Don't," she said, shaking her head.
"Tell Ingrid that I love her and I'm sorry...and Caroline that I'm sorry I never knew her…"
"I will," Em promised.
With a gulp, he looked over at his assembled group and let out a shaky breath. "I-I have work to do, Meine enkelin." He grabbed her hand that was clenching the handkerchief and brought it back up to her nose and gave a weak smile. "I'm glad that you'll be with Ingrid, even if she doesn't know who you are to us."
"Opa…"
"They're getting suspicious," he said, glancing towards the observation room. "You must go, Emily. I'll be okay. Thank you for this...for telling me who you are...for letting me know you."
"I'm sorry."
"I know, dearest. I love you for it."
"I love you too." It took all of her strength to stop from flinging herself into his arms.
"Go."
He gently pushed her up the stairs before returning to his work. Emily hurried up them, forcing herself not to look down. She was vaguely aware of the doors opening again as she darted up the stairs and threw herself into an open chair in the back of the room.
"What'd he want?" Martin asked, frowning at her.
"Wanted...wanted to make sure I d-didn't have a fever," she said softly, pressing the handkerchief to her nose.
"You do look sick…" he said, shifting away from her in his chair. "This'll be over soon enough and then I'll tell Brandt I'm taking you back to the hotel." Emily nodded and leaned forward, pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to stop the bleeding.
"Senator Brandt, glad you could make it," Colonel Phillips said, striding into the room.
"Why exactly am I in Brooklyn?" her boss asked.
"We needed access to the city's power grid," Phillips answered. "Of course if you'd have given me the generators I'd - "
"A lot of people are asking for funds, Colonel," Brandt cut him off. Phillips looked over at Em and smirked slightly, somewhat amused by the Senator's blatant lie; they both knew where those requisition forms had gone. "Oh, this is Clem...uh…"
"Fred Clemson, State Department," the spy said, reaching to shake Phillip's hand. "If this project of yours comes through, we'd like to see it used for something more than headlines."
"I'm going to be sick," Em muttered under her breath. Martin reached over and rubbed her back.
"Jeez, somebody get that kid a sandwich," Brandt said, and Emily's head snapped up; She hadn't realized that Steve was there yet. She stood up and went onto her toes to look over the heads of the gathered men before Martin took her elbow.
"Over here," he whispered, pulling her off to the side where they could glimpse down below. He let out a low whistle, "Jesus, Brandt wasn't kidding. What'd'ya think made him volunteer for this?"
"He's either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid," Em replied.
"Probably both," Martin chuckled nervously. They stood there another moment, watching as Steve settled down into the capsule and Erskine approached him. Em saw her grandfather's eyes flicker up, looking for her amongst the crowd, and she subtly waved back with a weak attempt at a reassuring smile. "There's Stark!"
"They'll be starting soon," Em said, unable to tear her eyes away from the three men she thought she'd never meet.
"Yeah," Martin agreed, sounding a bit awed. "We should probably get set up."
"Right," Em nodded. They stood there for another long moment before Martin tugged her elbow and led her back to their seats. He pulled out a small notepad from his jacket and eyed Em until she retrieved hers from her purse.
There was the sudden loud thumping and the screech of a microphone before Erskine's magnified voice filled their booth. "Can you hear me? Is this on?"
"Ladies and gentlemen," her grandfather continued. "Today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace." Emily's pencil rested against the pad of paper but she didn't write anything, while Martin scribbled furiously in an attempt to keep up with his speech. Instead, she sat higher in her chair and peered over the shoulder of the man in front of her, wanting to watch. Emily looked over to see Agent Carter entering, and the woman pressed her lips into a tight line before taking her seat, both of their attention on the proceedings below.
"We begin with a series of micro-injections into the subject's major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change. And zen to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with vita rays." Another thump indicated that Erskine had put the microphone down. A few people started to talk under their breath to one another but they were quickly hushed by the others.
