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Technoblade knew better than anyone that even the best-laid plans could fail.

And despite the arrival of Phil's warning minutes before his improvised executioners came knocking on the door, this was not a best-laid plan. This was improvised survival, instinctual and rough. This was him trying to hold onto a golden statue slick with blood, claws fumbling through his attempts to grasp it firm enough not to drop it in the ensuing battle.

The totem might be recovered later, buried beneath the snow a stone's throw away from his cabin. But to Techno that could only be cold comfort when the noose was already tightening around his neck.

Not literally, they had chosen a different method of execution. The anvil that was to be his doom swung above him in lazy circles and Technoblade was having a hard time pulling his eyes away from it, let alone concentrating on Tubbo's (no doubt very authoritarian) speech. Not that he'd be able to hear even a word of it anyway over the screaming of Chat, raging in currents at the prospect of his imminent death.

It definitely wasn't very beneficial to his brand.

He searched for Phil on the balcony, trying to lock their gazes. If he was to die, he would not do it while looking upon a crowd wishing for his demise. He would not grant them the satisfaction of seeing the unease that was building inside him. While Techno had experienced respawns in the arenas of Hypixel before, he knew how different those were with the server set up to restore your body seconds before you actually died. It still stung like a bitch, but it was a neat little loophole they had learned to exploit there to justify their more brutal games and allow competitors to jump back into the ring minutes after being defeated.

This was not going to be in any way similar, he knew.

And Phil must have known too if the expression on his face was anything to go by. Their eyes met moments before chaos broke out. Somebody had appeared in front of the stage as if from thin air, their interruption causing weapons to be drawn and shouts to ring out. Tubbo was screaming and then Quackity moved from next to the cage Techno had been forced into to throw the handle.

The anvil fell down with a sharp snap.

Technoblade almost thought he could feel the impact. His death was near-instantaneous, skull caving under the enormous sudden pressure. His brain squashed like a grape and spinal fluid leaking from his ears. For the briefest ghost of a second, he knew only a pain so blinding it almost made him wish for a quicker end.

Then nothing. Silence.

True silence, Chat muted by the void and Techno floating in it with no body to call his home. Peaceful – he relished it. Enjoyed the solitude and numbness while it lasted.

All too soon there came a pull of consciousness, a violent tug on the very foundations of his soul and then the pain was back in measures somehow both worse and more dull than before. It didn't hurt as much as it did when he felt the anvil crush him – not nearly as much, really – but instead of lasting for only a moment, it didn't stop. It spread through his every limb until it became an inescapable wave and Techno could barely think through the pain when he was thrown back into the world again.

The sensation was similar to the one experienced when on the brink of sleep, close to drifting off before every muscle contracts at once with a sudden jolt as if falling from a cliff. He jerked, and the movement sent him tumbling from the bed he had respawned in and onto the floor. Techno hissed and pressed his forehead against the planks, reaching up with weak fingers to press into his temples but this agony was rooted too deep for him to shake.

He gasped, entire body trembling as it remembered how to be alive again. Every time he blinked he could feel the anvil, again and again bashing into him and mangling anything in its path. With each ripple that tore through him, it dwindled a tiny bit - but it just kept going forever. The voices were screeching.

Technoblade could hear them echoing in his revived heartbeat.

How long he stayed like that for - curled up on the floor and writhing in pain – he didn't know. It would definitely have been close to half an hour because when any semblance of reality returned to him Phil was there with him. Broken out of house arrest just to come pick Techno up from being a pathetic mess on the floor. A bitter laugh rose in his throat.

"Easy, mate. Control your breathing." Phil's words didn't seep in but the presence of his voice was soothing enough to calm Techno down somewhat and for Chat to settle. They liked Phil, they always had. He tried to follow the instructions. "Got to ease your body back into existing. First time's always the hardest, it gets easier."

"I don't know if that's the comfort you think it is, Phil." He struggled through a single sentence, throat raw.

Phil laughed, arms wrapping around him to pull Techno up into a seated position. It made the pain flare up worse again for a few seconds before it died down to join the general aching of... everything. Gentle hands caressed through his hair and then Techno felt his head rest on Phil's shoulder.

The residual tension left him almost immediately.

"How many laws did you break to get to me?" he asked into the crook of Phil's neck. Wings fluffed up slightly behind them, twitching with an itch to cover them both and cage them in with feathers. They didn't though and Techno was grateful, he didn't know if he'd be able to handle the feeling of being trapped.

"A few. Couldn't let you deal with this on your own."

Techno huffed. "Appreciated."

He closed his eyes and sunk into it, Phil thrilling softly and deep within his chest. The pain had left a numbness in its wake, a hollow feeling inside him Techno didn't dare think about. Something that was once there, carved out and left empty. One life gone, just like that.

And while it should be impossible, Technoblade swore he could feel that absence like it was a physical loss.