"Serum infusion, beginning in five...four…three...two…" there was almost an audible intake of breath "...one." Emily felt her heart start racing and gripped Martin's arm. Even though she knew what happened, knew the outcome, it was so hard to see the man she loved panicked and grimacing pain. And then the capsule started to move and enclosed him.
When Steve started to scream, Emily clapped a hand to her mouth and rose to her feet as Peggy darted from the room.
"Steven!" Erskine yelled, running towards him. "Steven!"
"Shut it down!" Peggy ordered.
"Steven!"
"Oh my god, they're gonna kill him," Martin said.
"Shut it down!"
"Kill the reactor Mr. Stark! Turn it off! Kill it! Kill the reactors!"
"NO!" Steve's voice rang out. "Don't! I can do this!"
"They're gonna kill him," Martin said again as Howard started to call out increases in the vita ray output again.
"That's 100 percent," Howard announced. The machines started to overload and spark, and the capsule powered down.
"Mr. Stark!" Erskine called, and it opened.
Though Emily spent quite a bit of time admiring Steve's physique, there was nothing that could have prepared her for seeing the transformation from the sickly man he'd been into the reluctant war hero that she knew and loved.
There was a sudden flurry of motion as people jumped to their feet and rushed to the stairs, and Martin pulled her along as well.
Time seemed to slow down as they made it to the floor, and the celebratory noise pressed against her ears. While Martin pressed forward, Emily hung back, skirting around the crowd and attempting to get out of the way but also to stop herself from intervening.
She knew the moment Erskine noticed him. The startled look on his face turned to resignation as he quickly spun and looked around the room.
There was a sudden flash of light and then broken glass rained down. Emily raised her arm to cover her head as she was thrown to the floor by the force of the detonation. "Somebody stop him!" she heard Erskine say.
And then gunfire… a scream and another shot…
Emily forced herself to her feet, scrambling over the people still huddle on the ground. Disregarding the glass, she fell to her hands and knees beside her grandfather, only then looking up to see Steve on his other side. His eyes darted from hers to Steve before he raised his hand and tapped twice against Steve's heart.
"Everything will be okay," she sobbed when he turned his attention to her. "I promise, Opa." Shaking, she applied pressure to the bullet wounds but he pushed one hand away and took hold of the other. He squeezed it weakly before bringing it to him mouth and pressing a soft kiss to it.
"Meine…" he whispered hoarsely. Erskine coughed, blood flecking on his lips; he shook off her hand and reached up to cup her cheek.
His hand fell to her lap and his eyes closed as he let out his last rattling breath.
Steve looked up and met Emily's eyes, the anger clear on his face. Without a word, he lept to his feet and sprinted from the room.
Emily's ears started to ring, and she wasn't sure if it was because of the explosion or shock. Her hands shook as she reached out to wipe away the blood from the corner of Erskine's mouth. A man - it took her a long moment to recognize him as Howard - dropped to his knees beside her grandfather and felt for a pulse on his throat, yelling something over his shoulder. Their gaze met over the body and he shook his head, tears glistening in his eyes before he turned his attention back to Erskine and applied pressure to the bullet wounds.
"Come on, Abe!" she heard him yell, the sound muffled. "Come on, pal - we have more work to do! Damn it, Abraham!"
"Emily!" A rough hand yanked at her shoulder. "Emily, are you alright? Are you hurt?" Hands turned her head, and Martin's worried face appeared. He pulled her to her feet before sweeping his hands down her sides, checking for injuries. She took the time to look around and saw the flurry of motion. The nurses were crying in the corner while the scientists consoled one another while shooting nervous glances to the door above. Colonel Phillips appeared to be shouting orders at the military personnel and Brandt - the man who had invited the spy into the secret laboratory - stood frozen near the foot of the stairs.
"Christ," she heard Martin say as he lifted her hands to inspect them. In the rush of adrenaline Em hadn't felt the shards of glass digging into her palms, but shards protruded and the blood sluggishly pumping out of the open wounds.
"Bullets are a walk in the park."
Emily started to shake.
"Gotta do me a favor now, 'k Rosie?"
Her breath came in short gasps.
"You've gotta get out of here because that door's not going to hold long."
The corners of her vision started to blur.
"S-sorry Rosie… 'ove you."
OOO
"Here," Natasha said as she jumped back into the truck's cab and tossed a plastic bag into his lap.
Steve opened his eyes and peered into the bar, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth at the contents. "Really?" he asked, holding up a Special K Strawberry-Banana protein shake.
Nat shrugged and shook her own bottle which boasted that it had as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. "Figured you'd need something to keep up your girlish figure. Besides, they taste better than that powdered crap you insist on using."
"With how much I go through, it's cheaper," he shrugged before twisting off the cap and downing half of the drink in one gulp. "This is good."
Rather than gloat, Nat smirked. "Do you want me to drive?"
"I'm good. Gives me something to do other than think."
"We've got another few hours before we reach Jersey and who knows what's going to happen once we reach there - this may be the only time you have to think."
"If I think too much," he said while turning the ignition over and pulling away from the pump, "I may drop you in Jersey and end up in New York."
She shook her head slightly, "Like I said before - "
"I know, I know," Steve cut her off. "Stark and Foster are going to get her back, I'll bring unwanted attention to what they're doing, and me being there isn't going to do us any good...Doesn't keep me from wanting to be there, though."
"Didn't expect it to," Nat shrugged before snagging the plastic bag from his lap. "Jerky?"
"What?" Steve asked, glancing at her as he merged onto the road. Rather than answer, she offered him the bag.
"High in protein," she offered as an explanation.
They merged back onto the interstate in relative silence, both barely paying attention to the radio. As they passed into New Jersey, Natasha said softly, "Emily's a lucky girl - not everyone has someone that would let the world burn for them."
OOO
It was nearing 9 o'clock by the time Emily got back to the hotel. After assuring her SSR escort that she could make it into the lobby by herself, she quickly walked to the front desk and requested her key.
Emily was struggling to hold herself together as she stepped into the elevator, forcing herself to smile and nod at the older couple that joined her in the car. She clenched her bandaged hands to keep them from shaking; the older woman wished her a good night, and Em nodded again.
Alone for the first time in hours, Emily felt herself starting to crack. Tears welled in her eyes and she pulled in a quick breath and held it, clenching her jaw and tapping her fist against her hip. The key dug into her other hand, cutting into the tender flesh of her palm and making her bite her lip. When the doors opened to her floor, Em let out her breath and hurried off.
"I believe a woman's touch is what's needed in this situation," Peggy argued.
"Then you go, I need my secretary here," Brandt shot back.
"I would, Sir, but I have duties here. Ms. Harthorn has already given her statement and -"
"I'd like to go," Em said, wincing slightly as the nurse pulled a shard of glass from her knee; her ruined stockings sat on the bed beside her. "I-I have some idea of what she's going to be going through, Sir."
Brandt eyed her and shook his head. "I need you here, Harthorn. You'll be writing up the report for the committee - "
"I can do that," Martin interjected before flushing slightly and adding, "Sir. Besides, it's gonna be hard for to write for a while." He nodded towards her glass-free bandaged hands.
"Fine! We're on the first train in the morning, Harthorn - you better be on it."
"I will be," Emily nodded.
"Right," Peggy said curtly, shooting a glare at the senator. "I'll have a car pulled round for you. Two officers will go with you go give..." she cleared her throat delicately and blinked back a tear, "To give Mrs. Erskine the notification. Please pass along my sincerest condolences."
The last few hours had been some of the most emotionally and physically draining. Consoling her grandmother over the death of her husband had been difficult enough without the added necessity of making her flee the city.
Emily had spent two hours alone with her grandmother as she alternated between sobbing and cursed God, Howard, and Phillips in English and German. She had just made them a fresh pot of tea when a there was a knock at the door and a small squadron of SSR agents informed her that she needed to pack quickly.
"Nein! I vill not go!" Ingrid screamed, banging her fist against the table and making the hot tea splash over the rim of the cup. "I have not...My husband...Nein!"
"Ma'am," the agent said, glancing at Emily as if she could make the other woman see sense. "I'm sorry for your loss but we're just following orders."
"My husband has just died!" she snapped. "I will not leave. I have to...there are things…"
"We're waiting on the Rabbi," Emily supplied, standing slowly and putting a hand on her grandmother's shoulder. She blinked back her own tears and cleared her throat. "There are things...arrangements that need to be made."
"Like I said, Ma'am," the agent said, turning towards her.
"I understand that you're operating under orders but right now you need to give her some time." Ingrid had collapsed into her chair and was sobbing again; this was apparently enough to let the agent know that he couldn't take immediate action.
"Fine. I'll post some men outside but we will be -"
"Thank you," Em cut him off. The man grunted and gave a curt nod before turning and leaving.
Once they heard the door shut, Ingrid let out a soft moan. "Abe...Meine Abe…" Em had a hard time mentally translating the next few sentences but definitely heard the word 'kind' - child - and felt another wave of sadness when she realized that Ingrid knew that she was pregnant. Not only was she mourning her husband, she was mourning the future they could have had.
When she reached her room, felt her tenuous grasp on her emotions breaking. Letting out a huffed sob, Em tried to open her door but her shaking hands made the key scrape along the lock rather than sliding into it. When the key fell from her hands with a dull thud on the carpet, Emily lost it.
An ugly sob burst from her lips as she collapsed to her knees. She brought her hands up to cover her face as the tears she'd been suppressing all day started to fall rapidly. The thoughts she'd pushed away rushed in.
For the second time in her life, a man that she loved had died right in front of her. She'd felt his blood cooling on her hands...seen the life leave his eyes...had been helpless to stop it, just like she had with Garrett.
Emily wasn't sure how long she'd been there when someone appeared at her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "You'll be okay, Em," Martin said softly. "Come on, let's get you inside. Can you help me get her up?"
"Y-yeah," a second familiar voice said. Em looked up to see Steve setting his suitcase down and walking towards her. He seemed to hesitate for a moment before crouching down beside her. "Ma'am."
A fresh wave of tears nearly made her start hyperventilating as Steve slung her arm over his shoulders and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her up as he stood. Her feet left the ground momentarily before he seemed to realize his own height and bent to allow her to walk. Martin retrieved her key and opened the door, stepping inside to let them pass. Steve's shoulder hit the frame with a 'crack' and nearly forced her into the door before recovering. "Sorry," he muttered.
"Put her on the bed," Martin ordered before stepping into the bathroom and turning on the faucet.
"I'm, uh, sorry for your loss," Steve said quietly while lowering Em to sit on the edge of the bed. Before she could answer, Martin emerged with a wet cloth and gently pushed her to lie back and put it over her eyes.
"You'll be okay, Em. It's been a hard day for all of us, but you were amazin' - offering to go and tell the poor woman that she's a widow? That's going above and beyond."
"Er...maybe we should give her some time to rest?" Steve said uncertainly as Em turned onto her side, pressing the cloth to her eyes.
"Yeah, we can do that. Just relax, Em - we're headed home first thing in the morning. I'll make sure they give you a wake up call."
She ignored them and eventually heard the soft 'click' of the lock.
Author's Note: Wow, so...uh... a month between updates? Not the best. Unfortunately some real life issues have been sapping all my will/desire to write and made this an especially difficult chapter to write. But I've started to address those issues and had the added surprise of an unexpected trip back to Florida! I'm heading out today and just wanted to post this before hopping in the car tomorrow.
Anyways, I hope this was worth the wait. I've been dreading this chapter because I knew it was going to be emotional and, even though I really love angst, it was hard to write Em going through this again. For those of you who didn't catch it, the italicized lines when Martin pulls Em away from her grandfather is what Garrett was saying before he died. And while it was hard, I had a lot of fun imagining Steve helping her up - him still being unsure of his new size and strength and literally pulling her off her feet by not realizing how tall he is or how strong a single arm is.
Anyways, I'm posting this in a rush so all errors are mine. As always, thank you for reading and let me know what you think!